Coffee Humor Quotes

“Life is like coffee, the darker it gets, the more it energizes.”
― Ankita Singhal

“I need COFFEE to help me change the things I can... and WINE to help me accept the things I can't!”
― Tanya Masse

“Coffee first. Save the world later.”
― Caroline George, The Vestige

“What doesn’t KILL me makes me stronger… Except for the extinction of COFFEE… that might kill me.”
― Tanya Masse

“COFFEE! Because this body is NOT going to wake itself up!”
― Comic Strip Mama

“With enough coffee anything is possible”
― Karen Salmansohn

“The Lord must have created coffee to reward humans for those bad times they sometimes have on Earth. Having charged your heart and brain with a cup of coffee, you’re ready to face the challenges of life. A good cup of coffee makes life seem better.”
― Sahara Sanders, INDIGO DIARIES: A Series of Novels

“Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, COFFEE and acceptance…The SIX stages of waking up!!”
― Comic Strip Mama

“For some reason riding a caffeinated dragon just sounded like a monumentally bad idea.”
― A.J. Sky, Starstorm

“The problem is NOT the PROBLEM...The problem is I haven’t had enough COFFEE to deal with the PROBLEM.”
― Tanya Masse

“NOTHING.
it doesn't matter if Prince Charles falls off his horse
or that the hummingbird is so seldom
seen
or that we are too senseless to go
insane.

coffee. give us more of that NOTHING
coffee.”
― Charles Bukowski

“I’d like to THANK whoever saw a
bunch of cherries and thought....
HEY!! If I dry out a bunch of those berry seeds, call them “BEANS”, smash them and add hot water, it will be AWESOME!”
― Comic Strip Mama

“I should never do anything pre-coffee.

'It was only a teeny fire,' I told my uncle over the phone.”
― Cindy Brown, The Sound of Murder

“A good cup of coffee makes life feel better.”
― Sahara Sanders, INDIGO DIARIES: A Series of Novels

“Mrs. Windemere always had a cup of hot coffee waiting for me. Black, which, she said, was the only way to drink it if you wanted to be awake to serve the god of Creativity”
― Gary D. Schmidt, Okay for Now

“Asking me to do ANYTHING before I’ve had my first cup of coffee should be an episode on 1000 Ways to DIE.”
― Comic Strip Mama

“You’d have coffee on a drip if you could, wouldn’t you?”
― Kristina Adams, What Happens in New York

“Having charged your brain with a cup of coffee, you’re ready to face some more challenges of life.”
― Sahara Sanders, INDIGO DIARIES: A Series of Novels

“The Lord must have created coffee to reward humans for those bad times they sometimes have on Earth.”
― Sahara Sanders, INDIGO DIARIES: A Series of Novels

“Having charged your heart and brain with a cup of coffee, you’re ready to face the challenges of life.”
― Sahara Sanders, INDIGO DIARIES: A Series of Novels

“A good cup of coffee makes life seem better.”
― Sahara Sanders, INDIGO DIARIES: A Series of Novels

“If drinking alcohol gives people Dutch courage, then drinking coffee gives me Dutch energy.”
― Stewart Stafford

“The donut dunked herself in coffee
But burnt herself in the process
And despite the scars she bore
She was delicious anyways”
― Brendan Bigney, Atomic Kiss

“I’d like to THANK the genius who saw a bunch of cherries and thought....HEY!! If I dry out a bunch of those berry seeds, call them “BEANS”, smash them and add hot water, it will be AWESOME!!!!”
― Comic Strip Mama

“…Get me a cappuccino,
with toasties,
flavored in Jalapeno.”

“Anything special for the cappuccino?”
He asked, the waiter chivalrous.

“Follow the ideal doing,
grind the beans just before brewing.
Use spring water,
for softened water,
makes a horror.
A parley perfect,
between the coffee,
and the milk,
with some,
brown sugar thick.” (Poem: An apology of a coffee lunatic, Book: Ginger and Honey)”
― Jasleen Kaur Gumber, Ginger and Honey

“My Cup of AL MO MOTTO...oh yeah, I love that taste in my mouth but drinking too much can be too much and a bit of coffee love here and there is better than none.”
― Kelvin Mark Coleman

“I killed a fruit fly that wouldn't get out of my face by clapping my hands on it. In its last act of kamikaze defiance, the fly hurled its fading carcass into a coffee I had only half-drunk and was enjoying. I had to pour it down the drain. F***er.”
― Stewart Stafford

“You know when you're driving your car and you can't see properly so you turn the music down to see better? That's how stupid he feels right now.”
― Gian Andrea, Where does the coffee go?

“She is amazingly hot. She seduces me all the time. I can't stop looking at her. She wants me all the time. She keeps me awake all my wandering nights. She bewitches me in myriad unknown ways.

She is my Coffee!”
― Avijeet Das