Shannon's Reviews > Entice

Entice by Carrie Jones
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I can't stand this series. I want to punch myself in the face for continuing on and checking these out from the library. That's one thing though; I haven't spent a single dime on these books. Yes, I've spent a few hours reading them, but the investment has been small. I'd advise the same for any others out there who are curious about this series - check them out from the library, because then at least you'll hate yourself a little less when you've finished reading them and realize you've only wasted time and not money.

This whole series is based upon the selfishness of Zara White. Her boyfriend died in the last book and so in this one she stops at nothing to retrieve him from Valhalla; the place where fallen warriors go. Or, whatever. The mythology is pretty much thrown together however Jones feels is the most angsty. No matter at what cost, Zara is going to get back the boy she only barely knows. Who cares if someone dies along the way? Or that people get used and abused to achieve her goals? They knew what they were getting into, right? Damn the consequences - Zara is getting her boyfriend back.

Jones's writing is terrible. With the first book she decided to start each chapter with descriptions of phobias, and in this one she chooses to start each chapter with something much worse. She uses Facebook statuses, tweets, news channel blurbs, and blog posts as a way to start each chapter. You might think, hey, this makes the book relevant to the teens of today! But no, it mostly screams, "hey look, I'm hip! I know what's cool! I'm with it!" But really, it's just a sad plot device that doesn't add anything to the story, and most of the time all it does is recap what happened in the previous chapter. The chapters are 8-10 pages at most and recaps are just not necessary. Even a teen with ADHD could follow the storyline without a recap, so it just feels like page-filler.

She also tends to describe things that just don't make sense or work for the scene. Telling me that your character lifts his leg and plays with his sock is dumb. Especially when he's doing this for a whole conversation, standing on one leg. It doesn't add anything, and it is awkward and useless. "Soft, mushy-looking eyes" are gross. Describing your "heart whooshing into your spleen" and then your "heart falling out along with your stomach" doesn't make anatomical sense. Saying "his face is a broken branch" isn't a descriptor, and even as a simile it doesn't work. Jones's writing is frustrating, amateurish, and an affront to English teachers everywhere. The fact that her characters "squee" should have clued me into the fact that this was not a work I should take seriously. But still, it makes me angry that a book like this was published.

Also, I do not need to know how everything and everyone smells. I get it. Your character has enhanced senses. Please, I don't need to know that this girl smells like coconuts, that boy smells like pine, and pixies smell like mushrooms and Dove soap. THIS DOESN'T ADD ANYTHING TO THE STORY. It's just dumb and annoying, and strikes me as filler. Oh, you can't think of anything interesting to talk about? Then describe how every person in the room smells, that'll surely add something to the story. Uh huh.

Even if I could get past the annoyances I had with her writing, Jones still felt the need to steep this novel is EXTREME TEEN MELODRAMA. Case in point:
"Something in my face must show my fear, because he throws up his hand and rails off the side of the couch. He staggers toward me before falling on his knees in front of me."

Someone get that boy a fainting couch, STAT. Seriously though, that's how most of the book read; overreaction and melodramatic teen angst are the bread and butter of this story.

But then, even when parts are supposed to be intense, I found myself laughing. This was probably not the intended effect. Characters died and I couldn't help chuckling. I'm sure this wasn't what Jones was going for, but there's just no tension during these scenes. I'm not emotionally attached to any of the characters and I found it funny when they were killed. Yeah, probably not how I was supposed to feel, but I can't help that.

To be blunt: this book sucked. The first book held promise, the second book was stupid, and this last book isn't worth the paper it's printed on. I don't care about a single character, the plot is ridiculous, and the writing is on par with a teen's livejournal. Seriously, it's barely worth the trouble of checking it out from the library. Do yourself a favor and just stay away.

My reviews of Need (Need, #1) and Captivate (Need, #2).
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Reading Progress

June 12, 2010 – Shelved
March 8, 2011 – Started Reading
March 8, 2011 –
page 0
0.0% "Cuz I'm a jerk and I don't do what I'm supposed to."
March 8, 2011 –
page 7
2.65% "Please don't tell me that every chapter is going to start with a blurb from the local news station highlighting what happened in the previous chapter. This is beyond stupid."
March 8, 2011 –
page 9
3.41% "This girl smells like coconuts, that girl smells like lavender. This boy smells like pine, that boy smells like Dove soap and mushrooms. I get it. You have a heightened sense of smell. I don't need to know what every person in the fucking room smells like."
March 9, 2011 –
page 23
8.71% "It hasn't been the WWF since 2002."
March 9, 2011 –
page 29
10.98% "Ok, now she's put a facebook status at the beginning of this chapter, in place of the news blurb. Why, oh why."
March 9, 2011 –
page 31
11.74% ""My heart whooshes into my spleen." Oh really? You might want to have a doctor check that out."
March 9, 2011 –
page 38
14.39% ""The thought of it makes me squee." No no no. Please don't use this word in a published book."
March 9, 2011 –
page 71
26.89% ""His eyes are soft, mushy looking, but strong." Ewwww ... mushy eyes? Not the descriptor I would have gone with."
March 9, 2011 –
page 74
28.03% "So we've had chapters that started with news channel blurbs, a facebook status, a blog post, and now a tweet INCLUDING a hashtag. This is some high quality literature here."
March 9, 2011 –
page 83
31.44% "So, someone just got eaten by a giant wolf. This was both strangely anti-climatic and comical. Samuel L. Jackson getting eaten by the shark in Deep Blue Sea comical."
March 9, 2011 –
page 96
36.36% "She keeps having her characters do things that have no baring on the plot and nothing to do with the scene. "He lifts his leg up, bends it at the knee, and starts fiddling with his sock. It's argyle, a grandpa kind of sock, and looks soft, like cashmere ... He lets go of his sock and stands on two feet again." So, he held his sock while balancing on one leg and carried on a conversation? Awkward AND pointless."
March 9, 2011 –
page 103
39.02% "Argh. She's squeeing again. And with that, I'm done for the night."
March 10, 2011 –
page 140
53.03% ""'You still do not trust me?' His face is a broken branch." Um, no. I see what you were going for, but that does not work. You could say his face is like a broken branch, and even though that would still be strange, it would make more sense."
March 10, 2011 –
page 175
66.29% ""Something in my face must show my fear, because he throws his hand and rails off the side of the couch. He staggers toward me before falling on his knees in front of me." That's not melodramatic or anything."
March 10, 2011 –
page 187
70.83% ""My heart falls out along with my stomach." Yeah, see, I said you should go see a doctor! Stuff should not be falling out."
March 10, 2011 –
page 190
71.97% "Daaaang, she's just killing people left and right! But how come the way they die has to be so crazily dramatic to the point of absurdity? I probably shouldn't laugh at these parts, but there just isn't any tension or emotion in any of these scenes. And these people are dying so she can find her boyfriend, whom she's known for all of, what, a few months? This is just ... just ... dumb."
March 12, 2011 –
page 266
100% "What a load of sappy melodramatic teen horsepucky. I am ashamed that I spent even the few hours it took to read this book. Horrible characters + terrible writing + absurd plot = shittiest book I read in 2011."
March 12, 2011 – Finished Reading

Comments (showing 1-50 of 59) (59 new)

message 1: by Donna (new)

Donna Interesting how we tend to base our reading only on what we like when what we don't like is always so much more profound.

Shannon I don't think it's about being more "profound," it's just easier to write about and discuss something that elicited an emotional response, whether good or bad.

Dinjolina I love you :D

Shannon : )

message 5: by Nan (new)

Nan OK. Now I know to avoid this one. I liked the first book well enough, but I wasn't certain if I wanted to visit the sequels. I think I'll give them a pass now.

I just have to add, since your quote from the text reminded me, I'm getting really sick of the trend of writing YA novels in the present tense. Initially, I hated the trend, then I accepted it, and now I'm back to hating it. Most of the time, it doesn't work well and merely makes the writing look amateurish. Writer that want to use present tense need to read Hemingway. It's not that he wrote in that tense, but he was a master at saying so much in very short sentences. If they want that sense of "now" that present tense gives, they need to be careful to avoid excessive description.

Shannon I can't say I hate present tense - but I hate when the writing sucks. I understand what you mean though, it's a hard tense to write in and most authors should just steer clear of it.

Laura How cruel. There isn't anything relevant in your review. Its how you 'think' the characters acted or how the author wrote this novel. You have almost no evedance to back this up. Really. When Zara wants to rescue Nick, its becasue HE"S ALIVE! If people DIE then there's no way to get them back. But Nick is alive, so WHY NOT? She isn't selffish. She wants to get back the person that is ver ywell ALIVE instead. If a character dies, do yo uthink she's supposed to SOMEHOW find a way to bring him back? That's how your explaining it! I would stop writing reveiws if all you're going to do is slam the book. It gives a bad outlook on the amazing book, and is really mean.

message 8: by Shannon (last edited Mar 28, 2011 07:46PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Shannon Blah blah blah, go troll around somewhere else, Laura. And you shouldn't write comments if you're just gonna slam the reviewer.

Laura That's a retorical answer. If I were to answer with "well then you still shouldn't slam the book in the reveiw." I would be acting like im two years old.

message 10: by Nan (new)

Nan Laura, you misspelled rhetorical.

As for the comments you've left for The Holy Terror, they are trollish. Obviously, the two of you disagree about the book. That's fine. Both of you can and should write reviews of it, then. However, you're attacking the Terror because she wrote a negative review. That's part of what happens here at goodreads. If someone doesn't like a book, that person will write a review explaining why. If the Terror had kept her opinion to herself, the only person she'd be helping is the author. Truthfully, the author should know that some readers are having strong negative reactions to the book, so we could say that the Terror is doing her a favor.

As for the content of the Terror's review, she pointed out at least two things that bothered her about the book. One problem was the writing style, including the author's habit of torturing metaphors. The other problem is the unrealistic nature of the protagonist's attachment to her boyfriend. In the Terror's opinion, the girl had only known the boy for a short time, and (if I've read this correctly) she kills people in order to retrieve him from Valhalla. I don't know if he was dead or not--I'll leave that to you two to argue, but Valhalla is supposed to be a Paradise for warriors. I don't know what Jones had to say about Valhalla, but pulling a person out of it and bringing him back to the living world seems like the ultimate act of selfishness.

Shannon Ha, Nan, you spent way more time and effort on her than you should have, but thanks.

The only thing I should say is Zara doesn't actually kill people - she just gets them killed. Basically her and her friends are on this quest to retrieve Zara's boyfriend. People who decide to help her end up dying. And not the "oh, they're not really dead," kind of dying, one gets eaten whole by a giant wolf, and the other gets blown to smithereens. Zara's whole reasoning is they knew what they were getting into when they signed up to help her. And you are right, pulling him out of Valhalla is the ultimate act of selfishness. She goes on and on about how her friends want him more than Odin and the rest of the warriors do. Nick is Zara's fallen warrior and he's their leader and they like, need him. It's all just so ... stupid.

I've tried to keep spoilers out of my review and try to focus mostly on the technical problems I had with the book. If I actually got into the ridiculous "plot," my review would probably be three times longer.

This is not a good book and it's definitely not an "amazing" one. I understand some people may like this series but I DO NOT. It doesn't make my opinion any less valid, and calling me cruel and mean is acting like a two-year-old.

And to say my review is irrelevant because I expressed my feelings on how I thought the characters acted or on the quality of the author's writing ... is just ... wow. What exactly do you think a review is for?

I'm not even going to get into your "retorical" comment.

I don't need to justify myself any further to you, Laura. You're probably a teenager and think this book is like, OMG, the bestest book EVER!1!!! That's great, you enjoyed it, leave it at that. You are NOT going to change my opinion, and you're only making yourself look like a troll.

Laura Whatever

Shannon Lol. Nice. Thank you for validating my thoughts.

message 14: by Kogiopsis (last edited May 08, 2011 04:30PM) (new)

Kogiopsis Mushrooms and Dove soap?
Excuse me while I quell my gag reflex.

Nope, can't quell it anymore. I'll be over there with my barf bag.

I remember hating the first book of this series with the heat of a star and I have to say, your review was more entertaining than it was.

message 15: by Sophia (last edited Jun 27, 2011 08:24PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Sophia Dear Terror:
THANK YOU. Your review was just the thing I needed after crying about the decline in good young adult books. I totally agree.

Shannon No, thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way about these books. :)

Dinjolina I had no idea I ever commented on this...
Btw...Ya oh man...what a decline it is.
I remember reading things like the Roswell high where 10 books were almost not enough. Now? 2 and I have the urge to scream.

Shannon Dinjolina wrote: "I had no idea I ever commented on this..."

You forgot that you loved me? (T_T)

Dinjolina Well,gosh. Then it seems I am fickle even thou I wrote on Wendies rew that I am not. Pffft. Can we try to fall in love again? Maybe you can give me a reference to a good rew of yours to seduce me :)

Shannon Hmm. Some of my most liked reviews are negative ones for books you liked ... so ...

Dinjolina Really? Liked recently?
Because I gave big ratings to stuff I had on amazon and read...who knows when! Also, I have no problem with you not liking something I do. It makes me crazy when people get angry at other readers when disagreeing. So what? If your rews are witty and fun and I can see your point? Sure, give them here :)

message 22: by Shannon (last edited Jun 27, 2011 09:25PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Shannon Well, the two with the most votes are my reviews for Darkfever and Firelight.

message 23: by [deleted user] (new)

Teen horseplucky!!! Ahahahahahahaha! How did I miss that status update?

Rockin review mein liebschen.

Shannon Ha! Thanks! I think I read this before we were friends ... so that's probably how you missed it!

message 25: by AH (new)

AH I keep passing by these at the library thinking that maybe I should continue reading the series, but then I remember the train wreck that was Need. Great review.

Thougthsforthinking thank God i'm not the only one i love you

message 27: by Leah (new)

Leah Huh. Officially never going to be on my TBR list.

Tabitha (Pabkins) Oh goodness haha hate yourself a little less for only the wasted time not money huh? sounds bad!

message 29: by [deleted user] (new)

AMEN. Great review by the way :)

Shannon Thanks!


; )

Steph Sinclair This series is so bad and for some reason I like it. Lol. But that's because they are so comical to me. I laugh so hard everytime I read a "Need" book. It's kinda like the Jenna Black's series, "Fairywalker." I'm not sure if they are meant to be funny, but at least I'm being entertained, right? Lol.

Shannon Aww, I liked Black's series for the most part. That might be because I hated the Morgan Kingsley one so much that anything else she writes seems better by comparison.

I definitely get you on the whole "it's so bad it's hilarious" thing though. I think if I had gone into it expecting a joke I wouldn't have been so angry.

Steph Sinclair I actually thought the first book was a joke. I almost stopped reading it. There's a part where Zara is trying to find out more about Astly and one of her friends suggests they google it. I was like, "Huh? Really?" I guess google holds all the answers. Lol. From there I just found the characters so hilarious that I must read it!

As for Jenna Black's series, it's hilarious as well. The dialog is golden. I only wrote a review for the second book, which I took the most issue with.

message 34: by Shannon (last edited Oct 20, 2011 08:45PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Shannon Stephanie wrote: "There's a part where Zara is trying to find out more about Astly and one of her friends suggests they google it. I was like, "Huh? Really?" I guess google holds all the answers."

Lol, that's in my review of the first book as well.

As for the Black series ... hmm. I actually thought the second book was the best out of the three.

: \

Steph Sinclair Really? Step into my

Shannon Oh, I saw your review. I have one as well. :p

Steph Sinclair I do like the Erlking. Him and Kimber keep me reading that series. Book three was actually much better for me.

Shannon Ah, The Erlking. I wish he had his own series.

Did you know the third one is the last? That's the only reason I gave it a lower rating than the second one. She wrapped everything up too neatly and quickly for me.

Steph Sinclair What?! It was the last one? I thought there was another one. Wow. That just completely changes my view of that book.

Shannon Yup. I did a search and found this for you. And the other series she was talking about was picked up, says her website.

"10/13/2011 I signed a new three-book deal with Tor Teen for a dystopian YA series! The first book of the series, tentatively titled Replica, is scheduled for release in 2013."

Steph Sinclair I'm really shocked right now. That "ending" didn't even seem like an ending. Hmmm...I might just have to write a review on that book now. -_-

And now she is going to do dystopian...interesting. That genre is being milked.

Shannon Stephanie wrote: "And now she is going to do dystopian...interesting. That genre is being milked."

It is! I'm glad I don't really like it, because I'd be pissed at the recent influx.

Black seems to like writing short finite series. To this date she hasn't written one longer than 5 books. I guess it's kind of nice that she likes ending things, but I don't know if she's really adept at it?

Steph Sinclair I actually love dystopians, but it's getting a bit rediculous. Thanks, Hunger Games, thanks.

And she is horrible at it. I mean, look at me. I couldn't even tell the series had ended. Lol.

Veronica rossy I feel the same way, the holy terror. In my opinion, Zara was obssessing wayyyy to much about Nick's "death". I just wanted to smack the sh!t out of her...

message 45: by Kyra (new) - rated it 2 stars

Kyra Richter Excellent review!! I bought the first book because it caught my attention. When not sure about a book, I pick pages and see if they entice me. The very first chapter did that, the phobia naming seemed pretty unique. Then I kept reading just because I wanted to know the end, but, SO true, by book three the errors were noticeable. How come you can see the socks/hose getting sloppy at the ankles if someone is wearing BOOTS? They car pooled in a rental but leaned against Grandma's car? And yes, as I was discussing the books with a friend, I mentioned the same thing: SQUEE??? WTF?
Also the same, the obsession with the boy she barely knows did not strike me as love, but total self absorption....I was VERY disappointed.

message 46: by Kyra (new) - rated it 2 stars

Kyra Richter You know what is sad though? That more people gave it 4 and 5 stars than all the people who gave it 3 and less put together. SAD reflection of what "writers" can get away with. This book was about the most poorly written book I have ever seen.

message 47: by Kenya (new)

Kenya Wright and the covers are so hot... but I guess they were hiding a bad book!

message 48: by eliza (new) - added it

eliza rich Laura- go screw ur self. The holy terrors review was dead on. This book suck balls. No need to attack the reviewer especially if she is right and ur not

Shannon eliza wrote: "Laura- go screw ur self. The holy terrors review was dead on. This book suck balls. No need to attack the reviewer especially if she is right and ur not"

Thanks, eliza, but I don't think she's coming back. : \

message 50: by T.K. (new) - added it

T.K. " I can smell Issie and Devyn in there. Issie smells like butterflies and vanilla and yellow daffodils." - Captivate


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