I only wish there was more aimed at the ADHD partner. I also felt uncomfortable that some clearly abusive scenarios were being mentioned in context ofI only wish there was more aimed at the ADHD partner. I also felt uncomfortable that some clearly abusive scenarios were being mentioned in context of "how ADHD people act" and not addressed as abusive and unacceptable regardless of neurodivergence. I read this cover to cover and found it illuminating but mostly from a "I'll have to have my husband read this" standpoint than from a "this is how I can work on my behaviour in this relationship" standpoint. Overall I liked it and especially enjoyed all the individual testimony....more
I wasn't so keen on this book. There were a few helpful suggestions and I liked the breakdown of medications and explanation of how they work, but a lI wasn't so keen on this book. There were a few helpful suggestions and I liked the breakdown of medications and explanation of how they work, but a lot of the book just wasn't relevant to my experience. There was a huge portion dedicated to "do you have adhd" and how to be diagnosed, which is a stage I am already past, and then there was a significant amount of time spent on much more severe effects of impulsiveness such as drug use, criminality, being unable to manage your temper/speak to others with respect, and dangerous and deadly driving. It just didn't apply to my experience and was significantly more "tough love" than I want or need to read. I feel like this book was written with the classic male hyperactive/impulsive/disruptive ADHD person in mind. Maybe it would be helpful to him, but it certainly missed the mark for me at most times.
For the things I really do have serious issues with such as overspending, disorganization, inattentiveness to people I love, and issues controlling my weight, I didn't feel like any terribly useful suggestions were put forward. I remember rolling my eyes at being told I'm "not important enough" to need a smartphone, which is patently ridiculous because my smartphone's calendar function that syncs across all my devices and allows me to input multiple reminder alerts is the only way I really cope with my ADHD on a day to day basis at all, and the suggestion that I tape a picture of a hot/thin celebrity to my fridge to keep me from impulse eating is just absolutely laughable to me.
I just didn't find this book helpful to my particular experience with ADHD. If you're an impulsive/hyperactive man who moves from job to job and drives fast and furious and gets on the wrong side of the law, maybe this book will be more relevant to you and your experience.
Loved this book! It was easy to read and understand, and resonated with me deeply at multiple points. I really appreciated its approach toward the feeLoved this book! It was easy to read and understand, and resonated with me deeply at multiple points. I really appreciated its approach toward the feelings of inadequacy you can experience when you aren't able to maintain a household, plan meals, or keep track of appointments as well as other women seem to do.
The only thing that frustrated me was at times it would bring up issues that rang true (such as your inattentiveness affecting your kids emotionally in a negative way) but wouldn't really go into detail on how to resolve or work on those issues. The solutions and advice it did have though, were very realistic, thoughtfully explained and seemed like it would all be worth trying. Will definitely be re-reading with a highlighter and attempting to apply some of her helpful suggestions....more
idk. there were parts of this I really liked but parts I found incredibly frustrating. I'm not hot for SWAT and action manly man heroes so that reallyidk. there were parts of this I really liked but parts I found incredibly frustrating. I'm not hot for SWAT and action manly man heroes so that really flat for me, and I felt like the BDSM sexual arc of the story was built up and then disappeared into more average alpha male and the one woman who melts his heart meh. The final sex scene was completely vanilla, and though there was a throwaway reference to their ongoing kink dynamic, I didn't get to see them exploring domination and submission as a committed couple, so I kind of felt cheated as a reader going in with a certain expectation.
Which is very much a case of THIS BOOK WAS NOT WRITTEN EXACTLY HOW I WANTED IT TO BE WITH MY SPECIFIC PREFERENCES IN MIND WAH WAH WAH. ;)
If you're into brooding alpha SWAT manly abs heroes but would like a slightly different take on sexual dynamics with them, this book may be a perfect fit for you....more
Let me explain you a thing: I love series like Rome and Spartacus for their decadent, wicked, delightI can't even describe how much I loved this book.
Let me explain you a thing: I love series like Rome and Spartacus for their decadent, wicked, delightfully despicable female noblewomen characters. This book is like that: except with wall to wall sex. Princess Shanyin is unapologetic, powerful, lustful . . . and her world is spinning out of control thanks to the behaviour of her brother, the Emperor. There's political intrigue, danger, violence, and THIRTY MALE CONCUBINES. and one nobleman she's compelled to serve her, who won't submit and thus becomes the object of the title Obsession.
It's so sexy and luscious, and I loved Princess Shanyin from the first line of the first page. Will be purchasing and devouring the next two books in this series in short order.
Highly recommended if you, like me, enjoy powerful, shameless women getting into all kinds of trouble in debauched historical settings.
And orgies. And threesomes. And so much pussy eating.
:melts into a puddle:
oh and before you think this is all sex sex sex, there's genuine danger and violence and heartbreak and fear, too.
If premium cable made a miniseries of this with a cast of the world's sexiest East Asian actors, I could die happy....more
Reasons I hated this book: - the cliche setup. which probably wasn't cliche back when it was written (way back in 2004 which is like a million yeaARGH!
Reasons I hated this book: - the cliche setup. which probably wasn't cliche back when it was written (way back in 2004 which is like a million years ago when dinosaurs still roamed the earth in ebook years), but nowadays it's like OH LORD UNDERCOVER COP IN AN EXCLUSIVE BDSM CLUB FULL OF BEAUTIFUL RICH BDSM PEOPLE SOLVING BDSM MURDERS! - head hopping. not only did the POV switch between the two mains from paragraph to paragraph without warning or fanfare, but we occasionally got to pop into other (seriously secondary) characters' heads as well. I found this super jarring. I dunno if it was supposed to be omniscient or what, but I definitely much prefer a close limited third POV, and if you do too, now you know. - constant harping on about how the lead is an Alpha Alpha Alpha. this isn't a trope I like AT ALL and when it's drilled in endlessly the way it was here, it just makes me roll my eyes. which I did . . . a lot. not exactly the response you're looking for in an erotic thriller. - the use of the term "murderess", completely straight faced, like this is some victorian penny dreadful instead of a modern novel. it was just . . . weird. gendering "murderer" that way is just so cheezy and lurid and I couldn't take seriously the concept that an officer of the law would ever use it - the sex, despite being in a book of femdom/malesub, eventually denegrating into ME MAN YOU WOMAN ME TAKE YOU I AM ALPHA MALE bullshit that had me yawning. why establish such a sexy, uncliche dynamic . . . and then just bait and switch me with the same shitty e-rom tropes of a million other bdsm novels (which I normally DO NOT read? for a reason!) I liked a powerful masculine man (although gag me at calling him ~alpha~) being a sexual submissive. it's what drew me into the novel, but then partway through the story that just . . . stopped. it was like two different novels pasted together. one with a guy getting his ass plugged while a woman taunted and teased him and walked away . . . and the other him ~taking her like an animal~ etc etc etc - the bdsm 101 infodumping. not only did it feel like a constant lecture on bdsm as if it was some kind of alien orientation outside of average human understanding, but sometimes it felt . . . downright condescending and dismissive of ~Vanilla~ relationships and people? Vanilla sex isn't as intense, Vanilla relationships aren't as dedicated, Vanilla people just don't "get it" and are closed minded and shitty. at the beginning I just skimmed because I'm no BDSM newcomer and found the info boring and unnecessary to the story, but as it wore on it started to remind me of encounters with the worst kind of straight kinksters. no thanks on that one. once again, all this might be a product of its times. BDSM fiction is barely outside of the mainstream anymore (and some subgenres/tropes have gone COMPLETELY mainstream) whereas this book may have had more obstacles to overcome for understanding. - the identity of the "murderess" (view spoiler)[ who was one of the two only black women of the book. the other, her twin sister, was an incestuous abuser who also attempted murder at one point. left a really bad taste in my mouth (hide spoiler)] - the mystery in general was just sort of meh. there was no setup where potential suspects were introduced and then slowly ruled out. instead, there was a paragraph that brought up a couple potentials, and then immediately ruled them out, and then a paragraph later the true murderer revealed herself. we didn't see the investigation, any of the detective work. this book really could have just been about the whole Alpha Submissive and his inward struggle and left the whole murder mystery conceit behind. if you're going to write a mystery, then write it, I guess? it felt like a whole lot of window dressing. - at one point our alpha sub declares he doesn't use or need safewords and his Dom doesn't immediately tell him to shape up or ship out. she does give him a safe word (which he immediately swears he'll never use), but I just wasn't comfortable with her going ahead with him knowing that was his intention. I like my consensual books consensual. - hero had a moustache, yuck.
Reasons I loved this book: - male sub with chest hair - reluctant assplay :P~~~~~~ (at first, see above)
I'm so desperate for a book about a male submissive and a female dominant that I read through this despite my constant irritation at multiple tropes that really are Not For Me. the sex sure was hot in the beginning, but man, it just makes me wish I could find and read a femdom book that's more in line with my reading tastes. ...more
this was a very refreshing change from the usual highlander romance (which I love but have grown bored of the sameness of)
the heroine is lovely everythis was a very refreshing change from the usual highlander romance (which I love but have grown bored of the sameness of)
the heroine is lovely every moment and every word, and the hero has his moments too. I just wish it were longer! I think this story absolutely could have shone as a fatter historical with some more intrigue and secondary conflict....more
Read this in one quick, breezy session on an airplane, which is perfect because it was a light, sexy, romantic read, just what I love on a plane. TheRead this in one quick, breezy session on an airplane, which is perfect because it was a light, sexy, romantic read, just what I love on a plane. The two heroines were both likeable and relatable, and the dialogue was funny and natural, which is something I always appreciate in a romance. There was a moment early in the book involving a makeup mishap that had me saying aloud, "Love these girls!", and that feeling carried all through the book.
It could have done with being longer and with having some side-plots developed more. There were some secondary characters I thought were going to have more complex arcs but ended up kind of disappearing in favour of the story's focus on the leads. Which isn't a problem, but obviously I was invested enough in these little b-plots that I wanted more story and more resolution. However, the main romance was developed in a satisfying way, with a realistic New Adult happily-for-now ending that suggested a supportive, loving relationship that could grow into something more long term, which I find more realistic than a HEA for characters in this life stage.
I'd be happy to revisit this world, because all of the supporting characters were appealing and intriguing, even if we only saw a little bit of them. I'd read ten books about Treasure's coworkers at the strip club finding love TBQH.
Trigger warning for this book that (view spoiler)[one of the leads is a survivor of suicide and this is explored as a part of her past. I thought it was handled with realism, dignity, and heart, and it had realistic fallout within the story. As a survivor myself, it had me tearing up a little. I thought it was well-handled, but I understand that others might not be comfortable with the topic in their pleasure/escapism reading, or at least not without warning. (hide spoiler)]
All in all a really lovely New Adult book that represents the age group more accurately and with more authenticity than some others, and a good example of how good and worthwhile the genre can be.
And yeah, I can't say enough about how cute and funny the two leads were together. So charming. Like, keysmash charming....more