Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘'s Reviews > Cracked

Cracked by Eliza Crewe
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it was amazing
bookshelves: likeable-mc, made-me-laugh, young-adult, pnr-uf

5 I'm more the find-him-first-and-kick-his-ass type stars



Hey, Meda!!


Good God, children. Can we focus on what's important? Me.

Oh. My. That girl. That girl. She was amazing. No need to remind that female leads and me are always on very thin ice : perhaps I'm sometimes too harsh with them but come on, that's kind of sick how girls are portrayed in almost all young-adults books. When they aren't Mary Sue, they have this ridiculous habit to melt on the floor at the first sign of hot boys - as f*cking annoying as it is, it became so frequent that I almost expect this when I begin a new book. How many, I'm asking, how many so called kick-ass heroines prove to be gentle puppies after the first half of their story? Too much.

A small girl, still young enough to suffer the indignity of pigtails, holds out a dead golfish in her cupped hand.
Thanks, but I just ate.
"My fish died," she lisps around missing teeth. She looks at me expectantly.
Ah - catastrophe has struck and she's in search of an adult to handle it. (...) Fortunately, I know just how to handle this one.
"Flush it down the toilet."
(...)
What? It's a fish.


While Meda never disappoints. Her sarcastic and selfish way of thinking is so damn refreshing and funny - You can't not enjoy that book. Seriously. I'm totally fangirling here : she says sentences we almost always said thought once and even if she's pretty insensible in the major part of that book, I adored her. Be my friend, Meda. I could totally be useful - you know, the bear catchs the slower thing.

She kinda reminds me of Dante from The Collector - I could totally copy/paste his description - Let's see what I wrote about him :

- perfectly selfish, conceited, smart-ass, liar, and he completely doesn't care - but then, totally - what others may think or feel.

That's my Meda. This description fully suits her : she's a daemon (okay, Halfling) who eats souls and uses people when she needs to. Well, she decided to kill bad guys only, but not because she's a kind person, no. I'll let you discover why.

One brightly coloured announcement contains a collection of smiling, gap-toothed children with the words "Be Yourself" in big block letters. Worst advice I've ever been given by a poster.

She's a total kick-ass -


But also reminds me a little bit of -


You know, this funny but selfish lizard dragon (oups, sorry sorry Mushu) who is continually trying to hide his hole of a heart? Who's afraid of the very word of feelings? See? I think he could give Meda a high five. Seriously.

And maybe, maybe, as Mushu, she'll discover her heart - maybe. Guess you have to read it to know^^.

And the other characters? Want to meet them? Read that preview and enjoy.

Asinine solo plan where I risk it all to save the planet! Chi.
Rude comment. Jo.
Fake attempt to be included in dangerous mission. Me.
Slightly less asinine plan involving the two of us. Uri.
Rude comment. Almost-sane plan using Chi and me. Jo.
Overprotective response. Chi.
Reeaaally rude comment! Jo.
Cringe-worthy comment about Jo's leg. Chi.
Head explodes. Near homicide. Jo.
Life-saving intervention ending the debate and getting everyone to agree to Jo's plan. Me.


That book is filled with friendship : how can we trust someone enough to accept him as a friend? Do we have to trust someone to become friends?

I really appreciated the dynamic of this nutty team and that's why the lack of romance didn't bother me - even if I root for this french guy, I totally ship for him. I'm the captain of that ship. He sounds awesome. He 's sarcastic too. I love evil. Let's meet him. Please.

The plot : Templars, did you say templars? Really? I don't know why this kind of plot gets to me so easily. Perhaps because I'm a huge nerd fanatic of history. That's something I struggle to understand with my pupils : the majority isn't interested in learning how people lived before whereas I always was crazy about it. I mean, hey, what could be more amazing than touching an artifact some hero used centuries ago? Okay, maybe a lot of things, actually. I admit it. Sort of. Playing Assassin's creed? The truth is, I was this kind of wide-eyed child who stayed hours listening stories about these mad knights (because of course they were nutty, right?) - those annoying children who ask so many questions the museum curator begins to glare at their parents (who shrug, obviously, hey, they have to stand them all the freakin' days). What I loved here was the fact Eliza Crewe used the Templars mythology in an original way and (almost) never fell into the trap of the religious side of it. Because well, I know Templars were fanatic religious, I know it - and that's an aspect of the history I like not so much. Magic and fighting are so more fun, don't you think? That's why I'm really eager to discover the rest because that manner Eliza Crewe renewed the Templar stuff?

I freakin' loved it.

✸✸In other words : An enjoying and fascinating immersion in the head of a wonderful sarcastic b*tch, tinged with a reckless but likeable almost-templar and a screwed-up BBF, the whole thing wildly hilarious, fast-paced and never boring. Plus, icing on the cake : I'm pretty sure I'll love this Armand guy. Instalove here. Yep.✸✸

PS : OMG, I've just seen the ridiculous little number of ratings of that book. What are you waiting? Go read this book! Now!


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Reading Progress

Finished Reading
September 28, 2014 – Shelved
October 12, 2014 –
14.0% "Ha ha, love this sarcastic girl And - "Wait, Templar like the Knights Templar"\n Really? True?? Knights Templar? Really?? Okay, this book just won me."
October 12, 2014 –
29.0% ""Uh, yeah. Sorry." But seriously, it's a fish.\n (...)\n "I know you miss him"\n Miss what? Their long conversations into the night? The phone calls, the rollerbladings?\n \n Love. Her."
October 13, 2014 –
49.0% ""Good God, children. Can we focus on what's important? Me." Did I say I loved Meda? Yes? ♡ In the middle of an awesome battle, annnd I'm forced to stop because too much work this week and need to sleep ugh. Sleep. What a waste of time."
October 15, 2014 –
49.0% "Don't you love when you have finally some minutes to read and when you laugh on the exact page you resume? \n "A couple of the old people at the computer screens turn at the revelation. The others are probably too deaf to hear."\n I missed you Meda!"
October 16, 2014 –
69.0% "I pop open my plastic egg, and inside is a tin heart. Mr Wizard heard my prayer! But what's this? \n "It's broken." Damn you, Mr Wizard."
October 16, 2014 –
76.0% "Who is this guy? Because he sounds awesome. More sarcastic meets sarcastic please!"

Comments Showing 1-29 of 29 (29 new)

dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by Lucy (new) - added it

Lucy Yeah!Can't wait for your review!


message 2: by Elena (new) - added it

Elena Ahh I want to read this! *_* I am going to look out for your reaction :D Hope you enjoy it! :)


Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ Thank you girls!! I hope I'll enjoy it, I have so many high expectations and it scares me a bit lmao - don't want to be disappointed! *finger crossed*


message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

I'm excited for you


message 5: by Elena (new) - added it

Elena You won't be! :D (I know you know that I can't be sure but let's give you some hope :p)


Lola Anna, dear, I am so glad to see you reading this!! I hope you have lots of fun! xx


Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ Oh thank you thank you everyone!! Until now I'm really really enjoying it, I LOVE Meda, she says exactly that we want to say sometimes :D That's refreshing and funny and I love the plot too - Hey! Templars!! Crusaders! You have an AC fan here! I take it! ♡♡


message 8: by [deleted user] (new)

AC!!! <33 you are too awesome


Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ :D ♡♡♡♡ AC's friend! YOU're awesome :D SOOOOON in Paris!! Can't wait to climb in Notre-Dame :D


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

OH MY GAWD, you have me fangirling again. I can't WAIT!!! IT'S COMING!!


Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ Me too!! Especially because I liked Edward but I missed big cities with big buildings^^ This gonna be awesome! Plus they have FINALLY changed the free run. Woohoo! No more missions fail because of it!


message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

They did?? It's easier?? I don't remember getting too stuck on the missions. The only one I FAILED AND FAILED AND FAILED was that plane one, where you had to fly through and miss all of the shots burning in the air. You had to fly to every point, what game was that? Revelations? I think it was...that was tough.


message 13: by Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ (last edited Oct 13, 2014 03:55PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ LOL, EXACTLY. Omg I couldn't get all the check point dammit!! Epic fail so many times for me. That's not in the second? Lol, I remember it was Ezio that's all (and Vinci of course) Actually now we have to put A to activate the free run, so you don't begin to jump when you just want to run...Lol, not really mission fail but so damn annoying! Never been perched on a balcony when you just wanted to run? It hated it lol. By the way I watched tests and it looks great :D


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

ooooh I get what you're saying now. I think I'm fonna end up having a massive replay before unity :) to refresh my memory


Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ Ooh I'd like it too, but I don't know if I'll have the time.. By the way, did you play on nextgen? I haven't chosen yet... I was an xbox girl my entire gamer life but this time I don't know.. I'm not a total fan of their camera "everybody can know how many person are in your living-room" lol.


message 16: by [deleted user] (new)

do you have to have kinnect for unity? you didn't for any of the other games.


Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ Kat Stark wrote: "do you have to have kinnect for unity? you didn't for any of the other games."

Hum no I don't think so - But I forgot it'll be released on nextgen, I play on PC these days, but for AC, well, I prefer on my TV :D


Chelsea ❤Peril Please❤ Shamazing review, Anna!! I can't wait to read this book...I've had it for a month on my reader!!! ♥

Love the Mushu reference...as always with your Disney shenanigans :P


Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ Chelsea ❤Peril Please❤ wrote: "Shamazing review, Anna!! I can't wait to read this book...I've had it for a month on my reader!!! ♥

Love the Mushu reference...as always with your Disney shenanigans :P"


Thank you Chelsea!! I really think you'll like it, seriously, that girl is awesome and even if there isn't romance in it I enjoyed it so much ♥♥ (and I'm ready for the french guy - apparently in the sequel - yes yes!!)

Hey! Mushu is amazing right? I love this lizard :D


message 20: by Lucy (new) - added it

Lucy Love your review about this one!I have to find time for read this book!Sounds really amazing and you sell it very well !


Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ Lucy wrote: "Love your review about this one!I have to find time for read this book!Sounds really amazing and you sell it very well !"

Oh thank you so much ♥ I'm 100% sure you'd like it. Seriously. She's such an hilarious character :D


message 22: by [deleted user] (new)

Because I explained my love in my review and your review reinforced it. This is a Haiku

Fantastic review
How can you not love Meda?
She is amazing.


message 23: by Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ (last edited Oct 18, 2014 06:05PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ Thank you! Love the haiku :D ♥

I just read your review, love it! And I completely and utterly agree with you. That book is a gem, and Meda - well, isn't it awesome to see an heroine who doesn't try to be perfect? I mean, I love strong-minded heroines and I've met some, but there's something really liberating to read the thoughts of this one.

I must admit that I thought several of things she said once. And sometimes kind of share her inability to express feelings in a 'normal' way lmao.

I really need to read the sequel.


message 24: by [deleted user] (new)

YES. READ THE SEQUEL. FANGIRL WITH ME. YOU CAN EVEN MESSAGE ME CONSTANTLY ALONG WITH YOUR FEELS. THOSE CHARACTERS. DAT ENDING. I wait for people to finish to just be like AH!HHHH!HW!H!H!H!H

In other words, you'll love it.


Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ Kat Stark and the headless Ned wrote: "YES. READ THE SEQUEL. FANGIRL WITH ME. YOU CAN EVEN MESSAGE ME CONSTANTLY ALONG WITH YOUR FEELS. THOSE CHARACTERS. DAT ENDING. I wait for people to finish to just be like AH!HHHH!HW!H!H!H!H

In oth..."


YAY!! You just made my day : I was hesitating over reading this one after Friday night bites and you definitely motivated me :D

Of course I'll message you - LMAO, I'm such a geek, you don't know what you are going to walk into :D :D


Aj the Ravenous Reader I freaking love everything about this too, Anna!^^


message 27: by Krys (new) - rated it 4 stars

Krys Lol I blew the same Meda horn! although with slightly less embellishments (show-off). I agree 100+%! Awesome review (once again). If I hadn't reAd already this would have definitely been another add by this review alone.


Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ Krys wrote: "Lol I blew the same Meda horn! although with slightly less embellishments (show-off). I agree 100+%! Awesome review (once again). If I hadn't reAd already this would have definitely been another ad..."

Aww thank you Krys! Meda is SO awesome right? I have yet to read the sequel actually :D


Paige  Bookdragon LOVE THIS!!!


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