Disclaimer: I got this book from the library without knowing ANYTHING about it. I didn't know it was a romance, didn't know when it was set, didn'tDisclaimer: I got this book from the library without knowing ANYTHING about it. I didn't know it was a romance, didn't know when it was set, didn't know anything. It's the first of Ahern's books that I've read.
And it was garbage. I don't like insta-love at the best of times, but it can be done right; and this book? It was done terribly, awfully, eye-rolling-ly bad.
This whole book felt like it was still an early draft, with stereotypical characters that really didn't have any depth to them. The plot was basically: an isolated girl, living in the idyllic woods, reveals her secrets; gets a taste for literal worldwide fame; then goes back to her idyllic life with a terrible boyfriend she insta-loved one day. It's about a documentary crew, but then it's about a weird talent show, then it's about romance, then it's about a murder mystery. It just felt like it was trying too hard at.... everything.
Solomon is the epitome of toxic masculinity. He's the entitled guy who feels possessive of whomever he loves--think Ross Gellar, but instead of being whiny about dinosaurs, he's angry, aggressive, and absolutely violent. He made me uncomfortable the whole book. There were no redeeming qualities about him.
And Laura/Lyrebird? Half the time, it seemed like she was a stereotypical "wild child" with no worldly knowledge; but the other half of the time, she was this wise woodswoman who made magical sounds (which she is sometimes aware of and sometimes not; she can practice the sounds, but she also doesn't realise she's doing them? It was so silly). She's 26 for god's sake, and the book is set in 2016. She was born in 1990 and has grown up with media and television--she says she watched TV and read books growing up, even before moving to the cottage at age 16--but it didn't seem/feel that her character reflected that culture at all. She had no depth.
I was mildly interested in Bo, but didn't get a lot of the story from her. She could have been interesting if the author had written more about her or from her perspective, but nope, we get a forced shitty romance between Solomon "I throw things and fantasise about assaulting people" Fallon and Laura "Am I mystical? Am I self-aware at all?" Button.
There's the character Rachel who has a WIFE! named, uhh, Susie I think? Rachel is basically written out of the book because her wife is pregnant, then in labour (they have a son named Brennan who is used to further the "magical" feelings that Laura emits; AKA, she mimics a baby cry and people get all paternal about it). No brownie points for having a queer character, because Rachel and her wife are basically plopped in to take up space, left out for parts 2 and 3, then brought in at the end THE DAY AFTER SUSIE GIVES BIRTH, so that Laura can mimic the newborn's cries. So stupid.
The writing quality was not very good. Lots of head hopping between characters, with no order to it, and many, many awkward sentences. Like the first example, below, of a paragraph I almost skipped over because it was an 80-WORD SENTENCE. So much passive tense. I don't know if it's a style thing, either, but the subject-verb agreements for collective nouns was REALLY bugging me.
Here are two instances that made me contemplate DNF'ing the book: a racist statement and a rape joke with a shitty cover-up afterward.
(Brace yourself for these TWO sentences.)
Previous formats of the show saw eliminated contestants who'd received the executioner's thumbs down leave in a cage carried off by gladiators, but this was abandoned after the first season when viewers protested at the offensive image of a ninety-two-year-old mother of eleven, whose children and grandchildren were in the audience, being carted off after her rendition of 'Danny Boy', and a crying ten-year-old boy whose magic trick had failed had a panic attack when forced to enter the cage. The execution cage, however, remained popular in a Middle Eastern version of the franchise.
(pg. 191)
What an unnecessary bit of racism. It's so offensive that the Irish audience has a stew, but it's popular in "a Middle Eastern version"? Fuck off!
___
Perhaps Rory realises he's losing Solomon's anger, that Solomon is no longer the underdog, because then he scrapes the barrel. 'She's a great little ride though,' he says, to his mother's dismay and a yell from his dad.
(pg. 330)
A rape joke. A fucking rape joke about Laura, who was blackout drunk. BUT THEN! It's followed up with this, a page later:
'There's such a thing as consent, probably not a word you're familiar with...' Cara explains. 'It requires the woman saying yes. It's a real thing. Other men actually have sex with women who aren't locked out of their heads. Women who can see the faces of their lovers. Now I know it's not usually how you operate, but--' 'Shut the fuck up, Cara.'
(pg. 332)
Ms. Ahern, you're still contributing to rape culture when you include a rape joke. I don't give a damn if you have a (weak) spiel about consent in response to it, because you still included the joke. You can't just include a little soundbite about consent, which is dismissed by the character who MADE the rape joke. Just gross. So gross.
Don't read the book. Find a better insta-love romance than this one, because this was garbage....more
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