maybe, when you're a brilliant writer as it stands and you've won major awards, learning another language and refusing to write in anything but that mmaybe, when you're a brilliant writer as it stands and you've won major awards, learning another language and refusing to write in anything but that might have an effect.
possibly.
(review to come / thanks to the publisher for the e-arc)...more
i really, really, really, REALLY did not need this book's hamfisted discussion of abortion, featuring a murderous wolf abortionist and the ghost of a i really, really, really, REALLY did not need this book's hamfisted discussion of abortion, featuring a murderous wolf abortionist and the ghost of a fetus' future.
in fact i must ask...who is this for.
also they forgot a couple pretty crucial plot points here, it seems.
namely that these guys were supposed to be killed by a wolf.
why does cartoon food look so much better than real food???
that constitutes the majority of my thoughts on this.
that, and the fact that i have a love why does cartoon food look so much better than real food???
that constitutes the majority of my thoughts on this.
that, and the fact that i have a love / hate relationship with the word "supper."
this was cute and fine and i liked the art and i would like a bowl of cartoon mac and cheese, even if this book did put too much on its plate and also put blue cheese in the included and aforementioned mac and cheese recipe...
two significant crimes.
we forgive. kind of.
and probably forget about this book entirely.
bottom line: fine!
(2.5 / thanks to the publisher for the e-arc)...more
the saga continues...get it? because i'm continuing my binge read of this series? called saga?
i'm wasted on you people.
this was not my favorite one ththe saga continues...get it? because i'm continuing my binge read of this series? called saga?
i'm wasted on you people.
this was not my favorite one thus far...riddled with time jumps...pretty convoluted...lots of sweeping generalizations via narrator and time spent in the prison industrial complex...
but there is a small and perfect creature called "ghus" so it's not all Ls.
bottom line: i'm saying it again. THE SAGA CONTINUES....more
the good news is this was part of my favorite niche subgenre: True Crime That Has Since Been Solved.
the bad news is that, though this was very thoughtthe good news is this was part of my favorite niche subgenre: True Crime That Has Since Been Solved.
the bad news is that, though this was very thoughtfully researched, it was also very weird. i enjoyed the first half that carefully constructed the girls' stories, but the author's attempts to switch voices and sometimes write from within the girls' worlds came off very strange...and almost...bigoted?
beyond that the second half got bogged down in theories and had nowhere to conclude, so it felt way longer than it actually was and then kind of just drifted off.
i guess i had more to complain about than i thought.
bottom line: i try to only read true crime that won't make me feel guilty about reading it. here i did not succeed....more
this may seem like a beach read, but it's actually a fantasy novel about a millennial who is able to live in a major city, own a home in california, ethis may seem like a beach read, but it's actually a fantasy novel about a millennial who is able to live in a major city, own a home in california, eat takeout every night, and take luxury vacations on a copywriter's salary.
to which i say: lol.
by far the best part of this was the food descriptions.
everything else was mediocre to bad, ranging from silly characters to silly plots to silly writing (for example, trying to describe how time moves slower in this setting and saying "Everything was longer in Italy. Even time," when in fact time is the only thing being described).
on top of that, this is the perfect romance for all those readers out there who prefer their love interests to take advantage of drunk and/or weeping and/or mid-mental breakdown women.
dreamy!
bottom line: i want a cold glass of wine and a tomato-based appetizer in a seafront restaurant now, the lack of possibility of which will be the second way this book disappoints me.
it's summertime and you know what that means (i am now only capable of reading fluffy books).
it's also short story collection time and you know what tit's summertime and you know what that means (i am now only capable of reading fluffy books).
it's also short story collection time and you know what that means (mini reviews for each one):
STORY 1: MIDNIGHTS this is fun because i've already read this story but i have the functioning memory of a small child, or an animal without a central nervous system, so it's all new to me.
ohhhh yeah. this is the friends to lovers goodness we're looking for.
STORY 2: KINDRED SPIRITS i have also read this story. but this one i remember. so the whimsy score is slightly lower. but then slightly higher because this is also kind of the goodness we're looking for. but then lower again because not as much as the first one.
STORY 3: WINTER SONGS FOR SUMMER okay slay...i just said in a story review of a collection i read yesterday that the best thing anything can be about is a breakup. there's nothing more interesting.
guess what. still true.
STORY 4: THE SNOW BALL this is interesting because it's like if that same friends to lovers goodness we're looking for centered on a relationship in which 50% of the requisite friends were nightmare creatures, or grotesque ogre types, or draculas.
this girl is pure evil!!!
STORY 5: IF THE FATES ALLOW for all the fans who were crying out to be reminded that there is, or very recently was, a global pandemic to be concerned about while reading fluffy distraction content. even better that it focuses on a years-old side character no one was particularly into even when she had 4 lines of dialogue and roughly 1 personality trait.
the very definition of a recipe for disaster. and i didn't even mention the jello salad.
STORY 6: THE PRINCE AND THE TROLL interesting...neither of these characters are princes nor are they trolls, but this is kind of a fairytale, but there are, in fact, iPhones and starbucks.
a real worst of both worlds scenario.
STORY 7: MIXED MESSAGES this is ANOTHER story featuring side characters from ANOTHER book that no one really liked with ANOTHER covid setting. why would rainbow rowell think that anyone wants any of those things??!?
it's a landline spinoff story...my guilty pleasure book...it's so wrong and yet...so edward cullen creepy. (as in creepy but not as creepy because the guy doing it is attractive.)
still not forgivable though.
STORY 8: SNOW FOR CHRISTMAS this is, no joke, another characters-i-don't-care-about-from-an-old-book story.
i pray because this takes place in a magical land we are at least excused from the presence of the novel coronavirus.
STORY 9: IN WAITING wow. really ending on a high note. this one is so random and weird and creative and also cute and fluffy???
living the dream.
OVERALL most of these were just ok, but like 3 of them were a good time and that's really all i needed. a few goodies and the capacity to complain.
see? i'm not evil and impossible to please all the time. rating: 3...more
doing mini reviews for each short story, as i always do when i find myself with an excess of grit andcreepy scary literary short book...i'm in heaven.
doing mini reviews for each short story, as i always do when i find myself with an excess of grit and wherewithal, like a single mom flipping houses on HGTV:
STORY 1: A LIGHT, SWIFT, AND MONSTROUS SOUND oh hell yeah.
the best way, as in the most promising way, that a collection can start is with a story that you shouldn't like (in this case, one written in the second person) that you actually do like anyway (in this case, because it's jarring and descriptive and moshfeghian). rating: 4
STORY 2: ROBERTO okay, very weird...but also kind of a slay. rating: 3.5
STORY 3: UNAMUNO'S BOXES for all the girls who fantasize about getting serial-murdered by uber drivers with perfect incognito manicures. rating: 3
STORY 4: CANDY PINK another story in the second person (bad) but this one about the most interesting subject in the world (breakups) (good). rating: 4
STORY 5: ANITA AND HAPPINESS literally obsessed with the idea of a race of cute-girl-librarian aliens determined to achieve human happiness. rating: 3.5
STORY 6: DISHWASHER there's no active mental breakdown problem an expensive shopping mall purchase can't solve! and who is to say it's not alive anyway.
this one was thematically sayaka murata-y with more philosophical language...in other words, enough fun i can forgive the dialogue that is so bad it seems like an actual sin. mostly. rating: 3.5
STORY 7: EARTH there are certain topics that, fair or not, i will always find to be cheap trauma porn. certain topics that it feels like writers want to cover in a Unique Way to prove they're brilliant and edgy, and i always find unpleasant and redundant and lame. rating: 2
STORY 8: PERFECT SYMMETRY the crime fiction aspect of this: pretty dull. but the descriptions of crepe-making...now those were electric. rating: 3
STORY 9: THE WOLF'S BREATH this is a page-long story with an ending that is, without exaggeration, middle school creative writing level bad. rating: 1.5
STORY 10: TEICHER VS. NIETZCHE not a typo.
is there a better sign for a character being amazing and evil than the descriptor "ex-wife"? rating: 3.5
STORY 11: THE DEAD agustina in her james joyce era.
is there anything worse than a below average literary story written from the perspective of a child... rating: 2
STORY 12: ELENA-MARIE SANDOZ gimmicky. but not not fun. rating: 3
STORY 13: THE SLOWNESS OF PLEASURE this collection is truly bringing a whole new meaning to the term "short" story. rating: 3.5
STORY 14: NO TEARS with every passing story i am losing my ability to Read Generously. the variance in merit among these is straight-up crazy. rating: 3
STORY 15: THE CONTINUOUS EQUALITY OF THE CIRCUMFERENCE i do actually really like the way these characters think. if every one of these stories was a third-person omniscient dialogue-less relation of some freak, we'd be golden.
also if they could stop reminding me of writing assignments i turned it at 11, and relatedly the fact that the internet is forever. rating: 3.5
STORY 16: A HOLE HIDES A HOUSE really bold move to start a short story off with a borges quote. now i'm starting off thinking about excellent short stories, which thus far in this collection feels like a risk.
and it was! rating: 3
STORY 17: HELL where i am at this point.
i just remembered that i didn't like tender is the flesh. and also why i didn't. rating: 1
STORY 18: ARCHITECTURE i can't tell if these are getting worse or i'm just getting tired of them, but it feels like at least 50% of each one is completely immature. this one, for example, is back to the really great writing but is also about a topic an edgy seventh grader would be like, hell yeah about. rating: 3
STORY 19: MARY CARMINUM okay ari aster!! rating: 3.5
STORY 20: THE SOLITARY ONES of course we're finishing on another second-person story. agustina, you're messing with me at this point.
and yet again, a surprise good one when i thought i would hate it. if this is supposed to teach me a lesson, i have to tell you, i am too self-centered for that to work. rating: 3.5
OVERALL there were some excellent stories in here, and also some extremely adolescent ones. the range in quality is mind-boggling, but somehow also made it more fun to read? like russian roulette for cowardly nerds.
or maybe i just love the excuse to complain. rating: 3
turns out none of my rules (e.g., short books are better, misogyny is a hard no, i can only read like 1 lengthy fantasy novel per year) apply to murakturns out none of my rules (e.g., short books are better, misogyny is a hard no, i can only read like 1 lengthy fantasy novel per year) apply to murakami.
this was fine, but had none of the surreal magic that murakami usually does for me.
you know that feeling of when you put on a too-small shoe, or have a cozy lil bowl of chicken soup where the broth tastes like nothing (aka 99% of chiyou know that feeling of when you put on a too-small shoe, or have a cozy lil bowl of chicken soup where the broth tastes like nothing (aka 99% of chicken soups nationally), or go outside at all in any way during the winter time, or exercise, and you're just..."oh. that doesn't seem right."
that was me with this book.
this just fell flat for me. i couldn't connect. i love a devious teen as much as the next person but these folks seemed truly evil to each other, and then the instalove, and then the insta-repaired-friendship...i just couldn't.
too much and not enough.
bottom line: i don't know what it is, but it isn't for me.
at no point was i able to tell where this book was going.
and at no point did i really want to.
at the very beginning of this book, you think you have mat no point was i able to tell where this book was going.
and at no point did i really want to.
at the very beginning of this book, you think you have met your male lead, due to the fact there is banter happening and an allegedly good-looking man is present. but then you read about a series of unfortunate events, of the X-rated variety rather than of the charming evil children's book category i prefer, and you're like, never mind. can't be him. he's bad at sex.
but it is.
it is him.
and the romance in question will come to fruition (if you'll forgive the disgusting and accidental pun) as our female lead teaches him how to, you know. hanky panky. get the car rockin' so you don't come a-knockin'. attend a session of sexual congress. knock boots. delight in the afternoon.
whatever you want to call it.
unfortunately, even in the face of these bizarre and frankly undesirable circumstances, i found these characters to be the unthinkable: boring. and it turns out that is kind of an important part of a romance book. or maybe a book in general.
on top of that, i found all of the morals around this arrangement to be pretty off-putting and blah. fairly immediately, because i forgot to mention that finn (the guy) is a c-list (generous) celebrity writing a memoir (okay) that we are supposed to pretend anyone would care about (they would not) and it is ghostwritten by chandler (the girl) (his employee), the ol' mind palace jumps to oh, this is sexual harassment.
no matter how shy or freckly or Old World Charming he is, your boss asking you in a shared hotel / airbnb situation to teach him how to hanky panky is...pretty high on the Icky And Illegal charts, no?
even later, once these two are In Love, their conversations veer into a new grosso dynamic i like to call You Should Follow Your Dreams And Stand Up For Yourself, But Not With Me Tho.
because don't worry — chandler decides to chase her dreams and write books of her own. she just inexplicably decides to finish this one, even though it will mean a lifetime of lying, first.
generally and beyond all of that insanity, there's a lot we're trying to accomplish here—social issues we attempt to address range from aging parents and ocd and anti-semitism to bullying and hollywood and Finding Your Passion.
none of it is discussed satisfyingly or fully, or even in a very fun or interesting or non-"what is happening what are we doing here" way.
but that's par for the course.
bottom line: not even one moment of this made sense to me.
(thanks to the publisher for the e-arc / 1.5 stars)...more
just that it be the cutest thing in existence and make me happy and fill the void within me.
not a recipe for disai didn't ask for much from this book.
just that it be the cutest thing in existence and make me happy and fill the void within me.
not a recipe for disaster at all!
unfortunately, it seems that those expectations were "too tall of an order," an expression which reminds me of when i go to a diner for breakfast which of course means pancakes and a side of crispy bacon and a cup of coffee that is somehow simultaneously too strong and also water and i bypass the "shortstack" option and i go right for the big boy and i am overwhelmed by a mountain of buttery syrupy goodness.
but here it means i didn't like this book that much.
it has a cover that implies that it will be quirky, and cute, and funny, and romantic, and possibly sexy.
besides maybe that last thing, this wasn't really any of those. it was heavy!!! which is fine. i think romance has as much right as any other genre to Contain Emotional Multitudes.
but i do feel like the rest of the book felt shallow because of everything going on - not enough time for romance, or humor, or, you know. character development.
the little things.
bottom line: back in my resting state (having unpopular opinions and craving pancakes).
warning: all of you are about to witness history. i am about to string a sentence together made up of words that have nary found themselves near each warning: all of you are about to witness history. i am about to string a sentence together made up of words that have nary found themselves near each other ever.
this book, which was once a Normal Book, is now a Graphic Novel, with fewer words and more pictures and generally less content, and we are all the better for it.
but i still actually just don't like this story.
pretty art, though.
bottom line: medically needed a graphic novel and this checked that box!
sure, this book is pretty ridiculous, and all of its lines of dialogue feel like punch-ups on a netflix show written by millennials about gen z, and tsure, this book is pretty ridiculous, and all of its lines of dialogue feel like punch-ups on a netflix show written by millennials about gen z, and there's an unnecessary love triangle, and all of the characters are pure evil or worse, annoying, and it's inexplicably and clumsily written from the point of view of a teenage boy who is forced to learn a lesson about how Women Are People Too at the end à la an after-school special or a video you'd watch in health class...
sure, become a mermaid because of the weight of bigotry in the world...but do you have to be SO DRAMATIC about it.
i loved the idea of this book so mucsure, become a mermaid because of the weight of bigotry in the world...but do you have to be SO DRAMATIC about it.
i loved the idea of this book so much (satirical ish literary horror about a swimming star who chooses to become a mermaid because of the weight of misogyny and homophobia and racism), but the execution...not so much!
the language felt sloppy and imprecise in that hard-to-define underedited-debut way, and despite being categorized as a horror novel i would say only one scene really qualified as such.
otherwise it tended more toward melodrama and hit-you-over-the-head themes and arguments. here's an example, when our protagonist has recently sustained a head injury and is conspicuously refusing to answer her doctor's very normal question (how's the pain): "He misunderstood.
How was I supposed to differentiate between the pain due to the concussion and the pain due to the agony of everyday human life?"
yikes.
if i am being fully honest—and to the eternal chagrin of myself, my loved ones, and the world around me, i usually am—this was annoying and boring. in our main character, in the frustrating writing, and in how obvious and repetitive all the themes are.
i cannot stand being talked down to as a reader, especially for themes as simple as "bigotry abounds."
bottom line: my biggest, hardest NOPE in a while!...more
give me a group of losers with tragic backstories striking out on their own and building banter alongthere is no trope i love more than found family.
give me a group of losers with tragic backstories striking out on their own and building banter along the way? i'm in heaven.
that's what this book is ostensibly about. i saw the synopsis (four misfits on the run) and simply thought...goals.
but it's as if there was no love there.
i feel like we reallytruly got to know 2 men who hate women as they make one extremely gross and convoluted exception apiece, but the aforementioned one-gal-each ration of women doesn't seem to get in on the lovefest.
i love lit fic because there is never a plot so it's even more impressive when i find it unputdownable.
this had that trademark Debut feeling (kinda cli love lit fic because there is never a plot so it's even more impressive when i find it unputdownable.
this had that trademark Debut feeling (kinda clunky and error-ridden writing), but not when it came to the characters, who felt fleshed out and real even though there were 900 of them and the perspective kept switching!
i will take that trade any day.
bottom line: good stuff! i'll be keeping an eye on this author.
3.5
----------------------- tbr review
if i see a book more than 3 times i physically have to read it
to be honest, i started writing mini reviews for each story, but then eventually i realized i felt the exact same way about each one.
which was that ito be honest, i started writing mini reviews for each story, but then eventually i realized i felt the exact same way about each one.
which was that i didn't like them.
i have something i do not want to say, and i do not know how to say, and i wish i did not have to say, but it is the difficult to pin down point that all of my feelings on this book revolve around, so:
this has that certain je-ne-sais-quoi Debut writing style. kind of overwritten. kind of cliché. kind of nonsensical, like not every sentence connects to the next. kind of trying to be impressive. kind of giving the same vibe as, like, instagram poetry.
unfortunately, i decided i didn't like this book early, and despite my best efforts and the fact that stories began to be slightly different from each other, all of them continued to value drama and impressive writing over characters or story or themes or relatability or sense.
y'know. the little things.
bottom line: it should be illegal for me to dislike a book with a cover like that.
(thanks to the publisher for the copy)
--------------------- tbr review
a weird dark collection of lit fic stories exploring women's grief?? yeah. i'm interested...more
if you've ever wanted to read a sciencey, quirky romance filled with tumblr-esque pop culture references and toddler-age memes about a huge, serious, if you've ever wanted to read a sciencey, quirky romance filled with tumblr-esque pop culture references and toddler-age memes about a huge, serious, no-nonsense dickwad man who manages to have gleaming abs and marvel-esque biceps despite being a nerd who ostensibly lives inside of a laboratory, lifting nothing heavier than chalk and bunsen burners, as he meets a goofy not-like-other-girls Woman In Stem whose various traumas and backstories and mildly inconvenient past relationships mean she's searching for a daddy to daughter her up looking for love in all the wrong places, i.e., not looking at all because she doesn't need a man, only science, bad internal dialogue, and her own personality (read: allotted ration of problematic personal relationships, adorkable food obsessions, and single nerdy non-academic interest), plus a sex scene or two that will include at least one turn of phrase cursed to sear into your retinas for the rest of time...
it's been so long since i read lit fic by a man that i forgot why i read mostly female authors.
this had a lot to say and a lot going for it, but unforit's been so long since i read lit fic by a man that i forgot why i read mostly female authors.
this had a lot to say and a lot going for it, but unfortunately my reading of it was constantly distracted and brought down by the terrible female characters and the awful man-writing-lit-fic sex scenes.
sorry! i wanted to like it. i promise.
bottom line: sheesh.
------------------ pre-review
blacked out in a barnes & noble in the midst of a sale and emerged with 8 books. anyway it was the best afternoon of my life and this was one of them...more
i adored open water, but this one fell a little flat for me — on paper (buh dum ch), it felt like it should be just asdisappointments build character.
i adored open water, but this one fell a little flat for me — on paper (buh dum ch), it felt like it should be just as good: poetic writing, significant themes, characters coming of age.
but all of it felt stilted and effortful. open water unfolded naturally and gorgeously, while all of this felt like it took something.
this was longer than open water, yet it felt shorter, accomplished less.
it wasn't bad...just not built to stand in comparison to its predecessor.
bottom line: bummer.
-------------------- tbr review
NEW RELEASE BY THE AUTHOR OF OPEN WATER!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!!!!
the most wicked, evil, devious part of this thriller was the romance.
for a long time i couldn't decide if this was overwritten or underedited. plot twthe most wicked, evil, devious part of this thriller was the romance.
for a long time i couldn't decide if this was overwritten or underedited. plot twist: the answer is it's both!
there's just too much information in here, and very little of it is necessary. on top of that there's the writing-based stuff: many instances of the same word being used in back to back sentences (one of my hundreds of pet peeves), plus the overall sense that this was written at a desk with an open thesaurus on it...
this was an incredible premise that overcommitted and underdelivered, offering disappointing characters who treat each other terribly, no development, and a disappointing plot.
and again, just about the worst romance i've ever read. negative chemistry. terrible influences on each other. continually calling each other ugly and/or terribly personality'd in their truest and most internal thoughts.
bottom line: the horror.
(thanks to netgalley for the e-arc)
--------------- tbr review
selecting the single mystery/thriller book i'll read this year...more
unfortunately it appears i will keep reading these books as long as they keep coming.
even as they continue to ruin my life.
these are peak guilty pleasunfortunately it appears i will keep reading these books as long as they keep coming.
even as they continue to ruin my life.
these are peak guilty pleasure content and are also sometimes not pleasurable at all.
at its best, this series is a pretentious guy who is also an unreliable narrator who is also truly hilarious getting up to hijinks on the regular. and of course by hijinks i mean felonies and murder — the best kind.
tragically this installment contains a lot more writing about writing than it does writing about murder. and also a lot of self-soothing.
all i'll say is that a fairly major character in this book is a female author who longs to write respected works of (self-insert) literary merit, but when she breaks from her beloved but unrespected bestselling thrillers she is roundly mocked. and i will leave it at that.
giving yourself some therapy while getting paid thriller-series-contract money...that's great work if you can get it.
generally this lacks the same MAGIC as its predecessors. each entry in YOU seems to have less and less fun, forcing itself to become serious for no reason and losing the goofiness and originality that made the first one among my favorite thrillers of all time.
but this one did coin the phrase "Dunkin' Sally Rooney," so it can't be all bad.
bottom line: keep em coming, kepnes. masochism awaits me.
keeping up my streak of reading exclusively Contemporary Literary Fiction On The Connection Between Mothers And Daughters In Childhood Compared To Adukeeping up my streak of reading exclusively Contemporary Literary Fiction On The Connection Between Mothers And Daughters In Childhood Compared To Adult Life.
why mess with what works.
i truly cannot stand, 99% of the time, when books split themselves in half. i rarely find dual timelines, or multiple perspectives, or any variation on Back And Forth necessary, and almost always i prefer one to the other and that makes me hate both.
this was no exception.
usually in books that flash between the current day and childhood, i detest the childhood section — there's just something about lit fic attempting to Poetically render a kid to the page that drives me nuts.
in this case, it was the opposite — i found the past to be captured in detail, full of emotion and disturbing images and reality, and the present day to be a frustrating and overdramatic afterthought.
i have a good feeling about this one, she says for the infinitieth time
update: well.
i wanted to like this book. in fact, i was convinced i would, due i have a good feeling about this one, she says for the infinitieth time
update: well.
i wanted to like this book. in fact, i was convinced i would, due to the following factors: 1) it seems like i haven't liked a romance in a while, which is unfair, and life is supposed to be kind and sweet and nice to me always; 2) i have liked other books by this author, or actually one other book, in the singular, which is still more than most can say; and 3) i wanted to.
but alas. apparently — and this is news to me — i don't make the rules???
huh.
regardless, this was immediately girl hatey, in an insane, like, 2000s level, toward not one but two women! the only other two women, in fact, who exist in the first chapter at all and aren't our protagonist.
which is kind of a feat, if you think about it.
on top of that, while there were moments when this was funny and even charming, it wasn't ever close to enough to overcome the terrible beginning or how unlikable our main characters are.
good god, those main characters! hallie piper (oof) is a not-like-other-girls lab-created disaster whose only two personality traits are having red hair and getting on my nerves. she is, apparently, immediately Special, not like these Dumb Other Women, and is also hot, which is where the tragedy occurs.
she attracts the attention of a straight-up nightmare monster. but sadly this not descend into a gory horror bloodbath. she lives happily ever after with the gruesome figment we meet in chapter one.
he is our love interest, jack.
he objectifies. he harasses. he doesn't take no for an answer. he repeatedly deliberately sabotages a relationship his so-called best friend is really excited about, via childish antics and blind entitlement.
he is, worst of all, boring.
i'm forced to say it. this book has a 4.04 average rating, but it's cringey, outdated, unromantic, silly, creepy, and weird.
so here we are again. here it is:
bottom line: i'm back in my unpopular opinion era.
hello, unpopular opinion regarding a beloved bestselling book that literally everyone on earth seems to love / find enchanting / desire to give their hello, unpopular opinion regarding a beloved bestselling book that literally everyone on earth seems to love / find enchanting / desire to give their firstborn besides me.
it's been a while.
and personally i can't think of a more devastating candidate for our big comeback than this, a book fitting an ideal description:
a beautiful cover that seems like it couldn't possibly contain anything but an intergenerational literary family drama (the best niche of all time) and yet is.
like did i mention the cover is beautiful. and i'm not just talking about the title!!! (pause for raucous laughter.)
unfortunately, that's the only thing i found particularly appealing about this whole thing. because it is:
1) not literary, but rather the kind of gimmicky and clichéd writing i expect from books i've never heard of found exclusively at airport bookstores 2) not a family drama, really, but more like a lack of family drama, because these people don't really care for each other all that much 3) created to hurt my feelings, specifically, because i am an eldest sister and this entire thing is from page 1 to page 897 (estimating) anti-eldest propaganda.
this is a book about 4 sisters, and one of them decides there's been a rift in the family and she is going to leave forever. that is the entirety of the plot, if i'm honest. which is fine. i'm all for no story, just vibes if i like the characters.
but here is the thing...the eldest sister is evil, the sister we unexpectedly spend a lot of our time following goes from Having A Personality to simply just Being Nice, and the other two are kept pretty clearly out of our way in case we accidentally trip and fall into something happening. (don't worry. we essentially do not.)
so i do not like the characters.
and to all of this i say: sorry to the padavano sisters but i'm different. i have 3 siblings and i'm one of 3 sisters and there is just no way i would let any of this happen to us.
and also...eldest sisters are not evil 2k23.
all of the stakes in this are deeply made up, and could be overcome in about a half a second if any of these people had even a passing interest in each other, let alone the kind of all-consuming sisterly love we're told they do. but instead of doing what i like to do with my sisters, which is get drunk and watch twilight, they decide to be like "i feel this made up trauma so much i want to pass it down from generation to generation."
so sure. whatever. do what you want.
but i don't have to like it!!!
i mean, in actual fact there were moments of this i really liked. but there were also plenty of moments of this i really didn't, such as when i was forced to turn to my boyfriend while reading this (by force of lack of options while on a plane) and say (view spoiler)["oh. it's a cancer book." (hide spoiler)]
but at least i got to get some anger out while we sat on the tarmac.
bottom line: i'm so glad you all loved this book so much, and also i have no idea what book you read.
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