Mimi's Reviews > Dark Lover

Dark Lover by J.R. Ward
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did not like it
bookshelves: 2015, humor, not-for-me, did-not-finish, paranormal-romance

Normally I don't rate books I can't finish, but I'm doing that now to prevent the Goodreads recommendation algorithm from recommending similar books.

* * * * *

I couldn't, in good conscience, not set this book on fire if it hadn't been a library book.

* * * * *

It always amazes me whenever I see a book in this series (or any other book by this author) pop up on my feed with a glowing 5-star review. It's like... really? How did that person get through more than 10 pages of this author's prose and not want to burn the book and/or quit the genre altogether? No sarcasm here. I would truly like to know. For science.

* * * * *

Never before has a book club's choice gone so wrong.

What were they even thinking. What was I thinking.

Looking back, now that I've read some of it, it's like of course I would have hated this book no matter what, but since it was a book club pick, I gave it the benefit of the doubt, which was a lot more than it deserved.

The writing is... clunky at the best of times and generally awkward, more awkward than most paranormal romances I've encountered, including the YA ones.

And then--AND THEN--there's atrocious spelling:

These alone would have made me quit the book right on the spot, but you know, since this was a book club pick, I gritted my teeth and toughed it out. Made it all the way through the first chapter and that was as far as I could go. And that was with great effort and even greater perseverance because the writing is hilariously bad. It's the kind of bad that would be okay if it were satire or a parody, but this book is neither. So it's just bad.
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Reading Progress

April 28, 2015 – Started Reading
April 28, 2015 – Shelved
April 28, 2015 – Shelved as: 2015
April 28, 2015 – Shelved as: humor
April 28, 2015 – Finished Reading
May 27, 2015 – Shelved as: not-for-me
April 5, 2018 – Shelved as: did-not-finish
November 28, 2018 – Shelved as: paranormal-romance

Comments Showing 1-19 of 19 (19 new)

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Milda Page Runner Ha ha! Wouldn't have expected anything else from you :D I seem to have higher tolerance to pnr crap yet even I hated this one ;)

Courtnie THOSE NAMES. I was annoyed with that too.

message 3: by Mimi (last edited Apr 29, 2015 12:50PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Mimi As if the writing isn't already cheesy enough. If not for those names, I might have been able to get through the book.

message 4: by Mimi (last edited Apr 30, 2015 05:47AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Mimi Milda wrote: "Ha ha! Wouldn't have expected anything else from you :D I seem to have higher tolerance to pnr crap yet even I hated this one ;)"

You know me too well. :D Everything about this book is way over the top. At first I thought that that was the point, that the writing was making fun of the genre, but then the story got all melodramatic and brooding (and itself too seriously), and I couldn't take it anymore.

message 5: by carol. (new)

carol. First chapter DNF! Way to call it!

message 6: by Mimi (last edited May 02, 2015 10:50AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Mimi It was so bad I'm still traumatized...by the spelling of those names.


The only thing worse than these names are the glowing reviews. But, you know, to each their own.

message 7: by carol. (new)

carol. Really Seriously? Phury?? Someone thought that was acceptable? Sounds like a bad Pratchett spoof of a war novel. Only less funny.

message 8: by Mimi (last edited May 04, 2015 02:06PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Mimi They all make me cringe, but "Vishous" catapults the book up the list of things to be turned into papier-mache. You know you've made it as an author when your publisher has no qualms about characters named Vishous and Phury.

message 9: by Beth (new)

Beth Thumbs up for the "comedy" bookshelf. Brain couldn't help but read "Phury" as "Furry" which didn't help matters.

(What brought me here, you might ask? The most recent of these was on a "coming out in April" list and I was curious if any of my friends/follows liked these. Curious no more!)

message 10: by Mimi (new) - rated it 1 star

Mimi LOL forever at Furry. I didn't even think of that, but now I will. Forever. 😂

But wait, Beth. Before you write off this book, please try the sample chapter and let me know how far you get. Please! For science. 😉

message 11: by Caro (new)

Caro the Helmet Lady Cool names, why you no like? xD

message 12: by Mimi (new) - rated it 1 star

Mimi Because my eyes wouldn't stop bleeding... XD

message 13: by Kyla (new)

Kyla lol ew

what an experience

message 14: by Mimi (new) - rated it 1 star

Mimi It's 2 hours of my life I will never get back... or recover from lol.

message 15: by Sad (new)

Sad Sunday (If I say it's bad, it's bad) Not falling for weird vampire based guys with fancy lairs and their stupid lovers? Well, that means you are well :D Romance isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and these series are "popcorns" - page-turners your probably regret reading later. Skip-read #1, and all I can say - typical paranormal romance/erotica.

message 16: by Mimi (new) - rated it 1 star

Mimi Nah, I'm not a fan of vampires (or fancy lairs or stupid lovers). I just put up with them because I like urban fantasies. But wait a minute, have you read this series??

message 17: by Sad (new)

Sad Sunday (If I say it's bad, it's bad) I skip-read the first one, so I get the idea :/

message 18: by Mimi (new) - rated it 1 star

Mimi Oh I see. I thought you actually read these books and for awhile there I was like HOW??? Don't you DNF almost everything? lol

message 19: by Sad (new)

Sad Sunday (If I say it's bad, it's bad) I do :D DNF is my blessing and a curse. I don't know if skip-reading counts as DNF or "read", so I still haven't written anything for this book. Or maybe it was another release.

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