My favorite books are always the ones that I continually quote throughout and find I simply MUST repeat the character’s liTwo words: Freaking Awesome.
My favorite books are always the ones that I continually quote throughout and find I simply MUST repeat the character’s lines without fail like every other paragraph. Seriously. And Finned went like this:
“He kept staring at my legs. Did my jeans offend him?” *chuckle*snort* BB repeats line aloud to be certain it’s as funny as it sounds INSIDE my head.
It totally is! *giggle*snort* some more… 2 sentences later:
“Keep an eye on Mr. Smarmy.” *hehe* the whole process then repeats itself.
Okay, so down to business!! Were you wondering if I was actually ever getting to the REVIEW part of this ‘book review’?
Marina Valentine has been BANNISHED by a chick with “lime green hair, orange eyes, and a nose the size of Chesapeake Bay Bridge.” (you like the word pictures as much as I do, don’t you?) for reading (tarot) cards.
She apparently predicted two murders and aided terrorist mentality!! I know right? One of those murders was her very own father, and the Imperia Canon of Peculiar Malfunctions chose to ignore her, and then banish her and her mother AFTER the fact. As a part of her banishment, Marina is blocked from ANY future reading, or they’ll kill her immediately!
“Should you touch even a single card with a bare or gloved hand, we will know, as will the Imperia. Such an offense will result in your immediate execution.”
Hmmm… Smells fishy to me!!
Her and her mother are banished to Saxet Shores, Texas where the ‘Normals’ (anyone who doesn’t belong to the Ravenflames or the Fairhairs) are shunned.
“painting her nails her favorite color, Undead Red.”
… Ummm I believe I need this color. I mean REALLY.
“we’ll throw you a going-to-die party. That’s polite, right?”
Marina’s mom is simply an EPIC, EPIC character… She’s hilarious and every time she popped up in a scene, I knew laughing would soon ensue.
“My keys are gone! Someone’s stolen my keys! Wait. Found them. Let’s go.”
… This is the STORY of my life!!! Whenever I can’t find something- someone has stolen it!!!!! Until I find it in the refrigerator or somewhere equally inappropriate. *sigh*
Troy Tombolo … Fairhair and local heartthrob has stolen Marina’s attention, but they can never be together because of the social hierarchy and its plain to see that something BIGGER than meets the eye is going on.
A series of disappearances, her mother goes completely crazy and Troy FINALLY confesses his feelings for Marina in a very BOY-like way (insensitive jerks!) … and Marina isn’t sure she can take anymore. But she’s about to find out she can survive all that and MORE.
Marina was a fantastic character, her mother was SIMPLY FABULOUS and Troy had some SUPER swoon-worthy moments when his guy-filter was working…
“My heart stops when I’m near you and bleeds when I’m away from you.” *dies*
FINNED is a fun, sharp-witted tale of Merpeople, Normals, first love, some heart-pounding action and a centuries old war that everyone is still fighting.
And MerRacing?? Oh. My. God. BEST THING EVER!!! Seriously- one of the coolest freaking scenes I’ve ever read in my life. Troy is like the Kyle Busch of the Merworld. I love it!!...more
Zombie Princess Apocalypse starts out with a sort of… Scientific explanation of how the world was created or something… Yeah… I got no idea. But I wasZombie Princess Apocalypse starts out with a sort of… Scientific explanation of how the world was created or something… Yeah… I got no idea. But I was laughing thinking, “WTF is happening?” Because I do not who is talking or WHAT they’re talking about- but it’s funny as hell.
“Professor Pipsqueak, I will rouse a horde of social networking berserkers against you and you will be shamed into coming to your senses!”
Right? Lol as far as I can tell… Someone is giving a lesson on how the Earth came to be and he’s either insane- or one of those awesome teachers that you ACTUALLY learn from! One in the same am I correct?
Turns out, he’s a carny with the Brownings Traveling Oddities!
Emm was born in an igloo and orphaned by age six. Her and her stepmother, Steph, travel with the Oddities until Emm’s sixteen. Then they settle in a little town called Modesta, California and she’s never felt more out if place. As much as she hated being a carny, she hates suburbia more.
Before she was even born, Emm’s mother had a dream that Emm was supposed to basically end all of humanity to make way for a new age. Holy crap!
Her first day at a regular school doesn’t go very well at all, and Mr. Blake, the guidance counselor is a very strange little man who give her a key and tells her to go to “Mavis at the mall” and everything will turn out okay.
“It was the kind of key you’d use to open a massive treasure chest, or the diary of a giant, or prison doors from from the dark ages.”
She does meet Olly, and he is SO my kinda guy! While giving a presentation on Global Warming, he talks of surviving the Zombie Apocalyse… Complete with visual aids!
Olly stands up for Emm after the resident “mean girl”, Jessica, embarrasses her in front of the entire class. Yeah… at this point I’m hoping Jessica is ripped apart by the zombies, and there’s not even enough left of her to reanimate. Just sayin. (yeah… I feel HORRIFIC for still putting that in my review after I’ve read the whole thing!)
We’ve got Loyal John, Lucky (the REALLY OLD… super young and sexy guy), Olly, Emm and an “Devil Wears Prada” type villain chick turning everyone into zombies! Um… yes. ZPA is all sorts of fabulous!
Zombie Princess Apocalypse is really a fairy tale… with princesses, frogs, evil witches and magic. Oh! And a princess tiara that will turn you into a zombie. I was completely taken by this book. I don’t know what I was “expecting”, but I got SO much more than I could’ve hoped for! This is SUCH an awesome book, I cannot WAIT for League of Justified Vengeance to come out!!!!
Do not leisurely read this outside or in public… people will assume you’re a psycho as you laugh so hard that you begin to choke. Just sayin. Don’t say I never did anything for you.
(ZPA is one of those books that you have to read it in it’s entirety, so before you ask yourself, “THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!” Just be PATIENT! )...more