Ironic Humor Quotes

Quotes tagged as "ironic-humor" (showing 1-14 of 14)
Yana Toboso
“Even though I dislike being kicked by others, I do enjoy the feeling of kicking others”
Yana Toboso, Black Butler, Vol. 3

George R.R. Martin
“Jon hung a quiver from his belt and pulled an arrow. The shaft was black, the fletching grey. As he notched it to his string, he remembered something that Theon Greyjoy had once said after a hunt. "The boar can keep his tusks and the bear his claws," he had declared, smiling that way he did. "There's nothing half so mortal as a grey goose feather.”
George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords

Dan Simmons
“[The Void Which Binds] actual but unaccessible presence in our universe is one of the prime causes for our species elaborating myth and religion, for our stubborn, blind belief in extrasensory powers, in telepathy and precognition, in demons and demigods and resurrection and reincarnation and ghosts and messiahs and so many other categories of almost-but-not-quite satisfying bullshit.”
Dan Simmons, The Rise of Endymion

Charles Dickens
“I hope I know my own unworthiness, and that I hate and despise myself and all my fellow-creatures as every practicable Christian should.”
Charles Dickens, Barnaby Rudge

“Do you suffer from
callous-narrow-minded biases?
I’m humanely secondhand embarrassed for you.”
JT Sanz

Mary Karr
“If you'd told me even a year before...that I'd wind up whispering my sins in the confessional or on my knees saying the rosary, I would've laughed myself cockeyed. More likely pastime?Pole dancer. International spy. Drug mule. Assassin.

I drive under a sky black as graphite to meet my new spiritual director...a bulky Franciscan nun named Sister Margaret, patiently going blind behind fish-tank glasses that magnify her eyes like goggles.”
Mary Karr, Lit

Dean M. Cole
“It's a sad day when you count a man lucky for only losing a left hand and part of his ass.”
Dean M. Cole, Ambush

Jeff Lindsay
“Doakes had a first name! It was Albert - had anyone ever really called him that? Unthinkable. I had assumed his name was Sergeant.”
Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

Želimir Periš
“O, jadna moja Marjeta, počela je odma plakati stara Marjetina mater, jer se Marjeta nije to jutro vratila s ispaše, a cijele je noći grmilo. Kad u nas grmi, ljudi se sklone pod koji zaklon i čekaju jutro pa se u selo vrate tek ujutro. A dogodilo se, ne jednom, da ih grom pokosi na tom našem brdu, pa se nikad ne vrate. Brda su ovdje kod nas gola, nema stabla, sve samo sitno grmlje, i kad hodaš tuda po oluji, grom nema koga nego tebe pogoditi. Zato se u ovom kraju uvijek puno vjerovalo u boga i imalo jedan poseban odnos s bogom. Pred bogom se ništa nije skrivalo i uvijek mu se glasno molilo. Jer nema puno mjesta gdje bog tako često i tako precizno pogađa sve koji su mu nevjerni.”
Želimir Periš, Lapis Histriae 2012

Helen Fielding
“I will not sulk about having no boyfriend, but develop inner poise and authority and sense of self as woman of substance,complete without boyfriend, as best way to obtain boyfriend.”
Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones's Diary

Ljupka Cvetanova
“Some people stride toward a better future. Others have chauffeurs.”
Ljupka Cvetanova, The New Land

“La ironía de la vida es como a un burdel sin prostitutas.”
Efrat Cybulkiewicz

Eliza Crewe
“Me can read good.”
Eliza Crewe, Crushed

Lucian F. Vaizer
“¿Sabes lo que le dice la mantis hembra a la mantis macho después de hacer el amor? Fue bonito mientras duró.”
Lucian F. Vaizer, Seis Almas Seis Destinos: Morir no te salvará del horror