Mara's Reviews > Baby Hater

Baby Hater by C.V. Hunt
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bookshelves: recommended-to-me, humor, 2014-reads, codename-duchess, baby-shower-gift-guide
Recommended to Mara by: Kemper

I'm not what one might call a “baby person.” I'm not against the very existence of babies*, but they make me decidedly uncomfortable. There are some exceptions, but for the most part, I don't ‘do’ babies (see disambiguation of term below).

We dont do babies

Our titular Baby Hater , however, has a different bone to pick with the infant crowd; namely, the fact that she can't bear one. Infertile and alone, she has a decidedly grimmer view on the so-called circle of life.
After being forsaken by two assholes for clusters of cells that multiplied and multiplied and turned into wriggling shitting machines, so the wriggling shitting machines could grow up to be raised by the assholes, therefore destined to turn into assholes themselves, I grew to despise children.
And the children she so despises are constantly making themselves known. It seems parents these days just don't know how to keep their babies from crying.

Seamus Bloody Mary

So, what's to be done other than to start punching babies in the face? And boy does that turn out to be a rush! It also turns out that she's not alone in wanting to take these babies to task.

The book is only 37 pages long, so I'll leave it at that. It's funny, and dark, and ridiculous, and its cover bears an uncanny resemblance to Butters' grandmother from South Park (I'd take being punched in the face over “gummy bears” any day).

Grandma Stotch Gummy Bears

So, next time you miss your train because a parent thinks this is a good time to let little Suzy try out her walking skills on the escalator, maybe this will make for a relaxing read.

But, of course, every now and then a cool baby comes around (read: I'm always looking for excuse to do a Wee Baby Seamus montage).

Wee Baby Seamus Montage
* Unlike certain genre-defining country musicians who think all babies (those soft-skulled, fat little germ-sacks) should be drowned (well, not all babies, just baby people).
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Reading Progress

September 14, 2014 – Started Reading
September 14, 2014 – Shelved
September 14, 2014 – Shelved as: recommended-to-me
September 14, 2014 – Shelved as: humor
September 14, 2014 – Shelved as: 2014-reads
September 15, 2014 – Shelved as: codename-duchess
September 15, 2014 – Shelved as: baby-shower-gift-guide
September 15, 2014 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-8 of 8 (8 new)

dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by Jeff (new)

Jeff Peaches and Herb/Archer, County music/Archer, Request: work in Lou Reed/Archer into your next review. Please.

message 2: by Trudi (new)

Trudi Haha! Love.

Mara Jeff - Challenge accepted...I may have to delay my Martin Van Buren review.

message 4: by Jeff (new)

Jeff Velvet Underground-Lou Reed-Venus in Furs-BDSM-Martin Van Buren.

Mara The singularity is near!

message 6: by Jeff (new)

Jeff It shouldn't be too much of a stretch to rope Archer into that mess. ;)

Mara Trudi wrote: "Haha! Love."

Trudi - You're always my target audience for a good old Archer/South Park one-two punch!

Mara Jeff wrote: "It shouldn't be too much of a stretch to rope Archer into that mess. ;)"

Ugh, I was going to say "not viewing the world through ISIS-tinted glasses," but now that makes me sound like a terrorist! Especially now that us American gals are their targeted recruiting market:

Who does Adam Reed have to take to court for copyright infringement?

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