Are We There Yet? is a memoir by Elizabeth Jones about her recovery from depression. I like how she conceptualizes recovery: “Recovery is a lifelong jAre We There Yet? is a memoir by Elizabeth Jones about her recovery from depression. I like how she conceptualizes recovery: “Recovery is a lifelong journey, not the destination. Recovery is the wrong word. There’s no going back to my former state. If I did, that wouldn’t be progress.”
Liz’s journey with depression has included medication, counselling, processing the trauma she’s been through, and spiritual work. Getting to a place of liking and even loving herself is a major theme in the book, as is accepting the love of God. Some of the experiences of depression that she wrote about sounded very familiar to me, such as going to the store and needing apples but being unable to make a decision about which to buy and then leaving with none.
Liz is a vicar in rural England, and she writes about her decision to seek ordination and going through that process. Her faith plays a prominent role in the book, and she conveys a really important message that depression is not a result of a lack of faith, and managing depression is not solely a spiritual process. I thought this passage was very good at capturing how depression can pull you away from the things that matter:
“I realise that I share in the wonderful and amazing life of the Trinity by virtue of the Holy Spirit dwelling within me! However, a couple of weeks later I was down in the depths of despair once more. I wished I were dead. I wanted everything to go away and leave me alone. No decisions. No writing. No thinking. No nothing – obliterate everything – cease to be. I felt that’s what I should be: dead and gone.”
Liz is someone who clearly finds joy and wonder in her relationship with a loving God, and I think her words will be really inspiring for anyone who feels like their faith or their relationship with God has been impacted by their mental illness. More generally, though, I think the themes of accepting love, coming to love oneself, and working on healing will be inspiring for anyone who has dealt with depression.
I don’t typically review fiction, but this review is of All the Lights Above Us, the first novel by my blogging friend M.B. Henry. It’s historical ficI don’t typically review fiction, but this review is of All the Lights Above Us, the first novel by my blogging friend M.B. Henry. It’s historical fiction and depicts how five women were affected by the Allies’ D-Day invasion of Normandy. While many of us are familiar with the fighting that happened on the beaches, this book shows the broader impact of the invasion.
The main characters included two German women (Mildred and Emilia), two French women (Flora and Adelaide) and one British woman (Theda). Mildred is a fictional representation of the real-life Axis Sally, who was an American convicted of treason for broadcasting Nazi propaganda on German radio. Emilia worked for the Nazi SS’s intelligence agency, and her boss was based on a real-life person. Flora is part of the French Resistance, and Adelaide is a mother who encounters an American general (based on a real-life person) while searching for her daughter near the Normandy coast. Theda is a volunteer at a British hospital that receives casualties on D-Day.
The women’s stories are interspersed through the book, with each chapter beginning with the name of the woman in whose point of view it was being told and the place where the chapter was set. I found that the place names helped me to keep track of who was who. The book is organized chronologically and divided into eight parts. The first two parts are set in the days before D-Day, parts three through six are set at different times on D-Day (including “Saw Sunset’s Glow”, which comes from John McCrae’s poem In Flanders Fields), and the last two parts are set the morning after.
The timing of different events, like Allied bombings and paratroopers landing in Normandy, is based on the actual events of D-Day. The book is incredibly well-researched, and there’s an author’s note at the end of the book that explains how the story corresponded with real people and real events.
Emilia works for the SD (the intelligence agency of the Nazi SS), and it’s interesting to see a character who is involved in terrible things but at the same time is very human. The SD was a way for her to avoid being part of the Lebensborn, a program to pump out Aryan babies. Emilia observes that “women were always punished in the end. They were spoken over, trampled on, and batted around. They worked twice as hard for half the pay. When they tried to stand up and prove their worth, people punished them with silence, control, and Lebensborn. And the outspoken ones… who weren’t afraid to stare that injustice in the face, they were punished hardest of all.”
The book is full of evocative descriptions, and particularly powerful were the descriptions of the wounded from the beaches arriving back across the Channel at the British hospital where Theda volunteered. After they first arrived, “It wasn’t long before the entire place stank of damp sweat, rotting seaweed, and sour blood,” and Theda “got tangled in endless webs of ripped-apart patients.”
I was really impressed by this book. I find history, and particularly the history of war, to be fascinating, and it was very apparent while reading the book how much research had gone into it. I really appreciated the level of detail that helped to bring the characters and the setting to life. It was interesting to see the different perspectives of the characters who were experiencing the same event in different ways and from different sides. This was a great read!
Inside Of Me by Wendy Shipman is a novella about dealing with depression. It’s a 2020 Christian Indie Award winner in the Personal Growth category.
In Inside Of Me by Wendy Shipman is a novella about dealing with depression. It’s a 2020 Christian Indie Award winner in the Personal Growth category.
In the book’s preface, Wendy shares that writing this book was an important part of releasing her own pain. She writes, “So many people suffer with depression like I do. This book is meant to inspire those that feel like you can’t survive… but you can! You can free yourself from the depths of despair by seeking therapy, support from family/friends, medication and/or counseling.”
The book opens with protagonist Judean at a church service, which sounded exactly like what my head imagines that a Black Southern Baptist church service would be like, with lots of hallelujahs and praise Gods. While it’s a book about depression, there’s plenty of humour in it, which the reader is introduced to early. Sista Patrice, who has the hots for the pastor, was “jumping up and down so much that her breasts were about to shout right out of her dress. It’s a wonder that Pastor can still concentrate on his sermon while Sista’s triple DDDs are catching the eyes of every Deacon on the side wall.”
After Judean leaves church, we learn that she’s been hiding problems with her mental health from her adult son. The scene then shifts to her son EJ coming to visit her at home because he was concerned about how she’s doing. Through their conversation and memories that Judean recollects, it becomes clear that Judean has had a lot of difficult experiences and struggled for a long time.
The book addresses taboos in the African-American community around talking about mental health and getting help, as well as common myths about mental illness. Readers see how Judean gets different forms of treatment and makes progress with her recovery. I liked how the book conveyed that faith can play an important role in recovery, but other forms of treatment are also valid and often necessary. I thought Wendy presented that in a very balanced way.
Having read Wendy’s memoir first (which was published after this book), I definitely recognized elements of her story in Judean’s. I think that’s a really great approach to do semi-autobiographical fiction first and then a memoir.
I think this book does a lot to challenge stigma and normalize mental illness within the Black community. The book talks about challenges, but the recovery aspect and the humour keep it from feeling dark or heavy. Overall, it was really well done....more
How to Find Your Voice in the Middle of the Noise: Healing from Childhood Trauma is the first self-help book from Sajida Haddad of My Rollercoaster JoHow to Find Your Voice in the Middle of the Noise: Healing from Childhood Trauma is the first self-help book from Sajida Haddad of My Rollercoaster Journey; she has also published a number of other books. The book includes tips based on the author’s own experience and things she’s researched, along with recommendations for further reading.
The first chapter explores how to recognize your own childhood trauma and keep from enacting the same patterns with your own kids. Sajida writes, “The way you treat your child becomes their inner voice, and it can be a positive inner voice if you encourage and praise your child and help them grow, or it can be a negative voice if you always belittle your child and compare them to others and make them feel like they’ll never be good enough for you.”
Other topics that are covered include friendships and boundaries, tuning out external noise to find your genuine internal voice, validation and advice, and self-esteem. There’s a chapter on faith, and I was quite impressed to learn that Sajida has memorized the Quran.
The final chapter is on healing your inner child. It addresses the effects of adverse childhood experience and the stigma around mental health issues, and it offers strategies to support recovery and wellness. Sajida has adapted the 12 steps of AA to create the 12 steps of trauma recovery.
I always like when authors aren’t overconfident in the things they’re recommending. The author writes, “Take everything I say with a grain of salt. I am a writer. I’m not an expert. Even if I were an expert, don’t follow me blindly. Think. Finding your inner voice starts with knowing who you are. It starts with knowing your core values and doing things that resonate with them and leaving the rest behind.”
Throughout the book, Sajida emphasizes that people who’ve experienced childhood trauma aren’t alone, it’s not their fault, and healing and breaking the cycle is possible. While the book addresses the effects of childhood trauma, it doesn’t dig deep into particular traumatic experiences; it’s more forward-oriented, encouraging, and optimistic that people can find their authentic voice and create positive change.
The book is written in a chatty tone of voice, and reading it felt like sitting and having tea with a friend. I quite liked sitting down with Sajida for a mental cup of tea....more
I Died So I Could Live is a memoir by Wendy Shipman in which she shares the hardships that she has dealt with, including mental illness, and her recovI Died So I Could Live is a memoir by Wendy Shipman in which she shares the hardships that she has dealt with, including mental illness, and her recovery process in the hope of showing others that they too can overcome adversity. Poems are interspersed throughout the narrative.
The book begins with the challenges she faced during childhood, including a difficult relationship with her mother, that led her into a dark place of depression and suicidal thinking, at a time when she felt there was no one she could talk to about how she was feeling. She writes about feeling like she was grieving, and “I died and I could not figure out how to live.”
The depression stuck with her as she went to university, where she experienced a series of traumatic events that occurred while she was there. She writes that one of these events “killed in the spirit inside of me. Right there… I died.”
Wendy also describes the emotionally abusive relationship she entered with the man who became her first husband, as well as the adverse effects that had on her mental health.
About three-quarters of the way through the book, the story shifts from challenges to change that leads to healing. As the subtitle says, this book is about what she had to endure to receive the crown of life God prepared for her. Her Christian faith plays an important part throughout the book, particularly in terms of her healing process. She writes about the spiritual awakening that allowed her to release the burdens weighing her down so she could begin to thrive. This included finding forgiveness, not just for those who hurt her, but for herself.
Readers get to hear the lovely story of how she met her now-husband. I love this line about when they first met in person: “His warm embrace melted the wall I had built with mortar and concrete.”
Wendy also shares how a psychologist was able to help her work through her depression, anxiety, and trauma. Together they “re-opened those wounds and cleaned out all the nasty debris like resentment, hurt, and anger that I had left covered up” in order to help them heal properly. I thought that was a really interesting description.
At the end of the book, there are writing prompts for self-exploration to help readers in their own healing process.
Throughout the book, Wendy is open and vulnerable in sharing what she’s been through. She demonstrates incredible strength and resilience, and she serves as a great example that recovery and healing is possible. As a reader, it felt like the author is speaking right to me in a very genuine way, and she compassionately encourages readers to pursue their own journey towards healing. I thought this book was really well done. ...more
Musings on the Murky Dating and Relationships Terrain is the remarkable memoir #8 from Jacqueline-of-all-trades Marie Abanga, aka MAG. MAG is a lawyerMusings on the Murky Dating and Relationships Terrain is the remarkable memoir #8 from Jacqueline-of-all-trades Marie Abanga, aka MAG. MAG is a lawyer, CBT therapist, motivational speaker, author, and various other things, including Superwoman.
In this memoir, the focus is on what she’s learned from dating and relationships over the years. As usual, she brings her unique and powerful voice to her writing. There’s no holding back; MAG is honest, open and willing to be vulnerable. She talks about difficult subjects like childhood sexual abuse, committing adultery, an abusive marriage, and attempted suicide, but the way they’re presented, they don’t feel heavy. Instead, they’re framed as things that she has worked to learn and grow from.
There’s plenty of lightheartedness and willingness to laugh at herself thrown in as well, along with some slang and Cameroonian pidgin. Marie points out that tragedy “affects your future D&R frolics capacity”, and she writes that she is “sharing all my shenanigans over and over again to make my mess my message.”
An important theme that’s emphasized throughout the book is that Marie has gone from trying to find relationships with men that would let her feel liked and accepted to having a great relationship with herself first. She writes, “I mean what about dating and relating wonderfully with myself first and even always?” Yes!!!
If you’re feeling discouraged by your own frolics and shenanigans in the D&R world, this book will motivate you to live authentically as your wonderful self and put your relationship with yourself first. MAG is certainly an example of someone who’s done that very well.
I received a free reviewer copy from the author....more
Have You Heard the Sound of Your Own Voice is a memoir by Krithika Chandrasekar about her experiences with depression. The title refers to “the languaHave You Heard the Sound of Your Own Voice is a memoir by Krithika Chandrasekar about her experiences with depression. The title refers to “the language of silence” that people with depression speak as they carry their burdens.
The book covers the author’s teenage years in India and her time as an undergrad at Purdue, but the focus is her time as a graduate student in engineering at the University of California in Santa Barbara, when it became clear that she was experiencing depression.
Like so many people with depression, the author didn’t realize at first that that’s what was happening to her. She does an excellent job of capturing the process of trying to figure out what was going on, and why she was having symptoms like headaches and difficulty sleeping, weepiness, and “sudden laziness.” She writes about getting to the point where she could no longer find her familiar self. It wasn’t until a friend pointed it out to her that she realized she had depression.
I thought the author was also very effective at narrating the negative self-talk that went through her mind, along with the guilt and self-hatred; it provided an intimate look into the depressed mind. The book also conveyed how difficult basic things like eating and sleeping can be while depressed.
The author also writes about having to figure out what to tell her family and how to manage her friendships. She describes feeling like a burden: “They did not sign up for a pestilential friendship. I decided not to impose on them anymore.” She also talks about what it was like to have friends telling her how much more she should be doing and achieving.
The book contains a lot of vivid imagery and quite poetic descriptions. I quite liked this one: “The sun was molten gold yellow. Light spilled through cloud quilts onto the calm waves.” The writing style is very honest and vulnerable, like the writer is allowing readers direct access into her mind.
The author explains that faith played an important role in helping to counter-balance the negative pull of depression. Finding a source of hope was also very important for her, and the book ends on a very hopeful note. The author has also chosen to pursue further training to be able to help others in their own recovery.
I thought this book was really well done. It paints a vivid picture of the shades of darkness of depression and a light of hope for recovery. I definitely recommend it.
I received a free copy in exchange for an honest review. ...more
In Braving Bipolar: A Family Journey and Guide, Stephanie Schlosser shares her experiences with bipolar disorder in order to support others who have tIn Braving Bipolar: A Family Journey and Guide, Stephanie Schlosser shares her experiences with bipolar disorder in order to support others who have the disorder, provide education and insights for those who don’t, and challenge stigma.
The book is broken into two parts. Part I gives a chronological view of how the author’s illness developed and evolved over time, while part II addresses how different aspects of life can be affected for people with a chronic mental illness. The author rates her knowledge of mental health and ability to acknowledge her mental health needs at milestones along the way, allowing the reader a glimpse of how her relationship with her illness has changed.
Schlosser’s descriptions are remarkably vivid. Describing the initial onset of manic symptoms, she writes “My thoughts had opened up to new words, colors, light, and sounds… It is hard to explain in words; it’s like someone decided to turn on a radiance in my cellular structure that had been asleep my entire life.” The use of metaphors also adds richness to her writing. I particularly liked this: “With no self-awareness at this time, I couldn’t stop my daily life bus at the station to get well or figure out how to slow it down.”
The author writes about her hospitalizations, and as is far too common for people dealing with mental illness, she wasn’t kept in the loop, including not being told her diagnosis during her first hospitalization. It can be easy to assume that we’re alone in these experiences, and also for others to minimize the likelihood of this kind of thing happening, so I think it’s crucial for people to speak up and share their truth. Schlosser also addresses limitations in Canada’s health care system, including the lack of coverage for psychologists’ services.
Schlosser also offers an example of the frustration that people with mental illness face when it comes to getting on disability and later returning to work. My doctor wasn’t quite as obstructionist as hers was, but it’s something that I think will ring true for a lot of people.
The book addresses a number of other issues that commonly come up for people living with chronic mental illness, such as shifts in identity and priorities, and worry about passing mental illness along to a child. Attention is also given to things that can support wellness, including diet, exercise, and a self-help acronym ACTIVATE that was inspired by Mental Health First Aid. Overall, the book provides a very balanced perspective on how to manage bipolar disorder, incorporating the medical, therapy, and self-management aspects.
Stigma is a recurring theme throughout the book. The author writes that while stigma makes people with mental illness somehow less than, that didn’t fit with her experiences. “I fell to pieces, yes. But those pieces held my essence, and I achieved great things after this melt-down because my heart is strong.” I really like the way the author has chosen to define bipolar, as a “lifelong affliction of great need to feel deeply” that’s a matter of what’s present rather than what’s missing.
The author admits that when she releases this book, “I will be vulnerable to the stereotypes of bipolar. I will feel threatened personally that I may be overcome with people wanting to take advantage of my condition or exploit my situation.” To support others in sharing their stories, she’s starting a Scribe Your Story project online.
Finally, the book concludes with appendices on how friends and family can help as well as self-reflection questions.
Overall, I think this book did a great job of conveying the kind of journey that dealing with bipolar can be. The author is open and honest, and acknowledges that she knows her experience, but she doesn’t have all the answers. She’s clearly passionate about sharing her story and challenging stigma, which makes this book a great read.
ADHD 101: Parents Edition by Sandy Pace of Mental Health 101 is a guide to help parents effectively support their child with ADHD. It’s written from hADHD 101: Parents Edition by Sandy Pace of Mental Health 101 is a guide to help parents effectively support their child with ADHD. It’s written from his perspective as a peer support worker, psychology major, person with ADHD, and child of parents who followed the what-not-to-do handbook when it came to handling the disorder.
The book repeatedly emphasizes the importance of getting health information and guidance from credible sources rather than from online sources with no credentials to back up what they’re saying. It covers some common misconceptions about ADHD and medications, and addresses concerns parents might have about health care providers. Medications are presented as an important part of ADHD treatment, but by no means the only part.
Throughout the book, parents are challenged to examine their own beliefs and biases, and how that might be affecting the way they approach their child’s conditions. Elements of cognitive behavioural therapy, including cognitive distortions, are incorporated.
There’s a chapter devoted to building your child up and empowering them rather than tearing them down. Sandy shares the consequences of being repeatedly knocked down by parents who refused to acknowledge his condition, and encourages readers to avoid heading down that path.
Points in the book are often laid out by number, so it’s easy to follow. It concludes with a set of questions to reflect on what’s been covered.
Sandy’s passion for the topic and personal connection is clear throughout the book. He doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to problematic attitudes, and “Karen” makes a few appearances. Hopefully this book will inspire readers to take a supportive and balanced approach to give their young ADHDer the best start possible....more
From Famine to Feast: My Thoughts About My Eating Disorder is the first book by K. Michelle Pahl, who you may know from her blog, From Famine to FeastFrom Famine to Feast: My Thoughts About My Eating Disorder is the first book by K. Michelle Pahl, who you may know from her blog, From Famine to Feast – The Journey.
The book includes her twelve most popular blog posts, and they were definitely popular for a reason. Together, they offer remarkable insights into what it’s likely living with an eating disorder that may take a backseat, but never actually goes away.
In the intro, Michelle promises the writer she intended to “crank the stereo and dance like a madwoman when the book goes live before ordering a hard copy of my very own.” I think I need to put that on my calendar for when my next book comes out. ...more
But Deliver Me From Crazy by Katie R. Dale is a memoir of living with bipolar disorder. You may know Katie from her blog, Bipolar Brave. She also contBut Deliver Me From Crazy by Katie R. Dale is a memoir of living with bipolar disorder. You may know Katie from her blog, Bipolar Brave. She also contributed a story about bipolar I to my book Making Sense of Psychiatric Diagnosis.
The book begins when Katie was in high school, when her illness first appears. Her mania was accompanied by a strong psychotic element as well as hyperreligiosity, and it was interesting to read her descriptions of that. Psychosis doesn’t get talked about that often, so I think it’s really valuable when people are able to share the day-to-day reality of psychosis like this.
While Katie’s family was supportive, it sounds like they really didn’t have a clue what was going on, and had to learn it on the fly. She did end up requiring hospitalization, but found a combination of meds that worked well.
Jumping forward several years, Katie was stable and had gotten married. Many of us have not so good going off medication stories, and Katie’s began after being inspired by something a televangelist said about healing.
She ended up becoming manic/psychotic, and much of the book is devoted to that time as the illness was building and she was in and out of hospital. She writes about her psychotic experiences that still feel real, even though she knows they were not.
She’s very open about what’s like to a be a patient on a psych ward and critical of decisions not to put her back on the meds that worked for her. At the conclusion of the book, she provides recommendations for improve the system of mental health care. She writes: "I realize that is not encouraging to someone who is considering getting hospitalized for their mental health crisis, but I wouldn’t sugar coat the experience just so that someone else would be more encouraged to get hospitalized."
What I found most interesting about this book is Katie’s perspective as someone who’s devoutly religious, and then becomes hyperreligious when unwell. She seems to have found an effective way to reconcile all of it. She frames taking medication in this way: "I give God the glory for His infinite wisdom and grace in the distribution of medications through the scientists, pharmacists, and doctors that I needed in order to find my deliverance from my crazy."
Katie did a really good job of capturing the experience of being manic and psychotic. I think this is an especially powerful read for anyone who’s struggling with making sense of their illness in terms of their religious beliefs. Katie’s message about medication is certainly one that deserves to be heard more widely.
Ghosted: Disappearing Acts is the latest novel by Paula Light of Light Motifs II. It’s part mystery, part suspense, and part James Bond, with a twist Ghosted: Disappearing Acts is the latest novel by Paula Light of Light Motifs II. It’s part mystery, part suspense, and part James Bond, with a twist of romance.
The book opens with main character Lily finding out that her brother Jack has died under unusual circumstances in Aruba. The first chapter is delightfully titled “Dead men don’t pay alimony.” The mystery element builds from there, and then towards the end, the suspense/James Bond-ish element comes out to play.
There are lots of visual details in the book, from the Ikea kitchen table to Lily “taking in his yummy jeans-clad self, so handsome in a plain white shirt and scuffed brown leather jacket.” That just happens to be my dream man dream outfit from about 20 years ago. I also liked “her long legs were encased in snug mocha boots” — I would like my own pair of snug mocha boots, please and thank you.
There was mention of “ballerina stripping,” which made me wonder if that’s a thing that I’ve just never heard of. A Google search turned up a bunch of porn hits, and after some confusion I realized that it made sense in context had I been more attentive, and there was no actual porn involved.
Accents can be hard to capture effectively in writing, but Lily’s sister-in-law’s Texas drawl is done very well.
Peanut butter cups make an appearance along the way, a favourite that I share with Paula.
I really enjoyed this novel. It had a lot of different elements—a little something for everyone. There are enough hints to keep you guessing without being predictable.
There’s also a bit of a who’s who of guys that made an appearance in my life, including a Russian dude whose name may or may not have been real but who my friends and I nicknamed Boris.
So, if you’re looking for a fun novel for some Christmas reading, this is it!
I Lost My Little Apricot by Melody Finch, the lovely Caramel (Learner at Love), shares the heart-wrenching experience of miscarrying.
The foreword inclI Lost My Little Apricot by Melody Finch, the lovely Caramel (Learner at Love), shares the heart-wrenching experience of miscarrying.
The foreword includes the figure that one in four pregnancies will end in miscarriage, and points out that it’s a subject that doesn’t get talked about enough.
Parts of the book were written before and after the miscarriage, capturing both the joy of pregnancy and the pain of loss. She described the poetic pieces as ditties, writing:
“My ditties will be a way for me to record this dramatic page in my life. The joy and the grief, the wonder and the loneliness, the dreams and the prayers. I’m sad for the loss of a million possibilities, a million hopes, a million stories, a million delights. I don’t know how else to record this time, one of the most significant events of my life…other than this collection of little ditties.”
Some of the pieces were written directly to her little apricot; she explains early in the book why she uses this term. The book also includes things that helped with her healing, including her faith and giving her apricot a resting place near her family home.
I Lost My Little Apricot is simply yet beautifully written. It gives the reader a glimpse into an intensely personal experience, and also serves as a loving memorial.
Porn and the Pandemic is written by Joshua Shea, a pornography addiction educator and advocate and an addict in recovery. It’s part of a series of a cPorn and the Pandemic is written by Joshua Shea, a pornography addiction educator and advocate and an addict in recovery. It’s part of a series of a collection of short books by publisher MSI Press that cover the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic. This book was written in less than 3 weeks in May 2020 to capture the impact of the pandemic on pornography use and, in particular, pornography addiction.
The book is written in the first person, with the author wearing the hats of ex-addict, educator, and journalist. Much of the book is devoted to interviews with a diverse set of people including addicts, webcam models, and therapists.
Some interviews capture the havoc that porn addiction can wreak on people’s lives. For instance, one interview got an STD from hooking up with someone he met online. He got an extra dose of medication from his doctor and slipped it into his wife’s morning vitamins so she wouldn’t notice. There are also interviews with addicts who relapsed with their porn addiction during the pandemic lockdown.
The author breaks down statistics that are available around pornography use, and points out what they do and do not capture. He also suggests that, based on the number of videos available for different search terms, statistics released may be fudged to have more mainstream acceptability.
The book shows how the adult industry has taken advantage of the pandemic, including a major site that offered free premium memberships. One site even offered laid off employees a larger cut of their proceeds on the site.
Various sites for accessing porn are discussed, including Youtube (who knew?), OnlyFans, and Chaturbate. There are interviews with both male and female cam models, including one who began camming during the pandemic.
There’s also the therapist perspective, including the therapist who has observed increased relapses during the pandemic among porn addicts that they’re treating.
What makes this book especially interesting is the number of different angles from which it looks at the issue. Not only is it relevant for people with a connection to pornography addictions, it offers insights into the industry that general readers are likely to find interesting. I certainly learned a lot (like porn on Youtube!). The short book format makes a quick read, and I would definitely recommend it.
I received a free copy in exchange for an honest review....more
Shame Ate My Soul is Susan Walz's personal story of rising above stigma, suicide attempts, addiction, and misdiagnosis, and eventually finding recover Shame Ate My Soul is Susan Walz's personal story of rising above stigma, suicide attempts, addiction, and misdiagnosis, and eventually finding recovery. I've known Sue, who blogs at My Loud Whispers of Hope, since the beginning of my blogging journey.
The book opens with a heartbreaking conversation with 2 of her 3 children, as they tried to persuade her to accept help in her depressed state. She told them she wouldn't kill herself that night, and she "knew it to be true because I promised myself, I would never kill myself without writing letters to my children first. I was far too tired to write my good-bye letters tonight." I know that kind of thought pattern all too well.
The book then shifts to her early life and the trauma she experienced from being punished for ongoing bed-wetting problems. Sue describes how symptoms of mental illness appeared and continued to worsen into her 20s.
She then became unexpectedly pregnant and endured a traumatic birth that left her "an empty carcass of a human being pretending to be real." Unsurprisingly, she developed postpartum depression. At that point, she was prescribed Klonopin (clonazepam) by a psychiatrist she would end up seeing for many years.
Things really began to fall apart after the birth of her second child. Her psychiatrist diagnosed her with bipolar, but my guess is that he slept through the part of school where they taught about medicating bipolar. At many points throughout the book, I wanted to jump through the page and smack him silly.
Readers will probably also be inclined to jump on the smack train when she describes the horrible way she was treated around that time by her (now ex-) partner, her employer, emergency services, and the hospital. At one point, she writes that "I was imprisoned in the Psych Unit for ten days until they released me, until I served the mandatory sentence for my crime of having a severe mental illness and pissing off my husband."
Sue writes about the stigma that she experienced in multiple contexts. For example, when she missed a couple of appointments with her obstetrician, she got a call from the clinic threatening that her baby would be taken away if she kept missing appointments. She was also wrongfully fired from a job when they found out her history of mental illness, and ended up homeless with a young daughter to care for. She explains how she developed self-stigma as a result of the stigma she was exposed to. Her experience really captures the harm that stigma can cause.
The gong show of psychiatric ineptitude continued, and her mental health declined. Every step of the way people just kept dropping the ball when it came to her care. It would be farcical if it wasn't so tragic.
The book then arrives back at 2018, where it began in the first chapter. Sue explains that giving up the fight to live brought her "a new kind of peace I never experienced before." I've felt that same peace when in that situation, and Sue's description gives a good insight into that mindset.
The book includes the suicide note that Sue wrote after taking a bunch of pills. She posted it on her blog. That's a part of the story that I already knew. I read Sue's blog post early that morning, several hours after she posted it. I found the city where she lived on her Twitter profile, and called the police. The calltaker said they'd already been notified by another online follower, and they were already with her at that point. The book includes my response to her tweet, letting others know that help was already with her.
Besides worrying about further stigma she'd be faced with after the suicide attempt, she had to go through being cut off Klonopin cold turkey and experiencing a terrible prolonged withdrawal.
Finally, though, Sue was able to turn a corner. Her recovery has been truly remarkable, with the help of her faith, becoming a grandma, and finally finding a doctor who was able to give her the right diagnosis and get her on the right treatment.
Sue has had a very difficult journey, and she's captured it really effectively in this book. It has a loud and clear anti-stigma message, as well as a very hopeful message for recovery. This is a very powerful book and I highly recommend it.
This Voyage of a Lifetime is the third book in the Learners at Love trilogy by Melody Finch of Caramel, Learner at Love. The books revolve centrally aThis Voyage of a Lifetime is the third book in the Learners at Love trilogy by Melody Finch of Caramel, Learner at Love. The books revolve centrally around Annabelle Grainger, her husband Robin, and her close friend Chris. The story is told from a third person objective point of view, but the three main characters are very vulnerable with one another in the dialogue, so the book is very emotion-rich.
Mental health is much more of a focus in this book than the previous book. The spotlight is on Annabelle’s struggles with borderline personality disorder, but several other characters’ mental health issues come up as well, including a history of suicidal thinking.
After a tragic accident, Annabelle engaged in significant self-harm, and the book follows her through some time spent in hospital, adjusting to the community crisis team, and then meeting a new therapist. Her new therapist Maggie was quite the fun character, and came out with pull-no-punches lines like “One day you might blow your fuse, murder your husband, and end up in prison for life.”
Annabelle’s father-in-law demonstrates many of the common stigmatized attitudes around mental illness. When visiting her in hospital, he told her “This needs to be nipped in the bud Annabelle. It’s obviously a sign of emotional weakness. You need to man up and deal with your emotions strategically.” I was quite prepared to jump through the screen and smack him upside the head.
A number of things come up for Annabelle that a lot of people with mental illness deal with at some point. She struggled to accept her diagnosis and the idea of being reduced to a label. She also had to make decisions around treatment, and expressed common worries about the prospect of taking medication.
A number of new characters are introduced in this last part of the trilogy, including one who provokes jealousy in Annabelle. Mel has mentioned already that she’s interested in pursuing the stories of some of those characters, so I’m guessing we’ll be seeing some more books in the future.
As with the previous two books, the characters are very likeable, and the dialogue effectively captures what the characters are working through on their learning journey. It’s a delightful read.
The Balance Between Life and Death is a novella by Elizabeth Holland. The intro says “This novella focuses on the importance of putting your mental heThe Balance Between Life and Death is a novella by Elizabeth Holland. The intro says “This novella focuses on the importance of putting your mental health first. A reminder that you never know what someone is hiding beneath their smile.”
The protagonist is a young woman named Ana Adams. “The smile on her face means nothing, all that matters is the turmoil that is going on inside her head.”
The book begins 10 years before with Ana finding her father dead by suicide. It then shifts to the present day, when Ana begins seeing a therapist to start working through her trauma.
Around the same time, she begins a romantic relationship, and the reader finds out more about Ana’s history as she shares it with her new boyfriend.
After experiencing a crisis, Ana is able to move forward in a new way, and the book ends with a sense of optimism for the future.
The book does a good job of presenting Ana’s mental health issues in an accessible and easily understandable way, and the reader gets a good sense of who Ana is as a person. Suicide is addressed directly without any beating around the bushes, but it’s done in a way that’s not likely to be triggering for readers. The romance brings a nice sense of lightness to balance out some of the darker bits. Overall, a very good read.
Where Is This Place They Call “Home”? is the second book in the Learners At Love Series by Melody Finch, who you may know from her blog Caramel (LearnWhere Is This Place They Call “Home”? is the second book in the Learners At Love Series by Melody Finch, who you may know from her blog Caramel (Learner at Love). I previously reviewed the first book We Hide What We Hate About Ourselves The series follows protagonist Annabelle Riley as she grows emotionally and in her relationship.
In this book, Annabelle crosses the Atlantic to pursue her relationship with Robin Grainger. A summary of the first book is worked in smoothly, giving the reader a solid starting point even if you haven’t read the first book.
Annabelle’s mental health issues are further explored, and readers learn about her diagnosis as Robin tries to find out more about it. Annabelle herself is reluctant to acknowledge that she has mental health problems because of the associated stigma. A theme running throughout the book is Robin’s attempts to get her to be more assertive about what she wants.
The indifferent behaviour of Annabelle’s family is another topic that’s further developed from the first book, and we also see her navigate relationships with Robin’s parents and the expectations they have of her.
I enjoyed this book as much as I enjoyed the first book in the series. Annabelle is a very likeable character. The book digs deep into what she is thinking and feeling, and I liked that mental health was one of the key themes in this book.
This was a great read, and I look forward to reading the final book in the trilogy.
Switching Positions: Love in the Time of Politics is a novel by Paula Light. The book takes a firmly tongue-in-cheek look at the American political laSwitching Positions: Love in the Time of Politics is a novel by Paula Light. The book takes a firmly tongue-in-cheek look at the American political landscape.
Mia and Chad pursue love across party lines after meeting at a Pete Buttigieg fundraiser in a wine cave. She’s a Democrat, and he’s a Republican. My favourite line in the book was “We were polar opposites and I wanted to ride his polar express.”
From the college admissions scandal to the electoral college to the Democratic primaries, recent events are humorously brought into the story.
Social media is another satirical target in the book. When Chad proposes putting their relationship on Facebook, Mia’s fabulous response was “But we aren’t even Facebook friends yet! We’re not even following each other on Instagram, only on Twitter. And frankly I can’t believe you retweeted that awful meme the other day.”
I really enjoyed this book. It was funny, and if politics has been stressing you out, this book will remind you how ridiculous it all is.
We Hide What We Hate About Ourselves is written by Melody Finch, who blogs as Caramel (Learner at Love). This book is the first of her Learner at LoveWe Hide What We Hate About Ourselves is written by Melody Finch, who blogs as Caramel (Learner at Love). This book is the first of her Learner at Love series, and it was initially published in serial form on her blog.
The novel features protagonist Annabelle Riley as well as several significant men in her life. While one of the key focal areas was Annabelle’s romantic relationship, this wasn’t a typical romance novel.
Much of the novel is set in the quaint little town of Blackwood. Annabelle is quite popular there and is especially well-liked by some of the older residents she has become close to. Annabelle is equally likeable for the reader, and it’s very easy to start rooting for her. In fact, all of the characters quite likeable.
Annabelle’s character was well-developed, as were the male characters to a somewhat lesser extent. Much of what the reader learns about the characters is through dialogue, which feels quite natural. The title comes from a line by one of the male characters in the book.
Several of the characters have struggled with mental health issues, substance misuse, and problem gambling, and Annabelle’s ongoing mental health issues are openly discussed.
Annabelle has a number of unresolved issues that she works through over the course of the book, including relationship challenges and an unsupportive family. Through her dialogue with other characters, the reader is able to see how she searches for some form of resolution.
This book covers only part of Annabelle’s story. The end of this book wraps up with some closure around one important relationship in her life, and leaves her ready to forge ahead with another. It certainly leaves the reader wanting to read the next book in the series to see how Annabelle’s story will continue to unfold.
He's a Porn Addict... Now What?: An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions by Tony Overbay and Joshua Shea is written to serve as a resourceHe's a Porn Addict... Now What?: An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions by Tony Overbay and Joshua Shea is written to serve as a resource for partners of men with pornography addictions. It's a unique combination of viewpoints – Tony is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Josh is a former porn addict who's now in sustained recovery.
Each chapter of the book has a specific focus, and includes questions that partners often ask. Each question is answered by Tony and then Josh.
The book is written in a very conversational tone. It's very honest and straightforward, and there's no skirting around issues. It is not prescriptive, and different angles and potential strategies are explored. The book is very practical, giving very reasonable suggestions that could be implemented in the real world.
Some of the questions addressed in the book:
Isn't it normal for most guys to like pornography? Is he like this because I won't do certain things in the bedroom? Why won't he just stop? How much do we tell the kids? Can't I just pray this away? Can I force him to get help? Will I ever be able to trust him again?
Throughout the book, there is consistent messaging that both recovery and repair of the relationship are possible as long as the addict is willing to put it the effort and commit to a recovery program. When suggestions are made for how the partner might address their own issues related to betrayal trauma and trust, this is done gently and respectfully. There is repeated reassurance that the partner did not cause the porn addiction.
The authors do not take sides; instead, they acknowledge what the issues may be from both the addict's and the partner's side. Rather than urging a partner to stay simply for the sake of staying, both authors suggest allowing time to see how the recovery process does or does not progress. They also acknowledge that the relationship may not be salvageable, and there is no judgment attached to that.
The book touches on subjects like gaslighting, lying, setting boundaries, and how to address the addiction with kids, family, and religious community. There is an anti-pornography stance, but the pornography itself isn't really the focus; instead, the emphasis is on navigating the relationship.
The authors take the stance that strictly defining what is or is not addiction is less important than recognizing that there's a problem that's interfering with the relationship and needs treatment. I thought that was a smart approach, especially since pornography addiction isn't (yet) a formal diagnosis.
The problem with a lack of an established diagnosis is that it can translate into a lack of reliable, readily available information. This lack of information doesn't just affect laypeople; many mental health clinicians don't have training on how to manage this disorder. On top of that, pornography is not something that often makes it into polite conversation despite it being a massive industry, and pornography addiction is not something that's generally socially acceptable.
All of this can mean that people are struggling in silence, and this book goes a long way towards knocking down that silence and talking about a complex issue in a very human, non-judgmental way.
I also appreciated that the book makes space for all the difficult feelings a partner may be struggling with. The authors aren't here to judge partner or addict; their goal is to help both find healing, and as such, I believe it makes an important contribution to the field.
I received a free copy in exchange for an honest review....more
All She Wrote: Catharsis & Absolution, is a book of poetry by Paula Light. It focuses on the myriad emotions that go along with relationship heartbreaAll She Wrote: Catharsis & Absolution, is a book of poetry by Paula Light. It focuses on the myriad emotions that go along with relationship heartbreak. There are poems about narcissism, gaslighting, and other highly charged circumstances. There’s also a poem about a non-starter online relationship and Google stalking.
Here are some of my favourite lines from the book.
“He sliced her in half With a sword named Surrender”
“I learned to parallel park By necessity In the crowded airless Density Of nothingness. I confess, I was served The restraining order Yesterday.”
“It transforms your narcissistic pumpkins Into gilded porch swing coaxes.”
“Drag down the moon, The pale baleful Lenten Moon: This shall be our wedding cake.”
There were some very creative, interesting word choices and combinations that provided rich descriptions and evoked emotions.
From the book description on Amazon: “Like a reverse murderer on the Orient Express, Paula’s poetry meanders unmasked through the train cars stabbing anonymous men in the dark.” I suspect many of us have a few characters scattered throughout our pasts that we wouldn’t mind doing a little drive-by (train-by?) stabbing, so why not do it vicariously through Paula’s poetry? ...more
**spoiler alert** Bring Me To Light: Embracing my Bipolar and Social Anxiety by Eleanor Segall describes her journey with mental illness, from pre-dia**spoiler alert** Bring Me To Light: Embracing my Bipolar and Social Anxiety by Eleanor Segall describes her journey with mental illness, from pre-diagnosis through her work on recovery.
It's written in clear, simple language, making it easy to understand for readers with no background knowledge of mental illness.
She begins by talking about her Jewish heritage and how she comes from a long line of survivors. Her faith is a theme that's woven throughout the book as a source of comfort for her.
Eleanor was not the first in her family to develop mental illness. Her father first became ill when she was quite young, although it was only years later that he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Narratives from her dad appear throughout the book, which gives an interesting alternative perspective to her subjective descriptions.
She describes how her illness began in high school with depression, and then on a trip to Israel she became hypomanic and disinhibited. She was not properly diagnosed and treated, and her hypomania progressed to psychosis and the need for hospitalization. This whole process impacted her self-esteem, making her feel "like a freak", and this progressed into social anxiety, which appears throughout the book along with the bipolar disorder.
After she graduated from university, her parents divorced, which triggered a relapse of her illness, including depression and suicidal thoughts. She described feeling like a failure for claiming Jobseekers Allowance, which is a great example of the guilt people with mental illness can experience when accessing something they're genuinely entitled to.
A death in the family prompted a switch to mania with psychotic features, and she describes the various difficult events that occurred with the calm wisdom of someone who has really come to terms with her illness.
She ended up hospitalized. At a tribunal to challenge her assessment hold, she burst into song, and she admits that while she can see the humour in it now, the situation was very distressing at the time. This is a good example of how behaviours that may appear comical to observers are anything but for the mentally ill person.
When she left hospital, "I had no confidence and was a shell of a person." She ended up in a day hospital program, where her slow recovery began. A number of her journal entries from that time are included in the book, and even though she was unwell at the time it was still recognizable as the same voice.
She began writing after that, first on her blog, and then for a number of mental health charities and some high profile publications. She explains that "Writing was a form of therapy for me, and I found it truly healing."
One thing that struck me about this book was that it's not just a story of illness, it's a story of a rich life. There's a lot of kindness and positivity in the way she talks about other people, and hope is present even in the descriptions of the darkest times. Eleanor's big heart clearly shines through the pages.
I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review....more
I don't often read romance novels, but Fiona's Fling was a refreshing change from some of the over the top cheesiness that can be found in that genre.I don't often read romance novels, but Fiona's Fling was a refreshing change from some of the over the top cheesiness that can be found in that genre. The characters were likeable, the dialogue was realistic, and humour was effectively woven in.
One of my favourite lines was: "Seriously the man had a smile that could do some major damage to the world’s glaciers."
Your Mental Health and You is written by Sandy Pace, whose blog I’ve followed for some time. He has a degree in psychology, lives with ADHD, and has eYour Mental Health and You is written by Sandy Pace, whose blog I’ve followed for some time. He has a degree in psychology, lives with ADHD, and has experienced addiction.
The book covers various areas of your life and your thinking where you could make changes to promote better mental health. It’s immediately clear how passionate the author is about fighting stigma, and is quite vehement in calling out the problems that he sees. He talks about different contexts in which stigma may occur, including religion and the workplace, and there is a particular focus on challenging stigma related to psychiatric medications. He dismisses the argument that medications are bad simply because Big Pharma is one big scam, adding that the people who tend to make that argument are not well-informed of the facts.
The author points out that we sometimes self-sabotage when it comes to medications by paying too much attention to uninformed opinions. He writes that “we are bombarded in today’s world by things that are basically total utter bullshit. We have a tendency to let that impact us. We have a tendency to look in the wrong places and do the wrong things.” So, so true. He gave the example of a friend of his who had suicided after stopping meds because of criticism he received.
The book includes a discussion around the importance of recognizing and dealing with triggers. Attention is also given to effective communication, conflict resolution, and establishing healthy boundaries.
Throughout, there are reminders of the need to work closely with mental health care professionals to help establish and follow the best possible treatment plan that will address all of the different aspects of mental health.
There is no pulling punches when it comes to expressing the author’s opinions. He admits to being blunt, and some parts seemed a bit like a controlled rant, which I very much enjoyed. One of my favourites: “… This is because idiots and their uneducated opinions regarding things they have absolutely no education and understanding in are a waste of your time to so much as even acknowledge.”
The style of writing feels more like talking voice than writing voice, with a motivational, coaching style, with a lot of directly addressing “you” as the reader. It’s a tone that I think would translate really well into an audiobook.
I found this book very refreshing. Stigma deserves a good strong kick in the ass, and this book does just that....more
Battered, Tattered, But Not Shattered: Finding The Strength In What Remains is a memoir by Marie Abanga. This is part of a series of memoir accounts, Battered, Tattered, But Not Shattered: Finding The Strength In What Remains is a memoir by Marie Abanga. This is part of a series of memoir accounts, and focuses on her abusive marriage and how she rebuilt her life afterwards.
I always enjoy Marie’s unique way with words, like this gem: “I know I have the guts to write about this, especially as an African brought up in the culture of ‘learning to wash dirty linen in your bowels’.”
The book explores Marie’s marriage, which she describes as a sham and likens to a Cold War, her eventual decision to leave him, and her journey of building her life back up again. She explains that in Cameroonian society, it is considered acceptable for men to ignore their wives to teach them proper submissiveness. What began as emotional abuse escalated to physical as well as financial abuse and forced sexual intercourse.
Once she made the difficult decision to leave her husband and leave her children behind, she fled to the wilderness, which she defines as “any place where there is simply no ‘sunshine’ or hope for a near good ending.” She made her way to Dubai, then on to Tanzania where she worked with the International Criminal Court for Rwanda, and then on to Belgium to pursue further education.
She describes the culture shock of moving to Belgium, and refers to herself as a Mary Just Come. However, she “Dared 2 Dare” and, with the support of a Super Superhero took advantage of the opportunities that became available to her. The book follows her transition from a Mary Just Come to a Mary Knows Plenty.
She shares a list of 36 lessons she had learned over 36 years of life, concluding with: “Baring myself in my memoir was the most dreadful thing l did to my family, the most therapeutic thing l did for myself, and an amazing thing l did for my community.”
She also writes about the experience of losing her day-old daughter, and concludes the book with a touching letter to her.
What was perhaps most interesting for me with this book was the insight it gave into Cameroonian culture and attitudes towards marriage and family. It was also interesting to read about Marie’s experience of culture shock adjusting from living in Africa to living in Europe. And of course as always, Marie’s personality is very much infused into her writing. A fascinating read.
Swinging Sanity is the first book of poetry by N.F. Mirza.
The book is organized according to five themes, beginning with screaming numbness and endingSwinging Sanity is the first book of poetry by N.F. Mirza.
The book is organized according to five themes, beginning with screaming numbness and ending with random reflections. Each section begins with an illustration depicting different facets of the author along with a relevant quote.
The poems vary in length, ranging from a few lines to just over two pages. Each one is raw and rich with emotion. She combines words in creative and often unexpected ways. Some of my favourite lines were:
“Purity is splashed with gunk”
“Sooty naïve torn to tatters”
“Announced under spell of poisonous stupidity”
“Women’s laughs have shrunk to grim shut lips”
“And my eyes dry to cracked grey stones”
And of course any coffee addict is sure to enjoy the poem Dude! Where Is My Coffee?
This was a captivating book, and hopefully this will be the first poetry collection of many from N.F. Mirza....more
What Is the Worst Case Scenario? by Marie Abanga includes a foreword by mental health advocate and Olympian Amy Gamble. For anyone familiar with MarieWhat Is the Worst Case Scenario? by Marie Abanga includes a foreword by mental health advocate and Olympian Amy Gamble. For anyone familiar with Marie's blog, you will very much recognize her distinctive voice in this book.
Marie explains that writing this book was "my journey to a new me, a me who wants to keep facing and fighting fear, and also a me who wants to share with the world in all candidness." She shows her own evolution from FEAR as in Fold Everything And Run to instead Face Everything And Rise.
This memoir covers the birth of her sons, her marriage that turned out to be a sham, and her her own mental health challenges. She shares that while pregnant with her third son things became so desperate that she picked up a knife and was ready to end her life. It was feeling her son kicking inside her that saved her.
After her marriage ended, she left her sons at home in her native country of Cameroon and went to live in Belgium. While living there she had to deal with the death of her brother as well as others stressors, and she became depressed and started having panic attacks.
She writes about the various fears she has had to tackle, including fear of failure, fear of love, and fear of being happy.
She explains that in Cameroon, mental illness tends to be attributed to "witchcraft, greed, or maybe a crazy lineage." Inspired in part by her brother's experience of mental illness before his death, she chose to become a mental health advocate. She writes: "Whenever I smell stigma, I spray more spirit on the open cut to burn it out and tell it to its darkness that I am an over-comer." She includes posts that other bloggers have shared about stigma. Throughout the book there are also quotes included from various inspirational sources, including Maya Angelou.
This story captures Marie's spirit and ability to persevere through adversity. She has chosen to be vulnerable in sharing her story, and in doing so demonstrates how much strength there is in vulnerability....more
My Brother's Journey: From Genius To Simpleton by Marie Abanga is a moving tribute to her younger brother Gabriel, whose life was taken away far too sMy Brother's Journey: From Genius To Simpleton by Marie Abanga is a moving tribute to her younger brother Gabriel, whose life was taken away far too soon by mental illness. It includes not only Marie's words, but also the words of others who knew and loved her brother.
In the book she shares what a kind person he was with great personal and academic promise until illness entered his life and irreversibly changed him. The "simpleton" reference in the title reflects the challenges he had with performing basic tasks towards the end of his life. The book includes letters he had written, which showed a clear decline given that he had previously done very well in school.
He was diagnosed with epilepsy while he was still in school, and had multiple hospitalizations. He was later diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. He moved to Germany to further his studies, but ended up being deported because his illness was uncontrolled. Marie shares how difficult it was when he returned home to Cameroon; it was difficult to tell which parts of what he was saying were real and which were not, and she described him as resembling a ghost.
He later was able to get a visa to move to the United States. At the time, it was thought that it would be the best thing for his health, and perhaps the "black magic" that affected him might not be able to cross the ocean. However, his health further deteriorated there. Marie describes the numerous challenges in trying to get adequate care for him, made even more difficult by the fact that his immediate family was back in Cameroon, and Marie was unable to get a visa to go to the U.S.
When the family were informed that Gabriel had died, the cause was unknown. Marie is openly critical of the health care system that let him down. In particular she condemns the institution where he was held after an altercation with police. She shares a letter her mother had written to the institution asking that his medical needs be addressed, but this seems to have fallen on deaf ears.
Marie writes about the stigma around mental illness in Africa, where the subject is considered taboo. Those who are ill may be shunned by their families and rejected by their communities, and may be talked of as being wicked, bewitched, or possessed.
What really stood out for me was the prevailing attitudes in Cameroon regarding mental illness. I've heard that ideas such as black magic exist, but this book really brought it to life. It's also interesting that he seemed to do the best when he was in Cameroon, and worse when he was in countries with supposedly more advanced health care systems. This is a sad story of a very promising young man who fell through the cracks – the very wide cracks – in the health care system. ...more
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