Kristina’s review of The Book of Life (All Souls Trilogy, #3) > Likes and Comments
352 likes · Like
Well, I don't really want to read this. I just feel compelled to. I need to finish my trilogy of mean reviews. I won't buy it though.
So much win in this review especially about M/D's domestic bliss and Diane being a good little wifey. Ugh.
Also LOL at It’s as if Harkness is starting a new genre: The “Cozy” Vampire: He Just Wants To Be Loved. I think most YA vampires are written like that too, it's such pathetic writing and storytelling.
Loved the review btw :)
Ferdy wrote: "So much win in this review especially about M/D's domestic bliss and Diane being a good little wifey. Ugh.
Also LOL at It’s as if Harkness is starting a new genre: The “Cozy” Vampire: He Just Want..."
Thank you. It took me forever to write this review because EVERYTHING about the book is wrong. EVERYTHING. I rewrote it 3 times just to make it coherent (the first attempt was basically: "What the fuck! This book is fucking stupid! Ah, fuck!") and not too long. I probably put more effort into the review than Harkness did writing the damn book. Or, at the very least, I was more concerned about my review making sense...because this book is complete nonsense.
I could write a paper on the underlying themes of this book. Strip away all the vamp and witch BS, and it's a very conservative book about how women should behave. Particularly married women. There are a few chapters about how Diana, now that she's a de Clermont and married to a vamp, must behave in a certain way to uphold the "dignity" of her position. That is--behave like a second class citizen, obey her husband at all time, tell no one family business, do only what her husband allows her to do, etc. It was ridiculous. It was almost like she joined a fundamentalist religion/cult. And Matthew is a possessive psycho who follows her around all the time and has temper tantrums when he can't be with her. It's like...wtf! But Diana is like, oh, but he wuvs me so much and I wuv him so I'll be a good little wifey. And give birth as many times as he wants. But she's still "independent" because she kept her maiden name and will keep her career as a college professor...because he lets her. Wtf. So much wrong with this book....so much.
Awesome review. No doubt a better read than the book itself. You had me at "fumbled a bag of apples grown at a nearby farm."
I think you pegged it with your Mary Sue/Marty Stu comments. When main characters are this perfect they become perfectly dull. Add a ridiculous plot and a lack of good editors brave enough to say enough already and you end up with....a pretty cover.
Elvan wrote: "Awesome review. No doubt a better read than the book itself. You had me at "fumbled a bag of apples grown at a nearby farm."
I think you pegged it with your Mary Sue/Marty Stu comments. When main..."
Thank you. Yes. The "fumbled a bag of apples" sentence pretty much sums up the whole idiotic book AND highlights the absolute lack of editing. I read a lot of author interviews and the "art of writing" type of stuff and the writers always talk about how much editing they do--how they have to strip down their books to get rid of unnecessary verbiage. And if you read any books about writing, you'll get that message too. Then big publishers--with the money to pay for good editors--publish crap ass novels like this and they are best-sellers!!!! Ugh. It's just so ridiculous how low the publishing standards are anymore. I'm toying with idea of writing a letter to Viking to ask if anyone edited this novel it all. It's such a freaking mess. Really, the pretty book cover is the best part.
It's a trilogy about fang-less non-threatening vampires? I am going to stay far, far away!
Great review Kristina, very thorough. :) I'm so glad I didn't carry on after the first book now!! I always wondered whether I should have, but it doesn't sound like any of the issues from that first one were addressed in the later instalments.
Mizuki wrote: "It's a trilogy about fang-less non-threatening vampires? I am going to stay far, far away!"
Oh yeah. The author completely stripped the vamps of their sense of danger and literally, they have no fangs. Apparently Matthew (the super awesome hero vamp) is only allowed to kill to get rid of "bad" vamps...and even the bad vamps (in this book it's Benji, Matthew's son) are not all that shocking. Matthew slurps wine, enjoys a good yoga pose, and carries a diaper bag. Stay far away from this book!
Borderstar wrote: "Great review Kristina, very thorough. :) I'm so glad I didn't carry on after the first book now!! I always wondered whether I should have, but it doesn't sound like any of the issues from that fi..."
Thank you. Were the issues addressed? Depends on what issues you mean...there are so many! But no matter because the issues were solved so...unsatisfactorily. It's like...I read 561 pages for this?!
Kristina wrote: "The author completely stripped the vamps of their sense of danger and literally, they have no fangs. Apparently Matthew (the super awesome hero vamp) is only allowed to kill to get rid of "bad" vamps...
HELL. TO. THE. NO. then! I'm so sick of this "good vampires vs bad vampires" and "good vampires have feeling too..." BS!
And it's not even a YA, it's a book for adults...right?
and even the bad vamps (in this book it's Benji, Matthew's son) are not all that shocking."
ARGHHH!!! If they aren't evil then what's the point of making them vampires at the first place!?
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "The author completely stripped the vamps of their sense of danger and literally, they have no fangs. Apparently Matthew (the super awesome hero vamp) is only allowed to kill to get..."
Ha ha ha ha ha...yeah, that's my reaction too. I get the sense that the author wanted to write a basic happy romance but made the characters vamps and witches so it would fit in with the (still hot) vamp trend. Matthew (the main character) is so lovey dovey for his woman. And he's a pious Catholic. Plus he's the head of an organization called the Lazarus Order (I think that's what it's called but I could be wrong) which is "good" vamps doing all sorts of "good" works. It's like...really? It's all rather lame.
Yes, this is a book for adults. I say it's a book only for people with bad taste.
Edit: It's the Knights of Lazarus. They are a bunch of helpful, kind vamps who have helped people (assuming this is supernatural people) over the centuries. Ummmm....yeah. Vamps as do-gooders? No. I don't buy it.
Kristina wrote: "Matthew (the main character) is so lovey dovey for his woman. And he's a pious Catholic. Plus he's the head of an organization called the Lazarus Order (I think that's what it's called but I could be wrong) which is "good" vamps doing all sorts of "good" works. It's like...really? It's all rather lame."
Fuck. This. Shit! I'd rather go back to read those Victorian vampire novellas....in which vampires are monsters!
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "Matthew (the main character) is so lovey dovey for his woman. And he's a pious Catholic. Plus he's the head of an organization called the Lazarus Order (I think that's what it's ca..."
Yeah, me too. I got so disgusted with this one that I stopped in the middle of it to read the first book of the Sookie Stackhouse series again. Those books are a bit dopey too, but at least the vampires are sexy, dangerous and like to suck blood. It was a refreshing change from the useless vamps in this novel.
Kristina wrote: " Those books are a bit dopey too, but at least the vampires are sexy, dangerous and like to suck blood. It was a refreshing change from the useless vamps in this novel. "
I know right? The first handful books of the Sookie Stackhouse series are good, but the rest....I just gave up.
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: " Those books are a bit dopey too, but at least the vampires are sexy, dangerous and like to suck blood. It was a refreshing change from the useless vamps in this novel. "
I know r..."
Agreed. Somewhere around Dead in the Family I lost interest. I read the last one just to see how the series would end (dumb, as I expected).
Kristina wrote: "Agreed. Somewhere around Dead in the Family I lost interest. I read the last one just to see how the series would end (dumb, as I expected). "
I don't even make it to Dead in the Family, the downfall of the Sookie Stackhouse series lays in the murder mysteries taking the backseat, whilst the series becomes burdened by Sookie screwing this or that supernatural guy. =__=
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "Agreed. Somewhere around Dead in the Family I lost interest. I read the last one just to see how the series would end (dumb, as I expected). "
I don't even make it to Dead in the ..."
All the fairy stuff did me in. And yes, Sookie's romances got tedious. I think the author just got really tired of writing the series. I read her Goodreads interview and she says that she was glad the contract ended when it did because she was running out of ideas...but what she didn't say was she ran out of ideas (and interest in the characters) 5 books ago. You can almost pinpoint in what book that happens (the one before Dead in the Family).
Kristina wrote: "I read her Goodreads interview and she says that she was glad the contract ended when it did because she was running out of ideas...but what she didn't say was she ran out of ideas (and interest in the characters) 5 books ago. "
Oh yes this fey business is just damn icky! It makes Sookie looks like a Mary Sue.
Now it all makes sense! I should feel happy for her to escape from the contract hell...
I like her other series, which is stated by Grave Sight...can't recall the title of this series but I like almost each book, it's good that it ends with four or five books only. ^_^
Thank you SO. MUCH. for this review, I just finished the first book and was also thinking along the lines of, "what the fuck did I just read?" I hate stopping in the middle of books and even in the middle of series, but it was just so goddamn awful I really thought I might. But now I know how it turns out (and that it's exactly how I figured it would be) with a free conscious, I can firmly decide to forget that this series even exists. Cheers.
Ps. Everything you said, but also what the fuck is up with Tweedledums relationship with her aunts? They've known her her whole life but suddenly Tweedledee comes along and back up bitches, she's reverting to full on teen angst mode and he's the expert on that hot piece of scarecrow. Also: The contrived representation. Gotta make sure everyone knows how gay that daemon is so I can target that crowd...gotta spend 3 pages describing this black person w/o actually saying it to bump up my street cred as an "inclusive author" Jesus Christ on a cracker... who is this woman's editor?!??!
Okay. Use of the word "mate". I'm throwing up.
I feel like "WHAT THE FUCK, EDITORS" should be a tag. I might borrow it.
And now I bet what you want that there will be a 4, or a 2.5 book, with Matthew's POV, or whatvs. I feel it coming.
Again, thank you for your suffering and review. Didn't read the book obviously but felt like it nailed it.
Hiroto wrote: "Okay. Use of the word "mate". I'm throwing up.
I feel like "WHAT THE FUCK, EDITORS" should be a tag. I might borrow it.
And now I bet what you want that there will be a 4, or a 2.5 book, with Matt..."
Don't throw up on your computer. What a mess.
Go ahead and borrow WHAT THE FUCK, EDITORS. It should be used for a lot of books that are poorly edited.
My response to any other books featuring these idiots: HELL NO. I will not read them. I've suffered enough!
You're welcome. Writing reviews is fun and I always appreciate comments, even people who disagree with me (what a crazy idea!).
Regan wrote: "Thank you SO. MUCH. for this review, I just finished the first book and was also thinking along the lines of, "what the fuck did I just read?" I hate stopping in the middle of books and even in the..."
I'm glad my review eased your conscious. I hate to end books midway too, but sometimes you just have to do it because they suck so much.
I've read your second paragraph a few times and I'm apparently dense because I don't understand the Tweedledum/Tweedledee and the "hot piece of scarecrow" comments. I probably agree with you, but if you explain it for me, I'll comment more.
As for her trying to be an "inclusive author" yeah, that was annoying. It's like she checked off a list: gay character--check. Black man--check. Lesbians--check. Harkness is not a talented writer and her attempt at inclusion seemed forced. Personally, I don't think the woman had an editor. That's always been my problem with these books--the incredibly bad editing. I kept screaming at this book: What the fuck, editor! What the fuck! So yeah...I'm a bit nuts.
Kristina:
I'm reading A Discovery of Witches, and I'm sure I'll DNF soon...
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina:
I'm reading A Discovery of Witches, and I'm sure I'll DNF soon..."
:) Stop before you damage the book (or your electronic device if it's an e-book). It starts out with an intriguing premise, but soon descends into chaos and the reader muttering "wtf?!" under her breath.
Kristina wrote: "Mizuki wrote: "Kristina:
I'm reading A Discovery of Witches, and I'm sure I'll DNF soon..."
:) Stop before you damage the book (or your electronic device if it's an e-book). It starts out with an..."
Well...if the author talks once more about what the MC has for dinner and if she wrote one more of the MC's trip to the fucking library (and I swear I love libraries), I will throw the book away!
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "Mizuki wrote: "Kristina:
I'm reading A Discovery of Witches, and I'm sure I'll DNF soon..."
:) Stop before you damage the book (or your electronic device if it's an e-book). It s..."
She talks a lot about how much tea she drinks. And her stretchy black pants. Did you get to the vampires doing yoga yet?
Kristina wrote: " Did you get to the vampires doing yoga yet? "
Yes she did! I can never believe vampires can become so silly! It's even worse than the vampire-baseball in Twilight~
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: " Did you get to the vampires doing yoga yet? "
Yes she did! I can never believe vampires can become so silly! It's even worse than the vampire-baseball in Twilight~"
The author completely de-fangs vampires for her books. They are complete losers who eat food, drink wine, go outside, and are Christians. The Twilight vampires are even more interesting than these yoga scientist vamps. Blech.
Kristina wrote: "The author completely de-fangs vampires for her books. They are complete losers who eat food, drink wine, go outside, and are Christians. The Twilight vampires are even more interesting than these yoga scientist vamps. Blech. "
IKR? but at least Matthew's mother is hunting and drinking (animal) blood and killing the bad guys who killed her husband.
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "The author completely de-fangs vampires for her books. They are complete losers who eat food, drink wine, go outside, and are Christians. The Twilight vampires are even more intere..."
Matthew's mother is probably the most normal vamp in the books.
Kristina wrote: "Matthew's mother is probably the most normal vamp in the books. "
Totally agree!
And Kristina, I found it's so stupid for Diana's parents to bind her magic to the guy she loves (Matthew)! What? So she shouldn't be using her magic for herself!? WTF?
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "Matthew's mother is probably the most normal vamp in the books. "
Totally agree!
And Kristina, I found it's so stupid for Diana's parents to bind her magic to the guy she loves (..."
Yeah...this isn't exactly a pro-woman novel. Diana is a good little girl and when she marries Matthew, she has to adhere to the tradition of being a vampire wife, which means she has to obey him at all times, do nothing to bring shame upon the vampire family name, etc. It's very disturbing. Diana is so dumb that she says, okay. And Matthew is a very controlling husband. Diana, who supposedly has the best witch powers ever, rarely uses them. It's very odd--a powerful witch not allowed or willing to use her own powers. Really, someone could write a paper on these 3 books.
Kristina wrote: "Diana is so dumb that she says, okay. And Matthew is a very controlling husband. Diana, who supposedly has the best witch powers ever, rarely uses them. It's very odd--a powerful witch not allowed or willing to use her own powers."
This part is so messed up, at the beginning we are led to believe Diana doesn't want to use her power, then in the middle of ADOW, we are told her mother blocked her power for some silly reason! That's awful!
Yes, it's sickening to see a woman writing all this crap and not once did Diana call Matthew to back off...or she makes herself sound like she's not okay with Matthew's attitude but in the end she always gives in!>___<
Best review ever! I'm half way through this tedious book, but keep getting distracted by well written novels.
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "Diana is so dumb that she says, okay. And Matthew is a very controlling husband. Diana, who supposedly has the best witch powers ever, rarely uses them. It's very odd--a powerful w..."
One of the messages I took from this trilogy is that women should do what they're told...by men. They should always subdue their powers, authority, and independence and let the man lead. If you really want to read into it, it's rather old-fashioned and anti-feminist. It's also utter crap, story-wise.
Deborah wrote: "Best review ever! I'm half way through this tedious book, but keep getting distracted by well written novels."
Thank you. I'm glad you're taking a break from this awful book by reading good ones. I'm the opposite--once I start a crap book that I intend to finish, I spend more time reading it--just to finish it. It's like eating your artichokes so you can enjoy the ice cream dessert.
Kristina wrote: "One of the messages I took from this trilogy is that women should do what they're told...by men. They should always subdue their powers, authority, and independence and let the man lead."
Not to mention Diana is supposed to be a powerful witch, and she can't do better than letting a man boss her around.
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "One of the messages I took from this trilogy is that women should do what they're told...by men. They should always subdue their powers, authority, and independence and let the man..."
Okay, so I have a theory about this and similar books, notably Twilight and 50 Shades.
The fantastical and the magical are incredible aphrodisiacs for a lot of women. Same with power. While 50 Shades doesn't have magic or vampires, it does have power and obscene wealth. There's a huge appeal there for a lot of women, but there's also a great appeal in the conservative heteronormative ideal of romance - man meets woman, marries and has kids. These books all end like that. It's not enough for the woman to possess her own power for many - they want to be able to relinquish that power in favour of something simpler. It's that mix of the magic and the mundane that's like catnip to a huge demographic.
I may be talking bollocks, of course.
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "One of the messages I took from this trilogy is that women should do what they're told...by men. They should always subdue their powers, authority, and independence and let the man..."
Yes, but she's in LUUUUUVVVVV and supposedly that makes it okay.
Ceilidh wrote: "Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "One of the messages I took from this trilogy is that women should do what they're told...by men. They should always subdue their powers, authority, and independence ..."
No, I think you're brilliant. You're exactly right--power, whether in the form of magic or money, is an aphrodisiac for women (for some men too I think but that's a different discussion). Look at a look of books in which the women have power or special abilities of some kind. That's all well and good, but what always ends up being at least as equally (if not more) important? The love angle. The woman has to have a love partner, and often (at least in popular books) the love partner is a man.
Mr. Grey has a lot of money and power and what's her name is very drawn to that. However, she can't just enjoy the ride (ha), she has to tame him.
Thank you for bringing this up--it's such an excellent perspective. Of course, even as I accept your hypothesis, it doesn't make me like the book any more. For me, it's a lesson how NOT to write.
Ceilidh wrote: "Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "One of the messages I took from this trilogy is that women should do what they're told...by men. They should always subdue their powers, authority, and independence ..."
Having power is somewhat ego-stroking, for both men and women; and adding an love interest tagging along? It's even better. but we know reality doesn't work like this for most people.
This is the best, on-point review of this book and the series in general. I just finished the series tonight and now I wish I had never read them. I do have to say, though, that the secondary characters are MUCH more interesting than the two main ones.
This is the best, on-point review of this book and the series in general. I just finished the series tonight and now I wish I had never read them. I do have to say, though, that the secondary characters are MUCH more interesting than the two main ones.
Megan wrote: "This is the best, on-point review of this book and the series in general. I just finished the series tonight and now I wish I had never read them. I do have to say, though, that the secondary chara..."
Thank you. I think my IQ dropped a few points because I read all three. The secondary characters are more interesting than Matthew and Diana, but really, those two idiots set the bar pretty low.
Hilarious and 100% on point. "You two are the Brangelina of this idiot trilogy" made me LOL.
Shelley wrote: "Hilarious and 100% on point. "You two are the Brangelina of this idiot trilogy" made me LOL."
Thank you. I had fun writing this review. When a book is this bad, it's almost too easy.
What?? No stretchy black yoga pants? How can that be?
Thanks for a wonderful review, as usual: ...what the fuck. How can something this awful be a bestseller? My thoughts about the first book. Could not muster up the energy to read the second and definitely won't read the last.
On principle, I think I should boycott the BBC adaption, but I look forward to reading about it.
HєllyBєlly wrote: "What?? No stretchy black yoga pants? How can that be?
Thanks for a wonderful review, as usual: ...what the fuck. How can something this awful be a bestseller? My thoughts about the first book. Cou..."
I was surprised that Diana did not wear stretchy black pants in this book as it would have appropriate (her pregnant with twins).
I cannot come up with any reason for this book being a best-seller other than:
1. It plays into the current (current for about 10 years) vampires are sexy fad.
2. It's a romance.
3. The majority of the reading public has absolutely no idea of what a good book should look like anymore. I don't necessarily blame the reading public for this. I blame publishers who don't give two shits about quality books anymore. It's all money, money, money.
Oh, I have great faith that the BBC will pull a decent series from these shitty books. There is a good book in there; it's just Viking's editors didn't give those previously mentioned two shits about finding it. I wish I knew someone in the BBC to ask them about the process--I'm guessing the show will look only a bit like the book. Sort of like the movie for that piece of shit book Paper Towns by John "I write novels that pander to the YA crowd" Green. The novel is sexist, pretentious, boring and stupid. The movie trailers I've seen on tv look NOTHING like the book. So a series of screen writers pulled a few kernals of goodness from what is a craptastic novel and the movie may actually be halfway decent. But I won't go see it. I refuse to give him money. I already pay for BBC (America) so I can watch the Harkness trilogy without adding to her bank account.
Kristina wrote: "HєllyBєlly wrote: "What?? No stretchy black yoga pants? How can that be?
Thanks for a wonderful review, as usual: ...what the fuck. How can something this awful be a bestseller? My thoughts about ..."
I have not read anything by John Green, and by the sounds of it, I have not missed much. It is all about money, isn't it. Look at how much that Grey-business is making.
I hope that the BBC can find the good book inside all the unnecessary and boring details of Harkness' writing and make something worth watching. I hope you'll let us know!
I have not read anything by John Green, and by the sounds of it, I have not missed much. It is all about money, isn't it. Look at how much that Grey-business is making.
I'm always reluctant to tell someone NOT to read something because not everyone has the same book tastes. But JG is horrible. I read him because a GR friend had written a bad review so I was curious (could this book be this bad?) and read it...yeah, it's that bad. Unless you enjoy pretentious teenagers speaking absolute nonsense and paper-thin characters, avoid JG.
Ah, the 50 Shades of Grey nonsense. That is truly commercialism at work. It's a terrible book. An editor (good editor with an endless supply of red ink) would have helped it, but in it's published form--so bad. Yet has made lots of money. The idea that so many people read ALL the books and thought they were good just makes me sad.
I hope that the BBC can find the good book inside all the unnecessary and boring details of Harkness' writing and make something worth watching. I hope you'll let us know!
Curiosity will force me to watch the Harkness tv adaption, at least the first few episodes. It's just in development now so I don't expect it to show up until maybe next year sometime. But I'll post an update letting everyone know!
back to top
message 1:
by
Kristina
(new)
Jun 02, 2014 05:34AM
Well, I don't really want to read this. I just feel compelled to. I need to finish my trilogy of mean reviews. I won't buy it though.
reply
|
flag
*
So much win in this review especially about M/D's domestic bliss and Diane being a good little wifey. Ugh.Also LOL at It’s as if Harkness is starting a new genre: The “Cozy” Vampire: He Just Wants To Be Loved. I think most YA vampires are written like that too, it's such pathetic writing and storytelling.
Loved the review btw :)
Ferdy wrote: "So much win in this review especially about M/D's domestic bliss and Diane being a good little wifey. Ugh.Also LOL at It’s as if Harkness is starting a new genre: The “Cozy” Vampire: He Just Want..."
Thank you. It took me forever to write this review because EVERYTHING about the book is wrong. EVERYTHING. I rewrote it 3 times just to make it coherent (the first attempt was basically: "What the fuck! This book is fucking stupid! Ah, fuck!") and not too long. I probably put more effort into the review than Harkness did writing the damn book. Or, at the very least, I was more concerned about my review making sense...because this book is complete nonsense.
I could write a paper on the underlying themes of this book. Strip away all the vamp and witch BS, and it's a very conservative book about how women should behave. Particularly married women. There are a few chapters about how Diana, now that she's a de Clermont and married to a vamp, must behave in a certain way to uphold the "dignity" of her position. That is--behave like a second class citizen, obey her husband at all time, tell no one family business, do only what her husband allows her to do, etc. It was ridiculous. It was almost like she joined a fundamentalist religion/cult. And Matthew is a possessive psycho who follows her around all the time and has temper tantrums when he can't be with her. It's like...wtf! But Diana is like, oh, but he wuvs me so much and I wuv him so I'll be a good little wifey. And give birth as many times as he wants. But she's still "independent" because she kept her maiden name and will keep her career as a college professor...because he lets her. Wtf. So much wrong with this book....so much.
Awesome review. No doubt a better read than the book itself. You had me at "fumbled a bag of apples grown at a nearby farm." I think you pegged it with your Mary Sue/Marty Stu comments. When main characters are this perfect they become perfectly dull. Add a ridiculous plot and a lack of good editors brave enough to say enough already and you end up with....a pretty cover.
Elvan wrote: "Awesome review. No doubt a better read than the book itself. You had me at "fumbled a bag of apples grown at a nearby farm." I think you pegged it with your Mary Sue/Marty Stu comments. When main..."
Thank you. Yes. The "fumbled a bag of apples" sentence pretty much sums up the whole idiotic book AND highlights the absolute lack of editing. I read a lot of author interviews and the "art of writing" type of stuff and the writers always talk about how much editing they do--how they have to strip down their books to get rid of unnecessary verbiage. And if you read any books about writing, you'll get that message too. Then big publishers--with the money to pay for good editors--publish crap ass novels like this and they are best-sellers!!!! Ugh. It's just so ridiculous how low the publishing standards are anymore. I'm toying with idea of writing a letter to Viking to ask if anyone edited this novel it all. It's such a freaking mess. Really, the pretty book cover is the best part.
It's a trilogy about fang-less non-threatening vampires? I am going to stay far, far away!
Great review Kristina, very thorough. :) I'm so glad I didn't carry on after the first book now!! I always wondered whether I should have, but it doesn't sound like any of the issues from that first one were addressed in the later instalments.
Mizuki wrote: "It's a trilogy about fang-less non-threatening vampires? I am going to stay far, far away!"Oh yeah. The author completely stripped the vamps of their sense of danger and literally, they have no fangs. Apparently Matthew (the super awesome hero vamp) is only allowed to kill to get rid of "bad" vamps...and even the bad vamps (in this book it's Benji, Matthew's son) are not all that shocking. Matthew slurps wine, enjoys a good yoga pose, and carries a diaper bag. Stay far away from this book!
Borderstar wrote: "Great review Kristina, very thorough. :) I'm so glad I didn't carry on after the first book now!! I always wondered whether I should have, but it doesn't sound like any of the issues from that fi..."Thank you. Were the issues addressed? Depends on what issues you mean...there are so many! But no matter because the issues were solved so...unsatisfactorily. It's like...I read 561 pages for this?!
Kristina wrote: "The author completely stripped the vamps of their sense of danger and literally, they have no fangs. Apparently Matthew (the super awesome hero vamp) is only allowed to kill to get rid of "bad" vamps...HELL. TO. THE. NO. then! I'm so sick of this "good vampires vs bad vampires" and "good vampires have feeling too..." BS!
And it's not even a YA, it's a book for adults...right?
and even the bad vamps (in this book it's Benji, Matthew's son) are not all that shocking."
ARGHHH!!! If they aren't evil then what's the point of making them vampires at the first place!?
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "The author completely stripped the vamps of their sense of danger and literally, they have no fangs. Apparently Matthew (the super awesome hero vamp) is only allowed to kill to get..."Ha ha ha ha ha...yeah, that's my reaction too. I get the sense that the author wanted to write a basic happy romance but made the characters vamps and witches so it would fit in with the (still hot) vamp trend. Matthew (the main character) is so lovey dovey for his woman. And he's a pious Catholic. Plus he's the head of an organization called the Lazarus Order (I think that's what it's called but I could be wrong) which is "good" vamps doing all sorts of "good" works. It's like...really? It's all rather lame.
Yes, this is a book for adults. I say it's a book only for people with bad taste.
Edit: It's the Knights of Lazarus. They are a bunch of helpful, kind vamps who have helped people (assuming this is supernatural people) over the centuries. Ummmm....yeah. Vamps as do-gooders? No. I don't buy it.
Kristina wrote: "Matthew (the main character) is so lovey dovey for his woman. And he's a pious Catholic. Plus he's the head of an organization called the Lazarus Order (I think that's what it's called but I could be wrong) which is "good" vamps doing all sorts of "good" works. It's like...really? It's all rather lame."Fuck. This. Shit! I'd rather go back to read those Victorian vampire novellas....in which vampires are monsters!
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "Matthew (the main character) is so lovey dovey for his woman. And he's a pious Catholic. Plus he's the head of an organization called the Lazarus Order (I think that's what it's ca..."Yeah, me too. I got so disgusted with this one that I stopped in the middle of it to read the first book of the Sookie Stackhouse series again. Those books are a bit dopey too, but at least the vampires are sexy, dangerous and like to suck blood. It was a refreshing change from the useless vamps in this novel.
Kristina wrote: " Those books are a bit dopey too, but at least the vampires are sexy, dangerous and like to suck blood. It was a refreshing change from the useless vamps in this novel. "I know right? The first handful books of the Sookie Stackhouse series are good, but the rest....I just gave up.
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: " Those books are a bit dopey too, but at least the vampires are sexy, dangerous and like to suck blood. It was a refreshing change from the useless vamps in this novel. "I know r..."
Agreed. Somewhere around Dead in the Family I lost interest. I read the last one just to see how the series would end (dumb, as I expected).
Kristina wrote: "Agreed. Somewhere around Dead in the Family I lost interest. I read the last one just to see how the series would end (dumb, as I expected). "I don't even make it to Dead in the Family, the downfall of the Sookie Stackhouse series lays in the murder mysteries taking the backseat, whilst the series becomes burdened by Sookie screwing this or that supernatural guy. =__=
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "Agreed. Somewhere around Dead in the Family I lost interest. I read the last one just to see how the series would end (dumb, as I expected). "I don't even make it to Dead in the ..."
All the fairy stuff did me in. And yes, Sookie's romances got tedious. I think the author just got really tired of writing the series. I read her Goodreads interview and she says that she was glad the contract ended when it did because she was running out of ideas...but what she didn't say was she ran out of ideas (and interest in the characters) 5 books ago. You can almost pinpoint in what book that happens (the one before Dead in the Family).
Kristina wrote: "I read her Goodreads interview and she says that she was glad the contract ended when it did because she was running out of ideas...but what she didn't say was she ran out of ideas (and interest in the characters) 5 books ago. "Oh yes this fey business is just damn icky! It makes Sookie looks like a Mary Sue.
Now it all makes sense! I should feel happy for her to escape from the contract hell...
I like her other series, which is stated by Grave Sight...can't recall the title of this series but I like almost each book, it's good that it ends with four or five books only. ^_^
Thank you SO. MUCH. for this review, I just finished the first book and was also thinking along the lines of, "what the fuck did I just read?" I hate stopping in the middle of books and even in the middle of series, but it was just so goddamn awful I really thought I might. But now I know how it turns out (and that it's exactly how I figured it would be) with a free conscious, I can firmly decide to forget that this series even exists. Cheers.Ps. Everything you said, but also what the fuck is up with Tweedledums relationship with her aunts? They've known her her whole life but suddenly Tweedledee comes along and back up bitches, she's reverting to full on teen angst mode and he's the expert on that hot piece of scarecrow. Also: The contrived representation. Gotta make sure everyone knows how gay that daemon is so I can target that crowd...gotta spend 3 pages describing this black person w/o actually saying it to bump up my street cred as an "inclusive author" Jesus Christ on a cracker... who is this woman's editor?!??!
Okay. Use of the word "mate". I'm throwing up.I feel like "WHAT THE FUCK, EDITORS" should be a tag. I might borrow it.
And now I bet what you want that there will be a 4, or a 2.5 book, with Matthew's POV, or whatvs. I feel it coming.
Again, thank you for your suffering and review. Didn't read the book obviously but felt like it nailed it.
Hiroto wrote: "Okay. Use of the word "mate". I'm throwing up.I feel like "WHAT THE FUCK, EDITORS" should be a tag. I might borrow it.
And now I bet what you want that there will be a 4, or a 2.5 book, with Matt..."
Don't throw up on your computer. What a mess.
Go ahead and borrow WHAT THE FUCK, EDITORS. It should be used for a lot of books that are poorly edited.
My response to any other books featuring these idiots: HELL NO. I will not read them. I've suffered enough!
You're welcome. Writing reviews is fun and I always appreciate comments, even people who disagree with me (what a crazy idea!).
Regan wrote: "Thank you SO. MUCH. for this review, I just finished the first book and was also thinking along the lines of, "what the fuck did I just read?" I hate stopping in the middle of books and even in the..."I'm glad my review eased your conscious. I hate to end books midway too, but sometimes you just have to do it because they suck so much.
I've read your second paragraph a few times and I'm apparently dense because I don't understand the Tweedledum/Tweedledee and the "hot piece of scarecrow" comments. I probably agree with you, but if you explain it for me, I'll comment more.
As for her trying to be an "inclusive author" yeah, that was annoying. It's like she checked off a list: gay character--check. Black man--check. Lesbians--check. Harkness is not a talented writer and her attempt at inclusion seemed forced. Personally, I don't think the woman had an editor. That's always been my problem with these books--the incredibly bad editing. I kept screaming at this book: What the fuck, editor! What the fuck! So yeah...I'm a bit nuts.
Kristina:I'm reading A Discovery of Witches, and I'm sure I'll DNF soon...
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina:I'm reading A Discovery of Witches, and I'm sure I'll DNF soon..."
:) Stop before you damage the book (or your electronic device if it's an e-book). It starts out with an intriguing premise, but soon descends into chaos and the reader muttering "wtf?!" under her breath.
Kristina wrote: "Mizuki wrote: "Kristina:I'm reading A Discovery of Witches, and I'm sure I'll DNF soon..."
:) Stop before you damage the book (or your electronic device if it's an e-book). It starts out with an..."
Well...if the author talks once more about what the MC has for dinner and if she wrote one more of the MC's trip to the fucking library (and I swear I love libraries), I will throw the book away!
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "Mizuki wrote: "Kristina:I'm reading A Discovery of Witches, and I'm sure I'll DNF soon..."
:) Stop before you damage the book (or your electronic device if it's an e-book). It s..."
She talks a lot about how much tea she drinks. And her stretchy black pants. Did you get to the vampires doing yoga yet?
Kristina wrote: " Did you get to the vampires doing yoga yet? "Yes she did! I can never believe vampires can become so silly! It's even worse than the vampire-baseball in Twilight~
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: " Did you get to the vampires doing yoga yet? "Yes she did! I can never believe vampires can become so silly! It's even worse than the vampire-baseball in Twilight~"
The author completely de-fangs vampires for her books. They are complete losers who eat food, drink wine, go outside, and are Christians. The Twilight vampires are even more interesting than these yoga scientist vamps. Blech.
Kristina wrote: "The author completely de-fangs vampires for her books. They are complete losers who eat food, drink wine, go outside, and are Christians. The Twilight vampires are even more interesting than these yoga scientist vamps. Blech. "IKR? but at least Matthew's mother is hunting and drinking (animal) blood and killing the bad guys who killed her husband.
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "The author completely de-fangs vampires for her books. They are complete losers who eat food, drink wine, go outside, and are Christians. The Twilight vampires are even more intere..."Matthew's mother is probably the most normal vamp in the books.
Kristina wrote: "Matthew's mother is probably the most normal vamp in the books. "Totally agree!
And Kristina, I found it's so stupid for Diana's parents to bind her magic to the guy she loves (Matthew)! What? So she shouldn't be using her magic for herself!? WTF?
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "Matthew's mother is probably the most normal vamp in the books. "Totally agree!
And Kristina, I found it's so stupid for Diana's parents to bind her magic to the guy she loves (..."
Yeah...this isn't exactly a pro-woman novel. Diana is a good little girl and when she marries Matthew, she has to adhere to the tradition of being a vampire wife, which means she has to obey him at all times, do nothing to bring shame upon the vampire family name, etc. It's very disturbing. Diana is so dumb that she says, okay. And Matthew is a very controlling husband. Diana, who supposedly has the best witch powers ever, rarely uses them. It's very odd--a powerful witch not allowed or willing to use her own powers. Really, someone could write a paper on these 3 books.
Kristina wrote: "Diana is so dumb that she says, okay. And Matthew is a very controlling husband. Diana, who supposedly has the best witch powers ever, rarely uses them. It's very odd--a powerful witch not allowed or willing to use her own powers."This part is so messed up, at the beginning we are led to believe Diana doesn't want to use her power, then in the middle of ADOW, we are told her mother blocked her power for some silly reason! That's awful!
Yes, it's sickening to see a woman writing all this crap and not once did Diana call Matthew to back off...or she makes herself sound like she's not okay with Matthew's attitude but in the end she always gives in!>___<
Best review ever! I'm half way through this tedious book, but keep getting distracted by well written novels.
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "Diana is so dumb that she says, okay. And Matthew is a very controlling husband. Diana, who supposedly has the best witch powers ever, rarely uses them. It's very odd--a powerful w..."One of the messages I took from this trilogy is that women should do what they're told...by men. They should always subdue their powers, authority, and independence and let the man lead. If you really want to read into it, it's rather old-fashioned and anti-feminist. It's also utter crap, story-wise.
Deborah wrote: "Best review ever! I'm half way through this tedious book, but keep getting distracted by well written novels."Thank you. I'm glad you're taking a break from this awful book by reading good ones. I'm the opposite--once I start a crap book that I intend to finish, I spend more time reading it--just to finish it. It's like eating your artichokes so you can enjoy the ice cream dessert.
Kristina wrote: "One of the messages I took from this trilogy is that women should do what they're told...by men. They should always subdue their powers, authority, and independence and let the man lead."Not to mention Diana is supposed to be a powerful witch, and she can't do better than letting a man boss her around.
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "One of the messages I took from this trilogy is that women should do what they're told...by men. They should always subdue their powers, authority, and independence and let the man..."Okay, so I have a theory about this and similar books, notably Twilight and 50 Shades.
The fantastical and the magical are incredible aphrodisiacs for a lot of women. Same with power. While 50 Shades doesn't have magic or vampires, it does have power and obscene wealth. There's a huge appeal there for a lot of women, but there's also a great appeal in the conservative heteronormative ideal of romance - man meets woman, marries and has kids. These books all end like that. It's not enough for the woman to possess her own power for many - they want to be able to relinquish that power in favour of something simpler. It's that mix of the magic and the mundane that's like catnip to a huge demographic.
I may be talking bollocks, of course.
Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "One of the messages I took from this trilogy is that women should do what they're told...by men. They should always subdue their powers, authority, and independence and let the man..."Yes, but she's in LUUUUUVVVVV and supposedly that makes it okay.
Ceilidh wrote: "Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "One of the messages I took from this trilogy is that women should do what they're told...by men. They should always subdue their powers, authority, and independence ..."No, I think you're brilliant. You're exactly right--power, whether in the form of magic or money, is an aphrodisiac for women (for some men too I think but that's a different discussion). Look at a look of books in which the women have power or special abilities of some kind. That's all well and good, but what always ends up being at least as equally (if not more) important? The love angle. The woman has to have a love partner, and often (at least in popular books) the love partner is a man.
Mr. Grey has a lot of money and power and what's her name is very drawn to that. However, she can't just enjoy the ride (ha), she has to tame him.
Thank you for bringing this up--it's such an excellent perspective. Of course, even as I accept your hypothesis, it doesn't make me like the book any more. For me, it's a lesson how NOT to write.
Ceilidh wrote: "Mizuki wrote: "Kristina wrote: "One of the messages I took from this trilogy is that women should do what they're told...by men. They should always subdue their powers, authority, and independence ..."Having power is somewhat ego-stroking, for both men and women; and adding an love interest tagging along? It's even better. but we know reality doesn't work like this for most people.
This is the best, on-point review of this book and the series in general. I just finished the series tonight and now I wish I had never read them. I do have to say, though, that the secondary characters are MUCH more interesting than the two main ones.
This is the best, on-point review of this book and the series in general. I just finished the series tonight and now I wish I had never read them. I do have to say, though, that the secondary characters are MUCH more interesting than the two main ones.
Megan wrote: "This is the best, on-point review of this book and the series in general. I just finished the series tonight and now I wish I had never read them. I do have to say, though, that the secondary chara..."Thank you. I think my IQ dropped a few points because I read all three. The secondary characters are more interesting than Matthew and Diana, but really, those two idiots set the bar pretty low.
Hilarious and 100% on point. "You two are the Brangelina of this idiot trilogy" made me LOL.
Shelley wrote: "Hilarious and 100% on point. "You two are the Brangelina of this idiot trilogy" made me LOL."Thank you. I had fun writing this review. When a book is this bad, it's almost too easy.
What?? No stretchy black yoga pants? How can that be?Thanks for a wonderful review, as usual: ...what the fuck. How can something this awful be a bestseller? My thoughts about the first book. Could not muster up the energy to read the second and definitely won't read the last.
On principle, I think I should boycott the BBC adaption, but I look forward to reading about it.
HєllyBєlly wrote: "What?? No stretchy black yoga pants? How can that be?Thanks for a wonderful review, as usual: ...what the fuck. How can something this awful be a bestseller? My thoughts about the first book. Cou..."
I was surprised that Diana did not wear stretchy black pants in this book as it would have appropriate (her pregnant with twins).
I cannot come up with any reason for this book being a best-seller other than:
1. It plays into the current (current for about 10 years) vampires are sexy fad.
2. It's a romance.
3. The majority of the reading public has absolutely no idea of what a good book should look like anymore. I don't necessarily blame the reading public for this. I blame publishers who don't give two shits about quality books anymore. It's all money, money, money.
Oh, I have great faith that the BBC will pull a decent series from these shitty books. There is a good book in there; it's just Viking's editors didn't give those previously mentioned two shits about finding it. I wish I knew someone in the BBC to ask them about the process--I'm guessing the show will look only a bit like the book. Sort of like the movie for that piece of shit book Paper Towns by John "I write novels that pander to the YA crowd" Green. The novel is sexist, pretentious, boring and stupid. The movie trailers I've seen on tv look NOTHING like the book. So a series of screen writers pulled a few kernals of goodness from what is a craptastic novel and the movie may actually be halfway decent. But I won't go see it. I refuse to give him money. I already pay for BBC (America) so I can watch the Harkness trilogy without adding to her bank account.
Kristina wrote: "HєllyBєlly wrote: "What?? No stretchy black yoga pants? How can that be?Thanks for a wonderful review, as usual: ...what the fuck. How can something this awful be a bestseller? My thoughts about ..."
I have not read anything by John Green, and by the sounds of it, I have not missed much. It is all about money, isn't it. Look at how much that Grey-business is making.
I hope that the BBC can find the good book inside all the unnecessary and boring details of Harkness' writing and make something worth watching. I hope you'll let us know!
I have not read anything by John Green, and by the sounds of it, I have not missed much. It is all about money, isn't it. Look at how much that Grey-business is making.I'm always reluctant to tell someone NOT to read something because not everyone has the same book tastes. But JG is horrible. I read him because a GR friend had written a bad review so I was curious (could this book be this bad?) and read it...yeah, it's that bad. Unless you enjoy pretentious teenagers speaking absolute nonsense and paper-thin characters, avoid JG.
Ah, the 50 Shades of Grey nonsense. That is truly commercialism at work. It's a terrible book. An editor (good editor with an endless supply of red ink) would have helped it, but in it's published form--so bad. Yet has made lots of money. The idea that so many people read ALL the books and thought they were good just makes me sad.
I hope that the BBC can find the good book inside all the unnecessary and boring details of Harkness' writing and make something worth watching. I hope you'll let us know!
Curiosity will force me to watch the Harkness tv adaption, at least the first few episodes. It's just in development now so I don't expect it to show up until maybe next year sometime. But I'll post an update letting everyone know!
