Anne's Reviews > Batman, Volume 7: Endgame

Batman, Volume 7 by Scott Snyder
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it was ok
bookshelves: arc, comics, graphic-novels, netgalley, read-in-2015, i-lost-brain-cells, i-smell-poo

What the fuck just happened here?!
Wow. I officially loathe one of Snyder's Batman stories.
Alright. I'm well aware that I'm going to be standing out here by myself, but I fucking HATED this. Like, I can't even describe the rage I feel right now. Just pure fury mingled with crushing disappointment.
Well, what do you know? I guess could describe it!
Maybe Snyder has been the king of the Batverse for so long now, that he's started believing his own hype? I mean, really ?!
You may want to have those looked at, buddy.

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*deep breath*
I did really like parts of it. So there's that.
Capullo's art is amazing. Just spot-on, wonderful, and haunting.

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The facial expressions are perfect. Loved the way he drew...everything.

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Warning: Spoilers! Lots of 'em.
I'm not going to be able to properly bitch (or have a full-on tantrum), unless I can talk about what happened. If you haven't read this yet, you may want to stop reading and come back later.


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Alrighty, the first part of the volume had me all aflutter!
Batman was fighting the leftover effects of Crane's fear toxin, and he kept having these vivid dreams about his death. Julia was still helping Alfred with everything while he recovered, and it looked like their relationship was vastly improved.
I don't know what happened in Volume 3 of Batman Eternal yet, but it appears they are living in some building previously owned by the Court of Owls. I hate the Owls, and I thought we were done with that whole hokey storyline, but I'm willing to let it slide.
Anyway, I loved Bruce's interactions with Alfred.

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Ok, then Wonder Woman popped up outta nowhere and started beating the shit out of Bruce. She wasn't making a whole lot of sense, and I thought it might be another dream. Apparently not...

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He managed to take her down, but, by that point, Aquaman & Flash were also both after him.
Boom! He pulled on his Justice-League-Taker-Downer suit, and incapacitated both of them. Nicely done! But he still didn't know what was causing them to go nuts.

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And then Superman showed up, and everything became clear (ish).

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The Joker's back!
And he'd managed to infect the Justice League with a special Joker Toxin. Batman narrowly escaped Superman, and (somehow) managed to get him, and the rest of the League, confined at A.R.G.U.S..
I'm assuming Alfred and Julia did this off-page, because when Bruce woke up (Clark hits hard!), the JL had already been hooked up to IVs.
Up next? Synthesize an antidote.
The bad news was that Joker let his toxin loose in Gotham, and it was spreading fast. The reallyreally bad news was that there seemed to be no way to make a working antidote.
I was on the edge of my seat by then, baby!
Why can't they find an antidote?


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Ok, sounds pretty awesome so far, right?
Well, it was!
And then it all stared going downhill for me. At first, it was just little things (how did Joker managed to dose the entire Justice League?), but I brushed them aside, because I've been trained to blindly trust Snyder.
But also because of cool jump scares like this:

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But within that panel lies the problem.
I AM NOT FUCKING KIDDING ABOUT THE SPOILERS!
TURN YOUR ASS AROUND, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!


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First, the fact that Joker was masquerading as the helpful doctor/intern from Arkham (Eric Border) that Batman has been working with, wasn't a shocker to me. I'd been wondering when they were going to 'spring' that one on us. I mean, come on, he's been shady from the start, but Arkham Manor pretty much confirmed it for me.
I can't be the only one who was thinking that...

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The next step is a doozy.
The Big Twist is that the Joker can't be killed. He's immortal like Vandal Savage, Ra's al Ghul, or Shovel Face from Twilight.
And he's been around since (at least) the beginning of Gotham.

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DUM. DUM. DUUUUUM.
So...now we have some new convoluted Joker origin story? And he has powers? Has always had powers?
This explains why the skin on his face has healed itself.
Oh my God, I never thought I'd actually miss the fact that his face wasn't attached anymore, but I'd rather have a totally human Joker without his fucking face, than WhatEverTheFuck Snyder was trying to sell me here.

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Still, I trusted him.
He's the Goddamn Batman Snyder!
In my mind, I had full faith that he was going to iron out the kinks in this storyline.
It was an elaborate ruse! Or Bruce was in some Crane induced delusion!
The possibilities were whirling through my mind, even as I watched each corny plot thread unfold.

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Oh my! Joe Chill (exposed to the toxin) is waiting to kill a family. It's been set up by Joker to look just like Crime Alley! Oh! Batman saves the family, but the toxin spreads to the adults, so he can only rescue the boy.
I'll bet the boy is somehow part of Joker's plan!

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Um...nope. Evidently it was just an excuse for Batman to save a kid.
Whuuuut?
Did we really need yet another reminder of the gunshot, the pearls falling, the sad little boy crying in the rain?

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Let me go ahead and answer that for you. No, we did not.
Whatever! In Snyder We Trust!
So when Joker broke into the Batcave and chopped off Alfred's hand?

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I trusted him.
And when he stole the giant Dinosaur to use in a parade because that's such an original fucking idea?

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I trusted him.
And when he had to go to the stupid-ass Court of Owls to find out if the Joker was truly immortal?

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I still trusted him.
Then have the world's lamest fight with one of their Talons?

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I trustehhhh...well, if I'm being honest, I was starting to get pretty worried at this point. And, it turns out, I had every right to be.
Joker isn't immortal, he's just found some sort of a Lazarus pit to heal himself. Of course, the key to saving everyone in Gotham (from the toxin) is whatever's in that Pit Juice.
*rolls eyes*

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The showdown culminates with Batman & Joker in a cave full of explosives.
They proceed to simultaneously stab and psychoanalyze each other to death.
Dr. Phil, what do you think it means when Joker lodges a playing card in Batman's eye?
Well, Anne, I think it shows that they are definitely two sides of the same coin. They can't live without each other, and so they will probably die in this cave together.
WhatTheFuck are you talking about, Phil?! Oprah lied to us! Self-help guru, my ass! You're nothing but an obnoxious bully with a receding hairline, and smarmy grin.


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But it turns out Dr Phil was right.
Yep. They killed Batman...again.
I swear to God, I just now finally feel like I'm caught up on all of the shit from the last time he died, and they're doing it again?
I guess Nubby Alfred could always step up as the next Dark Knight, if they wanna shake things up for a year or so.

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The final nail in the coffin though?
Batman left a note.

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Luckily, Alfred was able to translate the one word note that said Ha.
Blah, blah, balh...Batman's story will always be a tragedy, because that's the way he wanted it.
Live bravely, smile at the void, and eat cake...

Or something like that.
*vomits*
I can't believe this shit. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT!
You just did this, you idiots! Why don't you kill off someone who hasn't been dead in the past few years?
Green Arrow and Superman haven't been dead in a while. Or how 'bout Hal? Maybe Spectre could come back and take him over again?
But no. Let's kill Batman. Marvel got rid of Wolverine, so we need to off our flagship character, as well.
Great idea!

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*sigh*
Ok, the beginning of the story was great, and Capullo's art deserves 5 stars all by itself, so this was not a total loss.
Again, I know most of you will love this, think it's an ass-kicking story, and continue to worship this run. And I don't want to argue with you, or try to change your mind. This is simply my (fairly worthless) opinion.

Ugh. I'm exhausted from hating Endgame so much. I'm going to bed.

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Initial thoughts:
Wow. I gotta think about this one for a bit...
My knee-jerk reaction is a hearty fuck you to Snyder.

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I received a digital copy from NetGalley & DC.

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Reading Progress

May 11, 2015 – Shelved
August 21, 2015 – Started Reading
August 25, 2015 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-50 of 169 (169 new)


Ryan Stewart I'll be very interested to see what you think of this.


Anne Just got it today! It looks cool, so we'll see...


Ryan Stewart Haha! That knee-jerk reaction sounds about right.


Anne I actually want to 1 star the shit out of this! How big are Snyder's balls?!


Ryan Stewart Pretty damn big, apparently. I was dumbfounded when I finished. I still can't understand the heaps of praise this story received. I'm a little relieved you didn't like it honestly haha. At least the art was good.


Anne I'm still debating the rating. The first bit had me on the edge of my seat, but...


message 7: by Lono (new)

Lono Damn, this is disappointing.


Anne Have you read it yet? You may love it, Lono.


message 9: by MadMaxx (last edited Aug 25, 2015 09:24AM) (new)

MadMaxx Greg Capullo is always good, his run on Spawn was amazing, and I think he is doing a bang up job here on Batman, but then that is just the art, haven't read this one yet but from what y'all are saying, don't think I want to. Was this supposed to cover the Death of the Family crossover. That's one reason I not too fond of collected volumes like that, I never know what issues are inside, I liked the Death of the Family crossover, not as much as other crossovers, but it was cool. I only ask because I see Joker holding a face.


message 10: by Lono (new)

Lono Anne wrote: "Have you read it yet? You may love it, Lono."

Not yet, but I've got the floppies on deck. A little scurred now.


message 11: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne MadMaxx wrote: "Greg Capullo is always good, his run on Spawn was amazing, and I think he is doing a bang up job here on Batman, but then that is just the art, haven't read this one yet but from what y'all are say..."

I'm the lone wolf on this. But right now I'm raging... I'd advise yo to try it, and see what you think for yourself.
It's not a DotF crossover, though. It's...it's HORSESHIT.


message 12: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne Lono wrote: "Anne wrote: "Have you read it yet? You may love it, Lono."

Not yet, but I've got the floppies on deck. A little scurred now."


I want your opinion. Read them!


Logan Wow didn't you enjoy this one?


message 14: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne I loved the first half, Logan. And I know I'm in the minority.


message 15: by Jeff (last edited Aug 25, 2015 10:39AM) (new)

Jeff Aquaman helped with this review. He's good for something, at least.


message 16: by Anne (last edited Aug 25, 2015 10:41AM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne I'm trying to write this review, Jeff. I'm already angry, and you're not helping. *frowns*


message 17: by Jeff (new)

Jeff I love your super ranty reviews! :)


Logan You gotta admit that fight scene, in the beginning with the JL was awesome though!


message 19: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne Logan wrote: "You gotta admit that fight scene, in the beginning with the JL was awesome though!"

I loved it! Loved it!


message 20: by Ryan (new) - rated it 3 stars

Ryan Stewart That review did not disappoint haha! We might be in the minority (I actually think you liked it less than me) but you hit on a ton of very valid points. Excellent GIF usage, as well.


message 21: by [Name Redacted] (new)

[Name Redacted] You continue to justify my disdain for the New 52...


message 22: by Artemy (new) - added it

Artemy Great review, Anne. I initially thought it was an OK story with some problems, but after reading what Snyder is currently doing with Batman (soooo much bullshit), and after thinking about and analysing the Endgame some more, I have to agree. It's shit. The guy just lost it. All the stupid explanations, all the weird-ass character motivation, blergh. And no, Alfred did not step up as Batman, but someone almost as ridiculous did (I won't spoil this for you just in case, although it is a pretty well-known fact at this point).


message 23: by Frédéric (last edited Aug 26, 2015 04:35AM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Frédéric Wow. What a dressing-down! When this one's on my list, I certainly will have this review in mind. Zero year and such already half disappointed me, I am not too hopeful for this one now. Why bother? Why, Cappulo's artwork of course!


message 24: by AndiG (new)

AndiG Snyder wrote a shocker? That's so upsetting. Excuse me while I cry in the goddamned corner.


message 25: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne Ryan wrote: "That review did not disappoint haha! We might be in the minority (I actually think you liked it less than me) but you hit on a ton of very valid points. Excellent GIF usage, as well."

Thank, Ryan. I'm still shellshocked! LOL


message 26: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne [Name Redacted] wrote: "You continue to justify my disdain for the New 52..."

I've been trying not to be biased, but DC is (on the whole) upsetting me with their crap lately.


message 27: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne Artemiy wrote: "Great review, Anne. I initially thought it was an OK story with some problems, but after reading what Snyder is currently doing with Batman (soooo much bullshit), and after thinking about and analy..."

I'm going to look into it, and I don't mind spoilers. Besides, I'm pretty over this title as of now. What a crock of shit. I knew he was capable of writing a turd (The Wake), but I didn't think he'd take such a massive dump on Batman.


message 28: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne Frédéric wrote: "Wow. What a dressing-down! When this one's on my list, I certainly will have this review in mind. Zero year and such already half disappointed me, I don't look to hopeful for this one now. Why both..."

I have a lot of friends who liked it, so maybe you will too? Although, if you didn't like Zero Year, I doubt it.


message 29: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne AndiG wrote: "Snyder wrote a shocker? That's so upsetting. Excuse me while I cry in the goddamned corner."

Can I come to the corner and cry, too?


message 30: by [Name Redacted] (new)

[Name Redacted] Anne wrote: "[Name Redacted] wrote: "You continue to justify my disdain for the New 52..."

I've been trying not to be biased, but DC is (on the whole) upsetting me with their crap lately."


I love how they're now trying to avoid ditching the New 52 while still attempting to reclaim all the fans they lost through it. :P "DC You" my tuchus...


David - proud Gleeman in Branwen's adventuring party "The bad news was that Joker let his toxin loose in Gotham, and it was spreading fast." What an original idea! That's never been done before, right?
Batman: Joker's Last Laugh
Riiiiiiiiight...

Awesome review as always, Anne! Particularly loved the Dr. Phil cameo!

P.S. Is there really someone called Shovel-Face in Twilight?!?


message 32: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne *gags* Right? I initially liked at least half of the new titles, but the new-New stuff coming out is getting worse. The 'new' Batgirl is an example of that crap.


message 33: by Artemy (new) - added it

Artemy Anne wrote: "Artemiy wrote: "Great review, Anne. I initially thought it was an OK story with some problems, but after reading what Snyder is currently doing with Batman (soooo much bullshit), and after thinking..."

Well, it's Jim friggin' Gordon now. Yep. He works for GCPD, has a cool new haircut, he uses the nicotine patch and he wears a huge mecha-robot suit, because that's what Batman was always about, right? Right. And they resurrected Bruce Wayne in like the next issue after Endgame, only now he doesn't have any memory of ever being Batman, he's just Bruce Wayne, the regular guy.


message 34: by Trish (new)

Trish OK, this just goes to show very clearly why I'm not into comic books. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the Marvel movies. But the comics seem to have the problem of constantly killing people off, bringing them back to life (or not), everyone needing a superhuman power to be a worthy opponent, characters then needing even more superhuman powers etc. It's overkill for me. Sorry. Incidentally that is also what's ruining certain movie sequels for me.

AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY KILLED WOLVERINE??????!!!!!


Frédéric Artemiy wrote: "Anne wrote: "Artemiy wrote: "Great review, Anne. I initially thought it was an OK story with some problems, but after reading what Snyder is currently doing with Batman (soooo much bullshit), and a..."

No s#!@?!!! My expectations are even lower now...


message 36: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne Artemiy wrote: "Anne wrote: "Artemiy wrote: "Great review, Anne. I initially thought it was an OK story with some problems, but after reading what Snyder is currently doing with Batman (soooo much bullshit), and a..."

Are you KIDDING me?! Gordon in a bat-suit? And Wayne is an amnesiac? I know you can't see it, but my eyes just rolled right on out of my head...


message 37: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne Trish wrote: "OK, this just goes to show very clearly why I'm not into comic books. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the Marvel movies. But the comics seem to have the problem of constantly killing people off, bringin..."

Oh yeah. Only marvel actually did this year long(ish) event called Death of Wolverine...and they didn't bring him back in the next issue. Maybe because he's already been an amnesiac! Bwahahaha!


message 38: by Trish (new)

Trish David "P.S. Is there really someone called Shovel-Face in Twilight?!?"

Not actually called that but deserving of the name - unless we're talking about two different "Twilight"s here!


message 39: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne Frédéric wrote: "Artemiy wrote: "Anne wrote: "Artemiy wrote: "Great review, Anne. I initially thought it was an OK story with some problems, but after reading what Snyder is currently doing with Batman (soooo much ..."

Ha! Let me know what you think when you finish it. I'm curious to see how you feel. Looking at (most) other reviews, I'm in the minority.


Frédéric Anne wrote: "Frédéric wrote: "Artemiy wrote: "Anne wrote: "Artemiy wrote: "Great review, Anne. I initially thought it was an OK story with some problems, but after reading what Snyder is currently doing with Ba..."

Sure will. But it just went down from my top list right now. Reckon I have to go through a whole lot of meditation to prepare myself (breathing-in/breathing out)


message 41: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne David "proud member of Branwen's adventuring party" wrote: "Riiiiiiiiight...

Awesome review as always, Anne! Particularly loved the Dr. Phil cameo!

P.S. Is there really someone called Shovel-Face in Twilight?!?
"


LMAO! No, Shovel Face is just what I refer to the guy who played Edward in the movie.


message 42: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne Frédéric wrote: "Sure will. But it just went down from my top list right now. Reckon I have to go through a whole lot of meditation to prepare myself (breathing-in/breathing out)
"


Good, gooooood. Deep breaths, Frédéric. In my haste to get more Batman, I also ended up with The Joker: Endgame. I feel a bit sick at the prospect of reading it now. *sobs*


message 43: by Jeff (new)

Jeff What the flarking hell?

Did Hawkman get a purty Joker face too?


message 44: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne Jeff wrote: "What the flarking hell?

Did Hawkman get a purty Joker face too?"


THANK YOU! This whole thing was so over the top and crazy that I couldn't believe it was even happening. I'm telling you, if this had had a different artist, I don't think it would have been received as well. Capullo covered a lot of Snyder's sins with his art.


message 45: by Jeff (new)

Jeff Art can help promote a bad concept, but not enough to make it readable.


message 46: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne Well, maybe I'm nuts then, because the reviews are (pretty much) all glowing. Except Sam's...unbelievably.


message 47: by Jeff (new)

Jeff Anne wrote: "Well, maybe I'm nuts then, because the reviews are (pretty much) all glowing. Except Sam's...unbelievably."

A broken clock (Sam) is right twice a day.


message 48: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne LOL! I'm always shocked when we both dislike a comic. It's like the universe agrees that something is soooo bad that even the two of us must align.


message 49: by Jeff (new)

Jeff It's like when the planets all align, bad shit is usually the predicted result.


message 50: by Anne (new) - rated it 2 stars

Anne And that bad shit would be this lame plot.


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