Really adorable, sweet, beautiful short chapter in the Maiden Lane series. Seeing all the heroines with their husbands and children was all kinds of cReally adorable, sweet, beautiful short chapter in the Maiden Lane series. Seeing all the heroines with their husbands and children was all kinds of cute. LOVE THIS ENSEMBLE CAST SO MUCH! The perfect epilogue (why didn't this go in the freaking book?!) to Duke of Midnight. 💖...more
*0.75 star because I can round up ratings too just like Mara Hanover*
This is on me because I clearly had no business attempting to reDNF @ 20%
*0.75 star because I can round up ratings too just like Mara Hanover*
This is on me because I clearly had no business attempting to read this after my experience with The Gamble. When I put an author on my 'Never Again’ list, I seriously mean it. Abide by the list Melody! Justdoit! The number of times I’ve given ‘no no’ authors a second chance and it blows up in my face is just laughable.
Why do I keep doing this?
Pretty much all the same gripes I had in The Gamble happened here. I could go on and on about the absurd writing flaws. The typos, poor grammar, bad punctuation, run-ons, and all the ‘uming’ ‘uhing’ the heroine keeps stuttering out. But I won’t. Just read my Gamble review.
Same issue I had with the last one I had here, the heroine Mara acted like a confused child where everything needed to be explained to her by the hero. Literally explained. And the hero walks all over her and talks to her like she's a simpleton, which I honestly couldn't blame in this case. I just don’t understand what KA was attempting to show by this? Are her heroines only gifted with their brains once they meet the hero? 😒 The fact that a grown woman couldn’t comprehend why her druggie adult cousin was arrested because he had drug paraphernalia out and with kids around just boggles my mind. Seriously Mara??? Jesus.
Before I move on I will say this, the problem with KA’s storytelling is that the first person narration sounds like it’s coming from an overeager toddler who is telling you about their day in rambling, incoherent, verbal diarrhea pointless detail and getting hung up on the smallest things that has no relevance to the overall story. And repeating themselves. CONSTANTLY.
It takes a whole paragraph to say one thing that can be said in one.👏 single.👏 sentence.👏 How is this author so popular? 😩 I don't understand. Get an editor Kristen Ashley, please! Because I promise you, nobody needs to know exactly how the heroine positions her body or places her elbows when she's fucking standing. 😒 I get the overall picture just fine.
In this case:
Now why I gave this a chance? Because of the blurb. I’m such a helpless sucker for shy awkward heroines and the whole neighbor thing was another element I usually enjoy. But this rubbed me the wrong way right off the bat and I’ll tell you why. The heroine Mara.
For someone who is supposedly very shy and very insecure about themselves, please explain to me why this girl is going around rating people based on their looks?? I would love for KA to explain it because this just seriously blew my mind.
Roberta had been a Seven when I met her because she was pretty, petite, with thick brunette hair and a little extra weight that she held well. She was also happy with her family and her husband in their suburban house with two cars and vacations to Disney World. She'd slipped down to a Five Point Five when she got angry and moody and hated the world and mostly all the men in it after her husband left. Now she was back up and surpassed the Seven to be an Eight because she'd settled into her new life...
I didn't understand what she was saying, but explaining to her what the likes of me meant was was explaining to her my One to Ten Classification System. I didn't want to do that, especially explaining where I felt I came in on the scale. I'd learned not to share this information, because friends who cared about you always tried to talk you into believing you were so far up that scale it was unreal. My oldest friend, Lynette, who still lived back in Iowa, was the only person I'd told about my system. She even tried to talk me into believing I topped the scale at Mitch's rank of Ten Point Five. She was convinced of it and tried to convince me. I knew she was wrong and I knew she was convinced I was a Ten Point Five because she liked me. I liked her too. She was a definite Eight Point Five. When she was in a good mood and her sunny disposition shone even more brightly, she soared up to a Nine Point Five, she had nothing to worry about.
Now just imagine this kind of observation on the very first page of the book. I literally thought it was the hero's POV with the side-eyeing and internal rating system and had to re-read it a couple of times to understand. But no, this was all coming from 'sweet shy' skittery as a deer Mara. Apparently someone who is so messed up in their head about their own looks and how others view her, she thinks it's totally fine to go around giving mental scores on others appearances.
Excuse my bluntness but I just found this character so fucking stupid.
And a total useless asshole.
She's an insult to shy, insecure, awkward women in real life. The lack of intelligence she displayed in just the first 50 pages is astoundingly painful.
"Mitch, the kids-" I breathed. "First, we're goin' to Lola's and giving them a good meal." I blinked at him. Lola's? Lola's? Lola's was awesome and had absolutely fantastic food, but it was also not what the kids were used to. It wasn't fancy, but it wasn't Taco Bell, either, and it wasn't exactly inexpensive. I hadn't actually asked Mitch to accompany me, but since he did, I thought we'd pop to the nearest fast-food joint, go through a drive-thru and get the kids home. After, I would do whatever it was I was going to have to do at Bill's, then get home and away from Mitch.
Right. Take the kids back to a housebroken home after feeding them the same junk food they always eat at home (if they are lucky). G-d forbid the idea of a good decent restaurant should have ever entered your skull without macho Mitch around. And hey asshole: How is dumping the kids back home with their neglectful father fixing the issue you just said you needed to step in and fix? 🙈
"You stood me up." "I didn't." "Mara, you did and you did it, essentially, twice." My head jerked to face him again and I snapped, "No, I didn't!" He shook his head and muttered, "Jesus, you got your head so far up your ass it's a wonder you can breathe." "Pardon?" I hissed. "You heard me." "Yes," I bit out, "I did, and what you said was not very nice." "No, baby, it wasn't but it was the fuckin' truth." Was I sitting in Detective Mitch Lawson's SUV fighting with him? Two Point Fives didn't fight with Ten Point Fives. It was against the laws of the universe. How did this happen? "I don't have my head up my ass!" I snapped somewhat loudly. "You live in a whole different world," he retorted. "Do not!"
"He's still got that guy comin' over all the time, and I don't like him. He's a creep. And I don't like him around Billie. He's sugar sweet to her and it freaks me out. Gives her candy. Tells her she's pretty. It's weird." Billy had been telling me about "that guy" for a while, and Billy had good instincts, so I figured whoever "that guy" was, he wasn't a good guy. And what he said about how "that guy" treated Billie made my stomach clench and my mouth taste sour.
Your nine-year old cousin has been telling you a creep has been hanging around his six year old sister for months and you haven't done shit about it since now?
He didn't hide his liquor from me or his kids, which was something I didn't like. I knew how weird and uncomfortable it was seeing a parent drink all the time, drink until they were fall-down, crazy, stupid and sometimes mean drunk. And I didn't want that for Billy and Billie. But it wasn't illegal, and to my knowledge it didn't happen often.
I seriously started to question how this woman got out of bed everyday and dressed herself.
I moved, opened the door a bit and stood in it. "Hey," I said, and the minute my eyes hit him, I again felt like crying. They needed to separate the zones. Mandatory boundaries. Ones to Threes got Canada (because there were a lot of us and we needed the space). Fours to Sixes got the US. The fewer numbered Sevens to Tens got the sultry, tropical beauty of Mexico. If they separated us, things like this wouldn't happen and therefore hurt like this wouldn't be felt.
"You need to quit talking," I blurted and wished I could clap my hands over my mouth because I sounded like a fool. I should have lied to him earlier. I should have kicked him in the shin and run away.
"Mitch--" He dumped the scrambled eggs into the waiting melted butter in the skillet and looked at me. "Get the butter and jelly baby." I moved to the fridge and I did this mostly because if he told me to throw myself in front of a train but did it adding the word "baby," I would have done it.
Mara Hanover is a complete waste of ink and paper IMO.
So yeah. Lesson learned.
Me and Kristen Ashley books do not mix well. 👋...more