I imagine that my friends and followers are divided into two camps right now.
Group 1. Those who have relished every sarcastic update and laughed at evI imagine that my friends and followers are divided into two camps right now.
Group 1. Those who have relished every sarcastic update and laughed at every gif. Thank you. You are the audience this frustrated stand-up comedian lives for. *blows kiss*
Group 2. Tolkienite purists who are breathing a sigh of relief that I am no longer desecrating LOTR with my irreverent sense of humor. Ehhh . . . I don't reaaaallly understand why you love this book so much? but I still really like you and hope we can remain friends! <3
Ammendment: All of my Tolkienite friends have been exceedingly gracious about my updates and exhibited the most wonderful sense of humor. I am grateful for you for putting up with my silliness. :P Making all of you a laugh with my comedy routine brings me joy.
I may, someday, write a full review or a blog post.
Someday, when I'm tired of having any friends (since I won't have any when you're doing reading it :/)
Suffice it to say that I walked into this book ALMOST as torn as Frodo Baggins as he debates on whether to go to Mordor or Minas Tirith.
Being a fairly broad-minded person with very wide tastes in reading, I was prepared to like this book and being converted from my previous opinions.
On the other hand, I am also naturally suspicious of anything that is widely popular, with a strong instinct to run in the opposite direction of the herd. And, being a person that loves to fly in the face of convention, I must confess a certain glow of rebellious contentment that I have walked through these pages and not been pulled in by the planet-wide, mass adoration of Tolkien and his works. The Ring does not corrupt or tempt ALL, my friends! #KIDDING
Can I see strong writing skills or a (very few) good points to the story? The answer, my Fellowship, is yes! But, this book, like the Ring, is a tricky and burdensome thing to a no-nonsense dwarfess, such as myself.
However, I shall refrain from further comment because I have not yet read the entire trilogy. To express a full opinion now would be akin to judging A New Hope without having seen the entire Star Wars trilogy. This is merely the first chapter.
Whether or not I turn the next page to The Two Towers or not is still, as yet, undecided. Consider me cloistered in a inner council similar to one of the endless "should we, or shouldn't we?" debates that grace the pages of The Fellowship of the Rings.
So, for now, you may consider your beloved Middle-Earth safe as I pack up my cheeky sense of humor and leave your Shire in peace. That troublesome and peculiar Baggins is leaving the Shire with a great to-do and a bang. Consider the "professional disturbance" gone from your midst . . . for the moment.
After all, a wizardess cannot resist poking her nose into trouble anymore than she can resist fireworks - even if she might burn her fingers in the process.
Well, me hearties, I’m a disappointed pirate. This should have been a ripping good voyage, but I’d be a liar to say it was. I may be aDNF / SKIM-READ
Well, me hearties, I’m a disappointed pirate. This should have been a ripping good voyage, but I’d be a liar to say it was. I may be a burglar, but I like to think I'm an honest one.
This ship’s log was as dry as powder – it was very difficult to read as far as I did. There were one or two singularly funny entries which stood out all the more because the rest of the log was decidedly not funny.
Aside from that, we’ve a rum crew onboard. Other than a very cute stone gargoyle with a love for Treasure Island, the rest of the lot are the same old, tired and annoying crew you find on other ships.
For the last straw, this ship kept raising the colors of feminism. All the female characters are perfect and capable in every way whereas all the men in the story misfire like a badly-trained gun crew.
As for the voyage itself, it seemed at first that we might have something interesting on our hands bur then our ship was taken-all-a-back by a hurricane of cliches followed by a violent boarding by the Pirate League of Tropes who insisted that our main crew member be nothing more than the: “I’m a girl so I hate embroidery and dresses and I can do anything a boy can do” character.
I don’t know about you, my fellow freebooters, but this sort of trope and character just takes all the fun out of pirating and sits worse in my stomach than a bottle of bad grog.
In conclusion, too much ballast and poor navigation sent this ship right down to Davy Jones Locker before it had barely cleared the harbor.
Tis a shame, but after following this poorly drawn map for a time, I finally skipped to the end expecting to find treasure and found nought but an empty chest.
Give no quarter and slip this book the black spot, mateys for it tain’t worth a particle of your piratical time....more