TRACE's Reviews > The Perfectionists

The Perfectionists by Sara Shepard
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bookshelves: guilty-pleasure

If you have either read or seen Pretty Little Liars, then you know that shit is TRASH but it’s fun as hell and will tickle your tender bittles. So when I saw the author had started a new series, I had to jump on it right quick.

The Perfectionists is about the town’s resident douchelord and a group of rando girls that have all had their lives ruined in some way or another because of this dude. The girls discuss how they would KILL his ass during a group project in class (SURROUNDED BY LISTENING EARS, SMH) but they decide on playing a prank on him instead, because murder is a lil too wild, you know what I’m saying. Might get blood stains on your TJ Maxx bottom-of-the-bin Michael Kors bag! The girls decide to drug Resident Douchelord with oxy the night of his own house party - just enough to knock him out so they can draw on his face. Classic! But oh no - later that night, he’s found actually dead! They didn’t drug him enough to kill him, but that doesn’t matter - they’re still losing their damn brains! We didn’t kill him but it looks BAD, y’all! Even though they could probably get themselves in the clear if they just told the police the truth! But nah, they went to the same Rosewood School of Dumbassery and Shit Idiot Decision-Making and decide to lie to the cops. Neat job, guys!

I had a hard time keeping track of who’s who in this book because most them got some WHITE PEOPLE AS HELL NAMES. Parker Duvall? Mackenzie Wright? The Korean girl in their group is even named CAITLIN MARTELL-LEWIS??? Girl what?????

Speaking of which, when describing Caitlin, she was deemed a “CUTE, ATHLETIC GIRL” juxtaposed to her brother who is the “opposite” and described as “YOU KNOW, A DORKY SKINNY KOREAN KID”… Why omit one and not the other? What is it you are trying to say, pray tell?

It has the same elements of Pretty Little Liars - a pedophilic teacher, rando and nonchalant deaths, little moral value in relationships - all within a group of privileged girls that ruin their OWN lives because of their stupid decisions. I don’t even have much else to say because literally nothing happens in this book. NUNT AT ALL. There is no resolution. You don’t find out ANYTHING. It’s 250 pages of some girls freaking the fuck out about a murder they didn’t commit!

That said… I’ll read the next one, HEHE

RATING: I rate this a when you pick up your dog’s dookie through a plastic bag and you pretend like you don’t feel the warmth but YOU FEEL IT. BUT YOU DO THAT SHIT ANYWAY BECAUSE YOU LOVE THAT DOOKIEMAKER!

I RECOMMEND THIS TO: People who get off on schadenfreude and are down to watch some ABC Fam or Lifetime flicks
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Reading Progress

April 12, 2015 – Started Reading
April 12, 2015 – Shelved
May 9, 2015 – Finished Reading
August 4, 2015 – Shelved as: guilty-pleasure

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Emily Oh my god l I just laughed out loud reading this. So accurate!

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