Imperfect Birds is an imperfect book, but that’s okay. I forgive Anne Lamott just about anything, since I’m nuts about her and I know she pours her guImperfect Birds is an imperfect book, but that’s okay. I forgive Anne Lamott just about anything, since I’m nuts about her and I know she pours her guts, heart and soul into her writing. Because of that, though, this work of fiction sometimes gets a little crazy and overwrought.
The story is about 17-year-old Rosie spiraling out of control, and the parents who are clueless then horrified, careless then vigilant, and rarely on the same proverbial page.
Even though Rosie is not very likeable, my heart breaks for her as I put myself in her shoes… back in high school, struggling to fit in, secret and inappropriate crushes, getting into trouble with my friends, pushing the limits. At that age so many of us are striving for independence and individuality while, paradoxically, we’re mortified if we don’t fit in. Rosie thinks she’s so smart and so grown up when she’s really just a dumb, spoiled kid.
As the mother of my own 17-year-old daughter, I feel this mother’s angst, understand her denial, but sometimes want to shake her and tell her to wake up. I do empathize with her because there certainly are times when I find myself unprepared and in despair as a parent. That said, Elizabeth, the mother in the book is way too worried about rocking the boat with her teenage daughter and way too concerned about being her friend. Thank goodness she has healthy grownup friends and a husband who is slightly wiser and stricter than she is to support her before she goes down the tubes and takes Rosie with her.
Anne Lamott’s strongest and most successful books are her memoirs (Operating Instructions, Bird by Bird, Traveling Mercies, Plan B, Grace Eventually), filled with brutal honesty and a candid sharing of her spiritual journey. Those who’ve read them feel they know Annie and her son, Sam. In Imperfect Birds, Lamott strives to weave in a spiritual plot through Elizabeth’s friend Rae (a weaver!) and her involvement in a community church, but that piece of the story seems contrived. Rosie gets a summer job there. The church is on the scene with candlelight vigils after tragedies. The wise pastor is there with sage advice for Elizabeth. It just didn’t ring true to me.
The point in the book is that we are all imperfect but allow each other, character flaws and all, into our the sacred spaces of our hearts. I love the metaphor. I just wish I liked these people a little more. They are the 12-step textbook example of insanity: doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. That’s one of the things that makes the book a little crazy but it’s also one of the things that ultimately makes it work as a cautionary tale. And it is that—a big, red, blaring warning for families and entire communities as our youth continue to medicate themselves into oblivion to escape the reality of their lives.
An Inconvenient Wife, although more complicated, is reminiscent of Kate Chopin's The Awakening. Megan Chance's heroine, Lucy Carleton dares to have luAn Inconvenient Wife, although more complicated, is reminiscent of Kate Chopin's The Awakening. Megan Chance's heroine, Lucy Carleton dares to have lusty desires and creative passions in 1895 New York, much to the dismay of her husband, father and society friends. They all think she's lost her mind--and as was in vogue for that repressed era, a woman's psychological problems were assumed to be caused by her reproductive system. Despite consulting doctor after doctor for help, Lucy's husband could not find anyone to "fix" his wife. In addition to daring to have emotions, Lucy had not conceived a child in four years of marriage and, naturally, this was considered to be her fault.
The Carleton's find their way to Dr. Victor Seth, a modern thinking physician who treats Lucy through hypnosis and "electrical stimulation," which brings her to a pleasurable relief she didn't know existed. Although Lucy begins to feel better, her husband isn't sold on Dr. Seth and still can't fathom why his wife is not the compliant, frigid, cookie cutter society girl he thought he had married. Afterall, men could go elsewhere for lust, they certainly didn't want that in a wife.
From the get-go, it's easy to dislike and distrust Lucy's husband. It's more difficult to know whether or not we should trust Dr. Seth's motives. And ultimately, we may find ourselves wondering about Lucy's own integrity. Is she strictly under Dr. Seth's control or is she simply behaving in the way of a strong, independent spirit?
As a 21st-century woman who makes her own choices and whose marriage is a partnership, I feel sorry for Lucy and shudder that hers would be any woman's plight. An Inconvenient Wife serves as a reminder that women in our culture have come a long way, baby, in a relatively short period of time.
It occurs to me, though, that there are plenty of women around the world who are still constrained by their own cultural mores--figuratively and perhaps even literally bound by husbands, fathers and extreme religions that would rather sentence them to death or otherwise persecute them for daring to desire personal or creative fulfillment. In that context, perhaps Megan Chance's novel is a more modern tale than it first appears.
When the going got tough... Laura Munson decided not to play the victim. Instead, she was determined NOT to suffer, even when her husband--and the fatWhen the going got tough... Laura Munson decided not to play the victim. Instead, she was determined NOT to suffer, even when her husband--and the father of her two children--told her he wasn't sure he still loved her. Her response was something akin to "keep calm, carry on," partly because she simply didn't buy it. He was in the midst of financial losses and business woes and she was a convenient target for his angst. Some may have accused Ms. Munson of being in denial; instead, it seems she knew her husband well enough, and loved him fiercely enough, to ask him this question: "What can we do to give you the distance you need without damaging the family?"
Ms. Munson's graceful resolve not to suffer, theoretically, can be applied to ANY situation, not just to a marital crisis. She vowed not to become a ranting and raving shrew--even on nights where her husband slept at the office without calling home. Even when he went off fishing with buddies for days at a time. Even when he sat sullen and speechless at the dinner table. Even when he disappointed their kids on the Fourth of July.
It's not that she wasn't in pain. She was. But she wasn't going to let that pain define her and she wasn't going to be a doormat. Ms. Munson had recently recovered from a lengthy grieving process following her father's death. She didn't want to return to those depths. Sure, she had sleepless nights, angry conversations in her head, and plenty of doubts. Instead of indulging them, she took care of herself, enjoying time with her children, cooking and canning, leaning on female friends for strength, riding her horse, and taking solace in writing--her life's calling.
Reading this book is like getting generous advice from a therapist or an older, wiser woman. Ms. Munson has an easy, conversational style. She tackles serious issues head on, but she also knows when to lighten up. Besides the so-called "self help" aspect of this book, this memoir spins a compelling true tale of a life challenge met with aplomb. It reads like a long, heartfelt letter from a friend. ...more
Unless, a novel by Pulitzer Prize winner (for The Stone Diaries which I've just ordered!) Carol Shields was published in 2002, the year before her deaUnless, a novel by Pulitzer Prize winner (for The Stone Diaries which I've just ordered!) Carol Shields was published in 2002, the year before her death from cancer. Somehow, I missed this author until a friend recently (and thankfully) lent me her copy of Unless which, even at almost 10-years-old, is as contemporary and astute as anything written today. Isn't that kind of relevance over time one of the characteristics of a truly great story?
Things are going swimmingly for Reta Winters until a crisis with her eldest child interferes. With rare eloquence, Shields gives voice to Reta’s doubts, fears and love for her family. While trying to navigate her role as a mother, Reta also is nurturing her latest novel. Her profound compassion and feelings of confusion about Reta's own life help her more fully develop her fictional characters—whose lives she then must defend to a quirky new editor.
Perhaps the core exploration of Shields’ book is the concept of “goodness.” Without giving away key elements of the plot, let’s just say that Reta tries to discern what goodness means to her, to her forlorn daughter and to the world. One might say that goodness translates to love; without sacrificing literary values for sentimentality, love is at the heart of Unless. ...more
Jim Beaver’s raw and beautiful memoir, at its core, is a love story. The author generously shares a year in his life—a year that would cause many of uJim Beaver’s raw and beautiful memoir, at its core, is a love story. The author generously shares a year in his life—a year that would cause many of us to pull the covers over our heads and not emerge for a long, long time. The story begins with news of his wife Cecily’s shocking Stage IV cancer--just months after the couple’s toddler Maddie is diagnosed with autism.
The saga begins in the form of a nightly email to a growing list of family and friends, apprising them of Cecily’s status. But Beaver’s missives quickly move from medical updates to bravely honest accounts of his disbelief, anger, terror, guilt, grief and, most of all, love. The story is engaging and authentic as Beaver prays for a cure, loses his soul mate, becomes a single parent to Maddie and, somehow, manages to pepper it all with a warm, self-deprecating humor.
Don’t be put off by the subject of death—there is nothing maudlin about this book. Life’s That Way is far more about living, loving, friendship and honor. Beaver graciously takes us on the journey with him and, though we share in his profound loss, we also get to share in the hope that follows. ...more
Lovely coming of age tale set in the south, where racial tensions still run deep. Young Jason Lee transforms from a boy to a young man and is judged bLovely coming of age tale set in the south, where racial tensions still run deep. Young Jason Lee transforms from a boy to a young man and is judged by townsfolk because his best friend is black. Jason Lee's birthright sets the stage for his ability to stand up to bigotry: His father marched in Montgomery and Selma. Sadly, Jason Lee never knew the father who died in Vietnam before he was born. He's compelled to learn about his principled dad and to live in a way that would make him proud.
There are challenges at every turn, as his mother's grief finally catches up with her and Jason Lee fends for himself alongside his uncle, a mentally-disabled Vietnam vet. When lack of supervision and poor judgment collide, Jason Lee unwittingly invites trouble and some dark truths lead to tragedy.
Sometimes charming, at times alarming, The Clock of Life illustrates the good, the bad and the ugly of small town, southern culture. The author deftly brings the novel's setting and characters to life through rich, colloquial dialogue and the lingering historical backdrop of one of our nation's most turbulent times.
Doesn’t matter if you’re military or civilian, gay or straight, The Pink Marine is inspiration for anyone who’s ever felt like an outsider, kept a bigDoesn’t matter if you’re military or civilian, gay or straight, The Pink Marine is inspiration for anyone who’s ever felt like an outsider, kept a big secret, or feared they wouldn’t measure up. Greg Cope White’s honesty, grit and humor march the reader through the challenging mental, physical and emotional hurdles of a closeted, gay man at Marine boot camp at a time when homosexuals were banned from military duty. There’d be hell to pay if he were found out and, although the specter of that dogs him, we see this young recruit develop self-confidence, maturity and competence as both a Marine and as a man, thanks in part to the steadfast support of his dedicated and supportive friend, Dale, a fellow recruit.
White’s relatable and visceral style takes us into the squad bay, the communal showers, the firing range and the parade deck. We hear every drill instructor’s profanity-laden command, taste the barely-edible slop in the mess hall, and feel the intensity of excruciating shin splints. More so, we sense White’s poignant roller coaster of self-doubt, trepidation, pride, relief and triumph as he honorably evolves into one of “the few, the proud, the Marines.” The Pink Marine is a moving story for a modern time, with an historic nod to how far our military has come in the struggle for gay rights. ...more
Eire's memoir is utterly enchanting. His elegant and lively tales bring 1950s Havana to life. From boys-will-be-boys shenanigans involving lizards andEire's memoir is utterly enchanting. His elegant and lively tales bring 1950s Havana to life. From boys-will-be-boys shenanigans involving lizards and fireworks, to a young man's hopes, dreams and darkest fears, a young Carlos quickly makes his way into the reader's heart.
Havana sparkles brightly in Eire's hands, a living-color Disneyland--colorful, sunny, glamorous and exciting--but turns grimly dark and threatening in Castro's shadow.
The book features quite a cast of quirky characters, not the least of whom is Carlos' father, who believes he was once French royalty. The poignancy of Eire's prose will cause that heart to break more than once as Castro moves in and family life begins to unravel.
Ultimately, yes, Waiting for Snow in Havana reveals the age-old triumph of the human spirit. But fear not, this triumph is no cliche. It is a fresh, moving and dynamic read which moves us to laughter and tears, despair and hope, awakening all of our senses, but mostly awakening our heart. ...more
Tara Westover's memoir, Educated, is a bold and brave rendering of a remarkable story. She reveals some ugly and, for many readers, unimaginable truthTara Westover's memoir, Educated, is a bold and brave rendering of a remarkable story. She reveals some ugly and, for many readers, unimaginable truths about her upbringing in an isolated, fundamentalist family.
This is is a different type of coming of age story. Despite her home life and the brainwashings of an undiagnosed mentally ill father, Westover somehow knew she had a higher calling and heeded it, leaving the fold for what would eventually become a distinguished academic career. It's no straight line, though and, like many of us, she has to stagger around a bit emotionally before finding her solid center and standing up for herself in the face of a sick family system that turned a blind eye to horrific abuses and neglect. She tells this gripping tale authentically and viscerally, taking the reader into her family's home on the mountain where we can see, feel, hear and smell the realities of this particular tale of dysfunction.
While the abuses were many--physical, emotional, spiritual--and there was extraordinary neglect in terms of health care and education, the perpetrators were still, after all, her family and Westover's capacity to love them anyway and move beyond shame is phenomenal....more
I was half prepared not to get much out of this book, thinking Annie was just cranking out another one at the behest of her publisher... using the horI was half prepared not to get much out of this book, thinking Annie was just cranking out another one at the behest of her publisher... using the horrific Sandy Hook school shooting as a jumping off point. After all, I thought, what can she say that she already hasn't said? I was wrong.
Maybe some of the themes are recycled, but no one can spin a story of redemption and restoration like Anne Lamott. No writer is better at finding hope, if not meaning, in the yuck that life throws at us. One reason I think she's so good at it is that she doesn't sugarcoat that yuck. She's not one to pretend that life is all hearts and flowers and lollipops. But she knows her redeemer lives and somehow, without being in the least bit Bible thumping or holy rolling or Jesus freakish, she dishes out the most lovely tidbits--pieces of wisdom that go far beyond the glib to the positively useful, even crucial, for surviving in a world where bad stuff happens all the time. She speaks of being ill-prepared as a child: nobody told us it was going to be this way. Indeed! Or else, they told us how rotten and unfair life could be but gave us no tools with which to meet the challenge. "We are raised to be bright and shiny," she writes, "but there is meaning in the acceptance of our dusky and dappled side, and also in defiance."
Stitches, like the equally useful and charming Help, Thanks, Wow that preceded it, is like a little toolbox. There's no hammer, but there are gentle little widgets that open things (hearts and minds, mostly) and help us fix our brokenness, to repair a crack here and soothe a wound there, at least in part, enough to put one foot in front of the other. Instead of tools, though, the metaphor is stitches, like the kind we use to patch together a quilt or darn an old sock. "You have to keep taking the next necessary stitch, and the next one, and the next," Annie writes. "Without stitches, you just have rags. And we are not rags." ...more
Honest, heartbreaking and, ultimately, redemptive, Unbearable Lightness is the most accurate and poignant portrayal I've read of the devastation causeHonest, heartbreaking and, ultimately, redemptive, Unbearable Lightness is the most accurate and poignant portrayal I've read of the devastation caused by an eating disorder.
There are a lot of books illustrating people's "drunkalogs", experiences in treatment and subsequent sobriety (or continuing addiction). Augusten Burroughs' Dry and James Frey's A Million Little Pieces come to mind. For me, de Rossi has crafted the anorexic, bulimic, compulsive over-eater gold standard, although where Burroughs laces his pain with humor, de Rossi reveals one shocking, gut-wrenching, jaw-dropping tale after another--restricting herself to 300 calories a day, maniacally exercising, bingeing & purging. At her sickest, the Ally McBeal and Arrested Development star weighed a mere 82 pounds.
De Rossi makes the point that anyone recovering from an eating disorder knows--if you're an alcoholic you must stop drinking... but for food addicts, not eating is not an option. It is tricky. Just like alcoholism, eating disorders are sneaky little demons that can quickly ruin your health, career and relationships. She also proves that even someone we perceive as drop dead gorgeous, successful and famous can still feel like they are unworthy of love...like they are fooling everyone, that they really aren't talented or attractive or worthy and will soon be found out
One thing fueling de Rossi's disease was her terror that her homosexuality would become public in Hollywood and she would be shunned, shamed and banned from the business. People in recovery know that "secrets keep us sick" so it's no surprise that the energy spent on masking the very essence of one's self would manifest itself in starvation.
There is a happy ending and most people already know it: de Rossi is now healthy and happily married to Ellen Degeneres. Still, it's about the journey and this one is well worth reading. It's not only a cautionary tale and indictment on our perfection-obsessed, movie star culture, but it's a beautifully spun confession of a sad, sick girl who turns her life around and proves it's possible to be loved and, more importantly, to love one's self. ...more
This is an early novel (1989) of Anne Lamott's and it is a complete joy. They always say to write what you know and the reader gets the sense that, alThis is an early novel (1989) of Anne Lamott's and it is a complete joy. They always say to write what you know and the reader gets the sense that, although this is a work of fiction, Lamott has an extreme empathy for Nanny--likely born of personal experience.
Funny, heartbreaking and heart warming, young Nanny Goodman grows up in the sixties across the bay from San Francisco amidst quirky adults with some pretty grown up problems: alcholism, depression, separation, infidelity, unplanned pregnancy, and a general discontent with life. There's not much opportunity for childhood innocence here as Nanny's brother turns to drugs and the adults in her life become too consumed with their own pain and drama to protect her from the harsh realities of life. Still, at the core, Nanny knows she is loved despite living eye-high in dysfunction. Really, isn't that the most important thing for a girl to know?
I am a huge Anne Lamott fan. I adore everything she's written, but I love some more than others. I have always thought her honest, self-effacing, memoirs (Operating Instructions, Bird by Bird, Traveling Mercies, Plan B and Grace Eventually) and are stronger (because they are so brutally honest?) than her fiction. All New People is the exception. I think it's her best novel.
I love Frank Lloyd Wright's work, but if T.C. Boyle's account of Wright's personal life is accurate, the genius architect was no prize in the husband/I love Frank Lloyd Wright's work, but if T.C. Boyle's account of Wright's personal life is accurate, the genius architect was no prize in the husband/lover department. This kind of historical fiction is fun, taking real life people and situations and bringing them to life with imagined intimate conversations and pretend private thoughts.
The scope of this juicy book is quite wide--painting Wright's four major loves over several decades against the backdrop of his Spring Green, Wisconsin masterpiece Taliesin. Wright's controlling treatment of his architectural interns and domestic staff is just a small step removed from slavery as he often doesn't meet the payroll and requires extreme hours and loyalty. He breezes in and out of these women's lives and beds with little concern for their emotional or financial needs, and pretty much ignores his children. Once they attach themselves to Wright, each of these women sacrifices something--dignity, sanity, children, and privacy as the media hounds these couples in a fashion worthy of today's paparazzi.
The Women is charmingly and thoroughly narrated by a fictional Japanese architect who studied for years under Wright and compromised his own heart along the way. Many believe the tragic Mamah Borthwick was Wright's one true love, but based on Boyle's illustration of an egotistcal Wright I'd guess his heart belonged merely to himself and to his work....more
While the Mad Men were smoking and boozing and womanizing in New York, another culture of harassment was simmering in the South of the early 1960s. ThWhile the Mad Men were smoking and boozing and womanizing in New York, another culture of harassment was simmering in the South of the early 1960s. The Help beautifully gives voice to black domestics who were treated as sub-human by the white society women who employed them. They were paid a pittance, with no overtime, for doing all the cooking, all the cleaning (including constant silver polishing) and all the child rearing--usually six days and week and holidays, to boot. They could change children's diapers but they weren't allowed to use the family bathroom.
The "help" in this book had no voice--and had no idea they could have one--until one gutsy gal broke ranks with her country club, Junior League, Ole Miss friends and began to chronicle the relationships between white women and their black maids.
Kathryn Stockett's brilliant prose transports the reader straight into the kitchens and lives of the women on both sides of these relationships. Her characters evoke an array of emotions, including empathy, pity, admiration and disgust.
The race discussion continues in our country today. In the context of world history, it's important to recognize that it wasn't all that long ago that the conversation first began in earnest. It's even more important to be reminded why the conversation must continue until there is true equality and understanding among the races.
This book made me cry in despair at times, but ultimately made me laugh and cheer at the small victories within. Each of the three main characters is a strong woman--none of them perfect, but all three with admirable qualities and a resilience that somehow I know endured in the years following the book's conclusion. ...more
Another cautionary tale for parents and spouses--be present, nurture those you love--because life and relationships can be very fragile.
Sometimes wheAnother cautionary tale for parents and spouses--be present, nurture those you love--because life and relationships can be very fragile.
Sometimes when wounded people get together the damage multiplies. These wounded characters are mostly sympathetic, although occasionally aggravating in their self-centeredness and carelessness. Still, it's easy to see how boredom, dissatisfaction and grief can drive wedges and isolate us from things that require vigilance.
Told half from a mother's point of view and half from her teenage daughter's, strong dialogue, narrative and attention to detail reveal these characters' pain, confusion and loneliness. As a mother I wanted to shake this mom out of her malaise and fast. At the same time, I could see how her system of denial was working for her and had to ask myself, "What am I missing when I should be paying attention?"
This novel also reaffirms that being a teenager in today's world can be dangerous and scary business. Truly a page turner. Extra points for being set in a lovely neighborhood on Chicago's North side!...more
Kabul Beauty School unveils some of the ugly truth about the treatment of women in Afghanistan. Even in a post-Taliban Kabul, Afghan women are subjugaKabul Beauty School unveils some of the ugly truth about the treatment of women in Afghanistan. Even in a post-Taliban Kabul, Afghan women are subjugated by a patriarchal society that has robbed them of individuality and any semblance of control over their lives. Parents arrange marriages for daughters with men who beat them. If a woman leaves, she forfeits her children to her husband. Many are resigned to a life of misery and control.
Michigan hairdresser Deborah Rodriguez defies most Afghan conventions to open a beauty school in Kabul. Cut, color and perms are the least of what the women learn. They become empowered not only by their ability to bring money home during tough economic times, but also by the affirmation and nurture that comes when women embrace the intimacies of female friendship. Debbie delivers some of the sweetest moments in her memoir when she gives the reader behind-the-scenes glimpses of hairdressers and students teasing one another about sex, dancing provocatively together behind closed doors and even, at one point, having a water fight outside the salon.
Then there’s the bitter reality: beatings, disappearances, drugs, warfare and centuries of oppression. Debbie crosses the line more than once in her efforts to bring dignity and liberation to Afghan women. Sometimes her efforts seem fruitless and her actions not very smart, but everything she does is powered by passion. Her honest accounts of her missteps provide valuable information about the vast difference between our culture and theirs, as well as the various cultural ethnicities that co-exist (not-so-peacefully) in Afghanistan. Woven throughout the beauty school’s story is Debbie’s own relationship journey which, itself, has been fraught with challenges.
Whether it’s fiction like Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns or non-fiction like Debbie Rodriguez’s memoir*, it seems vitally important today to read stories that enlighten us about life in the places we hear about on the news. Kabul Beauty School isn’t the most literary book you’ll ever read but it’s an honest, compelling page-turner that will both lift your spirits and break your heart. The story seems to end abruptly, but perhaps that’s how things end in Kabul.
*If you’ve read this and like it, you might also like Lipstick Jihad: A Memoir of Growing up Iranian in America and American in Iran, by Azedah Moaveni. ...more
Lily Casey Smith was a tough broad, a real-life cowgirl. She liked hot horses and fast cars, and was fearless in her convictions, never backing down fLily Casey Smith was a tough broad, a real-life cowgirl. She liked hot horses and fast cars, and was fearless in her convictions, never backing down from an argument, even brandishing a pearl-handled .22 when necessary. Lily's life story unfolds from her ranching childhood in West Texas. There's one calamity after another as she makes an unfortunate first marriage, finds a teaching job at a polygamist compound, drives a taxi fashioned from an old hearse, and raises her family on an Arizona ranch.
Lily was quite a character and her temperament and behavior as a mother help to explain at least some of the mental issues that plagued Walls' mother, Rose Mary. As a prequel to The Glass Castle, Half Broke Horses introduces us to Walls' parents and tells the story of their courtship, showing Walls' father Rex was well into his alcoholism even before the wedding.
Despite the hard truths and sometimes unflattering picture Walls paints of her grandmother and parents, it is obvious she has great affection--and even some admiration--for all of them. If you loved Jeannette Wall's brilliant memoir, The Glass Castle, this book is a MUST. Walls calls Half Broke Horses a "true life novel." She takes on the persona of Lily Casey Smith, telling her grandmother's story in the first person. In Walls' skillful hand, Lily's words and persona are bigger than life. ...more
Interesting premise: The Cheyenne tribe agrees to be assimilated into the white man's world and the U.SWomen and Natives Lose... But Novel is a Winner
Interesting premise: The Cheyenne tribe agrees to be assimilated into the white man's world and the U.S. government agrees to take horses in exchange for fertile, marriageable white women. The first group of volunteers includes May Dodd, whose fictional journals unfold in Jim Fergus's novel.
May is a woman who's about a hundred years ahead of her time. Espousing women's lib ideas in the so-called Wild West of 1875, May shocks her new native husband and his tribesman by plunging in with the fellows on their morning swim and busting into the evening sweat lodge. She has a big heart for even the most unpleasant of her "sisters" in the assimilation project and she doesn't see what the big deal is about racial differences between the natives and the whites. May is open minded and pragmatic and is affectionate and respectful, if not deferential, to her new husband, who seems to appreciate her as well.
May will go to any lengths to protect her loved ones, even if it means standing up to brutal savages or armed soldiers of the U.S. Army. Like May, the novel itself leaves a legacy of interesting social issues: a) A caution, perhaps, against trying to interfere with cultures and customs that we don't understand; b) A reminder of the despicable way Native Americans have been treated at the hands of our government; and c) A parallel to how women are still treated as chattel and/or sperm receptacles in too much of the world even in the 21st Century. That said, we also see how far U.S. women have come in terms of acceptance of their ideas, their passions and whom they are allowed to love. ...more
Christine Brennan's wonderful memoir brings together her career in journalism, her love for sports, and her admiration for her father. As she eloquentChristine Brennan's wonderful memoir brings together her career in journalism, her love for sports, and her admiration for her father. As she eloquently chronicles her early fan days following Michigan football as well as local Toledo minor league and college teams, it's obvious she was destined to be a champion in her own career. She played ball with the boys as a child and her high school girls' teams were treated like second-class citizens in the pre-Title IX days. Besides telling her own stories as a reporter covering college and pro football, the Olympics and more, Chris does a fine job illustrating the phenomenal growth of girls' and women's sports and the respect they have earned over the last 30-plus years. It gave me an opportunity reflect on how much different things have been for my daughter than they were for me. As tough as anyone covering a war or the White House, Christine Brennan has never been afraid to ask the tough questions. Whether confronting an NFL coach or owner, or the head of the restrictive Augusta Country Club, Chris is passionate, assertive and fair. Memoirs, especially when they pay homage to a parent, can sometimes be overly scentimental, but this book is not at all schmaltzy. Christine Brennan is still as excited by a major sporting even as she was as a kid. It's truly an all-American story of a successful woman and the family values that gave her the inspiration, confidence, poise and class that she carries with her everywhere she goes--even to the men's locker room. ...more
The Imperfectionists is an entertaining look at those schlogging away at a Rome-based international daily newspaper. From cub reporters, obit writersThe Imperfectionists is an entertaining look at those schlogging away at a Rome-based international daily newspaper. From cub reporters, obit writers and those manning the copy desk, to a savvy editor and the eccentric family who owns the newspaper over the course of three generations, author Tom Rachman reveals his--and his characters'--love/hate relationship with the paper and the news business in general.
Rachman devotes each chapter to one of the imperfect people in this newspaper world. Most of them are ex-pats and misfits in one way or another. Many of their tales are sad (lost loves and lonely hearts), humiliating (the financial officer duped in a most compromisingly personal way), and downright hilarious (the foreign correspondent who is a parasitic, self-centered, narcissist who'll do anything for a scoop).
These vignettes are set against the backdrop of the news of the day like the president's position in the polls or bombings in Baghdad. Historical sidebars detail the rise and fall of this once-grand enterprise. The newspaper holds everyone together. From its exciting, innovative start as a great idea in the 1950s, to its ultimate inability to keep up with the times--2007 and still no website!--to the painful reality that family-run newspapers on a large scale are pretty much a thing of the past, Rachman writes the obituary of a newspaper and a foreshadowing of the death of an industry.
This well-crafted novel by Garth Stein covers familiar territory—love and loss, betrayal and redemption—but mostly it’s a rather unconventional relatiThis well-crafted novel by Garth Stein covers familiar territory—love and loss, betrayal and redemption—but mostly it’s a rather unconventional relationship story.
If you hear the story’s narrator is a dog named Enzo, please don’t run for the hills. It’s unconventional…and it’s the most compelling part of the story. The dog is loyal and wise. He is discerning about who is trustworthy and who is not. He is protective of racecar driver Denny, and Denny’s wife and daughter.
Don’t let the thread of automobile racing put you off if you’re not a Formula 1 or NASCAR fan. The racing provides an interesting metaphor for navigating life’s twists and turns and it’s not overused. I admit I was skeptical going in, but The Art of Racing in the Rain was recommended by readers I trust and they did not lead me astray. I knew from the first page that I would love this book. At the same time I was afraid that it might be painful. It is, but it’s worth it. The Art of Racing in the Rain ultimately is more heartwarming than heart wrenching, but go fetch a few tissues just in case.
Clever, entertaining novel that doesn't take itself too seriously. Revare sets his fictional characters and situations in the very real Manhattan, KanClever, entertaining novel that doesn't take itself too seriously. Revare sets his fictional characters and situations in the very real Manhattan, Kansas--The Little Apple--quite a leap from protagonist Carl Krauthammer's previous residence in The Big Apple. Or is it? Even though Carl leaves the cut-throat business world (and a wife to match) to pursue his dream of writing fiction under the tutelage of a much-revered author, he finds that life on The Plains, whether is business or academia, can be just as duplicitous, conniving and self-serving as anything Wall Street dishes up. Sharp witted dialog and a likeable hero guide us through storylines that may seem a bit implausible, but are really pretty close to some of the "truth is stranger than fiction" stuff that regularly pops up on the internet or in the news. I particularly enjoyed the "lactivists"--a radical, La Leche League-type group--and the ripped-from-today's headlines desire (or dread) of authors whose books are selected for Oprah's Reading Club. ...more
Marjorie Hart's Summer at Tiffany is rated G. Golly gee. Gee whiz. Pretty tame stuff compared to the likes of other memoirists like Rick Bragg, JeanneMarjorie Hart's Summer at Tiffany is rated G. Golly gee. Gee whiz. Pretty tame stuff compared to the likes of other memoirists like Rick Bragg, Jeannette Walls, Augusten Burroughs or David Sedaris. Hart's tale takes place during the summer of 1945 when she and a sorority sister from Iowa land jobs as pages at the iconic New York jeweler--jobs usually reserved for men. Highlights include getting caught in the rain without umbrellas, watching slack-jawed as celebs like Judy Garland came into the store, and eating sundaes for lunch at Schrafft's. These goody-goodies went on double dates with midshipmen, got sunburned at Jones Beach, and got thrills from singing college fight songs.
Despite its naivete, the book has its charms, painting a quaint picture of America during wartime--curfews, no nylons, etc. Patriotism was the order of the day and crowds gathered at Times Square to read war news on the ticker. If you're looking for a juicy co-ed tell-all, this isn't it... but with the terror, violence, promiscuity and general bad behavior that appears to be the norm these days ("Jersey Shore", anyone?), Summer at Tiffany provides a welcome respite. If it's not for you, chances are your mother or grandmother would love it. ...more
I am amazed and impressed when a writer has the courage to tell ugly truths. Jeannette Walls' memoir is a jaw dropper--the true story of extreme parenI am amazed and impressed when a writer has the courage to tell ugly truths. Jeannette Walls' memoir is a jaw dropper--the true story of extreme parental neglect and emotional (at times, physical) abuse.
The fact that no family, neighbor or social service agency ever removed Walls and her siblings from their home is staggering and scary. How many others are out there being reared in abject poverty and hunger in homes that should be bulldozed? How many others have alcoholic and mentally ill parents who are not equipped in any way to raise them?
This is not a simple story of a poor family struggling to make ends meet. This is a story of two very sick parents whose only struggles were to satisfy their own desires: alcohol and delusions of grandeur for the father; art and extreme selfishness for the mother. Although the story makes no mention of diagnoses of mental illness for Mr. and Mrs. Walls, it is clear that they both were very, very ill. They shouldn't have had the privilege of having children and, although their parenting "skills" were horrendous, I'm glad they were parents. Otherwise, Jeannette wouldn't be around to tell her story, one that even in its most painful moments, is a tale of determination and spirit that could not be crushed. The world needs truth-tellers and Jeannette Walls tells her painful story with grace that reveals an underlying affection for parents many of us would have hated. ...more
One out of every three people knows someone who has been impacted by childhood sexual abuse; we just don't know it because no one talks about it...
KarOne out of every three people knows someone who has been impacted by childhood sexual abuse; we just don't know it because no one talks about it...
Karen E. Fennel’s story is courageous, sad and, ultimately, redemptive as a young adult and his family face down debilitating fallout from a revelation of ongoing sexual abuse. This is a crime that is too often not punished and routinely hushed up—especially in idyllic, affluent suburban enclaves. I know, because I grew up in the town where this happened.
Straying Toward Truth is a journey of heartbreak and healing told in three voices—victim, mother and therapist. It is a poignant memoir as well as a guide for navigating the process of recovery for individuals and families. Fennell’s honesty is staggering as she admits to her darkest moments as the parent of a child who has been repeatedly molested by his pedophile uncle. It may have been easier to just “drop it” or “get past it,” as most of Fennell’s extended family urged her to do, but it also would have been wrong. Whether or not the perpetrator is held legally or personally accountable, the victim must confront the truth of what happened in order to heal.
The book, like any worthwhile therapeutic process, is not designed as a quick fix. It details a thoughtful, honest process that ultimately leads to healing. It is realistic about the time such a journey can take, the grief involved and the up and down nature of the process. As a survivor, Sam is brutally honest about the toll sexual abuse has taken—its impact on his relationship with his girlfriend, his trust of others, his belief in himself. It is uplifting to see Sam’s evolution as he slowly crafts a new and healthy life. At the same time, it is clear that the entire family is affected when one its own is wounded. The idea of “family” is tested and both the author and victim ultimately redefine what constitutes “family” as they move forward.
The book's personal accounts are threaded with the therapist’s point of view on numerous issues that come up during the recovery process. That voice is extremely helpful in sorting out various strategies for healing—not every step is appropriate for every victim. For example, some need to tell a lot of people their story, while others are simply not served by that much self-disclosure. The individual therapist helps victims navigate the strategies that work best for their situation.
Our society needs to stop looking the other way when it comes to dealing with the ugly truth of sexual abuse. Too many children are wounded and exploited, even blamed, while their pedophiles walk nonchalantly down Main Street. It is a bizarre world where victims are made to feel like they are the dirty ones, the ones who’ve done something wrong. I applaud Karen Fennell and her son for breaking the obscene societal rules that encourage us to keep sexual abuse a secret. It’s a dirty secret and it needs more telling.
Rhoda Janzen breaks Mennonite convention by getting a PhD and marrying an atheist. As her story unfolds she reveals there's a lot wrong with her husbaRhoda Janzen breaks Mennonite convention by getting a PhD and marrying an atheist. As her story unfolds she reveals there's a lot wrong with her husband and their union. Reeling from the demise of her marriage and a serious, concurrent auto accident, Janzen takes stock of her roots.
Janzen's memoir is pleasant enough--and has a great title!--but I kept wanting more. More heart, more self-disclosure, more connection. Maybe she just doesn't have that much to say. In the company of memoirs from authors like Jeannette Walls and Augusten Burroughs, Janzen's falls flat. She tells us about her unwell husband, but we never understand the attraction or the depth of the pain he caused her. She leaves unfinished a story about dating a younger man... never deeply explores the conflict she has with her still-Mennonite brothers... and ends with an uninspired chapter explaining some Mennonite basics. I feel like I never really saw her in the little black dress... ...more
I bet many families and most small towns have an Olive Kitteridge... someone who seems to have been born a curmudgeon and is so formidable (not in a gI bet many families and most small towns have an Olive Kitteridge... someone who seems to have been born a curmudgeon and is so formidable (not in a good way) that some in Crosby, Maine would cross the street rather than have an encounter with her. Olive appears to be set in her ways, opinionated, judgmental, somewhat humorless and cold. Still, there are glimpses occasionally of a kind heart and sharp wit. Olive is not a bad person--not in the least--she just has kind of a bad personality. She has the town's sweetest man for a husband and people ask, "How can Henry stand her?" Well, clearly Henry must love her. They have built a life together. That life stands as the glue in Elizabeth Strout's lovely set of linked stories. In some, Olive has a bigger roll than others, like the one where she visits her son and his new wife in New York City. Olive, for the life of her, cannot understand why her son has been so distant and short with her. Knowing Olive, we have an idea. In other stories, her role is as small as a mention. She taught school for many years, so lots of people have known Olive.
Strout's book details both everyday and extraordinary days of small town life. Marriage, divorce, affairs, death, love, loyalty. Olive's biggest flaw is her complete lack of self-awareness. She has no clue what a pill she can be. Still, there is the occasional softening, which Strout imbues in Olive with perfect measure and timing, so that we forgive some of her shortcomings and actually view her with affection. We may roll our eyes at Olive's boorishness but by book's end we're rooting for her and wouldn't mind a few more stories. ...more
First-person treatment of the story attempts to give the novel a personal feel. And although it reads a bit like a memoir, I felt an emotional distancFirst-person treatment of the story attempts to give the novel a personal feel. And although it reads a bit like a memoir, I felt an emotional distance from the mother character that made it hard to have much empathy. She was cold and even cruel to her daughter and we never really know why. That said, there was little relevant evidence leading up to her arrest and subsequent trial for witchcraft. Most of the characters in the story are patently unlikeable. The most riveting, albeit most horrific, section of the book takes place in the Salem jail, where conditions are beyond 21st-centry comprehension. Despite the cruelty, abuse, dishonesty, bigotry and sanctimonious behavior of many, there are a few kindnesses, reprieves and perhaps even miracles that make The Heretic's Daughter an interesting read. Not going on my all-time favorites list, but definitely worth reading for anyone who has an interest in New England during that dreadful, historic time. ...more
John Williams' Stoner is a treasure, a near perfect example of "The Novel." There is nothing spectacular about the story, but Williams manages to keepJohn Williams' Stoner is a treasure, a near perfect example of "The Novel." There is nothing spectacular about the story, but Williams manages to keep us interested by injecting affection and sympathy into a rather plodding character who leads an imperfect and often dull life. Published in 1965, Stoner reads like a classic. Lean, straightforward prose draws surprisingly rich portraits of the protagonist professor, his colleagues and his family. In less capable hands, these people and their treatment of one another could be depressing as hell but, while not exactly uplifting, the story is buoyed by incidents of loyalty, acceptance and respect. There is love in the story, just not the flowery, sexy, commercial stuff of today's blockbusters. Love in Stoner sneaks up quietly, tempered by spartan upbringings, societal roles and the times (early to mid 20th century). Rather than joy and happiness, love in Stoner is forbearance, endurance and truth. Even when the truth is ugly, Williams' masterfully makes Stoner subtly beautiful....more
A Wolf at the Table is a brutal account of Augusten Burroughs' relationship--or lack thereof--with his physically and mentally ill father. It is a tesA Wolf at the Table is a brutal account of Augusten Burroughs' relationship--or lack thereof--with his physically and mentally ill father. It is a testament to the fortitude and heart of Augusten as a young boy that, despite constant rebuffs and cruelty, he continued to seek a loving daddy in a man who was completely incapable of being one.
In his other memoirs, Burroughs has been extremely candid about his bizarre upbringing, his sexuality and his addiction. Where previously he has tempered some ugly truths with a sharp wit, there is not a shred of humor in A Wolf at the Table. There is terror, abuse and just plain evil.
Burroughs' incisive and thoughtful writing expertly draws us into the horror that was his childhood and our hearts break right along with his as his manipulative, narcissistic father rebuffs and neglects him time and again.
The book is heartwrenching and horrifying and obviously cathartic. If you have not read Burroughs' other memoirs* don't read this one first! If you are a fan, as I am, you will love the book because it is Augusten's story, and you will hate the father who, surely must have hated himself. Augusten's mother is no prize either. Although we believe she loves him the best she can, her attempts to protect him from his damaging father are largely unsuccesful. Plenty of opporunities for armchair psychology here.
Ultimately, A Wolf at the Table is a triumph for Burroughs because we know the odds were always stacked against him and he, thankfully, refused to accept that fact.
*Running With Scissors, Dry, Magical Thinking and Possible Side Effects. ...more
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