Kiki's Reviews > Passion

Passion by Lauren Kate
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Sep 17, 2010

it was ok
bookshelves: angels-and-demons, ya, could-have-been-worse, love-stinks, better-than-the-first-one, sentimental-value
Recommended to Kiki by: An angry cat
Recommended for: Angry cats

** spoiler alert ** The other day I was at Freshco with my mother and we were looking for bargains, as you do. We'd already snagged yellow corn chips for like $1.99 and a whole stack of cat food for $0.49, so I was feeling pretty pumped by the time we got to the cold section to look for juice.

My mother walks over to the chiller and looks at the prices. There's three shelves of OJ, and to the right there's a smaller bottle with pulp priced at about five dollars. To the left, there's a huge bottle without pulp priced at like $3.99.

My mother flaps between the two, and I stare at her in disbelief.

"What the hell? Pick the one on the left."

"But I want PULP."

My jaw hits the floor. We've literally saved our asses off, and here we are stressing over pulp. PULP!

So I grab the cheaper bottle, put it in the cart and say, in my best Sense The Tone voice, "Mother, I cannot believe that our financial wellbeing is now resting on you wanting pulp. Pulp!"

She grabs the cart with a scowl. "Someone's touchy. I only wanted pulp."

We do the rest of the shop in stubborn silence. Well, not the rest. We stay grumpy with each other until we reach the freezer case and start tittering about kosher ice cream and how much better it is than atheist dairy products.

Looking back, I now call this a Torment moment. Everything trips along fine until someone has to make a frivolous decision or says something not quite on the mark, and then BAM! Blitzkrieg. Ladies and gentlemen, let it be known that I adore my mother with all my being, but man, can she be a Luce when she wants to be.

Alas, it was this character model in the previous book that left a nasty taste in my mouth, and forced me to question whether or not I'd ever bother picking this one up. Let's be real here: Torment was an appalling shitstorm.

Should I go on, I wondered? Should I put myself through the agony?

Of course, that's all complete horseshit. There was never any question: I was always going to finish this series. It's a car crash. It's crack.

Look, I was under no illusions after reading the first two instalments. I set myself up some tantalizing anti-feminism folded into a good, hearty chunk of mature cheddar. All wrapped in a smooth sheet of rich, purple fondant.

And here I am, giving the book 2.5 stars.

Let me explain. Please.

So Passion's writing was peculiar in that it's kind of like that weird phase you go through when you finally decide to leave fanfiction behind; you're done with all your porny "his eyes were like shining cerulean gemstones from the Dead Sea" (laughing mildly because I don't think Ally Adornetto ever got past that stage) but you aren't sure how to really structure a sentence or write with any sort of rhythm. You don't really have a style.

That's what's weird about this book. There's no real style or flair. You couldn't read a random excerpt and think, "wow, that's definitely Lauren Kate."

Why would you, anyway. That's like eating a cheap greasy burger and then marvelling at it, exclaiming, "oh, wow, that's definitely Kraft American cheese slices. I'd know that elegant cultured taste anywhere."

I just can't really invest myself in this prose. There's just no raw skill at the core of it. Most of it barely makes sense. There's an awful lot of: "He did this. He did that. Then he did this. Then he did that. He felt this. Then he felt that."

Example?

"He could feel their ragged teeth sawing into the leather of his shoes. He could hardly breathe for the stink of their waste. He kicked out and there was a squeal. Then he gathered his feet beneath him and rose onto his haunches."

Yeah.

[Drinking Game: Take a shot every time you come across the word "Anachronism" in Passion. You'll be roaring drunk by the time you reach page 150. No shit.]

The dialogue wasn't too awful, but the main problem I had was that it just didn't fit with the change in time periods. We have some AngryCrazyBitchyFemale(tm) in 3100 B.C. talking about eardrums and a kitchen wench in nineteenth-century England roaring like that photo-bombing guy on that BBC news report at the Glasgow airport, who danced around behind the reporter slurring, "I hate Ice-land!". Look, it just doesn't fit.

That's another odd thing about this book. The time travel. Okay, I understand the perils of writing about time travel and I obviously commend Lauren's quite brave decision to attempt it as a plot point. Time travel is a weird thing. It's very, very difficult to make sense of and extremely hard to base a story around. (I for one can't stand it. I hate it because it isn't feasible. You simply cannot make logical sense of time travel. It's not a concept that feels even remotely comfortable to me. I just UGH. No. I hate it.)

But there are so many worrisome plot holes that can arise with time travel, and Passion really is no exception. The whole thing with 'cleaving' the present self and the past self together to go "three-D" was incredibly confusing. So Luce can blend with her past selves - but are they aware of it happening? How does Luce slot herself perfectly into the timeline? How come she doesn't change anything? You would literally have to match up every single minute movement you made with the past self, or you risk creating a ripple effect that would destroy or greatly alter the future.

And then Daniel cleaves to his past self, okay, but then kills his past self with a starshot? WTF?! How does that even make sense? IF YOU KILL YOUR PAST SELF YOUR FUTURE SELF WILL NOT EXIST. So how does it get from dead past Daniel to living future Daniel and how the hell does this act not change the future?

What the fucking fuck, Lauren Kate?

And another thing: what the hell was with the campfire scene? Anyone care to explain? We're supposedly being pulled in three directions which doesn't make sense with the premise. Luce and Daniel are torn between the good fallen angels and the bad fallen angels (don't fucking get me started) but then there's a third side involving Arriane and Annabelle, while Annabelle's role has never been fully explained and probably never will be?

And hey, I still hate all of the characters. Well, all except Cam. He got a little interesting here, though. Less insipid and dull. I like that.

Except!

Why the fuck was the whole "Daniel and I are BROTHERS, BROTHERS IN ARRRRRMS" thing treated like some big reveal? Good God, give us some credit. Anyone who knows jack shit about angels knows they're all basically siblings, considering they have the same Father. In fact, you don't even need to know jack shit. You just need a brain.

I just. . . I can't. Of course they are brothers. Of course. Fuck!

Yo, let me make something clear. This book is, by far, the best yet. The characterization was a little less paranoid and jumpy and Lord, Luce even began to sow the seeds of a personality. It was a personality worth a kick in the fucking teeth, but I'd rather hate a character than feel nothing. Yeah, Luce in this book is basically a complete fuckwit but that's better than a sad crumpled piece of wet cardboard.

And yeah, she's a fuckwit alright. After making a total fucking piss-up of her Helston life, she banged her head on the wall of the Announcer hard enough to shake her out of this blind flailing trance of pure panic that send her stumbling through her more recent lives like an ostrich on blow, but apparently it wasn't enough to force her into a state of more apt decision-making. I mean, I'd like to think that if I were Luce, after being royally fucked-over by a deceitful librarian (cough-snigger-cough) AND a friend's ex-boyfriend, and having nothing to show for it but a bloodless corpse and a really horrible haircut I'd perhaps think twice about trusting small gruff goblins (gargoyles, whatever) with my quest to reveal the secrets of the universe.

But not Luce! She's as humble and trusting as ever. She trots alongside Bill, this ridiculous caricature of a sidekick, as he supplies her with a copious wealth of deus ex machina, until the plot actually has to fucking happen and he turns out to be Satan (okay, let's not get into how deep of a mythology fail it is to equate Satan, Lucifer and the Devil. I just. . . let's not).

All those nudge-nudge hint-hint comments about not being an angel and knowing literally EVERYTHING may as well have been big, sparkly signs with 'I AM EVIL INCARNATE' written across them in scarlet Sharpie. And there's this urgent disaster moment where he grows into some 1,000 foot tall monster and Luce is screaming and there's this shitstorm that should have happened two hundred pages before and the whole thing is just so hilariously melodramatic. Someone needs to take Lauren Kate's laptop away from her until she calms down.

Bill aside, Daniel was likely the greatest evil of this book. He always does this really weird *Terminator voice* MUST PROTECT AND THEN KILL WOMAN WHO INEXPLICABLY LOVES ME thing and to be honest, it creeps me out more than anything. Like, he's this really old, old guy going after this seventeen year old girl, telling her what to do and where to go, and sexually idolizing her to the point of complete obsession. She seems to be handling things okay but he cries that she's "bound to need him" and I'm just so done with him. I'm so done with this really creepy old dude like swirling around her with eyes like spotlights, trying to mold her into the person she used to be in a past life. It's fucking sick.

Really, though. Luce is hardly Lara Croft, but she honestly does not need to be constantly rescued. By the time he came out with "she's bound to need me", Luce had already escaped a Russian war zone, saved the lives of a platoon of Italian soldiers in the back of an ambulance and traveled safely by Announcer three times. Of course, there were cries aplenty of "I WANT DANIEL" and "UGH DANIEL IS MY AIR" and "HOW WILL I SURVIVEEE" but what she shows us is that she's capable and it's Daniel holding her back. He's a really perverted crutch.

Is no one else freaked out by the whole Daniel/Luce pairing or is it just me? He's millennia old. In this life, Luce is seventeen. She isn't even old enough to buy a Bud Light. And they're in "love" like a week after they meet in this life, as if Luce is just fair game for Daniel. That's what we teach young women with these tales of weird, almost macabre romance. That their love is cheap, easy. That they're prey, and they ought to let men pounce on them and stand at their helm in total control. Isn't Luce flattered, you'll ask? Isn't she flattered that Daniel loves her?

She shouldn't be flattered. It shouldn't be flattering to have a man step into your life and tell you that he has decided that you love him, and you have no choice in the matter. You always have a choice. Your love is absolutely priceless, and anybody who thinks they are entitled to it is a grotesque self-important piece of garbage.

This book also breaks the Rule of Abeko in the most spectacular fashion, which I often use as a rule of thumb; are you willing to do some research, or do you prefer to follow in the footsteps of misogynists past?

"They [Adam and Lilith] weren't married very long when Lilith left him. It broke his heart. He waited for her a long time, but eventually, he met Eve. And Lilith never forgave Adam for getting over her. She spent the rest of her days wandering the earth and cursing the family Adam had with Eve."

Misogynists it is, then!

Lilith originates from somewhere within the darkest throes of Judeo-Christian mysticism, and was first named in the Alphabet of Ben-Sira. The real story goes that Adam and Lilith were born from the same clay, and thus equal. He tried to force Lilith to be sexually penitent, but she refused to let him dominate her, so fled. As soon as she ran away, Adam cried to God that he was alone, so God created Eve from Adam's rib so that she would forever be in debt to and a possession of man. Lilith hated Adam and refused to return to Eden, even after three angels threatened to kill a hundred of her demon children a day.

Here's a quote from the original Alphabet of Ben-Sira:

"While God created Adam, who was alone, He said, 'It is not good for man to be alone' (Genesis 2:18). He also created a woman, from the earth, as He had created Adam himself, and called her Lilith. Adam and Lilith immediately began to fight. She said, 'I will not lie below,' and he said, 'I will not lie beneath you, but only on top. For you are fit only to be in the bottom position, while I am to be the superior one.' Lilith responded, 'We are equal to each other inasmuch as we were both created from the earth.' But they would not listen to one another. When Lilith saw this, she pronounced the Ineffable Name and flew away into the air.

Adam stood in prayer before his Creator: 'Sovereign of the universe!' he said, 'the woman you gave me has run away.' At once, the Holy One, blessed be He, sent these three angels to bring her back.

"Said the Holy One to Adam, 'If she agrees to come back, what is made is good. If not, she must permit one hundred of her children to die every day.' The angels left God and pursued Lilith, whom they overtook in the midst of the sea, in the mighty waters wherein the Egyptians were destined to drown. They told her God's word, but she did not wish to return."

But of course we're left with some bullshit high school drama where Adam "gets over" Lilith and then dates someone new and it's lovely and cutesy and there's none of the awful original barbarism that runs so deeply through the veins of everything Bible-related.

It's also interesting to note that Lilith's true companionship was with Lucifer. They mated once and stayed allied forever, and she produced their monstrous child, Baphomet. There's some evidence that Lilith was the spouse of Sammael, but it's always made clear that Lilith had a strong relationship with Lucifer (whether or not that relationship was loving, sexual, or platonic varies from text to text). But the point is that Lilith has no affiliation with Adam after she leaves Eden. How could she be angry with Adam "getting over her" when she clearly had other fish to fry?

Bastardization of mythology that is pretty clearly laid out is a real peeve of mine. You profess to know everything about your source material but then you fuck it up royally - and it's not even like you made it better or more interesting. Kate, you've actually made Lilith's story boring. How is that even possible?

I can't. I'm done. 500% done.

So where do we go from here?

Rating this book was incredibly difficult for me. I wanted to praise it, but letting go all the little things that made me want to cry in a corner felt like a betrayal of my past self, the one that slogged through Fallen and Torment with an aging grimace. I wanted to go back and cleave to that past self, make her bang the book against her forehead until she blacked out, then kill her with a starshot so she'd never have to live in a world where this book tops the NYT bestsellers list. What is it that is so appealing about this series? Is abuse of women, of mythology and of literature now suddenly the hot new thing we all have to indulge in?

I had to be honest. I had to pick up the slack and complain. I had to go ahead and tell the truth about a product I bought that I was not entirely happy with.

This book was far from the worst I've read. In fact, in some parts, I almost enjoyed it. I mean, I get it. I get why people want to read about a pretty man and a time travelling adventure. But this book is, for young readers, an education in mythology, love and friendships. It's a piece of media, and it's being fed to legions of sponge-like minds.

"It's just a book."

Don't. Don't say that, and then in the next breath wax on about how The Hunger Games is a new piece of culture that can teach our generation a lesson and change the world. You cannot pick and choose - you do not have the luxury. Media is media, and media is a juggernaut of pure moral power. There is nothing that wields a greater capacity to teach and/or morally maul an entire generation than media. Realize this.

We all know I'm going to read Rapture, anyway. It's in the stars. Frankly, after this rollercoaster ride, I'd rather drink a cup of cold sick, but I'm in too deep now. This was the third of the Great Crimes, and we all know I'm committing the fourth. I have waded too far into this pool of curdled literary blood to turn back.

I'd also kind of like to find out what happened to Trevor. Remember him?

Good. Cause no one else does.
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Reading Progress

September 17, 2010 – Shelved
April 1, 2011 – Shelved as: angels-and-demons
April 1, 2011 – Shelved as: ya
June 16, 2011 – Started Reading
June 19, 2011 –
page 1
0.24% "Okay. *cracks knuckles* LET'S DO THIS THING!"
June 19, 2011 –
page 6
1.43% "Enough with the Outcasts. They're boring. Stop trying to make the Outcasts happen. THEY'RE NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN."
June 19, 2011 –
page 19
4.52% "SOVIET RUSSIA? MY CALCULATIONS WERE CORRECT? Really, though, I'm interested. Let's see how this pans out."
June 19, 2011 –
page 21
5.0% "Prose is improving. Come on, Kate. Keep going..."
June 19, 2011 –
page 24
5.71% "Oh, we lost it. Darn. Better luck next time."
June 19, 2011 –
page 27
6.43% "Holy hell, I need a gallon of phlegm to pronounce that second-t-last line. Hufflepuff."
June 19, 2011 –
page 32
7.62% "Daniel, you stupid asshole. Congrats on murdering your 'true love' once again."
June 19, 2011 –
page 48
11.43% "Blah-de-blah. Blah-de-blah. Blah-de-blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Let's cut our sentences off every fifth word. Yeah, really helps to disengage our reader."
June 19, 2011 –
page 58
13.81% "Great. The douche is back."
June 19, 2011 –
page 64
15.24% "Why do you love him, Luce? Why? So far all you've commented on his how hot and perfect and gorgeous he LOOKS. You are incredibly shallow."
June 19, 2011 –
page 72
17.14% "Get a grip, Lucia. Geez. Yeah, Luce is the same shallow drip even in her past lives (though she did show a glimmer of something back at the ambulance. Didn't last long)."
June 19, 2011 –
page 73
17.38% ""bound to need him"? Daniel, get your big fat head out of your ass. Bound to need you. Yeah, because she's so incompetent that she couldn't possibly have already travelled through time to escape you, fixed up a couple of minced soldiers in the back of the WWI ambulance, and survived a Russian war zone. She's no Lara Croft, Daniel, but does it look like she's desperately in need of you? Get a grip."
June 23, 2011 –
page 77
18.33% "Blah-de-blah, lust at first sight...Daniel pervs on a thirteen-year-old...wait, what?"
June 23, 2011 –
page 88
20.95% "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Bill, I know exactly who you are, and you are absolutely not funny. In the slightest. A thousand interpretations for your character, and Ms. Kate chooses done-and-dusted snarky cretin. Al Pacino already had that down, so let's try something else."
June 23, 2011 –
page 96
22.86% "Okay, Luce. I see your plan. Torture yourself, then you'll find the key to everything! No, I don't get it either."
June 23, 2011 –
page 98
23.33% ""Follow your heart. It won't mislead you." BLECH!"
June 23, 2011 –
page 101
24.05% "Yes, okay, Luce is so totes cool and goth 'cause she wears Converse. Stop trying to be down with the kids, please. You're giving me a headache."
June 23, 2011 –
page 111
26.43% "Yay! Cam's back! The only remotely interesting and likable character, which is saying something, 'cause he's boring and unlikable has returned! Might this get interesting...?"
June 23, 2011 –
page 113
26.9% "Ah, no such luck. We're stuck with some more TWOOLOFF4EVA..."
June 23, 2011 –
page 114
27.14% "There it is. The quick fix. Some good ol' fashioned lust."
June 23, 2011 –
page 121
28.81% "I like Henrietta!"
June 23, 2011 –
page 126
30.0% "I don't recall Roland being black in either of the previous two books. Huh."
June 23, 2011 –
page 131
31.19% "STFU, Bill. Geez, we all know you're being a manipulative asshole, so give it up, will you? God."
June 26, 2011 –
page 139
33.1% "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Double take much."
June 26, 2011 –
page 142
33.81% "Insipid Luce/Lucinda. What's new?"
June 26, 2011 –
page 146
34.76% "'Trollop'! I fucking love the British language."
June 26, 2011 –
page 148
35.24% "Wait, what? Did you really just say that, Luce? What is THIS? Could it be...CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?"
June 26, 2011 –
page 150
35.71%
June 26, 2011 –
page 150
35.71% "Oh, great. A Daniel chapter. Let's skim, shall we?"
June 26, 2011 –
page 159
37.86% "So now the death of your true love is beautiful, Daniel. You're a creep, is what you are."
June 26, 2011 –
page 165
39.29% "Oh, great. Lulu. Pas de deux. This books is so pretentious."
June 26, 2011 –
page 167
39.76% "BLAAECH! Luce is envious of the sand Daniel walks on and the water bathes in. What's next? She's jealous of the air swirling around his balls?"
June 26, 2011 –
page 169
40.24% "Ignore that last status update. That was so vulgar. Anyway, at least now we're seeing something in their relationship other than kissing and fondling and gazing silently into each other's eyes. Also, how come we never see any inkling of this tattooing on Daniel's future self? Luce didn't even ask this question! It didn't even cross her mind! What the hell."
June 26, 2011 –
page 177
42.14% "Oh, shudder. Here, now I'm feeling mean, because this atmosphere is pretty cool and creepy. And what's weirder than going to your own funeral?"
June 26, 2011 –
page 183
43.57% ""SHE WILL SHOWER WHEN TIBET IS FREE!" Sorry, but that Friends reference was the first thing that entered my mind at this point."
June 26, 2011 –
page 185
44.05% "Okay, okay. Some more relationship development. A little talking. Very chaste. Not quite convinced, but getting there."
June 26, 2011 –
page 189
45.0% "Holy shit! Oh, holy shit! That was a shock. Honest to Hell! I didn't expect that. That was horrible. I almost sympathize. No, actually, I do. Holy shit. Oh, God. This book is giving me whiplash."
June 26, 2011 –
page 194
46.19% "Oh, shit. Please stop being so graphic. I don't need to know."
June 26, 2011 –
page 195
46.43% "Dare I say it? Dare I? I do. I'm warming to Cam. He's...less of a douchebag."
June 26, 2011 –
page 201
47.86% "A French chapter title? Are you serious? Come on. Let's try to appeal to a wider audience, please. It didn't impress us in 13 to Life, and it doesn't impress us here. Come on, now."
June 26, 2011 –
page 207
49.29% "Bill? What the hell are you doing? What is this? What Not to Wear? Pineapple Dance Studios?"
June 26, 2011 –
page 212
50.48% "CREEPY. UNETHICAL."
June 26, 2011 –
page 216
51.43% "Of course, Luce would be ZEE CHOZEN WUN to marry the King. Of course she would."
June 26, 2011 –
page 225
53.57% "There's that pesky emotion again! Look, they're both idiotic placecards, but this is still kind of...sad."
June 26, 2011 –
page 233
55.48% "Oh, God. Daniel, seriously. Sometimes you make me want to slap you into next week with a rotten pike, and sometimes you just make me sad. Overall, you're kind of pathetic."
June 26, 2011 –
page 238
56.67% "That same old tired mistake. When are people going to actually read Romeo and Juliet and stop calling it a "great love story"? Lauren Kate, come on! Read the damn thing! Stop being a sheep! Stop following the footsteps of Meyer and Adornetto! ARGH!"
June 26, 2011 –
page 242
57.62% "A beard? Oh, God!"
June 26, 2011 –
page 244
58.1% ""Unmannerly"? And you'll take this belittlement, won't you, Luce? Because he's hot. Back to square one, it seems."
June 26, 2011 –
page 246
58.57% "Could Luce please ACTUALLY follow in Anne Boleyn's footsteps? Heads shall roll! Also, I am in high doubt about casual references to Mars at this point in time. No one knew it was even an actual planet until Galileo secretly looked at it with a primitive telescope in 1609. Would that make it common knowledge by 1613? No."
June 26, 2011 –
page 255
60.71% "Yay, Cam! ....wait, what? Did I just say that? I think I did. Mainly because right now he's the only remotely interesting character in the entire cast."
June 26, 2011 –
page 258
61.43% "D'aww."
June 26, 2011 –
page 265
63.1% "I am so confused right now. Like, legit. I have no idea what's going on."
June 26, 2011 –
page 270
64.29% "Still have no idea what's going on."
June 26, 2011 –
page 273
65.0% "Oh, fuck! Out of the way, people! Projectile barf coming through! That is fucking disgusting."
June 26, 2011 –
page 275
65.48% "Ix what? Ix Cuat? How do you even say that? What happened to the L- pattern?"
June 26, 2011 –
page 284
67.62% "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 2012. Lol, Bill - why don't you go talk to the guys at Ubisoft? They'd give you a heads-up."
June 26, 2011 –
page 294
70.0% "Do it, Daniel! PLEASE THE RAIN GOD!"
June 26, 2011 –
page 305
72.62% "What the fuck is going on?"
June 26, 2011 –
page 308
73.33% "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?"
June 26, 2011 –
page 310
73.81% "Oh, here we go. Butchery coming up. For the love of fuck."
June 26, 2011 –
page 312
74.29% "NO. No, honey, that's NOT how Lilith's story goes. That's completely and utterly wrong. WRONG. God, how DARE she twist this? How dare she! I'm absolutely seething right now. Passion just lost a star from me. Thanks, Lauren Kate, for completely ruining the story of Lilith and filling the minds of thousands with bogus crap that, once again, demonizes one of the most important yet unknown biblical women."
June 26, 2011 –
page 315
75.0% "Of course Cam would be the reasonable one, being the male angel that he is. I am still so angry right now, I can't even...ARGH!"
June 26, 2011 –
page 318
75.71% "Too fucking right, Lilith. You leave with your pride, girl. FUCK THEM."
June 26, 2011 –
page 325
77.38% "Thin and pretty, thin and pretty. Always thin and pretty. Yeah, yeah. Beauty is the best thing ever. We get it."
June 26, 2011 –
page 327
77.86% "Yeah, yeah. Of course she would be the king's wife. And how many times have we heard that excuse? "He killed himself!" Whatever. Lu Xin killed him. Obviously. Put a pick-axe in her head, Luce, and save us all a coronary."
June 28, 2011 –
page 329
78.33% "Let's not condone cheating, please."
June 28, 2011 –
page 333
79.29% "OhmiGOD! What's this? What the...? Luce is being all...strong! She's totally taking initiative! Holy SHEET! This is like Mulan all over again..."
June 28, 2011 –
page 339
80.71% "Oh, yeah. Huh. Yay, I guess. *headshake* So much for that. Hurray, Luce. Daniel came to rescue you again. How wonderful for you."
June 28, 2011 –
page 345
82.14% "Yeah. Okay. Come on, Ms. Kate. Quit trying to make your characters to blameless all the time. They're already completely unrelatable as it is."
June 28, 2011 –
page 347
82.62% "DEATH. AGAIN. Luce, why not die and stay dead? That way all the world's problems would be solved."
June 28, 2011 –
page 351
83.57% "LUCE, FUCKING LISTEN TO BILL. IT WOULD SAVE YOU A LOT OF SHIT. Also, finally someone's thinking about the bigger picture here! Finally!"
June 28, 2011 –
page 354
84.29% "I can't believe you think THAT'S a revelation, Kate. I knew that from the moment we met both guys in the first book. I thought everyone was supposed to already realize that. Failure."
June 28, 2011 –
page 358
85.24% "Whoa! Creepy baby, much! Chuckie alert!"
June 28, 2011 –
page 365
86.9% "Donkor. Donkor. Lol."
June 28, 2011 –
page 366
87.14% "I'm pretty sure they didn't know what eardrums were in 3100 B.C. Fail."
June 28, 2011 –
page 368
87.62% "YES! IT'S BACK AGAIN! Them's fightin' words, Luce!"
June 29, 2011 –
page 377
89.76% "DO IT! JUST FUCKING DO IT!"
June 29, 2011 –
page 381
90.71% "Enough with the whooshing! Enough!"
June 29, 2011 –
page 384
91.43% "Yep. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I knew that was coming. I'm not impressed. Nor am I the slightest bit frightened. Or threatened. Or entertained."
June 29, 2011 –
page 389
92.62% "Disney villain. Again! "This is my plan, mwahahaha! I shall destroy the world!" Bo-ring."
June 29, 2011 –
page 392
93.33% "What? WHAT? How is that even going to work? What a stupid, stupid, evil master plan. I don't even understand how that will...what? What?"
June 29, 2011 –
page 397
94.52% "CLICHÉ! OH, GOD! THE CLICHÉ!"
June 29, 2011 –
page 408
97.14% "Again, incredibly confused. Clearly, Lauren Kate lied, and this book does not hold "all the answers". What the HELL is Luce? Really?"
June 29, 2011 –
page 415
98.81% "I still don't understand that eeeeeeevil master plan. I'm trying, truly I am. But I don't understand how that's going to work. It just makes absolutely no sense to me."
June 29, 2011 –
page 416
99.05%
June 29, 2011 –
page 416
99.05% "So. Many. Mythology. Fails. I don't even know where to start."
June 29, 2011 –
page 418
99.52% "Yes, Molly! That was awesome. You rock."
June 29, 2011 –
page 419
99.76% "This makes absolutely no sense."
June 29, 2011 –
page 420
100.0% "YES! FREEEEDOM! I'm finally done, thank fuck! Now, let's get started on that sparkling review..."
June 29, 2011 – Finished Reading
July 1, 2011 – Shelved as: could-have-been-worse
July 1, 2011 – Shelved as: love-stinks
July 1, 2011 – Shelved as: better-than-the-first-one
June 30, 2012 – Shelved as: sentimental-value

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