Humourous Quote Quotes

Quotes tagged as "humourous-quote" (showing 1-30 of 58)
Amie Kaufman
“The decker these ***holes brought with them is top tier, but I'm going to stomp his jelly beans so hard his kids will be born crooked.”
Amie Kaufman, Gemina

Ljupka Cvetanova
“True friends chop the onions and cry together.”
Ljupka Cvetanova, The New Land

Siobhan Davis
“I want him when you’re done with him,” Rach pipes up, sending me a teasing grin.
“You’ll be waiting a while,” I reply, accepting a glass of champagne from Ky. “Like eternity.”
Siobhan Davis, Keeping Kyler

Ljupka Cvetanova
“Help yourself with the state! It's on democracy!”
Ljupka Cvetanova, The New Land

“Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags.”
Fakeer Ishavardas

Richard Wright
“He did not like me and I did not like him, though I tried harder than he to conceal my dislike.”
Richard Wright, Black Boy

Anthony Trollope
“No one but a preaching clergyman has, in these realms, the power of compelling an audience to sit silent and be tormented.”
Anthony Trollope, Barchester Towers

“Believe you me, I am all for you; and wish you well - for you to go to hell.”
Fakeer Ishavardas

Yuval Noah Harari
“today the vast majority of human communication – whether in the form of emails, phone calls or newspaper columns – is gossip. It comes so naturally to us that it seems as if our language evolved for this very purpose

|| Gossip usually focuses on wrongdoings. Rumour-mongers are the original fourth estate, journalists who inform society about and thus protect it from cheats and freeloaders.”
Yuval Noah Harari, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind

Anthony Lane
“Our age is so resolutely unheroic, and the employment opportunities for registered demigods are now so scarce, that all we can do, in our enfeebled state, is laugh with envy and disbelief at the memory of those who still had the wit and the wherewithal to live large.”
Anthony Lane, Nobody's Perfect: Writings from The New Yorker

T.N. Suarez
“I AM NOT A WRITER.
My characters simply commandeer my fingertips, writing their own destinies.”
T.N. Suarez

F.D.  Lee
“There are a number of rules that should be observed when one meets royalty, ranging from what one can say and when, to where one should stand, when one can sit, even where one should look. Sindy bobbed a nervous curtsy and, before being introduced, blurted out an invitation to come inside whilst looking John directly in the eye.”
F.D. Lee, The Fairy's Tale

James Ellroy
“Some of them screamed. Some of them wept. Some of them grinned like LSD was a blast. A case officer said John Stanton hatched the idea - lets flood Cuba with this shit before we invade. Langley co-signed the brainstorm. Langley embellished it: Let's induce mass hallucinations and stage the second coming of Christ!!!! Langley found some suicidal actors. Langley dolled them up to look like J.C. Langley had them set to pre-invade Cuba concurrent with the dope saturation. Peter howled. The case officer said, 'It's not funny.' A drug-zorched peon whipped out his wang and jacked off.”
James Ellroy, American Tabloid

Gary Edward Gedall
“Yesterday I bought myself a new, very sharp kitchen knife.
And I managed to cut my finger within 5 minutes of getting home!
Those plastic packages are bloody dangerous!!!”
Gary Edward Gedall

Marissa Meyer
“You are not a murderer. I find it difficult to think of that as a personality flaw.”
Marissa Meyer, Winter

Jennifer L. Armentrout
“Either way, excitement hummed through me as we headed out to the garage. I’d never seen an exorcism before. This should prove interesting.
“Can I yell ‘By the power of Christ, I compel you’ whenever we get to that point?” I asked.
“What?” Zayne laughed as he opened my passenger door. “Hate to break it to you, but we don’t have to say a word and no one will be yelling anything like that.”
I pouted. Dammit, I’d always wanted to say that. “Well, that’s not nearly as entertaining as the exorcisms I’ve seen on TV.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, Stone Cold Touch

“I love religious nuts. They make me remember I have them too. So, being a health nut, I scratch them religiously. Just as I do my butt.”
Fakeer Ishavardas

“Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?”
Fakeer Ishavardas

Joe Mahoney
“If Humphrey Bogart were alive today, he'd probably be dead by now." -- Glen Schultz”
Joe Mahoney, A Time and a Place

L.A. Golding
“It’s not being blasé; I just don’t sweat the small boggles.”
L.A. Golding, Lerkus: A Journey to End All Suffering

Mina Rehman
“In my defense, I was left unsupervised.”
Mina Rehman, A Princess's Guide to Dragon Domestication

“Yeah, yeah, I know you take pride in who you are. However, do not pass away without getting What Is. Or you'll die as you are - dumb, as a religious nut. Of course, you may prefer to stay as you are. In that case, best of luck.”
Fakeer Ishavardas

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