Kids Funny Quotes

Quotes tagged as "kids-funny" (showing 1-14 of 14)
Criss Jami
“There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about.”
Criss Jami, Killosophy

Jeannette Walls
“People worried too much about their children. Suffering when you're young is good for you. It immunized your body and soul...”
Jeannette Walls, The Glass Castle

“Seeing a big scratch on Andy's cheek, he tried again. "You win this fight?" he
touched the little boy's cheek lightly.
Andy's eyes filled with tears. "I fallded down."
"Fell," Jordan corrected automatically.
"DADDY!! COME HERE!!" JD commanded furiously. He stomped off to
behind the sofa. Jordan rolled his eyes and followed.
Leaning down, Jordan whispered, "What?"
JD had on his 'frog face'. The one he wore when grownups have been bad.
Brows wrinkled, mouth all scrunched and frowny, hands on hips, all 33 inches
of righteous indignation, he hissed, "He be's just a baby. He dunna talk good
yet."
Jordan cocked his eyebrow at his son.
"I'm a big boy, Daddy. I know this stuff.”
Grasshopper, Just Hit Send

Jennifer L. Holm
“What is it with folks always talking about where they’re from? You could grow up in a muddy ditch, but if it’s your muddy ditch, then it’s gotta be the swellest muddy ditch ever.”
Jennifer L. Holm, Turtle in Paradise

Dean Koontz
“Winny had learned from books... you had to be tested in life to discover who you were and what you were capable of doing. Hopeless sissy, noble warrior, maniac - he could be anything, and he wouldn't know until he was tested. One thing he could never be was Santa Claus. Nobody could be Santa Claus. Santa Claus wasn't real like the FedEx guy.”
Dean Koontz, 77 Shadow Street

“In a sec.......let's see if this will help. Once there was a bunny that was very sad
cause his ears were long and floppy and he stepped on them all the time."
"Like my shoelaces?"
"Yep, just like that. One day a beautiful fairy,,,,,,,,"
"The shoelace fairy?"
"Yep. She landed on the bunny's head and.........."
"Didn't that hurt? Does she have a wand?"
"Nope. She lifted up the bunny's ears and crossed them over like an x."
"I can cross my eyes.........look."
"Lovely. She put one ear through the bottom of the x and she pulled."
"She pulled the bunny's ears..........bad fairy."
"No, she was trying to tie his.........."
"Dan," Jordan laughed, "Stop. That is the worst thing I've ever heard."
"Well, it's better than the teepees and the arrows and crap," Danny huffed.
"Can I go see Andy now?"
"Yes, go see Andy and his Velcro sneakers," Jordan snickered. "We give up.”
Grasshopper, Just Hit Send

Vaikom Muhammad Basheer
“മ്പീട ഒര്കൈച്ച് നാലണ. മ്പീട രണ്ട്കൈച്ചും ഒന്നിനുംകൊട രണ്ടു കാലണ!”
Vaikom Muhammad Basheer

Dave Barry
“So for some reason everybody makes this huge deal about pandas. I don't know why. They never actually do anything except eat and poop. But they're really famous.' 'Yeah," said Suzana. 'They're like the Kardashians of zoo animals.”
Dave Barry, The Worst Class Trip Ever

Dave Barry
“Culver is a language magnet school. What it's mainly a magnet for, if you want to know the truth, is nerds.”
Dave Barry

Dave Barry
“I really, really like Suzana Delgado, who is the most beautiful girl in the eighth grade and probably the world. She has like 183 million Instagram followers.”
Dave Barry, The Worst Class Trip Ever

Deborah Hale
“I thought she liked you now. I've seen her kiss you and she says your name the special way she says Rina's and mine - like it tastes good.”
Deborah Hale, Carpetbagger's Wife

Janet Evanovich
“Like I said before, kids were okay from a distance, but I didn't think they'd ever replace hamsters.”
Janet Evanovich, Three to Get Deadly

“Child-- "I can't be patient, that's not a word, so don't even say it mommy."

Mommy-- "What?”
Mel Brown

Steven Stanaszak
“Life doesn't need to be perfect to be wonderful.”
Steven Stanaszak, The Manhood Manual: A Comic Adventure