Satirical Humor Quotes

Quotes tagged as "satirical-humor" (showing 1-11 of 11)
Lily Tomlin
“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?”
Lily Tomlin, Many Moons

Jonathan Swift
“My little friend Grildrig; you have made a most admirable panegyrick upon your country. You have clearly proved that ignorance, idleness, and vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a legislator. That laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied by those whose interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding them. I observe among you, some lines of an institution, which in its original might have been tolerable; but these half erased, and the rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It doth not appear, from all you have said, how any one perfection is required towards the procurement of any one station among you...I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives, to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth.”
Jonathan Swift, Gulliver's Travels

“We are puzzle pieces, bragging about being puzzle pieces, rather than being the picture.”
Tom Althouse, The Frowny Face Cow

Joseph Heller
“Like hell he was," said the first C.I.D. man. "I'm the C.I.D. man arround here."
Major Major could barely recognize him because he was wearing a faded maroon corduroy bathrobe with open seams under both arms, linty flannel pajamas, & worn house slippers with one flapping sole.”
Joseph Heller, Catch-22

Mark Twain
“I will say this much for the nobility: that, tyrannical, murderous, rapacious and morally rotten as they were, they were deeply and enthusiastically religous. Nothing could divert them from the regular and faithful performace of the pieties enjoined by the Church.”
Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

E.A. Bucchianeri
“I have been told the best things in life are free ~ I found them very expensive.”
E.A. Bucchianeri

Kurt Vonnegut
“It was through this viewer that he got his first reply from Tralfamadore. The reply was written on Earth in huge stones on a plain in what is now England. The ruins of the reply still stand, and are known as Stonehenge. The meaning of Stonehenge in Tralfamadorian, when viewed from above, is: "Replacement part being rushed with all possible speed."

Stonehenge wasn't the only message old Salo had received.

There had been four others, all of them written on Earth.

The Great Wall of China means in Tralfamadorian, when viewed from above: "Be patient. We haven't forgotten about you."

The Golden House of the Roman Emperor Nero meant: "We are doing the best we can."

The meaning of the Moscow Kremlin when it was first walled was: "You will be on your way before you know it."

The meaning of the Palace of the League of Nations in Geneva, Switzerland, is: "Pack up your things and be ready to leave on short notice.”
Kurt Vonnegut

Leonard Wibberley
“World opinion, though sharply divided on nuclear tests and the risk of atmospheric pollution, could congratulate itself on being united in its opposition to cannibalism. No country in the world was prepared to support the custom of eating the dead, though the right of governments to kill people, individually or by hundreds of thousands, was not questioned for a moment.”
Leonard Wibberley, A Feast of Freedom

“There's no such things as sweet as dream
Well maybe if you live on it
But you could live such a sweet life
If you'd just realized how alive your dreams beat”
Joshua Natad

“Our dream is parallel to the reality
Slumber's one platform for perpendicularity
But it always went contrary to the plan taken
Waking us from sleep to sleep back again”
Joshua Natad

“When dreaming is better than reality we're living
What's the sense of waking up in a nightmare?”
Joshua Natad