Tongue In Cheek Quotes

Quotes tagged as "tongue-in-cheek" (showing 1-23 of 23)
Anthony Liccione
“If talk is cheap, then being silent is expensive. And many people it seems, can't afford to buy into it.”
Anthony Liccione

Lafcadio Hearn
“also in the boom of the big bell there is a quaintness of tone which wakens feelings, so strangely far-away from all the nineteenth-century part of me, that the faint blind stirrings of them make me afraid, - deliciously afraid. never do I hear that billowing peal but I become aware of a striving and a fluttering in the abyssal part of my ghost, - a sensation as of memories struggling to reach the light beyond the obscurations of a million million deaths and births. I hope to remain within hearing of that bell... and, considering the possibility of being doomed to the state of a jiki-ketsu-geki, I want to have my chance of being reborn in some bamboo flower-cup, or mizutame, whence I might issue softly, singing my thin and pungent song, to bite some people that I know.”
Lafcadio Hearn, Kwaidan: Stories and Studies of Strange Things

Sorin Suciu
“He was a good storyteller, but he told the kind of stories that made children run away from the village and adults look for a length of rope and some soap.”
Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

Sorin Suciu
“Are you single?” inquired − rather bluntly − the email titled “Career Opportunity.”
Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

Sorin Suciu
“It probably wasn’t entirely her fault that she was such a bitter person. Having a name like Grace can be a serious stigma, especially when nature has endowed you with about as much charm as that of a disillusioned walrus.”
Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

Sorin Suciu
“Let’s see, you will need a project plan, resource allocation, a timeline, test cycles, a budget, a contingency budget, lots of diagrams, flowcharts, a media release, a strategic vision, a charter, technical specifications, business rules, travel expenses, a development environment, deployment instructions, a user acceptance test, stationary, overtime schedule, a mock-up, prototypes…”
“Tell me,” she said, “did the people who built the pyramids have any of those?”
“Mostly, they had beer. Come to think of it, if there had been such a thing as a Business Analyst in ancient Egypt, then the hieroglyph for it would have been very graphical, if you know what I mean.”
Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

Sorin Suciu
“The conversation had been so lacking in quality that it actually made Toddlers and Tiaras look like good entertainment by comparison.”
Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

Sorin Suciu
“FEBRIZIUM();” said Buggeroff, and the foul smell immediately disappeared as if by, well − Magic.”
Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

Sorin Suciu
“Merkin had used only one drop of the “just soap.” Two drops would have made her Master walk slightly awkwardly. Three drops would have made a Victorian gentleman utter something really lustful, such as “you transfix me quite.”
Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

Sorin Suciu
“What makes the Arctic VarChar so unusual and popular is that each bite has a different taste. As you carve your way into the ersatz fillet, you might find yourself chewing on smoked salmon, tender tuna, marinated mackerel, seared snapper, raw roe, baked barracuda, grilled goldfish, or even pickled perch, to alliterate just a few.”
Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

Poul Anderson
“I am told that our chroniclers' practice of inventing speeches for great persons whose lives they write is unscholarly.”
Poul Anderson, The High Crusade

Sorin Suciu
“There was a rare quality about Nurse Grace’s smile. It was the knowledge that sooner or later her smile would inspire some witty observer to say something around the lines of, “Every time you do this, an angel farts”.”
Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

Sorin Suciu
“On a scale ranging from very little to too much, Merkin could just about categorize the amount of personal data stored in Master Loo’s computer as a shitload.”
Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

Sorin Suciu
“Master Dung’s study was silent. So silent, in fact, that one might have been able to hear a gnat passing air, if only an obligingly flatulent gnat had happened nearby.”
Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

Sorin Suciu
“Let’s just say that once the party was over, the Tribe had the decency to put most of the things back into place with the possible, and otherwise notable, exception of the platypus and a moronic drinking game that later evolved into the imperial measurement system.”
Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

Kim Lawrence
“Did you know you just put the peel in the pan and the potatoes down the waste disposal?' he enquired with interest.
'It's a new recipe.'
His lips twitched but his expression remained solemn. 'The results should be...interesting.”
Kim Lawrence, Wife by Agreement

J.S. Davey
“The early bird gets the worm that should have slept in.”
J. Seth Davey

Libbie Hawker
“Nafsha is so concerned with my virginity. I am beginning to think she would wed me herself. Alas, the only tool she might use to make me a woman is her tongue -- and it is far too sharp for me to allow it beneath my skirts.”
Libbie Hawker, Daughter of Sand and Stone

Michael Hyatt
“Watch your mouth: The language we use creates the reality we experience.”
Michael Hyatt

Dexter Palmer
“And this,' Astrid says, gesturing at a wiry gentleman wearing eyeglasses and a houndstooth suit in need of pressing, standing a little distance away from the rest of the group, looking slightly uncomfortable, 'is Dexter Palmer, and he's a—what?'

'I,' says Dexter Palmer. 'Um.'

'He's a novelist,' Astrid brays, and Harold looks at Dexter, at his right arm rubbing his threadbare left elbow. Harold sees the oaken trunk in the corner of Dexter's filthy downtown loft with an enormous padlock on it, sees the tens of thousands of pages of handwritten manuscript that fill it. He sees the stub of the tallow candle on Dexter's rickety wooden desk, purchased for a dollar-fifty at a rummage sale. He sees the short leg of the desk propped up with a seven-hundred page study of phrenology, printed during the age of miracles. He sees Dexter's eyes going bad by candlelight, a whole diopter lost with each late night. 'Zounds, I am working on my masterpiece,' Dexter Palmer yells hoarsely, disturbing the neighbors. He slings a cup half-full of tepid chamomile tea at the wall, where it shatters.

'Dexter's writing a novel,' Astrid says brightly.

After a few minutes of introductory cross-talk, the group of five splits into separate conversations: Harold talks with his sister and Charmaine, while Marlon ends up with Dexter. To Harold, Marlon looks cornered—Harold can't hear what Dexter's saying, but whatever he's talking about, he's clearly going on about it at length and in fine detail. Maybe Marlon is getting to hear all about the novel. Every once in a while Marlon will look at Harold and theatrically roll his eyes and sigh, but Dexter, who's frantically gesticulating, wrapped up in whatever he's chattering about, doesn't notice.”
Dexter Palmer, The Dream of Perpetual Motion

Dexter Palmer
“That friend of hers has got to go, though. You're lucky you got stuck with that Dexter guy instead of her.'

'Yeah, but that Dexter couldn't shut his piehole either,' Marlon says. 'I mean, Christ. Artists and writers—let them kill each other off in cage matches; let God sort 'em out.”
Dexter Palmer, The Dream of Perpetual Motion

“Everyone is entitled to an opinion… but you may only express it openly once you’ve earned the right to open your mouth in the company of others.”
A.J. Vosse