Chelsea ❤Peril Please❤ 's Reviews > Cracked Up to Be

Cracked Up to Be by Courtney Summers
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*I Don't Know How Many Stars*

Guys. I am so lost for words. This book made me feel things I just can't even...can't even. I liked it and I hated it. I loved it but wanted to punch it. I was obsessed with it and I wasn't obsessed with it. I couldn't put it down but when I did I felt a little bit lighter. I don't even know what to say, so how should I understand how to rate it?

Jake should know-well, everyone should know-there's no such thing as a decent human being. It's just an illusion.
And when it's gone, it's really gone.


I rate based on how I feel....and I just don't know what I feel. I keep (in my head) going from a 4 to a 3 to a 2 to a 3.5 to a 4. Because, like with all Courtney Summers novels, I felt ALL emotions...but they were different this time. I felt them more intensely. And not necessarily in a good way. One minute I was happy, the next I was sad and aching for more and I just wasn't able to put a pin on what exactly worked for me. And, in the end, I wanted more for this horribly fucked up character and I don't know I don't know I don't knooooow. I just still can't express how I feel.

I get caught up in outcomes. I convince myself they're truths. No one will notice how wrong you are if everything you do ends up right. The rest becomes incidental. So incidental that, after a while, you forget. Maybe you are perfect. Good. It must be true. Who can argue with results? You're not so wrong after all. So you buy into it and you go crazy maintaining it. Except it creeps up on you sometimes, that you're not right. Imperfect. Bad. So you snap your fingers and it goes away.
Until something you can't ignore happens and you see it all over yourself.


I felt like I was underneath a microscope. I felt as if my brain was pried open like a gaping wound for everyone to see, because I just couldn't put a mask on my displeasure or my happiness or my crying and it was like this raw, ripping open of my soul because poor Parker. Poor, poor Parker. I couldn't stand how she treated Jake but I understood it. I hated when she pushed him away or made him think she felt less about him than she really did....because that's what she wanted. She wanted people to hate her, she wanted to fade into the background. And it just hurt me so deeply when she would push people away....because 'that's how it had to be.'

I lean against the door. I should be sitting so we can have our weekly session where I pick the lint off my skirt and determinedly maintain my silence while she stares at me, except today I have to break that silence. And all for a boy, too. How degrading.

This book was a lot like Unteachable for me. I gave that book a 4 even though it depressed me 90% of the time because despite all that...I couldn't put it down, ya know? What does that say?

The writing. Wow, the writing. It always transports me to another world and I adore this author and I guess I should know a star rating but I can't put a finger on what feels right...and that's how I always choose. It just feels right when I think of a rating. When I click a star, I release all this built up energy because everything falls into place and fits so perfectly with my review. But when I think of clicking a star here, nothing fits. Not for this story.

"See you tomorrow," I call after her.
She stops, turns and gives me a hilariously quizzical look.
It could be worth it for this alone.
"What?"
"I'll see you tomorrow. For the semi-formal? You, me, Chris and Jake." I force a big smile at her. "I'm really looking forward to it."
I'm such a bitch, but Becky makes it so easy.


So...this wasn't a review. And I don't really care if anyone reads it or doesn't read it because I can't give people an honest answer. I loved a lot of parts. But I also hated a lot of parts, as well. I suppose I could break it down a little for you guys, just as an end note?

Loved:

-Jake
-Writing
-Story/plot in general
-The Humor
-Parker's snark towards everyone, it made me laugh a lot (She's such a bitch)

Liked:

-Parker
-How she put her walls up
-Her family
-The mystery behind why she is the way she is

Didn't love at all:

-Animal (That's all I'll say on that matter)
-Becky. Annoying bitch
-The conclusion. I really really really wanted more, but I understood it, as well
-How Jake was treated (It was sometimes funny, but other times it broke my heart)


So. You know. There you go.


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Reading Progress

February 18, 2015 – Shelved
February 23, 2015 – Started Reading
February 24, 2015 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-16 of 16 (16 new)

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Chelsea ❤Peril Please❤ Harriet wrote: "Awesome review, pea! I'm very excited to see what rating you will give this!!"

Thanks, Pea! I don't think I'm going to rate it, though :/ I don't know what is the most correct answer so eh


Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ OMG Chels!! WOW. I don't even know what to say except that you perfectly expressed your feelings about it, even if you don't know what you feel. You made me feel here. So. Wow. I'm just super worried now. And excited. But worried. Lol, I think that's the first time I see you without rating and that says it all, right? Excellent review because YES THIS IS REVIEW. Love ya <3


Chelsea ❤Peril Please❤ Alienortothemoon✭ wrote: "OMG Chels!! WOW. I don't even know what to say except that you perfectly expressed your feelings about it, even if you don't know what you feel. You made me feel here. So. Wow. I'm just super worri..."

Lmao thank you, Anna :D I know, I was so excited, too, but I think Some Girls Are just was sooooooo fucking crazy that I was expecting the same thing and this is just much more subdued. I am in love with all her books but this is definitely my least favorite-I mean, the others had a mean girls vibe and emotional peril and This is Not a Test had peril and it was a dystopian and it was crazy brutal. So I think I wanted the vibe of those two and this was simply a sad, under the radar story and it ripped my heart open in completely different ways....so yeah.

I hope you still like it lol

Love ya, too <3 *Muah*


Portia Lynn (itsportiasbooks) Interesting review... you genuinely seem incredibly torn. lol I have no clue whether or not I want to mark this one as to read.


Chelsea ❤Peril Please❤ Portia Lynn wrote: "Interesting review... you genuinely seem incredibly torn. lol I have no clue whether or not I want to mark this one as to read."

Dude...Right? Isn't that horrible??? I can't help ANYONE! lol It just depends on what you can handle...If you want more info lemme know ha


message 6: by Kathe (new)

Kathe L These kind of books are really the worst to rate! Great review, Chelsea! (I think it was a review haha)!


Chelsea ❤Peril Please❤ Kathe wrote: "These kind of books are really the worst to rate! Great review, Chelsea! (I think it was a review haha)!"

They really are, Kathe!! Thanks for your support lmao.

Oh, you HAVE TO READ Some Girls Are ...You HAVE to


message 8: by Kathe (new)

Kathe L Chelsea ❤Peril Please❤ wrote: "Kathe wrote: "These kind of books are really the worst to rate! Great review, Chelsea! (I think it was a review haha)!"

They really are, Kathe!! Thanks for your support lmao.

Oh, you HAVE TO RE..."


Yay, definitely! My to-read list just gets bigger and bigger lol


Chelsea ❤Peril Please❤ Kathe wrote: "Chelsea ❤Peril Please❤ wrote: "Kathe wrote: "These kind of books are really the worst to rate! Great review, Chelsea! (I think it was a review haha)!"

They really are, Kathe!! Thanks for your supp..."


I know you'll love it!! SO SO SO SO SOOOOOO good!


SueBee★bring me an alpha!★ Wonderful thoughts Chelsea. = DD That must be so difficult. If you had to do it again, would you have read it?


Chelsea ❤Peril Please❤ SueBee★bring me an alpha!★ wrote: "Wonderful thoughts Chelsea. = DD That must be so difficult. If you had to do it again, would you have read it?"

Agh....well that's actually a wonderful way to think about it!! I've been mulling over it for days and the truth is, I never once asked myself that question. But, thinking about it, yes. Yes, if I had to do it all over again I'd read it. Now, there was one thing I wish was different and I won't say what, but aside from that, I really love this author's writing and would do anything to read more of her words.

Though, next time I wouldn't read it so close to Some Girls Are. It was a very hard book to follow :D


Jen ♥Star-Crossed Book Blog♥ Wow! Amazing, honest review. I don't think I've ever seen you not rate a book! That's amazing that the book could make you feel so much but at the same point it sounds as though it was excruciatingly difficult at times. Wow, just wow.


SueBee★bring me an alpha!★ Chelsea ❤Peril Please❤ wrote: "SueBee★bring me an alpha!★ wrote: "Wonderful thoughts Chelsea. = DD That must be so difficult. If you had to do it again, would you have read it?"

Agh....well that's actually a wonderful way to t..."


Thanks dear. = ))


Chelsea ❤Peril Please❤ Jen wrote: "Wow! Amazing, honest review. I don't think I've ever seen you not rate a book! That's amazing that the book could make you feel so much but at the same point it sounds as though it was excruciat..."

Ahhhhh thanks, Girly ❤️ Yeah I haven't done this in forever !!! I just can't rate this fairly because I don't know how to feel 100%!! I loved it and I hated it...but this author just rocks. Her words transport me no matter what they say :) I'll take that bargain any day.


Jen ♥Star-Crossed Book Blog♥ That makes sense! If you're feelings are being pulled all over the map and you keep transitioning from love to hate then I can see how it would be impossible to pick a number out of 5. At least you already know that you love her other books and her writing. :D


Chelsea ❤Peril Please❤ Jen wrote: "That makes sense! If you're feelings are being pulled all over the map and you keep transitioning from love to hate then I can see how it would be impossible to pick a number out of 5. At least y..."

So true....her stories and characters are AMAZING!!! :D


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