Humerous Quotes Quotes

Quotes tagged as "humerous-quotes" (showing 1-9 of 9)
“A woman needs a man like a tortoise needs a crah helmet.”
Jeanette E. Mathews

Michael Lee West
“You raise them half-decent, and they grow up and leave. They move to Miami or California-- someplace with gourmet groceries and nude beaches because you've reared them to cook good and be liberal minded. It's just the opposite with your failures-- them kids stick to your tail like a cocklebur. You'd think it would be the other way around, but it's not. No matter how old I get, this will always amaze me.”
Michael Lee West, American Pie

Jill Conner Browne
“Rich old people are more attractive than poor old people, so by all means, try to get rich before age sets in. Otherwise, you'll just be playing catch-up for the rest of your life and that will just wear you out, let me tell you.”
Jill Conner Browne, The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook

Melissa A. Craven
“Where's your crown, Short Stuff?"
"Stuffed in a planter back there with my shoes.”
Melissa A. Craven, The Awakening

Jill Conner Browne
“We read in the paper about a fifty-five-year-old woman-you read right, that's fifty five- who had quadruplets! Since the pregnancy was in vitro, it was clearly on purpose. I've got to tell you, we were all pretty happy that we hadn't done this and also none of us had ever considered it. Nor had we considered pulling out all our teeth with pliers or slamming our fingers in the car door repeatedly just to see what it feels like.”
Jill Conner Browne, The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook

Michael Lee West
“Everybody's always doing the same old things--- you know, doing unto others before they can do unto you.”
Michael Lee West, American Pie

J.P. Mac
“No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a homunculus.”
J.P. Mac

“Two wrongs never add up to a right. But it's okay, I always sucked at maths.”
EverSkeptic