I'm seeing a lot of victim blame-y and xenophobic/orientalist reviews so I'm hoping to get my hands on a copy so that I can review it as an Asian-AmerI'm seeing a lot of victim blame-y and xenophobic/orientalist reviews so I'm hoping to get my hands on a copy so that I can review it as an Asian-American who has also survived abuse myself. And, being my awesome self, I have to respond to the nasty reviews going on with this right now because what I'm seeing is very disrespectful toward my culture and victims of abuse.
There are a lot of reviewers saying the moral of the story is to not marry someone you barely know and to not marry someone from an "exotic" country *eyeroll* I hate being called exotic or anything about my culture. To quote "Better Off Ted", "I’m not exotic; I’m asian. There are more of us than there are you, so statistically,
Instead of teaching people to be careful and victim blaming them all the time, how about we start teaching them not to be abusive asscakes and to stand up for victims of abuse? Just a thought. The moral should be "don't beat your spouse". Because not being with someone just because they come from a culture different from your own is xenophobic, shortsighted, and ignorant. There are many successful and happily married interracial couples to prove it.
Saying "don't marry people you've known for a short time" also strips victims of domestic abuse of their experience and whittles it down to "it's your fault you got with someone you didn't know long enough" instead of "hey dude. don't abuse your wife." Not to discredit and trivialize the author's own experience as this review is meant to call out other reviewers—domestic violence is prevalent everywhere, even in western culture (*cough*50 shades is coming out soon and that hokey series struck every red flag on every domestic abuse emergency site I checked*cough*).
I hate reviews that are nothing more but offensive blanket statements about cultures they don't understand and that perpetuates the idea that domestic violence is the victim's fault. Choose your words more carefully next time. ...more
This is a very detailed analysis of porn as it stands today, including some porn from other countries like Japan. While the content of the subject matThis is a very detailed analysis of porn as it stands today, including some porn from other countries like Japan. While the content of the subject matter is very good, it doesn't make up for the unnecessarily long and dry language. I read academic books all the time and I love it but this is one of those pieces that makes an interesting and taboo subject look boring. If you want the average person to listen to what you have to say, you need to write like you're having a conversation with them instead of a wealthy white guy with three PhD's from Harvard. I believe this is especially true if it is an academic study because you want people to talk about these things, yeah? Learn how to hold onto their attention and you'll be able to keep their interest. People will be more inclined to listen if they don't have to reread the same sentence several times and look up every other word in the dictionary. Just sayin'....more