Child Rearing Quotes

Quotes tagged as "child-rearing" Showing 1-30 of 36
Peggy O'Mara
“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.”
Peggy O'Mara

P.D. James
“If from infancy you treat children as gods, they are liable in adulthood to act as devils.”
P.D. James

Alice  Miller
“Child abuse is still sanctioned — indeed, held in high regard — in our society as long as it is defined as child-rearing. It is a tragic fact that parents beat their children in order to escape the emotions from how they were treated by their own parents.”
Alice Miller, The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self

Jane Smiley
“The fundamental condition of childhood is powerlessness.”
Jane Smiley

Donald Kalsched
“Early relational trauma results from the fact that we are often given more to experience in this life than we can bear to experience consciously. This problem has been around since the beginning of time, but it is especially acute in early childhood where, because of the immaturity of the psyche and/or brain, we are ill-equipped to metabolize our experience. An infant or young child who is abused, violated or seriously neglected by a caretaking adult is overwhelmed by intolerable affects that are impossible for it to metabolize, much less understand or even think about.”
Donald Kalsched, Trauma and the Soul: A Psycho-Spiritual Approach to Human Development and Its Interruption

“There are a hundred ways in which a boy can injure—if not indeed kill—himself. The more adventurous he is and the greater his initiative, the more ways he will find. If you protect him from each of the first hundred, he is sure to find the hundred and first. Though most men can look back on their boyhood and tremble at the narrowness of some of their escapes, most boys do in fact survive more or less intact, and the wise father is the trusting father.”
Christopher Milne, The Enchanted Places

Gloria Naylor
“When you raise a god instead of a child, you're bound to be serving him for the rest of your days. Same thing holds when you marry a god.”
Gloria Naylor, Mama Day

Kathryn Stockett
“By the time she a year old Mae Mobley following me around everwhere I go….Miss Leefolt, she’d narrow up her eyes at me like I done something wrong, unhitch that crying baby off my foot. I reckon that’s the risk you run, letting somebody else raise you chilluns”
Kathryn Stockett, The Help

B.F. Skinner
“The most effective alternative process [to punishment] is probably extinction. This takes time but is much more rapid than allowing the response to be forgotten. The technique seems to be relatively free of objectionable by-products. We recommend it, for example when we suggest that a parent 'pay no attention' to objectionable behavior on the part of his child. If the child's behavior is strong only because it has been reinforced by 'getting a rise out of' the parent, it will disappear when this consequence is no longer forthcoming. (p. 192)”
B.F. Skinner, Science and Human Behavior

Antonella Gambotto-Burke
“Throughout history, the most brutal cultures have always been distinguished by maternal-infant separation.”
Antonella Gambotto-Burke, Mama: Love, Motherhood and Revolution

Larry McMurtry
“Young things mainly belong to themselves. How they grow up depends on who gets attached to them.”
Larry McMurtry, Lonesome Dove

Fyodor Dostoyevsky
“Children can be told anything—anything. I've always been struck by seeing how little grown-up people understand children, how little parents even understand their own children. Nothing should be concealed from children on the pretext that they are little and that it is too early for them to understand. What a miserable and unfortunate idea! And how readily the children detect that their fathers consider them too little to understand anything, though they understand everything. Grown-up people do not know that a child can give exceedingly good advice even in the most difficult case.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Idiot

“Mothers are not simply models of femininity to their daughters but also examples of how a woman reacts to a man. Daughters learn about fathers, and men, not only by being with Dad but also by observing their parent's marital relationship-- or its unraveling.

When mothers and fathers are supportive or each other, it makes each of their paternal jobs infinitely easier. And parents who cannot bear being in one another's presence reveal as much, if not more, to a child about romantic love as anything the mother or father might say.”
Victoria Secunda, Women And Their Fathers: The Sexual and Romantic Impact of the First Man In Your Life

Jeffery Deaver
“You put a certain amount of effort into stitching a jacket or dress and you get the garment you expect. There's no mystery. But you put a thousand times more effort into raising your child and the result is the opposite of what you hope and dream for. This seemed so unfair.”
Jeffery Deaver

Eknath Easwaran
“Children naturally ask all kinds of questions and take a long time to tell their stories, and in millions of homes the parents are doing something else as they reply, “Yes, yes, I see.” And in millions of homes, the parents are surprised when their children don’t listen to them.
Those little bright eyes know when your attention is wandering. When they are telling you the news from school, give your full attention. Everything else can be set aside for the moment. You are teaching your children to listen to you.”
Eknath Easwaran, Take Your Time: How to Find Patience, Peace, and Meaning

Jim Gaffigan
“TV news is like kryptonite to children. The two major shifts in taste for children to adulthood are news and mustard. Kids hate news and mustard. Well, mustard even has the word 'turd' in it. Maybe I should threaten my kids that if they don't go to bed, I will force them to watch an hour-long newscast about mustard.”
Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat

“In these story telling moments we equip our children, with crucial solution tools for life. To deprive them of these necessary teachable moments is like denying a carpenter the tools of his trade.”
Drexel Deal, The Fight of My Life is Wrapped Up in My Father

“I tried to teach them [his sons] that about the importance of self-discipline, and that the culture of yes is built on a foundation of no.”
Bill Walton

“Over and over again, cross-cultural research on infancy teaches the exact same lesson: infants can tolerate—and thrive under—care that most any Western parent would assume would end very badly.”
Nicholas Day, Baby Meets World: Suck, Smile, Touch, Toddle

James Marshall Smith
Rules are rules was stuffed into him from the crib like he was a Thanksgiving turkey.”
James Marshall Smith, Silent Source

Philippa Gregory
“I can speak of our baby like this to no one else. Who but his father would linger over the exact width of his gummy little smile or the blueness of his eyes, or the sweetness of his little lick of tawny hair on his forehead?”
Phillippa Gregory

“Seemingly every culture before our own has had a single acceptable way to raise a baby. These cultures wouldn't have cared about the new scientific findings: they already knew how babies worked. Their answers were all very different, mind you, but they had this in common: all the other answers were wrong.

Such confidence makes sense. If you have to raise a baby, not study a baby, you'd better settle on an answer, and as long as you have settled on an answer, you may as well be certain about it. Pretty much everyone has been very certain. But if everyone has been very certain, and everyone's certainty has been very different, you start to suspect that there aren't that many certainties after all. There's no one true path. Or put another way: the one true path is forked.”
Nicholas Day, Baby Meets World: Suck, Smile, Touch, Toddle

Trevor Noah
“One day you’re going to get arrested, and when you do, don’t call me. I’ll tell the police to lock you up just to teach you a lesson.”
Because there were some black parents who’d actually do that, not pay their kid’s bail, not hire their kid a lawyer—the ultimate tough love. But it doesn’t always work, because you’re giving the kid tough love when maybe he just needs love. You’re trying to teach him a lesson, and now that lesson is the rest of his life.”
Trevor Noah, Born A Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood

Rachel Kushner
“You would not have gone. I understand that. You would not have gone up to his room. You would not have asked him for help. You would not have been wandering lost at midnight at age eleven. You would have been safe and dry and asleep, at home with your mother and father who cared about you and had rules, curfews, expectations. Everything for you would have been different. But if you were me, you would have done what I did. You would have gone, hopeful and stupid, to get the money for the taxi.”
Rachel Kushner, The Mars Room

“Perhaps it is different for humans, dear prince," she said, sounding sad, "but we have found that the underdisciplined child will bump up against life eventually and learn their lesson that way - albeit all the harder for their parents' earlier lack of courage and concern. The overdisciplined child lives all its life in a self-made cage, or bursts from it so wild and profligate with untutored energy they harm all about them, and always themselves. We prefer to underdiscipline, reckoning it better in the long drift, though it may seem harsher at the time."

"To do nothing is always easy." Ferbin did not try to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"To do nothing when you are so tempted to do something and entirely have the means to do so, is harder. It grows easier only when you know you do nothing for the active betterment of others.”
Ian M. Banks

Craig D. Lounsbrough
“Whether you’ve ever considered it or not, you’re an author. And the stories that you write are penned across the hearts of your children. Therefore, be careful with the pen because you’re writing on some very precious paper.”
Craig D. Lounsbrough

Craig D. Lounsbrough
“The future is shaped by the people that we send into it. And we must never forget that the child tugging on our pant-legs is one of those people.”
Craig D. Lounsbrough

J.D. Trafford
“Some may argue that we shouldn't shelter our children. We should let them see and experience the sins that are all around us. By keeping the children unaware, they say, we are preventing the development of their defenses. I disagreed. We have our whole lives to experience the ugliness, our whole lives to grapple with society's misplaced priorities. Trying to give a child a childhood was nothing to be ashamed of.”
J.D. Trafford, Little Boy Lost

Sarah Menkedick
“Child-rearing is notoriously boring, monotonous, and repetitive and yet somehow perpetually changing and intermittent; it can be simultaneously frenetic and eternal.”
Sarah Menkedick, Homing Instincts: Early Motherhood on a Midwestern Farm

“Do we let our children be the way they want to be?
Do we let them feel what they want to feel?
We don't.
We constantly try to change them.
There is a difference between changing and moulding.”
Raisha Lalwani, The Diary on the Fifth Floor

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