I knew when I started reading this I would become engrossed and it did not disappoint. I admit I started to get a leetle tired of the lovey-dovey langI knew when I started reading this I would become engrossed and it did not disappoint. I admit I started to get a leetle tired of the lovey-dovey language at times (probably wouldn't have as a teen) but on the whole I found it compelling and fun. I found Bella, the main character to be extremely likable and the story did twist and turn in ways I didn't expect. Loved hearing new vampire lore too!...more
**spoiler alert** This book is a set of three short stories.
Wise Blood ~~~~~~~~~~ When I read this in college it was way over my head (or, more likely,**spoiler alert** This book is a set of three short stories.
Wise Blood ~~~~~~~~~~ When I read this in college it was way over my head (or, more likely, at the time my head was too full of other nonsense to take it all in). My second time through demonstrated its power. Not a word is wasted and as you pay attention you quickly realize it's not a story as much as a treatise on people and their notions about life, faith and the way things are.
The characters are grotesque: "Mrs. Watts was sitting alone in a white iron bed, cutting her toenails with a large pair of scissors. She was a big woman with very yellow hair and white skin that glistened with a greasy preparation. She had on a pink nightgown that would better have fit a smaller figure." (p. 16),
the dialogue is wonderfully unique: "The peeler man leaned over the card table and said, 'Hey!' to the blind man. 'I reckon that showed you. Trying to horn in.' 'Lookerhere,' Enoch Emery said, 'I ain't got but a dollar sixteen cent but I ...' 'Yah,' the man said, 'I reckon that'll show you you can't muscle in on me.'" (p. 21),
and every phrase is loaded with symbolism and meaning: "'Do you think, Mr. Motes,' she said hoarsely, 'that when you're dead, you're blind?' 'I hope so,' he said after a minute. 'Why?' she asked, staring at him. After a while he said, 'If there's no bottom in your eyes, they hold more.' The landlady stared for a long time, seeing nothing at all." (p. 115)
The Violent Bear It Away and Everything That Rises Must Converge ...forthcoming.
OK this one is now one of my "life-changer" books. First came Boundaries which taught me how to take care of myself (in relationships) and now I haveOK this one is now one of my "life-changer" books. First came Boundaries which taught me how to take care of myself (in relationships) and now I have "Parenting with Love & Logic" which has given me hope and training in how to raise my kids.
Now that I have a full-blown toddler (and another one coming up fast) its' starting to dawn on me just how utterly helpless we actually are as parents at controlling our childrens' behavior. No matter how much I cajole, demand, bribe, scream or cry I cannot force food down my kids' throats, sleep to come upon them, potty time to be successful or to make them learn a single thing!
Love and Logic trains you to give up trying to control things you can't and to use those you can to help your children learn. The whole philosophy is to raise children who can think for themselves and who own their own behavior. Childhood is the time when mistakes cost less - by the time they are adults they can have had lots of safe practice making choices and gaining the confidence they need to be healthy and productive. The book clearly shows how "forcing" obedient behavior through tactics like unrelated punishments and grand displays of emotion (which I find myself resorting to time and again!) ultimately backfires, leaving grown kids without the self-confidence they need to succeed and lost in an adult world (parents are no longer doing the thinking for them).
Here's a passage which demonstrates what I mean: "Many of us unwittingly train our children to listen to their peers by teaching them, while young, to listen to a very strong voice outside their own head: ours. We say, 'Do what I tell you to do, do it now, and do it my way.' ... [When:] our children hit eleven or twelve years of age... they're still listening to a voice outside their heads -- it's just not ours anymore. The first step in preparing our children to cope with the peer pressure they'll meet down the road is to start them early in listening to that small voice inside their own head. Give them choices on little things: Chocolate or white milk? The blue coat or the red coat? Put the mittens in the pocket or wear them? They have to decide; the little voice inside their head does the talking." p. 205-6
I have already started to use these techniques on my son with some immediate success! However, it's still rough going and he's still ever finding new ways to stretch the limits. The book definitely doesn't promise that things will be easier - love and logic parenting is hard work! The difference for me now is, while I still need a lot more practice, I have hope that I'll be able to handle the big issues when they come; hope that I'm taking steps now in my kids' lives to help them really grow up.
I can see the hardest thing for me is going to be to stop "rescuing" my children from some of their poor choices and to learn personal patience in the parenting process. I never thought parenting would be easy but now at least I'm not feeling quite so helpless about it....more
This was such a wonderful little gem of a book and exactly what an old jaded working gal like me needed to read at the moment. I think what I most appThis was such a wonderful little gem of a book and exactly what an old jaded working gal like me needed to read at the moment. I think what I most appreciated was the author's ability to bring art/individuality/innovation into his corporate world - not by declaring the "hairball" bad and simply passing judgment - but rather by accepting it as reality and working with and/or around it.
A great treatise on corporate culture and how to survive with your enthusiasm and individuality intact....more