BWT (Belen)'s Reviews > The Lightning-Struck Heart

The Lightning-Struck Heart by T.J. Klune
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it was amazing
bookshelves: favorites, mm-favorites, gay-book-reviews, mm-fiction, audiobook, 2015, 2016, 2017, 5-stars-for-real
Recommended for: Humor/Feelz lovers
Read 13 times. Last read October 20, 2017 to October 22, 2017.

There aren't enough stars for this...

The Lightning-Struck Heart or, as it was originally titled, Unicorn Star Fucker, is a fantastic story of love, friendship, longing, loss, and hope.

Is this funny? Yes. Yes, it is. It's fucking hilarious. Straight up - I was obnoxiously laughing so hard and so loud for so long that I actually began to feel sorry for the people around me. Sorry they were being subjected to my overt hilarity and sorry they were not reading this magnificent and wondrous book so they too could laugh uproariously.

Does this book make your heart ache? In part. Yes, it will, a little. What can be more sad than wanting someone so desperately, but knowing you can't have him?

"...I’m sorry I made an oath. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. And I’m sorry that I can’t break it. But you have to believe me that it’s always been you. I promise. I promise." His voice cracked and my hands shook. "I promise, because when I look upon these stars, there is nothing I wish for more than you."

Is this just an OTT Fairy-tale on crack? No. No, it's not. Or, well, it's not only that. There are so many nuances to this. It has humor, heartache, and, most importantly, lessons to be learned about life, love and sometimes letting the things you love go even at the expense of your own heart and soul.

And, oh, the characters!

Wizard Apprentice Sam Haversford aka "Sam of Wilds" is maddening, fantastic and wonderful in all his blurty over-the-top goodness.

Sir Ryan Foxheart, is dashing and wonderful and...an asshole. But not an irredeemable asshole. Which is good.

The sidekick characters are utterly sublime! (Gary, the hornless gay unicorn, Tiggy, the half-giant, Sam's parents, Morgan and Randall the wizards, Kevin the dragon, Mama, Sam's fairy drag mother, the King, Pete, the guard...gods I could go on and on...) They all steal the spotlight every time they appear on page again and again.

I literally loved every single minute of this.

If you are a fan of Monty Python, Mel Brooks, Top Gun, and The Princess Bride - then you will love this book. You will want to have this book's babies.

If you are a fan of T.J. Klune's, and love his characters Derrick "Bear" McKenna (BOATK), Paul Auster (TMIR), and Sandy Stewart (TMIR) - then you will love this book. You will beg for more ( by the way, T.J....MORE PLEASE!!! ) Literally.

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Never fear, dear readers! You get an HEA, but it's also left open for more adventures. And, oh, how I want them. I literally want them so much. Literally.

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Belens Audio Book Review

I didn’t think I could love this story anymore, then I got the audio.

Michael Lesley takes this funny, makes your heart ache, cracktastic fairy tale and made it infinitely relatable to anyone who loves humor, sarcasm, sassiness, and even sadness.

This is fantastic in all senses of the word. Run, do not walk, to buy this audio!

HIGHLY, HIGHLY, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!

coll story bro

This review has been cross-posted at Gay Book Reviews

Audio Review Gay Book Reviews

Read: 07/2015, 08/2015, 09/2015 (2), 12/2015 (2), 02/2016, 08/2016, 11/2016, 01/2017, 03/2017
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Quotes BWT (Belen) Liked

T.J. Klune
“...I’m sorry I made an oath. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. And I’m sorry that I can’t break it. But you have to believe me that it’s always been you. I promise. I promise." His voice cracked and my hands shook. "I promise, because when I look upon these stars, there is nothing I wish for more than you.”
T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart

T.J. Klune
“You just have to believe,” I said as I flexed.
“I believe you should work out more if you’re going to keep doing that,” Gary said. “Because it’s making me feel sad for you.”
T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart

T.J. Klune
“How is that weird?” Dark the First asked incredulously. “Literally everyone does it. Literally.”
“I really wish you’d stop saying literally,” Dark the Second said. “I literally don’t think you understand what that word means.”
T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart

T.J. Klune
“You know what they say, once you go dragon, all the rest is just laggin’.”
“No one says that,” I said. “Absolutely no one.”
T.J. Klune, The Lightning-Struck Heart


Reading Progress

January 12, 2015 – Shelved
January 12, 2015 – Shelved as: to-read
July 1, 2015 – Started Reading
July 1, 2015 – Finished Reading
July 20, 2015 –
0.0% "In the immortal words of the Pointer Sisters: "I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it. I'm about to lose control and I think I like it.""
July 20, 2015 –
10.0% ""Captain Bad-Touch" with "the rapey-eyes"...hahahahahaha I am crying I have been laughing so hard!"
July 20, 2015 –
13.0% "Gosh, I’m beat. What a long night. Tiggy, take me to bed or lose me forever.\n A fantasy world that also quotes Top Gun? Well, great balls of fire!"
July 20, 2015 –
13.0% "“You just have to believe,” I said as I flexed. \n “I believe you should work out more if you’re going to keep doing that,” Gary said. “Because it’s making me feel sad for you.”"
July 20, 2015 –
14.0% "Pete covered his face with his hands and groaned. “I worry for the future of this kingdom.” \n I rolled my eyes. “I’m going to be a part of that future. I think we’ll be just fine.”\n “Because of your level of awareness?”\n “Exactly,” I said, smiling at him. \n He knew me so well. He muttered something that sounded like “we’re all doomed,” but I couldn’t be sure as I was too busy shutting my chamber doors."
July 20, 2015 –
14.0% "I totally relate to this high level of oblivousness. I once dated a professor for a year without knowing it. True story. I'm not that observant."
July 20, 2015 –
16.0% "“They do know we’re here, right?” Squat Wizard asked his fellow Darks. “Like, I’m not invisible? I didn’t accidentally cast an invisibility spell on myself while walking over?”\n “I can see you,” one of the Darks said. “You’re not invisible.” \n Squat Wizard looked relieved. “That would have been embarrassing. You know? Like barging in here and saying ‘I’m here to have revenge’ and not realizing I was invisible...""
July 20, 2015 –
22.0% "“You probably shouldn’t murder me,” I said out loud, even though I totally meant to keep that in my head. \n He laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.” \n Wow. That was reassuring.\n \n Prince Justin is a douchebag."
July 20, 2015 –
24.0% "Yep. I am totally going to stay up past my bedtime and keep reading. Screw being cognizant for work."
July 21, 2015 –
44.0% "Mama rolled her eyes. “I’m allowed to change my mind about people, Sam.”\n “You just think he’s hot,” I accused her, as if this was not a common consensus by everyone currently in the room. \n “Yeah,” Mama said. “He is. Like fire. I want him to burn me. All over my face.”\n “Feeling a little objectified now,” Ryan said.\n \n I'm so very sad I won't be able to pick this back up until lunchtime. :("
July 21, 2015 –
55.0% "“How is that weird?” Dark the First asked incredulously. “Literally everyone does it. Literally.”\n “I really wish you’d stop saying literally,” Dark the Second said. “I literally don’t think you understand what that word means.”"
July 21, 2015 –
57.0% "“I wish I was a bard so I could write a song for you,” I said, ignoring him completely. “It wouldn’t be like ‘Cheesy Dicks and Candlesticks.’” \n Morgan coughed loudly. “I don’t even want to know.”\n “I don’t think most of us do know,” Ryan said. “Or, at least, I don’t. Is it normal to be in a constant state of what the fuck with these three? I feel like that’s normal.”"
July 21, 2015 –
61.0% "“You seem flustered, wizard,” the dragon said, leaning close and breathing me in. “You getting turned-on?” \n I really, really wasn’t. “You said you wanted to fuck me after you wined and dined me!”\n “Is that what you want, pretty?” the dragon asked. “I’m a dragon, and maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll be dragon my balls across your face later.” \n So, that happened. “Um. That might have been too much.”"
July 21, 2015 –
62.0% ""You know what they say, once you go dragon, all the rest is just laggin’.”\n “No one says that,” I said. “Absolutely no one.”\n “Six people say it,” he insisted. “I made sure of it.”\n “That’s…isn’t that bestiality?”\n “We’re all just animals,” he said. “Wild, sexual, writhing animals.”\n “Yeah. No.”\n “You say that now. Just you wait.”\n “Gross.”"
July 21, 2015 –
69.0% "“Yeah. He’s a wizard’s apprentice, but he also has a creepy sense of romance.”\n “Sam,” Mom said, louder. “You get that from your father. Sometimes when I wake up at night, he’s watching me sleep.”\n “It’s true, son,” Dad said. “We’re kind of creepy. But we love with our whole creepy hearts.” \n I groaned. “If that was supposed to make me feel better, you failed.”"
July 21, 2015 –
72.0% ""...I’m sorry I made an oath. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. And I’m sorry that I can’t break it. But you have to believe me that it’s always been you. I promise. I promise.” His voice cracked and my hands shook. “I promise, because when I look upon these stars, there is nothing I wish for more than you.”"
July 21, 2015 –
86.0% "Oh my gods, Sam's dad is the best!!"
July 21, 2015 –
87.0% "“Truth time, boys,” Dad said. “Life is all about chances. It’s all about these little moments that add up to greatness. And there are times when you have to grab greatness by the balls and say, ‘Hey! Greatness! I’ve got your nuts and you can’t do a single godsdamn thing about it!’”"
July 21, 2015 –
88.0% "“I tried, Sam.”“I don’t understand.”\n “I asked Justin to release Ryan from his oath.”\n “Why?” I managed to choke out. \n “Because I wasn’t lying the day I told you that I thought of you as a son. And my heart breaks for you. Your pain will always be my pain, and it is sharp within me. I wanted something better for you, but I’ve failed. I’m so sorry, Sam.”\n \n Fuck...here come the tears."
July 21, 2015 –
90.0% "“None of you can say a godsdamn thing,” I said, making sure to glare at each of them in turn. “We are not going to ruin someone else’s wedding day just because he should be marrying me instead as I’m obviously way cooler and have good teeth, awesome cheekbones, and a sunny fucking disposition.”"
July 21, 2015 –
93.0% "“Oh shit,” one of the Darks said to another, and I recognized them as the ones that had been chased away by the fire geckos outside of Tarker Mills. “They finally got their act together.”\n “I told you they would,” the other said. “You owe me coin.”\n “Bullshit,” the first Dark said. “You literally said they would do it before the wedding.”\n “Oh my gods, would you stop saying literally?”"
July 21, 2015 – Shelved as: favorites
July 21, 2015 – Shelved as: mm-favorites
July 22, 2015 – Shelved as: gay-book-reviews
August 1, 2015 – Started Reading
August 1, 2015 – Finished Reading
September 1, 2015 – Started Reading
September 1, 2015 – Finished Reading
September 15, 2015 – Started Reading
September 15, 2015 – Finished Reading
September 17, 2015 –
0.0% "Time for a 4th re-read."
September 17, 2015 –
9.0% "Because that’s what awesome people do. They step the fuck up and make sure things go right. So I said, “Yaaay.”\n It came out sounding like I didn’t mean that at all.\n I took a different approach.\n I slow clapped.\n No one joined me. They obviously didn’t know how slow clapping worked. \n I cleared my throat. \n Tried again. “Hurrrraaaaaaay.” It was a little more believable.\n I slow clapped some more."
September 17, 2015 –
12.0% "“Whoa.”\n “What?”\n “You just said fuck.”\n “So?”\n “But, you’re a knight. You can’t say things like fuck. You’re supposed to hug children and rescue kittens and slay fantastical beasts. You can’t say fuck. It’s unbecoming of someone of your position.”\n “And you can?” He was back to being bemused. \n I grinned. “You bet your fucking ass I can. I’m a wizard.”"
September 17, 2015 –
13.0% "“No sex on the first date,” Morgan said. “Don’t give up all the goods. Save some of it for later. You have to keep him coming back somehow. The gods only know it won’t be from your sparkling personality alone.”\n “I feel like you not existing would be an okay thing for me right now,” I said."
September 17, 2015 –
13.0% "So I'm not going to add any more status updates for this. Because if I do, your feeds will be inundated with comments and funny lines this. And I've made the decision I'm not going to be that much of an asshole. At least not today."
September 23, 2015 – Shelved as: mm-fiction
December 11, 2015 – Started Reading
December 11, 2015 – Shelved as: audiobook
December 11, 2015 –
0.0% "Audio choice for today. Well, really the weekend. There's nearly 20 hours of audio narration. Woo hoo!"
December 12, 2015 – Finished Reading
December 26, 2015 – Started Reading
December 26, 2015 – Finished Reading
January 2, 2016 – Shelved as: 2015
February 1, 2016 – Started Reading
February 1, 2016 – Finished Reading
August 1, 2016 – Started Reading
August 1, 2016 – Finished Reading
January 1, 2017 – Started Reading
January 1, 2017 – Finished Reading
March 13, 2017 – Started Reading
March 13, 2017 – Shelved as: 2016
March 13, 2017 – Shelved as: 2017
March 14, 2017 – Finished Reading
April 1, 2017 – Started Reading
April 1, 2017 – Finished Reading
May 21, 2017 – Shelved as: 5-stars-for-real
June 1, 2017 – Started Reading
June 1, 2017 – Finished Reading
October 20, 2017 – Started Reading
October 20, 2017 –
0.0% "Audio choice for today. 🎧📚😍"
October 20, 2017 –
3.0% "Whenever I'm in a down mood, this story and narration can make me feel better. #AudiobookFavorites"
October 22, 2017 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-19 of 19 (19 new)

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☆ Todd Heh, the Ryan fan club meetings. And muffins. That shit's too funny. (I figure that's roughly where you're at.) : )


BWT (Belen) When Gary figures out Sam's been secretly attending the Ryan fan club meetings...pure comic genius gold.


Renée I need book 2 now. Literally.


BWT (Belen) Renee wrote: "I need book 2 now. Literally."

For reals.


☆ Todd Renee wrote: "I need book 2 now. Literally."

Yesterday, if not the day before. Literally. ;- )


BWT (Belen) Gods, I loved this book!!


☆ Todd BWT (Belen) wrote: "Gods, I loved this book!!"

Mama wanting to hire Ryan as one of her whores. heh


message 8: by BWT (Belen) (last edited Jul 22, 2015 11:33AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

BWT (Belen) ☆ Todd wrote: "BWT (Belen) wrote: "Gods, I loved this book!!"

Mama wanting to hire Ryan as one of her whores. heh"


That's another thing that no one seems to be talking about...(view spoiler)

I know we all bring up the humor, but it had some pretty deep social commentary.


☆ Todd BWT (Belen) wrote: "☆ Todd wrote: "BWT (Belen) wrote: "Gods, I loved this book!!"

Mama wanting to hire Ryan as one of her whores. heh"

That's another thing that no one seems to be talking about...that Ryan whored h..."


Shhh, *spoilers*... ;- )

(But, yeah, essentially selling a piece of your soul for what you want.)

And I *loved* how Mama got people to say what they would NEVER normally admit to. heh


BWT (Belen) The corn scene - all those kernals of trith. Oh, so funny!!


☆ Todd BWT (Belen) wrote: "The corn scene - all those kernals of trith. Oh, so funny!!"

And my jaw dropped when Kevin actually (view spoiler)

But I LOVED that. Good riddance.


BWT (Belen) That's gonna be a bitch to pass.

Hahahahahahaha


☆ Todd BWT (Belen) wrote: "That's gonna be a bitch to pass.

Hahahahahahaha"


*BURP* "Tastes like CORN!" heh


message 14: by Tara♥ {MindforBooks} (last edited Jul 24, 2015 04:03AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Tara♥ {MindforBooks} We have literally agreed on everything in this book. That is literally the coolest thing ever!! xoxo


BWT (Belen) It literally is!


message 16: by ☆ Todd (last edited Jul 24, 2015 03:34PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

☆ Todd BWT (Belen) wrote: "It literally is!"

And I *literally* just though, "God, I wish I had book 2 in my hands right this literal minute. Gary needs his damn horn back, like now. I'm sure Kevin has LOTS of uses already lined up for that." heh


Tara♥ {MindforBooks} ☆ Todd wrote: "BWT (Belen) wrote: "It literally is!"

And I *literally* just though, "God, I wish I had book 2 in my hands right this literal minute. Gary needs his damn horn back, like now. I'm sure Kevin has ..."


Oh goodness I just had a Kevin and Gary flashback. I literally need all the brain bleach!! :D


☆ Todd FUCK ME. TJ just IM'd me on Facebook the link to his new 50'ish page Tina DeSilva story from The Lightning Struck Heart! *tingles*

Tales From Verania: The Tragic Life of Lady Tina DeSilva

http://tjklunebooks.blogspot.com/2015...


BWT (Belen) ☆ Todd wrote: "FUCK ME. TJ just IM'd me on Facebook the link to his new 50'ish page Tina DeSilva story from The Lightning Struck Heart! *tingles*

Tales From Verania: The Tragic Life of Lady Tina DeSilva

http:..."


I'm already in the middle of it - SHE IS SO EVIL.


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