Child Rearing Quotes

Quotes tagged as "child-rearing" Showing 1-30 of 48
Peggy O'Mara
“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.”
Peggy O'Mara

P.D. James
“If from infancy you treat children as gods, they are liable in adulthood to act as devils.”
P.D. James

Jane Smiley
“The fundamental condition of childhood is powerlessness.”
Jane Smiley

Sheila Heti
“When I was younger, thinking about whether I wanted children, I always came back to this formula: if no one had told me anything about the world, I would have invented boyfriends. I would have invented sex, friendship, art. I would not have invented child-rearing.”
Sheila Heti, Motherhood

“There are a hundred ways in which a boy can injure—if not indeed kill—himself. The more adventurous he is and the greater his initiative, the more ways he will find. If you protect him from each of the first hundred, he is sure to find the hundred and first. Though most men can look back on their boyhood and tremble at the narrowness of some of their escapes, most boys do in fact survive more or less intact, and the wise father is the trusting father.”
Christopher Milne, The Enchanted Places

Kathryn Stockett
“By the time she a year old Mae Mobley following me around everwhere I go….Miss Leefolt, she’d narrow up her eyes at me like I done something wrong, unhitch that crying baby off my foot. I reckon that’s the risk you run, letting somebody else raise you chilluns”
Kathryn Stockett, The Help

Eknath Easwaran
“Children naturally ask all kinds of questions and take a long time to tell their stories, and in millions of homes the parents are doing something else as they reply, “Yes, yes, I see.” And in millions of homes, the parents are surprised when their children don’t listen to them.
Those little bright eyes know when your attention is wandering. When they are telling you the news from school, give your full attention. Everything else can be set aside for the moment. You are teaching your children to listen to you.”
Eknath Easwaran, Take Your Time: How to Find Patience, Peace, and Meaning

Rachel Kushner
“You would not have gone. I understand that. You would not have gone up to his room. You would not have asked him for help. You would not have been wandering lost at midnight at age eleven. You would have been safe and dry and asleep, at home with your mother and father who cared about you and had rules, curfews, expectations. Everything for you would have been different. But if you were me, you would have done what I did. You would have gone, hopeful and stupid, to get the money for the taxi.”
Rachel Kushner, The Mars Room

Jeffery Deaver
“You put a certain amount of effort into stitching a jacket or dress and you get the garment you expect. There's no mystery. But you put a thousand times more effort into raising your child and the result is the opposite of what you hope and dream for. This seemed so unfair.”
Jeffery Deaver

Trevor Noah
“One day you’re going to get arrested, and when you do, don’t call me. I’ll tell the police to lock you up just to teach you a lesson.”
Because there were some black parents who’d actually do that, not pay their kid’s bail, not hire their kid a lawyer—the ultimate tough love. But it doesn’t always work, because you’re giving the kid tough love when maybe he just needs love. You’re trying to teach him a lesson, and now that lesson is the rest of his life.”
Trevor Noah, Born A Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood

“Mothers are not simply models of femininity to their daughters but also examples of how a woman reacts to a man. Daughters learn about fathers, and men, not only by being with Dad but also by observing their parent's marital relationship-- or its unraveling.

When mothers and fathers are supportive or each other, it makes each of their paternal jobs infinitely easier. And parents who cannot bear being in one another's presence reveal as much, if not more, to a child about romantic love as anything the mother or father might say.”
Victoria Secunda, Women And Their Fathers: The Sexual and Romantic Impact of the First Man In Your Life

“In these story telling moments we equip our children, with crucial solution tools for life. To deprive them of these necessary teachable moments is like denying a carpenter the tools of his trade.”
Drexel Deal, The Fight of My Life is Wrapped Up in My Father

James Marshall Smith
Rules are rules was stuffed into him from the crib like he was a Thanksgiving turkey.”
James Marshall Smith, Silent Source

“Perhaps it is different for humans, dear prince," she said, sounding sad, "but we have found that the underdisciplined child will bump up against life eventually and learn their lesson that way - albeit all the harder for their parents' earlier lack of courage and concern. The overdisciplined child lives all its life in a self-made cage, or bursts from it so wild and profligate with untutored energy they harm all about them, and always themselves. We prefer to underdiscipline, reckoning it better in the long drift, though it may seem harsher at the time."

"To do nothing is always easy." Ferbin did not try to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"To do nothing when you are so tempted to do something and entirely have the means to do so, is harder. It grows easier only when you know you do nothing for the active betterment of others.”
Ian M. Banks

Craig D. Lounsbrough
“Whether you’ve ever considered it or not, you’re an author. And the stories that you write are penned across the hearts of your children. Therefore, be careful with the pen because you’re writing on some very precious paper.”
Craig D. Lounsbrough

Barbara W. Tuchman
“Medieval illustrations show people in every other human activity-making love and dying, sleeping and eating, in bed and in the bath, praying, hunting, dancing, plowing, in games and in combat, trading, traveling, reading and writing—yet so rarely with children as to raise the question: Why not? Maternal love, like sex, is generally considered too innate to be eradicable, but perhaps under certain unfavorable conditions it may atrophy. Owing to the high infant mortality of the times, estimated at one or two in three, the investment of love in a young child may have been so unrewarding that by some ruse of nature, as when overcrowded rodents in captivity will not breed, it was suppressed. Perhaps also the frequent childbearing put less value on the product. A child was born and died and another took its place.”
Barbara W. Tuchman, A Distant Mirror: The Calamitous 14th Century

“Parents are not bestowed with angels to cherish, but unripe fools to correct" (Proverbs 22: 15)”
Royal Raj S

Sarah Menkedick
“Child-rearing is notoriously boring, monotonous, and repetitive and yet somehow perpetually changing and intermittent; it can be simultaneously frenetic and eternal.”
Sarah Menkedick, Homing Instincts: Early Motherhood on a Midwestern Farm

Craig D. Lounsbrough
“The future is shaped by the people that we send into it. And we must never forget that the child tugging on our pant-legs is one of those people.”
Craig D. Lounsbrough

J.D. Trafford
“Some may argue that we shouldn't shelter our children. We should let them see and experience the sins that are all around us. By keeping the children unaware, they say, we are preventing the development of their defenses. I disagreed. We have our whole lives to experience the ugliness, our whole lives to grapple with society's misplaced priorities. Trying to give a child a childhood was nothing to be ashamed of.”
J.D. Trafford, Little Boy Lost

“Do we let our children be the way they want to be?
Do we let them feel what they want to feel?
We don't.
We constantly try to change them.
There is a difference between changing and moulding.”
Raisha Lalwani, The Diary on the Fifth Floor

James Leslie Mitchell
“What a funny and charming accent! Did you say it was New York you came from, Miss Hunter - the Bowery?"
Gay lay down and yawned, and pulled the blanketing swaths of grass over herself. "Pity you weren't properly smacked in your younger days, Lady Jane. Good night.”
James Leslie Mitchell, Gay Hunter

Craig D. Lounsbrough
“Being a Dad is not about creating a life, for that demands little of your life. It’s about cultivating a life, for that demands all of your life.”
Craig D. Lounsbrough

Virginie Despentes
“The political strategy of victimizing prostitutes also serves this purpose of branding male desire and confining it in its own squalor. He can pay to come if he wants, but he'll have to rub shoulders with filth, shame, and poverty. The prostitution transaction -- "I pay you, you satisfy me" -- is the basis of the heterosexual contract. It is hypocritical to pretend, as we do, that this transaction is foreign to our culture.”
Virginie Despentes

Nkwachukwu Ogbuagu
“You do not realise your child is fast growing only when they have grown taller than you. It’s when you longer have to hold them in their hands to cross a busy road. ~Nkwachukwu Ogbuagu”
Nkwachukwu Ogbuagu

“Our obligation as parents is not to make our children happy but to teach them how to be happy; it's not to make them comfortable but to teach them how to tolerate discomfort. For these lessons—upsetting to them as they may be now—will better equip them for survival later when it matters most.”
Taiki Matsuura

Sandra Sealy
“You are the jewel
in the crown of motherhood.”
Sandra Sealy, Chronicles Of A Seawoman: A Collection Of Poems

Julian Barnes
“That was another nice thing about my parents. There was none of that holding on to knowledge and power that some parents go in for. We were all adults together, on a plateau of equality.”
Julian Barnes, Pulse

Anne Tyler
“Last Christmas Daphne hadn't been born yet; nor had Fanny. Now here sat Daphne chewing a wad of blue tissue while Franny stirred her fists through Agatha's jigsaw puzzle. They both seemed so accustomed to being here. And Danny and Lucy had completely vanished . Something was wrong with a world where people came and went so easily.”
Anne Tyler, Saint Maybe

“In the following pages I shall apply the term "poisonous pedagogy" to this very complex endeavor. It will be clear from the context in question which of its many facets I am emphasizing at the moment. The specific facets can be derived directly from the preceding quotations from child-rearing manuals. These passages teach us that:

1. Adults are the masters (not the servants!) of the dependent child.

2. They determine in godlike fashion what is right and what is wrong.

3. The child is held responsible for their anger.

4. The parents must always be shielded.

5. The child's life affirming feelings pose a threat to the autocratic adult.

6. The child's will must be "broken" as soon as possible.

7. All this must happen at a very early age, so the child "won't notice" and will
therefore not be able to expose the adults.

The methods that can be used to suppress vital spontaneity in the child are: laying traps, lying, duplicity, subterfuge, manipulation, "scare" tactics, withdrawal of love, isolation, distrust, humiliating and disgracing the child, scorn, ridicule, and coercion even to the point of torture.”
Alice Miller, For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence

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