What idiotic incoherent dramatic mess was this Julianne MacLean?
Jesus on a stick.
This had a really promising start. A rakehell hero and an AmericanWhat idiotic incoherent dramatic mess was this Julianne MacLean?
Jesus on a stick.
This had a really promising start. A rakehell hero and an American heiress "spitfire" (😂). They meet under accidental clandestine circumstances when the heroine ends up at the wrong ball and meets the hero incognito. Both are enamored (turned on) by each other immediately and can’t stop thinking about each other. And the story goes from there.
What started to make things buckle however was the obsessive focus on the hero’s sigh-inducing good looks and all his nonstop talk about his pleasure giving skills and wanting to boink the heroine. Like….we get it. He’s an Adonis. He wants to bone the girl. Please, move on. Every paragraph you are reminded how amazingly stunning this guy is, how perfect, beautiful and gorgeous he is that it quickly made things two-dimensional and overdone. Instant. mood killer. I honestly thought MacLean had a lady boner herself for this hero with how she kept waxing poetic about him. Unreal. I don't think I've ever read the words 'gorgeous' and 'beautiful' more in one book.
I mean you want to talk about purple prose...
He was the personification of sexuality. Charismatic, erotic and enticing, he made her quiver from within and forget all the concerns of the day. All that mattered when he touched her was that he continued to touch her, with his expert hands and his astounding talent to please. All she wanted was his body.
“But you made me promise,” he replied, ribbing her on, without withdrawing from the tight, sopping heat of her womanhood.
His whole being shook with excitement as the swollen head of his desire came to a quiet pause at the entrance to her dark, divine haven.
He was still inside her, moving with the hypnotic cadence of a poem.
Her breath caught in her throat at the awesome sight of him.
She recognized his acute sexual instinct alerting to her desires.
Because of the endless Odes to Seger Wolfe's Sexual Prowess, the connection between the leads is questionable at best and doesn’t come off genuine or deep through most of the story. And that starts to show when they are continuously tested. The lack of trust between the two is bounced between them like a hot potato through 90% of the book.
She’s not sure of him. He’s not sure of her. She doesn’t trust him. He doesn’t trust her. She trusts him. He trusts her. Wait...she doesn’t trust him. Omg....he doesn’t trust her. She kinda?....trusts him. He sort of?...trusts her.
And can I just point out that having your hero feeling a sense of doom and dissatisfaction after the couple say their wedding vows isn’t the greatest sign that these two are a good match? I'm just saying. I was cringing. It almost seemed like he wasn’t marrying the heroine with how the author approached it. These two honestly should have just humped each other in the shadowy alcove beneath the stairs at the Pleasure ball and call it a day and part ways.
If anything Clara and Seger's relationship is summed up perfectly in the dialogue itself which would be ironic if it wasn't so sad:
He did not want to delve into her emotions. He wanted only light conversation and sex. All he knew was how to be casual.
Their whole relationship is purely based on lust. Period. The author brings that home endlessly with how little they know each other and Seger constantly putting on his rakish charm and seducing Clara whenever things got too emotional and personal because “he doesn’t know how to handle female emotions”. Oh please.
Now enter the third party interloper(s): Seger’s stepmother Quintina and his shy quiet wallflower cousin Gillian who secretly has been in love with him since she was a child. Never mind the fact that this girl has done nothing to try and win him over through the years except stare at her feet and not say more than 3 words to him but I digress. The minute they find out that Seger is saying au revoir to debauched bachelorhood, these 2 try to get rid of Clara by any means because Seger "belongs to Gillian".
Clara, you in danger girl.
At first I didn’t mind this, seeing a quiet character who flies under the radar start to slowly crack was interesting. But when it became obvious that conniving Gillian's only purpose was to simply drive a bigger wedge between Seger and Clara with even more distrust and jealousy, I started to lose my patience. I cannot stand meddling party tropes, hate hate haaaaaate it. Triangles I don't mind. This? Hell no. Especially when it’s dragged out so long and the sole purposed is for the hero to constantly question the heroine’s innocence. It’s so cheap and gimmicky to me. Of course Clara catches on that Gillian is in love with Seger and shares her suspicions with Seger only for him to laugh it off and give her “girl, you are crazy” looks. #triggered 😫 This shit makes my eye twitch like nothing else. Not only is it unnecessary but it makes the hero come off like an oblivious asshole.
Attention Authors: It’s NEVER a good look for your hero to side with the third party meddler over the heroine (who happens to be his wife in this case). Never ever. It's just nonsensical. I love angst and discord but not this kind. Especially when the heroine hasn’t given him enough reasons to not believe her word. I really wish authors would stop using this annoying ploy because it only does more damage and makes the couple’s HEA look very questionable. Take this outdated trope OFF your storyboard and move on to the next.
*steps off soap box*
To be completely honest, I thought both the hero and heroine acted like irrational confused stupid dingbats with all the back and forth blame game. At first, I couldn’t entirely blame Clara’s mistrust of Seger considering how every time they are together in public one of his former paramours saunters up nearly gropes him and pretty much waves their “heeey we used to fuck, do you want to do it again?” freak flag right in front of Clara and Seger is very blase about it. So I got her frustration at first. But after awhile......this girl was seriously making my hand itch wanting to slap some sense into her with her irrational obsessive paranoid behavior. Her quick 180 emotional jumps is a test in patience. He kisses another woman's hand and OMG HE'S CHEATING ON HER! 😒
And I have to say for the "wild" reckless Wilson sister, Clara was rather insipid and fickle through most of this book. With all the constant wavering and emotional see-sawing, her much toted "no nonsense" personality slips away quickly.
Now Seger’s unfounded mistrust starts when he finds out (no thanks to evil Stepmama) Clara didn’t divulge the full story of her scandalous broken engagement from 3 years ago. She didn’t tell him that the fiance she was planning to run off with was arrested for embezzlement.
Seger is angry because she didn’t tell him the full story, as if the rest of the story she left out reflects on any part of her character or is important. And it's not, at all. *crickets* I failed to understand why he got so high and mighty over this since the missing detail was a totally moot point and again....HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH CLARA. But let’s ignore this reaching contrivity and keep on slugging on with the misery.
So readers have to sit through the annoying mousy vile cousin planting seeds of doubt in Clara’s head, telling her lies and making backhanded but very pointed insults to her while Clara tries to deal with it and ignore it. And every time Clara figures something is off, Seger either doesn’t believe her and thinks she’s jealous or his stepmother Quintina runs interference when Clara asks for help from her family. Copy, paste, repeat, copy, paste, repeat.
At this point I was beyond ready to give up. I don’t like reading books that give me anxiety and make me angry. And this was making me seriously angry. So angry I jumped ahead first to see how this would all end because I seriously wanted Seger or Clara to go all Game of Thrones on Gillian’s ass. But oho! Guess what happens next? Holy unnecessary PLOT TWIST Batman! (view spoiler)[Seger’s deceased first love Daphne who was the only woman he was planning to ever marry (and who Clara is jealous of for some idiotic reason) is not dead after all!😱😱 (hide spoiler)]
Dun dun dunnnn!
Are you kidding me?
This book has everything and the kitchen sink thrown in. The author tried to do too much and tried very hard to make this story as miserable and convoluted complicated as possible. If you have your characters not making any sense and contradicting themselves on the very same page then you know you've written your story into a ditch. A muddy, sticky, sloppy deep ditch with no way out. The last stunt was so unnecessary and ridiculous that I'm surprised this book didn't end up being 500 pages since it seemed endless. And yes in case you were wondering, this undead person is used as ANOTHER source of contention/angst/jealousy/mistrust between the hero and heroine. At the fucking 90% mark. *bangs head*
Judith MacNaught is that you? I mean, seriously. Come on. I was laughing at this point because if anything, this just showed that these two are so ill suited and don’t belong together. I mean on top of everything else, it wasn't enough that we have to endure hearing about Seger's long lost love and Clara's annoying histrionic jealousy over his dead first love Daphne--which I found exceedingly WTF ridiculous---but the last 30% was Daphne this, Daphne that, Daphne, Daphne, Daphne.
And the fact that she's used as a final "test" for the couple?
And she's yet another woman who wants to throw her cooch at the Adonis pleasure-stick-on-two-legs hero?
I'm so glad it's over. 😓😭["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>...more