I have a hard time believing anything will beat out The Regulars for my worst read of 2018. Not even a cameo by my beloved could turn my frown upside down . . . .
The premise here was a potentially fun one: three average girls are gifted a potion guaranteed to make them “Pretty.” My brain was swimming with visions of horrible comedy film good times from the past . . . .
Unfortunately, this was a complete and total fail for me. I don’t even know this woman, but Lisa Mossie says everything that needs to be said in her review so I’m linking it here. As for me? This gave me an anti-book-hangover – meaning I hated this so hard I think it gave me cancer I wasn’t even able to pick up a new book at all yesterday. I’m still not feeling it today either so I think Imma put up a Christmas tree when I get home and see if that cures what ails me. When the best thing about a story is . . . .
That’s not sayin’ a whole lot. As for what I would like to say to the three ladies in this book? It’s pretty simple . . . .
In case that wasn’t clear up there, I wouldn’t really recommend this to anyone. I know my subtlety is often an issue and leaves a real mixed message. ...more
When this popped up on my feed awhile back I immediately went to the library to see if it was available on audio – while simultaneously wondering how I had missed reading it back in my Zombies4Eva phase. Well, turns out I had read it but since I am a moron I had completely forgotten all about it. So unlike me, right? It also turns out back in the day I was even worse at reviewing than I am now because I straight up compared this to Zombieland. I’m surprised a hoard of townsfolk and their pitchforks didn’t show up on my front yard for that one! I guess it’s because they were both funny approaches to the undead? Or I used to smoke crack and have forgotten all about that too . . . .
Whatever the case, Shady’s back – back again – this time listening to a story I already read years ago. So what is the story, you ask? Sarah and Dave show up for their weekly marital counseling only to discover the “perfect” couple that has the appointment immediately before theirs nom-nomming on the good doctor. The two decide to call it a day and head home to . . . .
Plans change, however, when their neighbor tries to eat them. It’s then they realize that they’re going to have to go from passive aggressive to aggressive aggressive . . . .
And do whatever it takes to make it to their family . . . .
In the process? They might just save their marriage . . . .
This ended up being 3 Star fun the second time around. My only complaint? I HATED the narrator and it turns out she reads a shitton of audiobooks so now I’m sad for eternity. ...more
“What’s the opposite of a miracle?” Frances sat upright in her bed. “How many letters?”
As soon as I started French Exit it seemed very familiar to me. I went perusing my friends’ reviews and discovered Sam had experienced the same sort of déjà vu . . . .
And that should be enough to let you know if you want to take a roll of this dice with this one. There are no “sort of” Wes Anderson fans (and if anyone tries to tell you they “kinda” like his movies you should (1) ask them to name three of them as a test and (2) then cut them out of your life before they tell you a lie that’s actually harmful). The story here is of Frances, her son Malcolm and a little fella called Small Frank. Frances and Malcolm have lived high on the hog in the Upper East Side forever, but are being forced to change their lifestyle due to lack of funds . . . .
“What did you think was going to happen? What was your plan?”
“My plan was to die before the money ran out. But I kept and keep not dying, and here I am.”
This is a book that will constantly have you saying . . . .
But, if you’re like me, in the best way imaginable. Sam’s review points out that Frances and Malcolm may remind readers of another impossible-not-to-love mother and son duo . . . .
Which is pretty spot on.
I can’t tell you who I think would like this book. I just know I did . . . .
(And the fact that Sam did is pretty much like seeing a unicorn in real life so you might want to add it to the ol’ TBR just in case.)
“I have been swimming here for more than eighty years.”
I have zero clue how The Lido ended up on my to-read list. None of my Goodreads friends have read it and I know it wasn’t from the library software because currently that believes I’m studying hard on becoming either a methamphetamine manufacturer or a serial killer. Maybe it was one of those advertisements that appear in the middle of the feed here that make you think your friends have read it? Maybe???? Whatever the case, I think it was the cover that got me because I am nothing if I’m not the cheapest date imaginable. I do know that I have checked this book out . . . only to return it almost instantly two times before now. Why, you may ask? Because the blurb compared it to A Man Called Ove and that was pretty blasphemous to me. Now that I’ve read it? Yeah, it’s kind of like Ove. Only this time our senior citizen is a female and rather than wanting to kill herself she wants to keep everything she loves alive.
On the surface Rosemary’s goal is to stop a condominium development from going up and removing the community pool. But get a few pages in and you get the history of Rosemary and George’s 64-year marriage. It was so very Up. You know what I’m talking about???
And yes this crusty old barnacle even had a couple of moments like these . . . .
While not sheer perfection like Ove, I still called my mother-in-law at the 51% point to tell her she HAS to read this.
“Never be sorry,” she says, a storm in her eyes. “Never be sorry for feeling. Never be sorry for falling in love. I was never sorry. Not for a single day.”...more
Okay, maybe not. But she is 26 years old and has never done the deed. When she was a teenager, it was because she had certain ideals and expectations . . . .
By the time she got to college, her attitude was a little different . . . .
But now that she’s on the downhill slide toward 30 with V-card still firmly in place????
Nearly EVERY dude she comes into contact with is a possible contender. The only problem????
Julia kinda has a hard time sealing the deal and not talking herself out of it when opportunities arise. Spending the summer with her spinster aunt in Durham, Julia has a whole new approach to things . . . .
“Scrolling through the stock pictures on the tourism part of the website, I saw one of a man and woman laughing at a candlelit dinner. Another showed a couple wearing bright T-shirts and lounging in each other’s arms and staring at a hot-air balloon in the sky. I thought, This is where I’m going to lose my virginity. It would be like going to another country; I would be completely anonymous.”
And now Imma let the blurb do some of the talking . . .
“For readers of Rainbow Rowell …”
Wait, what? Okay, not really. I think they’re trying to hook lovers of Attachments, but since that is Rowell’s lesser-known story this would probably backfire horribly and wind up horrifying a bunch of Eleanor & Park fans instead.
“… and Maria Semple”
Okay, that’s more like it. Just be forewarned that it’s less of the sheer brilliance that made up Where’d You Go, Bernadette and more of the Today Will Be Different or This One Is Mine vibe/humor.
It truly is “filled with offbeat characters and subtle, wry humor ... is about the primal fear that you just. might. never. meet. anyone. It's about desiring something with the kind of obsessive fervor that almost guarantees you won't get it. It's about the blurry lines between sex and love, and trying to figure out which one you're going for. And it's about the decisions—and non-decisions—we make that can end up shaping a life.”
With the focus on a pretty stereotypical millennial who MANY will find extremely hard to like. I appreciated her irreverent wit, however, so maybe you will too????
P.S. If anyone would like to hire me for an “if you liked this, then you might LOVE this” kind of job, I’m super available and obviously I will name-drop a shit-ton of books in one place : )...more
Simply put, that’s my whole problem with The Real Lolita. This is a book that doesn’t have much book to it. There are few documents remaining to provide detail and the main players are all deceased. Heck, even the person who this is about is dead by the halfway point and my Kindle copy was wrapped up at 76%. The remainder of the story is full of quotes like the following . . .
“Here’s the point in the narrative where I would like to tell you everything that happened to Sally Horner after Frank La Salle spirited her away from Atlantic City to Baltimore, and the eight months they lived in the city, from August 1948 through April 1949. The trouble is, I didn’t find out all that much.”
As the author herself states . . .
“Inference will have to stand in for confidence. Imagination will have to fill in the rest.”
That just doesn’t cut it for me when it comes to a true crime novel. And the links between Nabokov’s and Horner’s tales are all based on presumptions as well. I mean, excluding the very upfront admission by Nabokov himself that Horner did inspire/breathe new life into the ongoing twenty-year project which was trying to give Humbert Humbert’s voice something to talk about. But the supposed symbolism and such were once again 100% speculation.
Like many other authors or students of literature, Weinman chooses to portray Nabokov as a bigger predator than the actual criminal himself. And like so many others, she has no proof behind any of her theories. I’ll happily admit Nabokov makes my hinky meter ping as well. His writing does tend to gravitate toward the same subject matter. But was he a pedophile or hebephile or ephebophile or simply fascinated with writing about the taboo? Most likely the latter.
It’s also abundantly clear how Weinman feels about Lolita - going so far as to reduce it to a “daring little sex novel.” She chooses to brush over the fact that this is a classic, subject matter notwithstanding - focusing on it selling a lot of copies rather than being a book entire literature courses are dedicated to studying. The baby is also sort of thrown out with the bathwater as fans are labeled as pervy wrongreaders who, for decades, were too stupid to realize Lolita was actually a victim and that in the present should simply keep their (and all other) copies firmly placed on bookshelves rather than encourage others to read at all, to which I say . . . . .
If you want to read about Sally Horner but aren’t lucky enough to have a public library like mine and share a similar beer budget which doesn't allow you to buy allllllll the books, I recommend skipping this one entirely and going for Rust and Stardust instead....more
Crooked Lane was the first publisher who ever believed in my crappy little space fillers enough to send me actual physical reader copies. I tend to hoard these until both the mood and season strikes me. Guess what? It’s finally the right time of year. No One Can Know is what I like to call a “palate cleanser.” A step above a cozy mystery due to the fact that the MC has a job that actually puts her in the middle of the action surrounding the whodunit rather than being some sort of nosey baker/librarian/antique store owner/etc.
The story here is about a pregnant car crash victim who winds up in nurse Frankie Stapleton’s ER at Stillwater General soon after a man who claimed to have hit a deer. The mother dies immediately, the man bolts from the hospital and the questions start flowing.
This was the perfect chilly Saturday afternoon read. I curled up on the oversize comfy chair, got out the blanket, drank coffee until my kidneys told me clear water is an option occasionally too and read this in a couple of hours. Obviously books like these aren’t meant to change your life, but I find them to be a great in-between sort of go-to when I’m not sure what I’m in the mood for next.
Copy provided by Crooked Lane in exchange for my honest review. ...more
Drama was meant to be a Banned Books Week selection, but the wait list at the library was a little longer than anticipated (and hopefully full of children who were taking a stand against censorship and not just old ladies like me). Why it’s banned or challenged? Homosexuality – in the form of first crushes. In all actuality it's about the cast, but mainly crew, of the school play and all the goings on while they try to make it to opening night while battling first crushes, first heartbreak, mean girls, best friends, and all the other goings on of your typical 8th grader.
Dear Other Humans: It shouldn’t be that hard of a choice to make . . .
ANY book that a person wants to read is a book that should be available for reading.
As for any kiddo who might come across this “review?” Do you, little boo. Be true to yourself –you can play sports or be in the band or be in drama or want to kiss a girl or a boy – just be a good person. And now Imma borrow someone else’s much better words than my own do the talking . . . .
♫♪♫ When the sharpest words wanna cut me down I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out I am brave, I am bruised I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come And I'm marching on to the beat I drum I'm not scared to be seen I make no apologies
THIS IS ME! ♫♪♫
And for my little BoobTube lovin’ buddy – here’s a clip that made me have all the feelings . . .
You All Grow Up And Leave Me popped up on the library’s Recommended To You feature due to me reading I’ll Be Gone In The Dark – a book I didn’t much care for at all, if the truth be told . . . .
Save your breath. I get it. I read it wrong and McNamara was not only a genius, but also this close to DNA swabbing the perp herself and solving the whole shebang. Whatever. I didn’t like it. I still downloaded this book, however, because . . . .
The funny thing is, I disliked I’ll Be Gone In the Dark due to it being so indulgent and lacking in content with regard to the subject matter it claimed to be tackling. This one is nothing but indulgent and no real “crime” actually took place . . . .
I know. Same here. Yeah, the intended victim (and her mother) were able to fight the attacker off and then he killed himself. Sorry, spoiler alert. Point being, if you are looking for a true crime story look elsewhere. If you are a firm believer that . . . .
I didn’t even really “like” this book – and yet a mere two hours after starting it . . . . .
Good Christ am I under the CoHo spell. I’m not going to go into much detail (so this will pretty much be exactly like all of my other reviews, I guess) because this is a story about infertility and I was fortunate enough to never have to experience that. I will say that I did not enjoy being in Quinn’s head even one little bit – and if that makes me a uncompassionate monster, so be it. I also didn’t buy into this huuuuuuuuge monumental love affair like no one has ever seen before. For me, the only thing these two had going for them was a hot and horny sex life because it never even really attempted to dig beyond surface level. But that’s just me and everyone else loved it.
I run about 50/50 when it comes to Hoover and since I fawned all over Without Merit, I assumed there was a good chance this one would not be the story for me. I’m not into tragiporn and I am devoid of emotion so there’s zero chance this was going to make me have any feelings. Obviously that didn’t deter me from reading it – just like I’ll be the first in line for the next thing she releases and probably the one after that and the one after that. If you’re looking for an emotional romance, there’s a good chance All Your Perfects will be right up your alley. Looking for something more on the smutty side? I can give you a couple other CoHo recs ; )...more
Our story here begins like so many others. A simple trip to the store and an encounter with a frazzled mother and her charming youngster . . . .
When our main character Phil fails to give what the kid was just begging for . . . .
He’s left with a simple, yet ominous message by the child’s mother . . .
And so begins life with Adam . . . .
Yeah, I’m just not a fan of short stories. I don’t know what to tell you. I appreciate the mindfuckery contained in this one, but I wanted more. Many people really dig this, though, so if you have Kindle Unlimited it’s worth the zero dollars you will spend to find out what side of the fence you land on. If you’re poor (and iron-stomached) like me, you might want to opt for the full-length novel Kin instead....more
Are you a lover of the neighborhood voyeur type of story who constantly finds themselves being suckered into reading anything about “watching” or “watchers” but generally is left feeling very meh about the whole thing when finished reading – only to immediately repeat the process? If so, look no further . . . .
Because this might be the book you've been waiting for. I’m as surprised as anyone to be giving this (or really ANY) mystery/thriller the full monty of starzzzzzz – especially after recently coming off of my own supermeh Lisa Jewell read (that everyone else loved). But all the Stars it shall receive.
Watching You takes place in a quaint little place known as Melville Heights – and more particularly in a specific neighborhood featuring a row of boldly painted homes. Our story focuses primarily on three households. The Fitzwilliam house features Tom, the headmaster of the local school, his wife Nicola and their son Freddie. Joey and her husband Alfie actually live with her brother Jack and his wife Rebecca. Then there’s Jenna who is the same age as Freddie (but not his classmate, because although she attends Mr. Fitzwilliam’s school, Freddie attends private) who lives with her (literally) paranoid mother. All of these houses have one thing in common . . . .
And that’s all you get.
Dang did I eat this book up! I love a story where you know something superbadawful has happened, but you don’t know exactly what or to whom. I love it even more when I forget all about the “mystery” aspect because I’m so wrapped up in the individual character’s goings on. The closest thing I can think to compare this to is The Casual Vacancy (so if you hated that there’s a chance this one won’t work and you should pick one of Jewell’s eleventy other books to read instead), but the way the mystery becomes ancillary and how each character’s life intertwines with the others and how well developed they are all leaves that as the comparison that I’m going to make. I thought this was brilliant.
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank yoy, NetGalley!...more
This didn’t even make it to my “Currently Reading” list. What an idiot! Anyway, Hush Money was a currently reading . . . or rather listening to . . . selection of mine about a month ago. Full disclosure: I had no clue that these books were actually this . . . .
Full disclosure #2 – I also didn’t really watch Spenser: For Hire. It was more like background filler while I played Barbies and waited with bated breath for my types of shows to come on. You know, real classy stuff like Dallas, Dynasty or my favorite: Knots Landing.
If you’re wondering how I came across this series and decided to start at the ripe ol’ number of 26, there’s a simple answer . . . .
You see, Burt Reynolds died and I was about as bummed as I can get about a stranger’s passing so I went to the library and searched his name. There ended up being a waiting list (natch) for But Enough About Me, however a couple of these Spenser stories popped up as options due to Burt being the narrator. And what a narrator he was! A different (and more importantly) believable voice for each character, his easy charm simply oozed through my speakers and was the perfect fit for both Spenser as well as Hawk.
The story itself wasn’t too shabby either. A dual “whodunit” (both of which happen to be of the pro bono variety) featuring a potential sex scandal ending up with the suicide of a young gay man taken on as a favor to Hawk - along with a stalking case brought by Spenser’s long-time girlfriend Susan. I’m pleased to say this has aged quite well, since it is nearly 20 years old. I’m sad to report it could have been written today as far as case #1 is concerned.
In the strangest variety of coinky-dinks I followed a fellow named Ace Atkins because I am smitten with all things David Joy and ol’ David seems to pal around with Ace a tad. Imagine my surprise when I discovered several months later that it is Atkins himself who picked up Robert B. Parker’s fallen pen after he passed and has continued on with this series. Add on to that an apparent revamp of the program via way of Netflix starring Marky Mark (wearing more than underpants and without his Funky Bunch) is in the works. Talk about timing! I highly doubt that I will go back to the beginning of this series, but I will be listening to at least one more as the library has it and once again it is read by Burt. ...more
What’s going on with me, you ask? Oh, you know, the same old same old . . . .
Fifteen years ago Nora Stuart left Scupper Island behind and pretty much never looked back. Winner of a scholarship fairytales are made of, Nora was able to drop the “Troll” moniker that had followed her through high school, graduate from Tufts Medical School and become a successful gastroenterologist in Boston. All that changed, however, when she had a (literal) run-in with the Beantown Bug Killers. Broken, bruised, and unfortunately waking up to overhear a conversation she should have never had to experience even if she was in perfect health, Nora decides to nurse her wounds back in the place she never thought she’d return to.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, Now That You Mention it is a “maybe you can go home again” type of story. My reading experience was pretty much the equivalent of this . . . .
I realize that this is not what most people would think of as my norm (and yes, Mitchell is giving me the silent treatment), but . . . . .
Don’t like me getting super chicky? The delete button has been conveniently placed right at the top of my profile page for you : )
I just couldn’t help but fall in love with this dang thing. Let’s just start by acknowledging my dream house would be situated on Mackinac Island so I was automatically into this quaint little island town. And it was impossible not to become invested in all of the characters. From Nora herself whose first thoughts while being ran over by a truck were “how will my dog cope with this?” along with the realization she’d never get to meet Daniel Radcliffe via way of stalking the theater backdoor on Broadway, to her (soooooo realistic) teenage niece Poe, to her “supahMainah” of a mother (complete with one word “ayuh” responses to nearly everything), to her former classmate Xiowen (and her filthy mouth), to (of course) the boy next door. This whole book was like channeling my inner What About Bob and taking a vacation from my problems resulting in a Bookstagram pic of a unicorn sitting on a rainbow. I never wanted it to end. Many thanks to Deanna’s Review which is how this ended up at the top of my TBR stack so soon after finishing my first Higgins book (that I read simply because it was controversial like my usual jackass self).
(4.5 Stars rather than the whole monty because I don’t like seeing a dead horse get beaten and am heartless enough that I grew tired of hearing about Nora’s deadbeat daddy as well as hints about her superbadawful that could have been explained earlier on rather than driving me batty hinting about.)...more
You know how you know something isn’t good for you, but you’re still all like . . . .
Yeah. That’s pretty much this book. After all, it is the story of the local cookie shop owner who gets recruited by her brother-in-law (who just so happens to be Barney Fife a policeman) to help solve the first murder Eden Lake has ever had. I mean, I haven’t experienced something this ridiculous since . . . . . well, actually just about a week and a half ago . . . .
Anyway. If you’re willing and able to leave reality 100% at the door, Joanne Fluke might have the series for you. These light and cozies are working out great for my commute so I have a feeling I’ll gobble up whatever else the library has to offer . . . .
Elena moved in to a townhome temporarily while on a bit of a hiatus from her marriage. During this trial separation, she will allow herself no contact with her husband – instead focusing on herself and her career . . . which sadly is kind of non-existent. Living on residuals from her one hit novel, Elena passes the time proofreading other’s writing, having Friday night dinner with her sister and sitting at the kitchen window . . . . .
Until she finally decides to take her publisher’s advice and . . . .
“Dig where you are.”
“It’s like what I write has repercussions in what takes place in the Storm house.”
I snatched this one after seeing my friend Michelle’s review and I’m happy to report I was not disappointed. While not quite as good as The Woman in the Window, this was waaaaaay more of a satisfying domestic thriller to me than The Girl on the Train. I enjoyed the three narratives (Elena, the husband and the new book) and didn’t mind that I kind of new what was going on before the big reveal. 3.5 Stars.
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley! ...more
Before I even begin, let’s address the newest pink elephant in the room . . . .
“In the most explosive and twisted psychological thriller since The Woman in the Window, a beautiful marriage turns beautifully bad.”
Please note this is coming from a person who looooooooooooooooved The Woman in the Window, but FFS this is like comparing apples and orangutans. These two books are NOTHING alike. Has no one learned from the debacle which was “the next Gone Girl”????
But enough about that. Let’s get on with the book. First, allow me to apologize for not only reading but also falling all over a book that doesn’t come out until Spring 2019. Y’all know I’m normally a failure that reads my ARCs months after they’ve been released. I don’t know why this one was calling to me from the TBR stack, but I picked it up and never put it down until I was finished. And now?????
Oh Lort do I want to vomit all the words and tell everyone everything about this. But I shall refrain and only give you these tidbits instead:
1. It takes place in a fictional southern suburb of Kansas City called Meadowlark (which is the Kansas state bird – so clever girl Annie Ward).
2. There are three timelines: The first takes place in the “now” (2010) where police are responding to a 911 screaming hang up call and have found blood all over the inside of a house. The second is around 9/11 where the two meet (he’s a soldier in Macedonia/she’s a journalist in Bulgaria). The third starts several weeks before the 911 call and works its way forward.
3. There are MANY possibilities when it comes to the potential superbadawful. It could be her, it could be him, it could be her friend, it could be his ex, it could even be the neighbor. The best thing of all, though? By the time the narrative had circled back to the present I was so invested in the story of them meeting and the various things that were making me go hmmmmm surrounding their relationship that I had totally forgotten why there was a cop at the door. For real, it was like . . .
That’s probably all I can safely say about the story before getting a cease and desist letter. I will say that this tops the charts for me when it comes to a domestic suspense/thriller so it’s getting every star.
To prove I’m still a nitpicky asshole, here are my minor quibbles:
(1) I’m not super keen on the title because it is so generic and this cover is ugly. It appears there is another cover option so I hope they go with that.
(2) This takes place where I (and apparently the author) live. All of the locations and descriptions (excluding the town itself) are spot on aside from one reference to a horrible incident at a water park which is said to have happened near the airport. Ummmm, the water park and the airport aren’t even in the same state so I’m not quite sure why creative license was chosen regarding that and nothing else.
But for real. Nitpicky, right? This thing was perfect.
ARC received from Park Row in exchange for an honest review. Thank you so much! I would have never even known what I was potentially missing if it weren’t for your offer....more
I have commented numerous times over the years that I have a hard time with the “horror” classification because I don’t find many things horrifying. Books seem to fall into other genres for me - thrillers or mysteries or, in the case of a previous Ania Ahlborn I read, super-barf-baggy-cannibalistic-hillbilly (that should totally be a bookshelf at Barnes & Noble because I have read a bunch of those stories). Even the Master of Horror himself, Uncle Stevie, has only terrified me a handful of times. When I started I Call Upon Thee I feared it would be the same as a story of a creepy old doll left in a cemetery was introduced fairly quickly leaving me looking a little something like . . . .
But then our leading lady Maggie told the story of her twelfth birthday and how she went to the Toys R Us to find something special that would show she was not a baby anymore and decided on . . . .
Making me immediately like . . . .
Seriously. What a pansy! Nothing even happened and I had to put the dang thing down. Boy did I talk a big game of “ooooh it’s gonna be stormy tonight and Imma read the shit out of the scurrrrrry book” only to want to hide under the blankets like a big fat chicken instead. Once I picked it back up what did I find????
“You shouldn’t play in there. Bad things are inside.”
^^^^Yep, that’s me.
I have no idea if anyone else will react the way I did. I will say if you’re a woman (and quite possibly a man) of a certain age and read about the soundtrack in the background during the first Ouija session which included a song by a band called Echo and the Bunnymen, but which was currently offering up a selection featuring a haunting children’s choir “harmonizing something that sounded like the commandments” there’s a good chance you’re gonna be all . . . .
And automatically want to give it all of the stars. Seriously . . . .
Hell, this story might have sucked. It was kind of a hodge-podge of themes with creepy dolls and creepy kids and creepy board games and creepy deaths in the family and creepy creepy creepy. I’m pretty sure I blacked out and spent a couple of hundred pages fantasizing about Kiefer Sutherland, Jason Patrick and Jamie Gertz after that Cry Little Sister reference and that right there is good enough to dole out a 4. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have something important to take care of. Like immediately digging out my copy of . . . . .
I was fully prepared to come to this space and present myself sort of like this . . . . .
Now that I’ve logged on I realize only one of my GR friends has read this selection and she didn’t even rate it because it didn’t work for her either. It was Instagram that was flooded with this one since it was a Book of the Month selection awhile back. What a great feeling to be able to tell myself (at least for a minute) that I read something right ; )
Seriously, though, I’m obviously a lemming and if something shows up on my feed enough (except here, because somehow the GR recs are totally on crack and they need to tighten that game up) I’ll take the bait. I’ve also confessed about eleven trillion times that I either (a) don’t read blurbs at all or (b) only read the first line or two – and duhhhhhhh, I’m a fast reader so it’s not like I really feel like I wasted my life on something even if I don’t fall all over myself about it.
Ghosted is the book that proves I should stop doing everything I mentioned above and completely change the way books get added to my TBR. I immediately dismissed the “when Sarah meets Eddie, they connect instantly and fall in love” because Eddie then went missing and I was super psyched for some . . . .
But that was not meant to be. What I got instead?????
Ugh. This was NOT. FOR. ME. I really want to give it 1 Star because it was truly turrrrrrrrrible and the worst form of tragiporn full of every cliché you could possibly throw in to one book and sooooooooooooooo not a romance I could be a fan of (and trust me, homegirl has been getting down with some romance books lately – and not just the hide-the-salami kind either). I’m going to be generous and give it 2, though, because I should have at least scrolled the first page of reviews and noticed all the 1s and 2s instead of blindly jumping off the cliff....more
Obviously I had to return home on Saturday as well. This time I was sans kids as Dad took round two to the next destination for Sunday so it was up to Stephanie Plum to keep me awake. Luckily this was available for download since I had underestimated the length of these in audio format.
This third trip to the ‘Burg finds Stephanie involved in a missing persons case. Everyone’s favorite business owner, Uncle Moe, has gone FTA and is nowhere to be found. No one is interested in helping Stephanie lock up their favorite candy man. I feel the same about my neighborhood candy salesman . . .
Who doesn’t love puppies and sweets?
Three To Get Deadly also featured a record-high body count, and the return of everyone’s favorite former ho . . . .
At what point do the wheels start falling off this thing? I’m giving this one 4 Stars again and there’s a good chance I’ll be downloading #4 if it’s available before this weekend’s (thankfully shorter) road trip. ...more
Saturday I had to take the oldest boychild on a three-hour trek to play some ball in Middle of Nowhere, America. Guess what else happened to be right around three hours? For anyone out there chomping at the bit to say . . . .
I’m already well aware. This is my second go ‘round with Stephanie Plum, only this time I’m doing it via audio. It is true that Janet E. eventually began to follow a formula for later books in this series, but at #2 she hadn’t jumped the shark just yet. Two for the Dough has Stephanie tackling a case of missing economy caskets for Stiva’s funeral home as well as some “cop killer” bullets. An absentee Lula might lead superfans to scream . . .
But remember, this one is from way back in the day when Evanovich probably thought there would be an eventual end to the series and was trying to write these things in real time so Lula would still be recovering from book #1. Also note if Evanovich hadn’t changed this approach we’d be reading about a 50-year old Stephanie still debating about having a baby with Ranger or Morelli or chatting it up with a decomposed Rex the 30-year old hamster. While this was missing Lula, it had plenty of Grandma Mazur to make up for things . . . .
I’m handing out 4 Stars. Two for the Dough didn’t disappoint the second time, it’s fun to remember when these actually attempted at a plot and Lori Petty’s narration was again perfection. ...more
I thought my schedule only allowed time for one banned/challenged book this week, but I guess I should know by now not to underestimate my reading superpower. Especially when the library had this one available as a little 10-minute audio choice. I opted for that version because me likey the listeny stuff sometimes and . . . .
High five to you, NPH.
Boy this little book has something to offend EVERYONE. The PETA people who think penguins shouldn’t be kept in captivity to begin with, the “only straight married couples should be allowed to adopt,” the homophobes generically. Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell obviously subscribe to the go big or go home approach to writing a sure-to-be challenged book!
Okay, so obviously I’m a big tree hugging lib – at least as far as book reading is concerned. My question is, WTF difference does it make if this book is in a school library? You’re a member of the alt-right movement? YOU be the butthole who is willing to label yourself a butthole and send a note to school that says YOUR kid can’t read this book because you don’t approve of the message. YOU. SOLO. ALONE. Don’t take it off the shelves for everyone else. I mean dang, it’s a book about penguins who adopt a baby that would have never had a chance to survive otherwise (the pro-life people should have been all in favor of this one, FFS). Unless you plan on Little Billy only living on the compound with his sisterwives his entire life this is a pretty benign way of showing how not all families look the same but that it always “takes two to make a Tango” . . . .
And if you think you could win parenthood better than Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka (Spoiler Alert: a GAY couple), I triple-dog dare you to prove it . . . .
“I never look for trouble; things just seem to happen.”
My name is Kelly and I’m addicted to the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries Channel. (Psssssst – this is the part where you all say “Hiiiiiiii Kelllllllllly.”) Seriously, though, it’s 100% true and the Garage Sale Mysteries have quickly become a fave. Imagine my delight when the entire month of August was dedicated to my latest obsession. Sadly August came to an end – but then I remembered these made-for-TV movies were based on books and of course my homies at the library weren’t about to let me down . . . I just had to wait for my turn to come up. It just so happened that my time came on the PERFECT day! The temps dropped so low I got to break out my sexiest loungewear . . . .
(Trust me, I could barely keep my husband off of me once I put these on.)
And I snuggled in with only the most necessary provisions . . . .
Like many book-to-film conversions, there was some artistic license taken in transitioning this series to the screen (since there are only three books but umpteen movies, I figured as much before diving in). The main difference is with the leading lady herself. Book version Jennifer Shannon is a 60-something, stay-at-home, mother of five grown children and a bevy of grandkids. Movie version is younger, mother of only two (one still a high schooler/one in college) and owner of “Rags to Riches” – a quaint little antique store. The thing the two have in common is that Jennifer somehow finds herself involved in a mystery – or in this case a couple – a possible hidden treasure along with a potentially dangerous duo of grifters who have set their sights on Jennifer’s mother as their target. Like the quote above indicates, both print and film leads Jennifer to things like . . .
I called this my first foray into “cozy mysteries” over on the Instagram. That’s probably not accurate because I’m fairly certain the Aurora Teagarden books (and another Hallmark Mystery fave) fall into that category as well. (I guess Roe got a pass since she was written by a lady who I originally discovered when I was addicted to vampire and werewolf sex books.) The one thing that stood out for me here was the amount of detail provided as well as the way the dialogue was written. I have no idea if this is the case or not, but it just seemed to shout “this is the way these types of books are supposed to be” to me. I also discovered that this author got her first book published at the ripe young age of 76 to which I say . . .
I love that. NEVER give up on your dreams : ) ...more
Okay, this one DID. NOT. stand the test of time. Released in 1975, Forever … topped the Banned Books charts due to its direct approach to teenagers having sexual relationships. Sadly it did not weather well. From the abuse of ellipses (and coming from me you KNOW there were a lot, because I myself am a fan), to the terrible writing, to the leading male that would have modern-day girls declaring #metoo, to the girl who wanted “forever” – only to want to mack on the next available dude the moment her true love was not close by, to the bizarro addition of a suicidal friend storyline – all being presented by characters with absolutely ZERO dimension.
Once upon a time this was a coveted little book that many of us weren’t allowed to read – much like Flowers in the Attic. Shelby and I cracked ourselves up last night talking about how these were verboten . . . and yet we were totally stealing the ongoing saga of Lucky Santangelo off our momma’s nightstands like sneaky bastards every chance we got. Back in the day Young Kelly might have found this super smexy. Old Kelly did not and will just go back to what she’s good at . . . .
Even though I failed at Forever …, this remains my favorite reading week of the entire year . . .
“You’d be amazed by what people will do. Things they’d never admit to anyone—not even to themselves.”
Okay, no one is amaaaaaazed by what people will do anymore. Especially in a myster/thriller. Double especially when that mystery/thriller is actually “the next Gone Girl” and when it was released Gillian Flynn was probably all like . . . .
But I’m getting ahead of myself. The premise here is a friend asks a friend for a simple favor (fitting title is at least fitting) of watching her son (who is also friend’s son’s buddy) until she returns from some meetings around 9:00 p.m. And then she never comes to pick him up because she is Gone. Girl. The why behind the woman’s vanishing is not too terribly hard to predict if you’re a frequent reader of books like this, but everything aside from the kitchen sink is thrown in getting there. Don’t believe me? (This is when it gets spoiley so step away from the monitor/put yo phone down NOW.) By the 35% mark the “friend” is not only banging her bestie’s hubs but has pretty much moved in with him as well. And then!!!! THENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN we find out she also used to make a habit of fucking her half brother . . . .
Not to mention the missing chick has some sibling issues as well that conveniently result in matching DNA!
Someone please tell me the movie was better than this.
Y’all got your banned book ready? No time like the present. I have been reading at least one banned or challenged book during Banned Books Week for years now. Mainly to make sure my children always know that no one’s voice should ever be silenced. This year I chose George - because it made this list . . . .
The premise behind George is pretty simple . . .
It was such a short, little question, but she couldn’t make her mouth form the sounds. Mom, what if I’m a girl?
George is advertised as a middle-grade book, but really unless you’re one of the buttholes who doesn’t want the thing in schools at all, it would be perfect for older elementary students. It’s not a story that gets preachy with a message, the characters are too young to be interested in boyfriend/girlfriend relationships so there’s no kissing or sex, it doesn’t insist on understanding all of the ABCs regarding gender identity – it simply asks for acknowledgment. I thought it was wonderful and once you got to know George, it was hard not to support her. If everyone took a second to think of the human behind the issue rather than their black and white view of the issue itself, maybe the world wouldn’t be such a crummy place....more
I’m not even gonna lie and try to say when I first heard of this title, my mind didn’t immediately go . . . .
The book wasn’t afraid to go there as well . . . .
“Worstley is eighteen, white as milk, and tall and strong with wavy blond hair and earnest blue eyes that sparkle with a call to greatness.”
It wasn’t afraid to “kill” him for most of the story either. Which left the remaining ensemble cast to . . . .
And me with a reaction that was more like . . . .
I have to confess that I had to look up Kevin Hearne due to my unfamiliarity with his stuff. I still have no clue who Delilah S. Dawson is. What I do know is this book had some pretty killer swag that I wish I would have been a part of even if the book didn’t end up being a winner for me . . . .
That’s how you do a marketing campaign, kids.
Sadly, though, Kill the Farm Boy ended up being a fail. Not only did it seem to drag on and on without a lot of content to propel it, but apparently I’ve grown too old to endure endless fart and boner jokes. Well, maybe some fart stuff will always be funny . . . .
I wanted Monty Python - I ended up with Van Wilder. And it’s #1 in a series????
I’m not even going to bother with a review. I am going to say the blurb is about a million and a half paragraphs too long. Do yourself a favor and only read the first one and skip all the oversharing that could potentially ruin the entire reading experience. It tells you everything you need to know before deciding whether or not you want to give this book a chance. Per that first paragraph, I can confirm Putney truly is explosive and thought provoking and it certainly is about an illicit relationship between a grown man and a young girl. My only comment regarding the comparisons to Notes on a Scandal or Mrs. Fletcher are that Lolita was probably too obvious so the “blurbists” chose to mix things up a bit. Honestly, though, Lolita is what can’t help but come to mind – only this version follows everyone for the next 40 years.
That’s all you get. This is a love it or hate it novel and, sadly, one that people will choose to judge without even reading a page due to the pearl-clutching type of storyline. There’s no point in wasting my breath . . . or manicure, I guess would be the case here. I have a feeling most discussions with the anti-Putney sect would only result in me looking something like this . . . .
WARNING: THIS IS 127% GIFS. IF YOU DON’T HAVE UNLIMITED DATA, STAY FAR FARRRRRRRR AWAY. (SORRY, CRICKET WIRELESS USERS LOL.)
Burt Reynolds had been appearing in movies/television shows for 20 years before I was even born. Due to my age, along with a pretty severe allergic reaction to most Western movies, his arrival in my life was marked by a film that would remain one of my favorites forever . . . .
When I got older I got a chance to experience his role in one of the most iconic films ever made . . . .
(And when I got reeeeeaaaaaallllllly old I even read the book.)
But Enough About Me covers nearly all the highs (and lows) of Burt Reynolds’ career. From good decisions such as appearing in the two aforementioned films - to things he would later determine were bad decisions such as . . . .
From great friends, both male . . . .
And female . . . .
To the one who got away . . . .
And the role that revamped a career (along with the line he didn’t want to say) . . . .
What’s different from other memoirs is that Burt tells these stories with himself playing second fiddle. He focuses on the person he is speaking about at the time and their impact on his life rather than the other way around. He’s not afraid to tell it like it is – especially when it comes to his opinion of Marlon Brando and a handful of others - but does his best to gloss over his failed marriage with Loni Anderson rather than dragging her through the mire. At times his ego shows through and I definitely have a hard time believing he was quite the choir boy he attempts to make himself out to be when it comes to the fairer sex. But he’s Burt so somehow it all works.
I put myself on the wait list for this after hearing of Burt Reynolds’ passing. I wanted to hear him talk to me a little more, I guess, and tell me about his life on my way to and from work. It was like having coffee with an old friend. If you’re a fan, I highly recommend....more
For Lonnie, Mike and Pork Chop this road trip was simply supposed to be a little boys’ getaway and a chance to experience some firsthand . . . .
The beer was flowing, the tunes were playing, the counterfeit easy-shred Hulkamania T’s were ready for selling, there was a tag-a-long hot piece of ass in the form of the local bar fly. They were even riding in style in a Gen.U.Ine. R.V. . . . .
It was great . . . until they ran over a nekkid chick while attempting to short-cut it through the backroads followed by a crossbow bolt through one of their tires. You know what that means, right????
Nope. Something even more terrifying . . . .
Now the boys (and girls) need to channel their inner CCR ‘cause these suckas are gonna have to “run through the jungle.”
You can take this “review” with a grain (or mountain) of salt if you like. At this point it's obvious I’m an Adam Howe fangirl. I won’t even get into Mitchell’s relationship with him because I’m fairly certain it’s illegal in at least 47 states. All I’m going to say is if you are looking for some gory good times this October jam-packed with action, humor and some twists and turns that make this not-your-average “lost in the woods” slasher story, Scapegoat is getting released right on time.
ARC provided by Honey Badger Press in exchange for an honest review....more