A medical/horror/thriller about evil lab rats that terrorize an entire town full of DUPLICATES. What the hell, you ask?
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Ok. Well, kinda. I'm goinA medical/horror/thriller about evil lab rats that terrorize an entire town full of DUPLICATES. What the hell, you ask?
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Ok. Well, kinda. I'm going to be honest, everything about this reads like one of those made for tv movies. A beautiful young wife is depressed and has been disconnected from life ever since her brother and son disappeared on a camping trip about a year ago. Her handsome broad-shouldered husband struggles to hold their family together and still be there for their little girl. BUT THEN! They run into her brother in a hotel lobby and he acts like he doesn't know who they are.
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Meanwhile. In a seemingly unconnected event, a doctor decides he's had enough and leaves the shady company he's working for, only to be ambushed and thrown off a balcony to his DOOM!
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But wait, there's more. Because this is a love story. See, when the couple decides to track down her brother for answers as to what happened to their little boy, they become embroiled in a secret experiment that involves (view spoiler)[downloading dead folk's brains and swapping them into a living body, seemingly overwriting that person's brain. OR DOES IT?
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(hide spoiler)] Can true love survive? Well, in this sort of fantasyland it certainly has a good chance!
"She was five feet ten with a sleek, model’s figure: perky firm breasts, a waist so narrow her husband could put his hands around it, and long, shapely legs."
Ok, Neiderman. You're trying to tell me a woman who has given birth not just once but twice, still has a waist that narrow? HOW BIG ARE HIS FUCKING HANDS, SIR?
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Oh! And this book has the honor of having the most unintentionally hilarious masturbation scenes I've ever read in a book. The evil scientist gets turrrrrned on by listening to the recordings of what's happening in her test subject's house and...
" In her erotic imaginings, the tape recorder had suddenly become a penis. She squeezed her eyes shut, but that only intensified the image and the sensation. Reluctantly, she began to surrender again, only this time she brought the tape recorder to her lips and kissed the smooth edge softly."
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Another thing that made me laugh was Neiderman's obsession with this dessert in the book called Better Than Sex. Like, he could not stop referencing it. As though it was the most risque thing he'd ever heard or something!
“Should I put up some coffee?” Elaine asked. “Oh no. Remember, I promised to take you and Melissa for dessert. Better Than Sex,” he added, smiling."
“I’ll order the Better Than Sex,” Elaine said, “but I hope it’s not true.”
"The waitress interrupted them with the platter of Better Than Sex and Melissa’s pie à la mode."
“You might be right,” she said licentiously, “this might be better than sex.”
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Alright. This was one of those books that we found because we read Grady Hendrix's Paperbacks from Hell: The Twisted History of '70s and '80s Horror Fiction. And it was as deliciously campy as I was hoping it would be. Would I recommend this to someone who was trying to find a great medical horror book? No. But if you're in the market for a silly throwback to those horror novels you used to be able to buy on a grocery store spinner? Well, you could do worse.
WARNING: READING THIS BOOK WILL CAUSE YOUR TBR TO GROW EXPONENTIALLY.
Seeing these covers took me back. Remember those crazy covers that were so much fWARNING: READING THIS BOOK WILL CAUSE YOUR TBR TO GROW EXPONENTIALLY.
Seeing these covers took me back. Remember those crazy covers that were so much fun to open up because they had the secret stuff on the inside?
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Hendrix is actually a funny guy and I laughed quite a few times at the descriptions and his phrasing. You can really tell that he's a big old dork, which just made me like him all the more. Because of course it did. This isn't some boring lecture on old paperbacks, it's a love letter to his favorite genre. And it's not just about the writers or the cover artists, either. You also get the inside scoop on the people who ran the publishing companies and came up with all these crazy gimmicks to sell us these wonderfully nutty stories.
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My personal trifecta of horror - creepy child, creepy doll, creepy clown. Behold! The Voice Of The Clown:
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On the flip side, plant horror never really did it for me. On the surface, it seemed as though I could just spray the monster in the face with some kind of weed killer and that would be the end of it.
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I'd never heard of most of these novels and it turns out that they aren't at all easy to find, but I'm on a mission now. And you will be, too, if you pick this book up.
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Grady Hendrix had a way of making me want to read the fucknuts plots in these older horror stories that I'd never heard of before this book. And even if you never track down any of the books he mentions, this is a hell of a lot of fun all on its own.
An interesting short story about a sociopath who was born with the power of exorcism. It takes place in a world almost like our own, but with a few twAn interesting short story about a sociopath who was born with the power of exorcism. It takes place in a world almost like our own, but with a few twists.
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None of what he does is religious at all. He just has the power to expel demons out of people. If they don't leave he can somehow hurt them, but if they don't leave willingly they can also do a lot of damage on their way out of the human host. It's a catch-22.
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How does he know someone is possessed? Well, he (and others like him) can see what normal people can't, AND they can communicate with these demons.
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But this is not a scary story about someone possessed by the devil. This is a tongue-in-cheek tale about what would happen if someone who didn't give a shit about right and wrong went up against an immortal being. Cute. I'd definitely read a full-length book by this author....more
I'm not sure I've ever laughed that hard while reading a book. Ever. Like, out loud with tears running down my face. Not even kidding a little bit. Ok, aI'm not sure I've ever laughed that hard while reading a book. Ever. Like, out loud with tears running down my face. Not even kidding a little bit. Ok, and that may be because the timing on this was nigh on perfect. I was very much in the mood to Carole Baskin my husband when I came across this book, and it hit me directly in the funnybone.
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See, my spouse & I were at the time going several rounds over this hideous thing he did to our mailbox after a few too many Margaritas. He got this brilliant idea to use these rocks he found on the side of the road, some ratty sort of half-dead grass plant, and CACTUS that (I'm assuming) he also found on the side of the road. Then he stuffed all of his redneck plants into the ground and dug up the surrounding grass at some sort of an off-kilter angle and plopped his nasty roadside rocks all around my poor mailbox. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?!
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I was so mad I kept getting up that night to peer angrily out the window at it. Eventually, I stomped downstairs and slept on the couch. For THREE days.
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Each morning I would put on a pot of coffee and make my way upstairs while he was getting ready for work, just so that I could Google things in front of him like this: Cute Mailbox Landscaping. The Proper Way to Landscape Your Mailbox. How Not To Look Like a Hillbilly When Landscaping Your Mailbox. How to Fix Fucked Up Mailbox Landscaping. My vacation to the sofa pinched something in my spine, causing my leg to tingle unpleasantly for days afterward. In fact, I'm still revving up the heating pad at night to make up for sleeping on that caved-in monstrosity that my children have ruined with their inability to sit down on anything gently. And yet, even with the knowledge that my big toe and right ass-cheek will likely continue to have the odd twinge for the next few weeks, I'd still sanctimoniously snatch up my pillow and loudly make my way downstairs. Why?
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Because I wore him down! Was there ever a doubt in your mind? And right now when I look out my window and peer at my mailbox, there's a nice set of pavers surrounding some colorful bushes and tasteful plants accented with white rock.
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Here's how it went down: 7am Day 3 Him: So. What? Are you saying you don't like what I did to the mailbox? Me: [image]
Him: Fine then. I guess I'll just go out and move it all BEFORE I GO TO WORK THIS MORNING. *pauses for me to tell him not to trouble himself* Me: [image]
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*happy sigh* Gone are the half-dead sprigs of roadside weeds. Gone are the mismatched rocks thrown haphazardly in an off-centered half circle. Gone are the torn clumps of cactus pushed into the ground with all the finesse of a drunken toddler. Although the mailbox itself still tilts slightly to the left because he ran it over with the U-Haul on the day we moved in. This was apparently my fault, though, because I had parked my car in such a way that it obscured his field of view. Whatthefuckever. Idiot.
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I said all that to say this, the level of gleeful pettiness in this book is something that you can only have between two people who realize they are financially & socially trapped together - in my case, till death do us part. These two were only engaged and already they were feeling the pinch! Now add 20 years to that...
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At some point, every part of a couple's life becomes unbelievably twisted together. What should be comforting can start to chafe, and then the quiet realization sets in that you two are fucking stuck together. You can't leave because then you're the asshole that left. You can kiss your mutual friends goodbye because they are inevitably going to side with your poor discarded ex. Also, you usually get stuck footing the bill for shit if you leave.
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BUT. If you get the other one to pull the plug on the life support? Well, then you can skip-a-dee-doo-da right out the door free and clear as the injured party!
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How exactly do you go about getting someone to leave you once you realize that they have the same plan in mind? That is the story You Deserve Each Other is telling. The insidious future mother-in-law, the preppy snob of a fiancee, the feelings of annoyance mingled with embarrassment...
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And when our hilarious heroine pulls off her gloves and throws away all of her fucks it turns into a giant game of relationship chicken. I honestly can't believe this was Sarah Hogle's debut book. How? This woman is legitimately so funny she may be responsible for saving my husband's life.
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Instead of feeding him to a tiger, I just went and read a little more of this book. In fact, I'm buying the book so the next time he pulls something stupid (and he will) I will have something to do with my hands other than choke the life out of him. It's a win-win situation!
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Highly Recommended!
PS - I'm looking for a reasonably priced meat grinder. Asking for a friend.
2021 Audiobook Review I listened to the audiobook this time around because I saw that my library purchased a copy. I ran across it accidentally and was soooo excited. I wasn't even planning a re-read any time soon, but I couldn't pass this up. You know how a funny narrator can make even a mildly funny book hilarious by adding extra inflections and whatnot? Yeah. Well, this narrator wasn't bad, but let's just say it was funnier when I read it myself. It was still a cute book, but I wouldn't shell out the extra $$ for the audiobook.
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Publisher: Penguin Random House Audio Publishing Group Edition: Unabridged Taylor Meskimen - Narrator...more
This was a short, sweet novella (did I mention free?) from Tessa Dare. I love the fell in love with best fFree at the Kindle store! <--for now, anyway.
This was a short, sweet novella (did I mention free?) from Tessa Dare. I love the fell in love with best friend's sister for years trope and this one was adorably well done.
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Our hero steps in to save his secret love from the shame of being abandoned at the altar, and then they proceed to his (unbeknownst to him) horribly maintained vacation cottage by the sea. To him, he's an unsuitable choice that has been unfairly thrust upon this goddess of a woman, and he's trying desperately not to offend or frighten her delicate sensibilities. The poor lady has lost her brother and has been forced by circumstance to marry his best friend or face ruin! Turns out, there's a lot he doesn't know about his wife or how she really feels about him.
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If you're jonesing for some Tessa Dare, this hits the spot! Recommended!...more
I'm not into guys with beards, but Eloisa James made it work for me.
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This was cute and fluffy, and it didn't drag on and on at the end. It wasn'I'm not into guys with beards, but Eloisa James made it work for me.
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This was cute and fluffy, and it didn't drag on and on at the end. It wasn't my favorite romance that I've ever read, but I don't have any complaints about it, either. Good stuff!
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The gist is that Lavinia Gray's crackhead mom not only used her entire inheritance to buy drugs (ok, laudanum, not crack), but also stole a shitton of jewels and whatnot from Lavinia's friends (and maybe a close cousin, I'm not entirely sure) to support her habit.
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Anyway. Lavinia (up till now) has been known for her stunning beauty and charming personality. When she had a sizable dowry, she was the pick of the litter. And even without it, she's so all-around awesome that guys are still falling over themselves to win her over.
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So what's the problem? There's not one, actually. I mean, her friends aren't going to press charges and because of that, the likelihood of it getting out that her mom is a thief is fairly small. Also, the Wildes have had her mother put in an old-timey drug rehab center, so she's pretty much taken care of for the time being. Still, she's humiliated and wants to find a way to undo her mother's crimes. This is where Parth comes in. He's wealthy and powerful and all things delicious. <--except for the beard. I'm not convinced. Regardless, Lavinia proposes to him in a moment of desperation (he's her secret crush), but he turns her down (even though he's secretly got the hots for her, too), promising to help her find a rich dude to marry. Whoever she marries needs to be (supposedly) enough of a badass to squash anything about her mom from getting out in the open. Enter the somewhat superfluous John Wick gif: Because anytime you can use a John Wick gif to describe badassery, you should...
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Another big part of the plot is that Lavinia turns her eye for fashion into quite a thriving business for herself. That, in turn, gains her a fraction of independence. Which means that Parth is going to have to put his foot in his mouth due to his manly-manness. Bonus? He didn't come off like too big of a douche.
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Things like that happen, of course. You know that rom-comish is nonsense that would never happen in real life, but makes you smile anyway? The mistaken intentions, the misunderstandings, and finally...the overblown and overdramatic confessions of feelings?
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Well, that was kind of how it all went down, and I thought it was pretty well done. Lavinia is quite likable and so is Parth. I think I'm going to have to go back and check out the other books in this series....more
This isn't one I want to come back to, but if you enjoy the angst of the New Adult genreDNF 8%
Rock stars with addiction issues aren't my cuppa.
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This isn't one I want to come back to, but if you enjoy the angst of the New Adult genre and emotionally draining men, then this might be right up your alley....more
It's not particularly bad or anything, but I've renewed it twice from the library and just can't seem to get into it for whatever reasDNF 35%
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It's not particularly bad or anything, but I've renewed it twice from the library and just can't seem to get into it for whatever reason. The heroine gets kidnapped in order for the hero to use her to stop some sort of English takeover - no idea if the historical stuff is accurate and, quite honestly, I don't care. There's nothing awful about either character or the plot so far, just a dude trying to save his country without being too skeevy. Like I said, this just seems to be a case of something that's not grabbing me and not a case of bad writing or awful storyline....more
I'm not really 100% into Chick-Lit, but this is one of those books that I've seen pop up over and over again on all the Best Of lists over the years, I'm not really 100% into Chick-Lit, but this is one of those books that I've seen pop up over and over again on all the Best Of lists over the years, and I've grown quite curious.
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No, seriously. True story.
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Anyway. I've been on the hunt for really funny fluff this past month and finally decided to pull the trigger on my first Sophia Kinsella book. Supposedly, this was a HI-LARIOUS rom-com, and I was in the market for exactly that. However. Sometimes what makes me smile doesn't match up with everyone else in the room...
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So was it funny? Yes. No. Kinda?
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I mean, it wasn't the sort of humor that had me doubled over, gasping for breath, but there were cute moments. It was the kind of jokey stuff that would have done well with a laugh track or something. <--if that makes sense?
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BUT. Even though this wasn't exactly what I was initially looking for, I still had a reallyreallyreally good time reading it! It was just a super cute romance-y little story about a young woman in the middle of getting serious about her career path, finding a man she loves, and simultaneously growing a set of balls.
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I've noticed that I never really find the resolutions to the assy family and/or assy friend drama in Chick-lit to me sufficiently, um...resolved, I guess? And this one was no different. The ending felt sort of rushed as everything gets kinda built up to this crazy-dramatic showdown, then everyone whistle-farts away into a Happily Ever After. <--I've come to expect that, it's not even a deal breaker anymore.
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There was quite a bit of the ridiculous in this as far as nonsensical plot stuff goes, but I don't read this genre to get a glimpse of realism. So, a lot of the nuttier aspects of the story, (view spoiler)[like the way her co-workers figured out he was talking about her on television (hide spoiler)], get a pass from me. If you're looking for something fluffy to get you through the week, I would say Can You Keep a Secret? is a great choice....more
This is the story of a girl who falls in love with a boy and his guitar.
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Also, he's kinda in the States illegally. And due to a convoluted plot This is the story of a girl who falls in love with a boy and his guitar.
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Also, he's kinda in the States illegally. And due to a convoluted plot that could only happen in a romance novel, she marries him so he can save her uncle's Broadway musical. <--because only his amazing guitar riffs will do!
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Ok. I only picked this up because it was on a list somewhere as a humorous romance novel, and I was in the mood for a rom-com. THIS WASN'T FUNNY. However, it doesn't market itself as a chuckle-a-minute story, so that was my bad for not delving a bit deeper before snagging it.
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For the most part, though, this was cute. The one weird thing about it was that it seemed to gloss over the big issues that already came with the story (like marriage to a stranger & them moving in with you - and this creates zero problems whatsoever? I beg to differ, sir!) and then manufacturing drama from weird stuff that didn't make a lot of sense. (view spoiler)[ He lied to his parents for YEARS by telling them he was married to a girlfriend he dated for 6 months, under the pretense that he didn't want them to worry about him. W.H.A.T.? Why would you just not lie to them and tell them you had a great job?! I mean, if you're going to lie, that lie is pretty fucking easy to back out of if things get dicey! A pretend wife? Not so much.
Also, that he wanted her to go along with this lie and just pretend to be this other girl while his mom and sister were in town was just...stupid. This is your time to come clean, idiot. Rip the band-aid off and tell Mommy what you did. PLUS, he kept telling Holland that he had already told his family about their marriage. I mean, he wasn't trying to guilt her into telling her parents or anything, he just kept making casual mention that his family was ok with it. Hello? That was a HUGE lie that was never addressed in the ending. He didn't tell his family he married Holland because they thought he was ALREADY married to some chick named Amanda!
Ok, and then the thing at the end with him and an actress on Twitter? Enough with the misunderstandings already. (hide spoiler)]
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The only thing I felt could be legitimate drama was when she got busted for having a 6 month crush on him before their marriage. I had to agree with him on the ewwww factor. However, it was off-putting (considering this is a romance) that he never noticed her before she got coshed over the head by the subway hobo, and even more off-putting that he didn't step in to do a more manly rescue than to call the police and report that she fell on the tracks. <--my hero!
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Plotwise this was ok as far as romances go. I tend to gravitate towards the funnier stuff, but it was still sweet. So. I guess I kinda liked it, but I didn't like it like that because I couldn't relate to either of those guys or their life issues.
I would love to say that I appreciate the way the author reimagined this character from the The Odyssey and...whatever else she was in, but t3.5 stars
I would love to say that I appreciate the way the author reimagined this character from the The Odyssey and...whatever else she was in, but the truth is this: Everything I know about Circe comes from reading comics.
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So, yeah. I'd some vague recollection that she did something, at some point, somewhere in Greek literature. Ish. Mostly, though, I've always thought of her as a character who was out to get Wonder Woman. I'm admitting to that so that you know right off the bat that you're not dealing with someone who has an educated opinion on Miller's retelling.
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And maybe because of my non-classical Circe introduction, I wasn't as blown away by this as everyone else. Now, don't get me wrong, this was an incredibly well-written story about a weird little goddess who doesn't fit in with the rest of the pantheon, her journey of self-discovery, and all the rather dull adventures she has along the way. I just...eh. I was hoping she'd zap some Amazons or something.
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The gist is that Circe has self-esteem issues because she grew up with horrible parents, horrible siblings, and a horrible group of extended family members surrounding her since her birth. This is more than likely the reason she has shitty taste in men and allows everyone to walk all over her. And, you know, while I always find it fun to read about girls like that, I still kinda wanted to see her zap Amazons.
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But in all seriousness, this was lovely. It's a very personal tale about a woman that uses Greek mythology as a rich backdrop for the setting. If you enjoy pouring over the details of an old story told in a new way from a different point of view, you'll love this.
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As a retelling that had to stick to some basic rules and plot points, I can see why this was such a huge hit with so many readers. But as a straight-up story for someone like me, it didn't move very quickly and I found myself putting it down to go read other things. I just didn't care that much about her inner thoughts or what flowers she had to smoosh up to make potions. Even so, I recognized that Miller has some serious talent to make a c-list Greek god's life into a hit novel. If this sounds remotely like your jam, then I would heartily recommend you check this one out. Just don't expect some sort of Percy Jackson-level action in the story. Or for Circe to zap any Amazons......more
That's right, folks. We've transitioned from assassins to gladiators! Now, some of you will (like me) love this, but some of you? Ehhhh4.5 stars
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That's right, folks. We've transitioned from assassins to gladiators! Now, some of you will (like me) love this, but some of you? Ehhhhh. Maybe not so much...
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Personally, I loved the way Kristoff mixed it up this time around. There was pseudo-Roman empire feel to the setting of the story in the first book, so (to me) this was a natural progression of that same story. But I can see how some might find the transition jarring because my mind doesn't automatically translate ninja assassins into gladiators, either.
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Regardless of the setting, I felt like Mia's character remained consistent, and that was really the most important thing for me. I thought the change in scenery was an extremely interesting pivot for a second book to take and, to me, the story benefitted from it quite a bit.
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Again, that's just my personal take on it. Speaking of personal preferences, for those who found the sillyish footnotes annoying and/or weird? If you didn't like them before, you probably still won't like them. BUT. <--and I have no data to back this up It seemed like there were less of them this time around. Now, considering the fact that I did like them and thought they were a funny way to break up any monotony, you may want to take that with a grain of salt. I wasn't exactly taking notes for my extensive data collection about the footnotes.
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So how does Mia end up fighting in an arena? Well, she sells herself into slavery, of course! And why the fuck would she ever do something like that? Well, I'm sure as hell not going to tell you. I mean, that would ruin the story, don't you think?
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What I can tell you is that Mia continues to be a badass, the old and new characters continue to be amazingly 3 dimensional, and the plot continues to thicken. Highly recommended....more
This was her first book and it shows. A few pages in and the hero mentioned how happy the heroine should be that he had so much self-control the nightThis was her first book and it shows. A few pages in and the hero mentioned how happy the heroine should be that he had so much self-control the night before (she had fallen in a frozen lake and he pulled her out in popsicle form) and I just...
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I decided to cut my losses and call it a day. It wasn't really sucking me in with the usual Kleypas magic, and even she admitted in the foreword that this was sort of a dud. So. Recommended for Kleypas completionists only....more
What if Superman was evil? In fact, what if all superpowered beings were evil? <--and that's the premise of this book.
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So. If (for unknown reasoWhat if Superman was evil? In fact, what if all superpowered beings were evil? <--and that's the premise of this book.
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So. If (for unknown reasons) there were suddenly people granted superpowers, and (for unknown reasons) they all turned into bad guys, and they all (for unknown reasons) had secret strange weaknesses that made no sense - then who would fight them? Enter the Reckoners! A bunch of humans who ferret out the weakness and then kill the Epic. <--Epic is what these powered people are referred to as, btw. Basically, these Reckoners are just the Great Value version of Batman.
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Alright, so society has been destroyed by the Epics, and there's no point (and in most cases, no way) for the puny humans to fight back. David lives in this city (used to be Chicago) that's run by one of the most powerful Epics out there, Steelheart, and he dreams of bringing him down because Steelheart killed his father. AND ON THAT DAY, DAVID SAW HIM BLEED! <--this is important As in, the whole book is about David joining the Reckoners and convincing them that somewhere in his memory is the key to Steelheart's secret weakness. So they can finally... Take. Him. Down.
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Amidst the plotting, hiding, and fighting there's an awkward love story thrown in with this girl named Megan. (view spoiler)[It really annoyed me that it was incredibly obvious almost from the first that she was an Epic, but that it was played out like it was some BIG REVEAL at the end. Dude, seriously? Even her 'death' wasn't convincing! I was facepalming so hard by the time she was in the tunnels as the 'illusion' he was facing that I dented my head a bit. (hide spoiler)] Why did he even like her? She was an asssssshole. I get it, she was a hot asshole. But still! I wasn't exactly a fan.
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Ok, this was a pretty easy-breezy read so I don't want anyone to think I hated it, I just don't think I read the same book everyone else did. I simply didn't find David or his problems making metaphors endearing, I didn't care for the romance, and I didn't find the twists very twisty. (view spoiler)[Of course the leader-dude was an Epic! How did they not see that?! Or at the very least, become suspicious?! (hide spoiler)] BUT. I was able to scarf it down quickly and didn't find it some chore to slog through. I don't think I'll continue with the series, though....more
I found this in the anthology Night Shift, but I only wanted to read the Kate Daniels story. Sorry. But Jim and Dali are such a cute couple and I've wI found this in the anthology Night Shift, but I only wanted to read the Kate Daniels story. Sorry. But Jim and Dali are such a cute couple and I've wanted to read their story for so long. Anyway.
So Jim is Curran's BFF, head of the Cat Clan, and the Pack's enforcer (<--in this one), which makes him 100% badass.
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And Dali is a white tiger with a special magical skill set that makes her 100%...
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Well, ok. She's not exactly a badass. Especially by Cat Clan standards.
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First, she's a vegetarian. --> gets queasy at the sight of blood. That's, like...unheard of for shifters. Add to that, she's afraid of getting hurt and kind of a horrible fighter? Well, it almost makes the part where she needs to wear glasses no big deal. But it doesn't matter, because Jim is crazy about her just the way she is. Dawww!
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So this isn't the story of how they met, but it is the story of how Jim convinced her to believe in their relationship. And, of course, the best way to do that is to get into an adventure and go eat a bad guy together!
Of course, Dali usually fights things in a bit of a more magical way, but when it's Jim's ass on the line, she discovers she has more of an ability to ride to the rescue and roar than she thought she did.
Secret Adversary is the first Tommy & Tuppence novel. Ta-da!
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I'm not going to claim that it's great, but it was entertaining. And Christie manSecret Adversary is the first Tommy & Tuppence novel. Ta-da!
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I'm not going to claim that it's great, but it was entertaining. And Christie managed to make me think I KNEW who the hell dunnit, only to jerk the rug out from underneath me...again. <--to be fair, that's kind of her thing, you know?
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You know what was cute, though? All the snappy dialogue between the not-quite-yet lovebirds. I mean, it's probably not snappy by today's standards, but back in the day, I'm betting this was quite the sassy back and forth.
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The story is sort of out there with the wacky let's hire these two young people with ZERO experience to save the government from falling into the hands of EEEEEEEVIL men premise, but the characters are adorable. I'll definitely read more of their adventures someday.
PS - Inspector Japp gets a cameo mention in this!...more
As a Christie fan I'm wondering how this little gem escaped my notice all these years?
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I think Victoria may be the most adorable pathological liAs a Christie fan I'm wondering how this little gem escaped my notice all these years?
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I think Victoria may be the most adorable pathological liar you'll ever meet. You can't be mad at her because she's just so honest about it! <-- 100% true
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And you really shouldn't like her so much considering all the idiotic choices she makes which land her in incredibly dangerous situations. Starting with losing her job in the first chapter or so due to her need to perform a reenactment of a particularly embarrassing scene between her boss and his wife for her fellow typists. Of course, this frees her up to take off on an ill-advised adventure to Baghdad to find the handsome young man she exchanged a flirtatious conversation with on a park bench. Oh come on, girl!
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What ensues is the classic tale of a girl in love who follows her heart and gets mixed up in a political assassination attempt in another country, while working as an untrained mole in a cult...and becoming an amateur archeologist on the side. Because why not?!
If you like Agatha, you'll like this one.
2022 Audiobook re-read
Emilia Fox does an amazing job bringing all the characters to life in this. I'd definitely recommend the HarperAudio version!...more
This was pretty cute. Then again, anything from Kleypas usually is, so that's no great surprise, is it? I was surprised that I liked t3.5 stars
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This was pretty cute. Then again, anything from Kleypas usually is, so that's no great surprise, is it? I was surprised that I liked this one quite a bit better than Devil in Spring, though. Then again, I was looking forward to that one, and Hello Stranger...not so much. There wasn't much about Garrett in the past books that got me excited to read her story. It's not as though I disliked her character, but she seemed somewhat dull - not at all like the shiny Pandora! Which was odd considering she was a spunky female doctor facing all kinds of gender prejudice. Thankfully, that sort of thing wouldn't happen today...
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Anyway. I liked Garrett much better than I did the nutty, childish Pandora. For one, Garrett had a much more realistic outlook on life (for a romance novel) and a pretty level head on her shoulders (again, for a romance novel). There was, of course, the part where she throws all of her common sense out the window for hot sex true love, but... It's a romance novel.
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Yes. Yes, it is. And as such, you have to go into it with the expectation that, at the end of the day, even a woman who clawed her way into the position of 1st Female Doctor in the country is going to turn into a panting ninny when her Hero comes along.
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And when it comes to this genre, I'm ok with that sort of thing. Because I don't know what your real-life romantic experiences have been like, but mine have always been a tad, well... EXPECTATION:
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REALITY:
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So as long as the hero or heroine doesn't work my nerves with their stupid, then I say go ahead and coat the story with a thick layer of cheese. Yum. Thank you, Romance Writers! May I please have some more?
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PS - Kleypas very cleverly named her heroine after England's first (recognized) female doctor, Elizabeth Garrett Anderson:
Ok. This is a retelling of Rumplestiltskin...but not. What I mean is, Novik really took the idea of spinning straw to gold and the importance of a namOk. This is a retelling of Rumplestiltskin...but not. What I mean is, Novik really took the idea of spinning straw to gold and the importance of a name, and just made that shit her own new story. *tips hat*
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So, in this fairytale Eastern Europeanish setting, there's this spunky little Jewish girl named Miryem that kicks ass and takes names. She ends up with not only all the normal problems an ambitious female minority would have, but also the extra (and quite HUGE) problem of doing impossible things to keep the assy king of the (scary as hell) winter fairies (called Staryk) that live in the woods from doing scary as hell stuff to her. <--kinda? But Miryem is not one to be cowed by some bitchy fairy king.
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Then you've got Irina. A dumpy duke's daughter whose father uses some shady means (and a pinch of Staryk silver) to get the (creepy as fuck) tsar to marry her. She soon finds out that her not so beloved has a teeny little secret that just might get her eaten alive by more than just his court of petty nobles. Apparently, making a deal with a demon can backfire on you. <--who knew? But Irina is tougher than she looks.
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And then there's Wanda. This poor kid is just trying to survive her abusive home life when she gets pulled into the story by Miryem. Who, by the way, is only using her to collect a debt from her father. <--in case you were under the impression that our girl was a sweetheart. And maybe at first Wanda is just hanging on for dear life, but somewhere along the way she finds her voice.
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And then there's the rest of this enormous cast of characters... The POV changes in this thing are unreal. I lost track of how many voices there eventually were, to be honest. The pacing wasn't exactly breakneck, but in my opinion, the story was worth plodding through some of the more meandering parts. But if you're not a fan of books that you have to chew and chew and chew?
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Well, you've been warned. This was a thick-ass book and the length took me by surprise in the way that only an e-book can. You know what I mean? When you go in and grab a physical copy of something, and then your arm comes out of socket when you try to lift it up...you know what you're getting yourself into. But when you download a book? There's that moment when you realize that you've been reading for an hour and you're only 4% done with the thing. Always fun... Normally, I'm not a fan of stuff that doesn't hop along at a good clip, but Novak just turns my crank when it comes to storytelling, so she can get away with these wonky-ass long stories....more
Unlike the other books in this series, True Spies & Lord and Lady Spy, this one isn't based off a single movie, or3.5 stars
Bonde. Jane Bonde.
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Unlike the other books in this series, True Spies & Lord and Lady Spy, this one isn't based off a single movie, or at least I didn't see many similarities to Live and Let Die. It's just loosely based on the feel of all the Bond films. <--you probably didn't need me to tell you that, but I'm nothing if not a fount of repetitive and useless information.
Anyway. Our girl, Jane, is a spy. And a damn good one, having been trained by her uncle, who is the head of the elite Barbican group. As the blonde-haired, blue-eyed bombshell that leaves her fellow Englishmen falling over themselves at balls, no one would ever suspect this delicate beauty was one of the top agents in her country - which is exactly how Jane likes it! She's free to do things most women could only dream of, and she's content to keep it that way. Her life is perfect.
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Or it is until her uncle and aunt (who have been her guardians since childhood) inform her that she must marry. And not only that, but they have the man picked out for her! But not to worry, he doesn't want to marry her, either. Or does he?
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So, Jane and Dominic grudgingly get to know each other, he finds out what she does, and then those two crazy kids get into all sorts of adventures (read: near death experiences) together.
Ok, I thought this was a nice end to this series, what with everyone getting their HEA and the Big Bad from the other books finally being taken down. There was even a cute side romance between a Moneypenny character and a Q character. <--Awww!
My only complaint was that the end kind of got a bit convoluted. There was too much...stuff. Between her uncle's secret shame, her sudden anger at being trained by her uncle from such a young age, and the over the top nuttiness in general with the villains towards the end - it just got overwhelming. But. I would still say this one was super cute and well worth reading. Especially if you've read the other books because there are cameos from all the other characters, and you get to see how well everything is working out for them. If you're looking for a fluffy historical spy romance, this is a really fun series!
This is the novella about the agent, Blue, that appears in Galen's Lord and Lady Spy. Why is he called Blue? Well. Those eyes, for one.
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As one oThis is the novella about the agent, Blue, that appears in Galen's Lord and Lady Spy. Why is he called Blue? Well. Those eyes, for one.
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As one of the most mysterious and well-informed members of the Barbican group, Blue is sent to Italy to investigate the latest murders of a killer for hire known as the Reaper. This particular mercenary is known to work for the man who has been targeting Barbican agents, so he's got to capture him alive in order to (hopefully) get information out of him about his boss. But the bodies are starting to pile up, and he's going to need to employ all of his skills to find this guy before anyone else gets hurt.
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Unfortunately, it turns out the Reaper is targeting the owner of an opera house that happens to employ Blue's estranged wife, Helena. To say they did not part ways on good terms would be an understatement, but the spark that drew them together initially is still very much alive and well. Pent-up sexual tension is always fun!
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Now the mission is to stop the killer, save his fellow Barbican agents, and get out of there without falling in love with his wife all over again... Pfft. Not likely....more
True Spies is a spoof on the movie True Lies.<--although, I think most of you could have figured that one out on your own) And, like Galen's take on MTrue Spies is a spoof on the movie True Lies.<--although, I think most of you could have figured that one out on your own) And, like Galen's take on Mr. & Mrs. Smith, it's a pretty cute story that's worth reading.
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Ok, so Baron Winslow Keating (or simply, Baron, to the other agents) is one of England's best spies and has been for years. The Barbican group has been his life since he was a young man, and he's at the top of his game now.
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Fortunately for him, his wife is a sweet little thing who's so in love with him that he's been able to pretty much blow her off for the entirety of their marriage, secure in the knowledge that she'll be safely tucked away at his home, raising their daughters and helping her friends plan dinner parties. And that was the end of his thoughts for his wife - after all, it's not like he was in love with her or anything. Their marriage had been one of convenience. Convenient for him, anyway.
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So, that was that. Until one day, Elinor decides she'd had enough. As she sat there in her home, waiting...again...for her husband to take her to her friend's ball and not showing up...again. She asked herself why in the world is she still waiting around on her husband to fall in love with her after all these years?! He's never even pretended to care about her, so what does it matter if she goes out alone and makes herself happy? Off with the dowdy, married, old-lady dress and into the slinky, sexy, experienced-woman stuff.
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And, of course, this is when Baron's extracurricular activities lead him to be at the same ball as his wife. Who he suddenly realizes is quite...beautiful?! He also suddenly realizes he'snot the only one who's noticed what a gorgeous woman he's married to! Who the fuck are these young guys who are fawning all over his wife?!?
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Suddenly, all of Baron's considerable skills are being used to spy on his wife, who has been hoodwinked by this weasely little asshole who offered her some excitement in the form of helping England as a spy.
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A spy!? More like a douchebag who uses that as a line to pick up vulnerable women.
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Well, shit. He realizes his wife is a vulnerable woman, and it's all his fault. But no big deal, because she's crazy about him! All he'll need to do is show a little bit of interest in her and she'll be putty in his hands again, right? Eh. Turns out, his sweet little Elinor isn't as sweet as she once was, and to top it off, she's pretty much over his horseshit.
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So what's a spy to do when he realizes that he's royally fucked it up for more than a decade, and worse, that he's finally fallen in love with his wife?
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Alright. Baron is such a self-centered ass, and he's taken his wife for granted in every possible way for the entirety of their marriage. Now, I'm not one for cheating, but when Elinor decides to have an affair, I was cheering her on. <--she doesn't, by the way! But I felt in this instance, mainly because divorce wasn't an option in the time period, she was more than justified. He made her (unintentionally) feel unloved and unattractive due to his neglect, and his pompous attitude towards her because of the way he knew she felt about him made me grit my teeth. Baron's saving grace in this situation was that he had never cheated on her, and once he realized that it was his attitude towards her that was the cause of their marital troubles, he never ranted or raged that she had considered cheating on him. He just put all of his efforts into winning her back.
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And yes. It's quite an adorable story.
PS -If you're interested in Agent Blue? His story is told in the novella, The Spy Wore Blue, the events of which occur right before this sotry takes place....more
I thoroughly enjoyed Galen's Lord & Lady Spy series, so I (through one of those Amazon Kindle recommendations, I think?) ended up getting kicked into I thoroughly enjoyed Galen's Lord & Lady Spy series, so I (through one of those Amazon Kindle recommendations, I think?) ended up getting kicked into this series. Which...eh. Not as good, in my opinion. In all fairness, I started out with the second book, If You Give a Rake a Ruby, so maybe the first book was amazing or something. But the second book was cute enough and it made me want to find out who the Big Bad was bad enough that I grabbed up this one fairly quickly afterward. Annnnnd...?
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Yeah, it was a tad rushed and disappointing. The Big Reveal not the lovebirds falling for each other. <--that was ok It felt like (once it finally happened) that it wasn't really given the proper run-down. I wanted a few tidbits about the how and whys of the whole thing. Alas, it was not to be.
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But that's ok. Kinda. Because the romance wasn't badly done. I wasn't thrilled that it was one of those where the girl was madly in love with a guy who didn't know (previously) that she existed. It's just not my favorite trope. Whatever, you can't have it all.
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I didn't like (view spoiler)[ the adoption thing, either. I felt bad for her. She loved her son but had (years ago) to give him up or risk him starving to death. And she still can't ever let him know who she is, because of her life as a (fake) high profile courtesan. And I get that he had GREAT parents! Adoptive parents are REAL parents. Believe me, I know that. I just felt awful because in her situation she never wanted to give him up to start with. The whole thing seemed so unfair. Such is life, I suppose. At least the kid had an awesome home life. (hide spoiler)] And maybe that tainted this book for me a bit.
Overall? This was decent. I wouldn't run out and shove this series in anyone's face, though. If you're looking for a fun regency spy series (<--I think it's regency?) I'd recommend Lord and Lady Spy....more
Lord and Lady Smythe. Just your average, everyday, boring members of the ton.
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With the same average, everyday, boring problems.
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ExceLord and Lady Smythe. Just your average, everyday, boring members of the ton.
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With the same average, everyday, boring problems.
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Except for the part where they're each (unbeknownst to the other) spies for the British government, who end up vying for the same contract in order to win the prized spot on the intelligence team. Which leads to all kinds of surprises for both parties.
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So yes. This is a cliche, silly, over the top, Regency (is this Regency?) version of Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Complete with the meet-cute fight scene - during which Mr. Smythe learns what the term fight like a girlreally means.
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Turns out, there's a lot of pent-up sexual frustration between these two. Whodathunkit?
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Of course, for contrived reasons, they decide to work together despite their trust issues. And (after a rocky start) end up working everything out, catching the bad guy, and falling in love. Duh!
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Alright. If you're looking for a historically accurate romance, look elsewhere. This is just fluff with some fertility & misscarriage issues thrown in for good measure. But this was just what I happened to be looking for, so none of it bothered me at all. In fact, I had so much fun reading this I've already got the rest of the books in this series on hold already.
I wanted to see what all the hype was about, so I picked this up. And now that I'm done? Well, I agree with everythMy, my! What a catchy title!
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I wanted to see what all the hype was about, so I picked this up. And now that I'm done? Well, I agree with everything Manson says, but (like other reviewers have mentioned) everything he's written about is common sense stuff. Is that revolutionary? Maybe. What does it say about our society in general that any of what he's saying is...well, remotely necessary to say!? When the basic premise of a bestseller is that you should stop comparing yourself to what you see on television, movies, and social media, and just be content to be the best version of yourself - and scads of people find this to be awe-inspiring? Then perhaps it really did need to be said.
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The gist of this "groundbreaking" book is that there's no way to insulate yourself from bad times, and even if you could, those hardships are what make us better people. One of the biggest problems we seem to have is this nonsensical idea that chasing happiness is a worthwhile goal. I mean, it sounds great on paper, but it's not in any way, shape, or form realisitc...or healthy. Life will not give you a happy ending. Period. Endings are always sad. And we need to get over this ridiculous idea that at some point we'll get to sigh a big sigh of relief because our fairytale Happily Ever After has arrived.
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We can all save ourselves the trouble of trying to find happiness by just realizing that we need to choose to be happy now. Enjoy the small stuff, my friends, because tomorrow might just suck a giant dick. Your life will be good until it isn't. You'll be in love until you aren't. Your job will be fulfilling until you lose it. You'll be alive until you're dead. And nothing you do will change that.
Ok, granted, that doesn't sound awesome. But the point is, if you stop trying to live for some future Happiness High, prioritize what means the most to you now, and live with a fearless attitude towards the future? Then you're going to be much more content (and yes, happy) than someone who is constantly trying to measure up to unrealistic goals they've set in order achieve a sense of fulfillment. The end.
The book itself is fairly short and Manson's voice isn't terribly annoying. Read it or not. I don't give a fuck....more
I can't say I loved-loved it because it isn't a story I would read more than once. Dee is just f2.5 fluffy and readable stars. <--not too shabby
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I can't say I loved-loved it because it isn't a story I would read more than once. Dee is just far too annoying for that, in my opinion. You know those people who've been hurt by love so they act like drama queens (or kings!) whenever they're in a relationship? They say it's because they can't trust anyone, but most of the time they're just sorta selfish and enjoy making their partner work their ass off to prove their love for them. And/or they need an excuse to act like the douchebag they really are without actually fessing up to their selfish, douchebaggy nature.
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That's how Dee came across to me. A narcissistic whack-job with a bad temper and a penchant for wearing the stuff hookers donate to Goodwill.
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You know who I liked, though? Matthew. He was a nice dude and I'm glad he stood his ground there at the end. Although, I couldn't help but feel like he might be rethinking his "big win" in the love department after a few years of living Dee's insane gibberish about...well, pretty much everything. Regret: It stings.
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But, even with Dee's obnoxious personality tainting the story, I don't regret reading the book. It was cute enough to keep me flipping the pages, and if you have a higher tolerance for wounded women than I do, you'll probably really enjoy this one....more
I don't know how the modern American/Indian family functions, but I think this was a very sweet romance that (maybe) gave a pThis was so fucking cute.
I don't know how the modern American/Indian family functions, but I think this was a very sweet romance that (maybe) gave a peek into the inner working of some of those families. And that, to me (<--white bread) was kinda cool. There is not only so much room for other viewpoints and experiences in romance, but a really need for them, as well. So, this was an amazing breath of fresh air.
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The blurb tells you the gist of the plot, but it doesn't adequately explain how adorkable Dimple is or how loveable Rishi turns out to be.<-- Pssst! Very and very. I'm not saying it was perfect, but it was sweet and fun. Definitely Recommended!...more
I skimmed. A lot. While the plot was pretty interesting, there was just too much in the way of nonsense descriptions about the landscape and history ofI skimmed. A lot. While the plot was pretty interesting, there was just too much in the way of nonsense descriptions about the landscape and history of the town, which had no bearing on the story, for me to pay attention to every word. I just don't do well with stuff like that.
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But once you scraped off all the useless information, this was a fairly neat take on the tale of the Battle Between Good and Evil. The young girl in this coming of age story has a power inside of her that can be used to save the world...or to destroy it! *dum, dum, duuuum*
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That part of the book was good stuff.
The other problem I had (besides all the boring wah, wah, wah descriptions) was that all the adults in her life kept her in the dark about all the things she needed to know. And there was NO reason for it, other than to drive the mystery of her parentage, and set her up to potentially be so blindsided by everything that she might fail to make the right choice. <--That? It's quickly becoming my top pet peeve in books. It just...UGH!
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Still. I did (for the most part) end up enjoying this far more than I expected. I'd recommend this one to those of you who really love the Dark vs Light sort of storylines....more
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