Arto Bendiken's Reviews > No More Mr. Nice Guy

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover
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really liked it
bookshelves: masculine-matters, nonfiction

All too many young (and not so young) Western men really and truly ought to read this book. This transcends self-help: it is self-debugging in the form of having a giant mirror of truth held up to your psyche while you re-evaluate your life and try to keep the cognitive dissonance at bay.

Having been raised as a second-generation Nice Guy in a hyperfeminist society, I intimately recognize and acknowledge a number of the symptoms of Nice Guy Syndrome as laid out by Glover. Fortuitously, this book wasn't my first antidote, though it certainly proved the most systematic treatment and root cause analysis that I've encountered thus far on the matter—which makes it easy to forgive its flaws.

For a man for whom this might be their first exposure to "the world that has been pulled over your eyes", I'd advise to read the book slowly. Stretch it out over a month if needed. I had significant previous exposure to most of Glover's thesis, yet it took a couple of weeks after finishing the book to fully accept and integrate some of it when reviewing my highlighted passages for this review; a definite token of cognitive dissonance.

While Glover never mentions the connection in the book, his thesis also helped me connect certain dots on what turn out to be the surprisingly modern (or post-modern, if you will) and recent origins of nerddom itself. A topic to be taken up in an essay, if I should ever make the time for it. As Glover points out, I do have a few other miscellaneous projects to finish first.

There are many, many men I might recommend this book to, but ultimately it isn't possible to rationally discuss this ego-destroying narrative with anyone who hasn't yet privately dealt with their deep-seated, unquestioned emotional framework in this regard. Fish can't see the water they swim in, and neither do we think to question too much of our upbringing.

Yes, you could show someone the door, but he's the one who has to walk through it; and he's unlikely to do so until it's his last option. So, this shall remain a book to be discovered, not recommended. Thankfully we do have this thing called the Internet to facilitate such happy eventualities.

Two irritants in my reading of the book were its overall repetitiveness—perhaps a fifth of the material could just be cut out, if read in one sitting—and the number of formatting issues in the Kindle edition; I flagged 23 content errors in total.

Note to self: reread this book in another year's time to re-evalute matters.
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Reading Progress

October 21, 2014 – Shelved
October 21, 2014 – Shelved as: to-read
February 6, 2015 – Started Reading
February 8, 2015 – Shelved as: masculine-matters
February 8, 2015 – Shelved as: nonfiction
February 8, 2015 – Finished Reading

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