Abused Children Quotes

Quotes tagged as "abused-children" (showing 1-28 of 28)
C. Kennedy
“Abuse doesn't define you.”
C. Kennedy, Ómorphi

C. Kennedy
“There are tons of kids out there who endure chronic abuse and suffer in silence. They can’t trust anyone, they can’t tell anyone, and they have no idea how to get away from it.”
C. Kennedy, Ómorphi

C. Kennedy
“Don't try to be brave all at once. Take it in steps.”
C. Kennedy, Slaying Isidore's Dragons

“Abusive parents have inappropriate expectations of their children, with a reversal of dependence needs. Parents treat an abused child as if the child were older than the parents. A parent often turns to the child for reassurance, nurturing, comfort, and protection and expects a loving response.”
Benjamin James Sadock

Hanya Yanagihara
“He will experience that prickle, that shiver of disgust that afflicts him in both his happiest and most wretched moments, the one that asks him who he thinks he is to inconvenience so many people, to think he has the right to keep going when even his own body tells him he should stop.”
Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

“Escape from reality. In some instances, dissociation induces people to imagine that they have some kind of mastery over intractable environmental difficulties. Dissociation is often implicated in magical thinking or self-induced trance states. This aspect of dissociation is frequently found in abuse survivors. It is not uncommon for abused children to engage in magical thinking to retain an illusion of control over the situation (e.g., believing that they "cause" the perpetrator to act out).”
Marlene Steinberg

Antonella Gambotto-Burke
“Ninety-six per cent of juvenile prostitutes are fugitives from abusive domestic situations; 66 per cent began working before they turned 16. (Prostitution is their only perceived means of survival.) Millions of children work as prostitutes around the world. A third are male. One study revealed that over 50 per cent of prostitutes are the children of alcoholics or substance abusers, and 90 per cent are deflowered through incest or rape. Ninety-one per cent of prostitutes do not speak of the abuse. (The truth of life is told through the language of behavior.) Abused children suffer Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, guilt, self-destructive impulses, suspicion, fear. Seventy-five per cent of prostitutes attempt suicide. (Imagine their scrapbook of memories.)”
Antonella Gambotto-Burke, The Eclipse: A Memoir of Suicide

“It is a rare person who can cut himself off from mediate and immediate relations with others for long spaces of time without undergoing a deterioration in personality.”
Harry Stack Sullivan, The Interpersonal Theory of Psychiatry

Judith Lewis Herman
“In this climate of profoundly disrupted relationships the child faces a formidable developmental task. She must find a way to form primary attachments to caretakers who are either dangerous or, from her perspective, negligent. She must find a way to develop a sense of basic trust and safely with caretakers who are untrustworthy and unsafe. She must develop a sense of self in relation to others who are helpless, uncaring or cruel. She must develop a capacity for bodily self-regulation in an environinent in which her body is at the disposal of others' needs as well as a capacity for self-soothing in an environment without solace. She must develop the capacity for initiative in an environment which demands that she bring her will into complete conformity with that of her abuser. And ultimately, she must develop a capacity for intimacy out of an environment where all intimate relationships are corrupt, and an identity out of an environment which defines her as a whore and a slave.”
Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

Antonella Gambotto-Burke
“What does a woman feel when she is hit? My mother slapped me when I was a child - on two occasions, to the point of pure hysteria; I never liked it. Those who are humiliated in such a way learn to disintegrate – that is, they become once removed from pain. This is the most direct route to psychic ruin.”
Antonella Gambotto-Burke, The Eclipse: A Memoir of Suicide

Penelope Douglas
“That’s the thing about change.
It can be gradual. Slow and almost unnoticeable.
Or it can be sudden, and you don’t even know how you could’ve been any other way.
Becoming hard at heart isn’t an intersection in your brain where you have a choice to turn left or right. It’s coming to a dead end, and you just keep going, over the cliff, unable to stop the inevitable, because the truth is you just don’t want to.
There is freedom in the fall.”
Penelope Douglas, Until You

Bethany L. Brand
“Dissociative identity disorder is conceptualized as a childhood onset, posttraumatic developmental disorder in which the child is unable to consolidate a unified sense of self. Detachment from emotional and physical pain during trauma can result in alterations in memory encoding and storage. In turn, this leads to fragmentation and compartmentalization of memory and impairments in retrieving memory.2,4,19 Exposure to early, usually repeated trauma results in the creation of discrete behavioral states that can persist and, over later development, become elaborated, ultimately developing into the alternate identities of dissociative identity disorder.”
Bethany L. Brand

Kemi Sogunle
“Bullies do not just wake up and decide to be one. They are people who have or are experiencing emotional or verbal abuse. All you can do is not retaliate but show them love. Doing so, allows them see what they are missing and need. You can let them see the other side of life when you show love not hurt. After all, we are all products of love and we must choose to demonstrate that above all else.”
Kemi Sogunle

“For all those who believed me,
and for all those who didn't.
It can't be easy hearing
things that you shouldn't.”
Icarus X., Phoenix: My Attempt to Rise from the Ashes of Childhood Abuse

“He doesn’t hurt us anymore.”
Of course he doesn't hurt you anymore, I think. You're not defenseless anymore.”
Melanie O'Shea, Embers: A Memoir

“[Refers to 121 children taken into care in Cleveland due to suspected abuse (1987) and later returned to their parents]

Sue Richardson, the child abuse consultant at the heart of the crisis, watched as cases began to unravel:
“All the focus started to fall on the medical findings; other supportive evidence, mainly which we held in the social services department, started to be screened out. A situation developed where the cases either were proven or fell on the basis of medical evidence alone. Other evidence that was available to the court, very often then, never got put. We would have had statement from the child, the social workers and the child psychologist’s evidence from interviewing. We would have evidence of prior concerns, either from social workers or teachers, about the child’s behaviour or other symptoms that they might have been showing, which were completely aside from the medical findings. (Channel 4 1997)
Ten years after the Cleveland crisis, Sue Richardson was adamant that evidence relating to children’s safety was not presented to the courts which subsequently returned those children to their parents:
“I am saying that very clearly. In some cases, evidence was not put in the court. In other cases, agreements were made between lawyers not to put the case to the court at all, particularly as the crisis developed. Latterly, that children were sent home subject to informal agreements or agreements between lawyers. The cases never even got as far as the court. (Channel 4, 1997)”
Nor is Richardson alone. Jayne Wynne, one of the Leeds paediatricians who had pioneered the use of RAD as an indicator of sexual abuse and who subsequently had detailed knowledge of many of the Cleveland children, remains concerned by the haphazard approach of the courts to their protection.
I think the implication is that the children were left unprotected. The children who were being abused unfortunately returned to homes and the abuse may well have been ongoing. (Channel 4 1997)”
Heather Bacon, Creative Responses to Child Sexual Abuse: Challenges and Dilemmas

“But nothing in my previous work had prepared me for the experience of reinvestigating Cleveland. It is worth — given the passage of time — recalling the basic architecture of the Crisis: 121 children from many different and largely unrelated families had been taken into the care of Cleveland County Council in the three short months of the summer of 1987. (p18)

The key to resolving the puzzle of Cleveland was the children. What had actually happened to them? Had they been abused - or had the paediatricians and social workers (as public opinion held) been over-zealous and plain wrong? Curiously — particularly given its high profile, year-long sittings and £5 million cost — this was the one central issue never addressed by the Butler-Sloss judicial testimony and sifting of internal evidence, the inquiry's remit did not require it to answer the main question. Ten years after the crisis, my colleagues and I set about reconstructing the records of the 121 children at its heart to determine exactly what had happened to them... (p19)

Eventually, though, we did assemble the data given to the Butler-Sloss Inquiry. This divided into two categories: the confidential material, presented in camera, and the transcripts of public sessions of the hearings. Putting the two together we assembled our own database on the children each identified only by the code-letters assigned to them by Butler-Sloss.
When it was finished, this database told a startlingly different story from the public myth. In every case there was some prima fade evidence to suggest the possibility of abuse. Far from the media fiction of parents taking their children to Middlesbrough General Hospital for a tummy ache or a sore thumb and suddenly being presented with a diagnosis of child sexual abuse, the true story was of families known to social services for months or years, histories of physical and sexual abuse of siblings and of prior discussions with parents about these concerns. In several of the cases the children themselves had made detailed disclosures of abuse; many of the pre-verbal children displayed severe emotional or behavioural symptoms consistent with sexual abuse. There were even some families in which a convicted sex offender had moved in with mother and children. (p20)”
Sue Richardson, Creative Responses to Child Sexual Abuse: Challenges and Dilemmas

“Complexly traumatized children need to be helped to engage their attention in pursuits that do not remind them of trauma-related triggers and that give them a sense of pleasure and mastery. Safety, predictability, and "fun" are essential for the establishment of the capacity to observe what is going on, put it into a larger context, and initiate physiological and motoric self-regulation.”
Sarah Benamer, Trauma and Attachment

“Most kids act out because they want your attention. Don't spank your child show them some attention.”
Alcurtis Turner

Eskay Teel
“I'm still not sure if I was a victim or not... and if I was, who was my abuser?”
Eskay Teel, Alice in Worcestershire: Big girls don't cry

“...there is a particular focus of the problem faced only by men. It arises from our culture providing no room for a man as victim.”
Mike Lew, Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse

“...Cleveland was the first war over the protection of children to be fought not in the courts, but in the media...

Given that most of the hearings took place out of sight of the press, the following examples are taken from the recollection of child protection workers present in court. In one case, during a controversy that centred fundamentally around disputes over the meaning of RAD [reflex anal dilatation], a judge refused to allow ‘any evidence about children’s bottoms’ in his courtroom.

A second judge — hearing an application to have their children returned by parents about whom social services had grave worries told the assembled lawyers that, as she lived in the area, she could not help but be influenced by what she read in the press.
Hardly surprising then that child protection workers soon found courts not hearing their applications, cutting them short, or loosely supervising informal deals which allowed children to be sent back to parents, even in cases where there was explicit evidence of apparent abuse to be explained and dealt with. (p21)

[reflex anal dilatation (RAD): a simple clue which is suggestive of anal penetration from outside. It had been recognised as a valuable weapon in the armoury of doctors examining children for many decades and was endorsed by both the British Medical Association and the Association of Police Surgeons. (p18)]”
Sue Richardson, Creative Responses to Child Sexual Abuse: Challenges and Dilemmas

“I guess to their wide, innocent eyes it all seemed like normal family life because they had never known any different. In fact, I was the only one who had lived with anyone else, the only one that realized that life didn't have to be this terrifying and this painful all the time”
Joe Peters, Cry Silent Tears: The Horrific True Story of the Mute Little Boy in the Cellar

Michelle  Hartman
“A short poem from my new book, The Lost Journal of my Second Trip to Pergatory,

Thorny Crowns
Of course the gold one was for special occasions, weddings, etc,
silver for family reunions, office-casual type affairs.
Bronze was a everyday choice; during yard work its burnished surface shone in sunlight.
There were various colors and holiday appropriate ones.
I could never find the hatboxes they were stored in.
But the wooden one was reserved for the long suffering caused by family.
Stevie’s funeral, my hospital trips and sister’s rebellion rated real wood.
One tip filed extra sharp produced a fine and dramatic line of blood droplets on her brow.”
Michelle Hartman

“When you're little you believe whatever your mother tells you, so I assumed it must be true, that I must be inferior to the others in some way.”
Joe Peters, Cry Silent Tears: The Horrific True Story of the Mute Little Boy in the Cellar

“Mum was determinate to crush my spirit and put a stop to my behavior once and for all and she beat me up so violently, so often, that I finally understood I must never question her or so much as look at her directly again.”
Joe Peters

Trezza Azzopardi
“A scream.
Not from Rose, who has covered her mouth. Not from Fran, smothered beneath the weight of him. The sound stops Frankie. He crawls over his daughter's body to hide in the shadow of the wall. Fran staggers away. A moment passes before he follows her inside, ducking low as if the sky will fall and crush him. Rose is reminded of a chimpanzee at the circus.
In the kitchen, Frankie is rinsing the buckle under the cold tap. He doesn't look up, but he senses Rose at the door. He runs his finger along the brass tongue.
Fetch Dolores to me, is all he will say.
But she won't. She won't let him have her.”
Trezza Azzopardi, The Hiding Place

Trezza Azzopardi
“Quickly again, cracking the next toe and the next, while Luca squirms in pain and lashes out her other foot against her sister. Dolores moans and shifts over to the far edge of the bed. The hands are moist from this quick work. They can feel the tremble of shock rippling under the child's skin. And then a quiet laugh, a comforting sound, a nice sound even, as if this pain is a gift brought noiselessly to a favorite daughter in the safety of darkness. Kisses the arch of the foot where the skin is softest, covers it again with the blanket and goes away.”
Trezza Azzopardi, The Hiding Place