David's Reviews > Me Talk Pretty One Day

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
Rate this book
Clear rating

's review
Aug 16, 2010

it was ok
bookshelves: low-calorie

I've been thinking a lot about this, and I have come to the conclusion that David Sedaris is one of the worst human beings in history, i.e., since human beings were first invented by an incompetent, Jerry Lewis-like god or by the inscrutable permutations of natural phenomena. This isn't a moral judgment. It's more like when someone tells you that you have spinach stuck in your teeth. It's both the mere reportage of a fact and a public service. Because, after all, you wouldn't want to walk around all day with spinach in your teeth, and you wouldn't want to spend your life mistakenly thinking that David Sedaris wasn't evil and unfunny.

Maybe I hate David Sedaris so much (abstractly; not with the visceral hatred I have for Mariah Carey) because I imagine all of these young straight couples in J. Crew worsted wool sweaters throwing back their heads like Mrs. Howell, laughing at his weak but fashionable humor. Maybe they're in their Toyota Highlanders driving out to Restoration Hardware to look at the brushed steel knobs and the faux-Victorian gewgaws. Have you been to Oak Brook? They probably live there and have heated floor tiles and towel warmers in their bathroom. The women all look like cut-rate Carolyn Bessette-Kennedys (before the plane crash), and the men look like the guy getting married in The Hangover.

David Sedaris is an entry-level gay for these people, right? They're all liberal, sure, but out in Oak Brook their gay contacts are limited to the service industry. The housewares clerk at Lord & Taylor, the hairdresser, or that one swishy waiter at Maggiano's who's stingy with the bread basket. You know, the usual A-Team of tanned men with shaved forearms and hyperreal hairdos.

What I am saying is that David Sedaris is a nice accessory. Sure, your grandparents might find some of his humor off-color or distasteful, but in the age of Sarah Silverman he's almost quaint. Anal sex (and its intimations) take on a Bombeckian glow in his hands. And that kerrunk, kerrunk sound you hear is Jean Genet rolling over in his grave (and masturbating on a pile of his own feces).

There are currently twenty-one people on my friends list who have rated this book. Only two have assigned it fewer than three stars. Defend yourselves, bourgeois scum. I mean that affectionately. You probably thought Bob Saget was funny on America's Funniest Home Videos too, didn't you?
128 likes · flag

Sign into Goodreads to see if any of your friends have read Me Talk Pretty One Day.
Sign In »

Comments (showing 1-50 of 148) (148 new)

karen SIGH.

David Ain't I the bee's knees?

karen you are. but i resent being accused of being a part of a shaved-arm bourgeoisie...

i have fur, i tells you!

David No, the shaved arms belong to the gay men. You shop at Restoration Hardware and have towel warmers in your bathroom. Don't get your social stereotypes confused.

Books Ring Mah Bell The women all look like cut-rate Carolyn Bessette-Kennedys (before the plane crash)


I love waffles with you!

message 6: by Jessica (new)

Jessica ah another Sedaris non-fan. Hater, rather. I don't hate him, just don't find him funny...at all. Years ago I did. in the beginning. but so much has been recycled and the style has not shifted. at all. and it is a style.

Books Ring Mah Bell Sedaris makes me laugh out loud.
And I don't wear J crew, drive a Highlander or shop at restoration hardware. I may look like a cut-rate Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, but certainly AFTER the plane crash. In other words, I am NOT bourgeois scum.
He makes me chuckle.

Bob Saget and America's Funniest Home Videos makes me want to masturbate on a pile of feces.

David Bob Saget and America's Funniest Home Videos makes me want to masturbate on a pile of feces.

You mean in lieu of applause?

message 9: by Kimley (new)

Kimley A friend of mine gave me a copy of Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim and I couldn't even finish the first chapter before I got too bored with it.

He always gave me crappy books. Another time he gave me The Lovely Bones. I'm no longer friends with him.

David What's making you so grumpy? This is just rank provocation on your part. I'm not an uncritical Sedaris fan by any means: corduroy and denim , but some of the pieces in "Me Talk Pretty .." are genuinely hilarious.

Of course, my ratings won't show up on your friend list because you keep shifting your identity, and I refuse to answer zipcode-based questions in order to establish my fitness to get on the new list. It smacks too much of Studio 54.


message 11: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant You can't hate a book this much and give it two stars. That's confusing. I'm confused.

message 12: by Ellen (last edited Aug 24, 2010 02:54PM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Ellen Yeah, so who made you the grand poobah of all book rankings?

Actually just trolled through your books, but agreed with most of your ratings, so fuck yah.

Sedaris is incredibly uneven. I'll like one, two or possibly three essays in one of his collections and could dump the rest. "Jesus Shaves" is not bad...

Ellen Good point, Paul - two stars means "it's okay."

Books Ring Mah Bell Bob Saget and America's Funniest Home Videos makes me want to masturbate on a pile of feces.

You mean in lieu of applause?

Duh. Of course!

(you should see what I do for a standing ovation!)

Jason Heh, heh.... he said "entry-level gay".... heh.
I'm more a knuckle-dragger than a knit-weave wearer. (I got more boor than bourgeois, as a grown-up American man oughta.) I laugh at Bob Saget, 'cause he's weak. Big tall big-head fucker, with skinny twig limbs, like some other schmucks I know. (Hint: it's you, Kowalski.) But them videos is funny and I will punch you right in the fucking dickhole if you say otherwise. And I'll get my kid to film it, so we can win and go to Disney, and punch Goofy in his goonies, too.

I first heard, rather than read, Sedaris--and the man has inimitable timing. "Santaland Diaries" still gets me in the holiday spirit: mean, hungover, laughing at others, feeling sorry for myself. "I Like Guys" captures perfectly and derisively the witless hurtfulness (in Sedaris' case, the homophobia) of youth and (perfectly, darkly) the way it nonetheless really, really fucking hurt. I still get his style, still appreciate it, 'though I think success robbed him of some of that earlier bite and pain.

Still, Amy is the far funnier Sedaris, but that's not really fair, 'cause she (and her Strangers with Candy) are perfect.

There. More fodder for your onanistic turd rites.

Ellen Yes, hearing him read makes a big difference - he has excellent timing and a perfectly snarky voice.

message 17: by D. (new)

D. Pow Fuck! We want to talk funny? Mike Reynolds post here is the single funniest thing I've read here in a long while. A punch in the dick hole? A punch in the dick hole? Kowalski as a smarter, slavic, Saget? Jesus Fucking Christ that is funny.

David Mean.

message 19: by Jason (last edited Aug 24, 2010 05:09PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Jason Mean?

Awww. I'm all sap. I heart you!

David I don't know...

Which one of us is the bunny with pinkeye? He might be getting murdered in that picture.

Jason I'm the bunny. And I often confuse love for aggression. Or maybe it's aggression I confuse for love? One of those.

message 22: by D. (new)

D. Pow Blessed are the peacemakers.

We used to have a pet rabbit. Our cat tried to attack it and that rabbit turned and thumped the living shit out of the cat with its hind legs. The cat never tried that again.

Not saying that's what will happen here.

Joanne Now that I have somewhat recovered from the scatalogical references, and the cursing,(have mercy on an old lady) I will say that I gave the silly book one star because that's all it deserved.

David Joanne, you are a wise woman. Wiser than I who gave this book an additional pity star.

This cat, meanwhile, loves his bunny. Sometimes he loves it too much.

Joanne Ah, I was hoping to avoid all mention of how much the cat loves his bunny. Young people today...

David You called me young. I think I love you. Run away with me...

Joanne I meant the cat.

David Tease.

message 29: by Petra X (new)

Petra X I loved 'entry-level gay', and 'weak but fashionable humor'. Your cleverly-written review means I now have justification for not reading Sedaris. Not that I ever wanted to. Also I will now observe my customers who buy Sedaris, usually more than one book at a time, much more closely, sneeringly even. Very good.

message 30: by D. (new)

D. Pow Joanne, you're not from Pasadena are you?

sorry for the potty mouth.

message 31: by JSou (new)

JSou I have a towel warmer in my bathroom.

message 32: by Kim (new)

Kim Thank you, David. I miss your reviews. :)

message 33: by Greg (new) - rated it 3 stars

Greg November 8th. Sedaris will be at our store. Shall we get you a personalized copy?

message 34: by D. (last edited Aug 25, 2010 11:36AM) (new)

D. Pow Greg, you should see if you can get Sedaris to read this review and then inscribe something to David. I think he'd be proud he has given sodomy a Bombeckian glow.

message 35: by brian (new)

brian   thanks davey-boy.
sedaris sucks the big one.

message 36: by Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (last edited Aug 25, 2010 11:42AM) (new)

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio This review was funny but Mike's first paragraph of his response in 15 was funnier.

Joanne No D, not from Pasadena, but close enough. No apology needed, if I'm going to be online I can't take the language personally. I think cursing can be very effective if used sparingly.

message 38: by Jessica (new)

Jessica Joanne is a very cool lady btw--

Ademption I've got nothing other than I think Bob Saget is funny outside of America's Funniest Homevideos.

On the balance, I occasionally smuggle outlet JCrew into Canada by initially wearing dingy clothes, which are ditched in a public restroom.

I've been to a Restoration Hardware, but no hardware store, posh or pragmatic, does anything for me.

Therefore, I find Sedaris funny, in this book and in Naked. The reprints and subsequent books aren't good.

Joanne Jessica, that is SO nice of you.

message 41: by Jessica (new)

Jessica I meant it.


message 42: by J (new) - rated it 2 stars

J I gave this two stars. It's such a relief not to be thought of as bourgeois scum.

David Yeah, J. You're a rebel... like me!

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio You wanna start a rebel club? All rebels are welcome as long as they strictly adhere to The Divine Book of Rebellious Standards.

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio I hope I live to see David go al-Qaeda on all of his most loathed corporate entities. I'll know when there's a series of attacks on Olive Gardens, J Crew outlets and Ralph Lauren stores in the Chicago tri-state area.

message 46: by David (last edited Aug 26, 2010 10:28AM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

David Add Wal-Mart to that list. Not because of its business practices, but because it's white trash. (Also: Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, American Eagle, Sears, T.G.I. Friday's, sports bars (general), et al.)

message 47: by Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (last edited Aug 26, 2010 10:26AM) (new)

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio 'Here's yer fuckin' breadsticks, bitches!' KA-BOOM!

Selena Based on this review, I like you. Just like based on this book, you don't like David Sedaris.

David Thanks, selena! I like people who like me! They have great taste.

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio David wrote: "Add Wal-Mart to that list. Not because of its business practices, but because it's white trash."

And then Target, too, because it's basically the same except it's trying to appeal to twentysomething hipster types. And it works. One of my friends in Austin began to really enjoy shopping at Target. I gave him shit for this often. Also, there's literally a target on the store. They're just askin' for it.

« previous 1 3
back to top