Abuse Recovery Quotes

Quotes tagged as "abuse-recovery" Showing 1-30 of 82
C. Kennedy
“Don't judge yourself by what others did to you.”
C. Kennedy, Ómorphi

Jeanne McElvaney
“You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren't alone.”
Jeanne McElvaney, Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children

“When a man starts my program, he often says, “I am here because I lose control of myself sometimes. I need to get a better grip.” I always correct him: "Your problem is not that you lose control of yourself, it’s that you take control of your partner. In order to change, you don’t need to gain control over yourself, you need to let go of control of her.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Jeanne McElvaney
“Survivors of abuse show us the strength of their personal spirit every time they smile.”
Jeanne McElvaney, Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children

Nathaniel Branden
“Some people stand and move as if they have no right to the space they occupy. They wonder why others often fail to treat them with respect--not realizing that they have signalled others that it is not necessary to treat them with respect.”
Nathaniel Branden, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

C. Kennedy
“Memories demand attention, and these memories will have teeth.”
C. Kennedy, Slaying Isidore's Dragons

Maureen  Brady
“Sometimes we self-sabotage just when things seem to be going smoothly. Perhaps this is a way to express our fear about whether it is okay for us to have a better life. We are bound to feel anxious as we leave behind old notions of our unworthiness. The challenge is not to be fearless, but to develop strategies of acknowledging our fears and finding out how we can allay them.”
Maureen Brady, Beyond Survival: A Writing Journey for Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse

“So for those who think abuse survivors can simply logically process their situation and get out of and over the situation easily, think again. The parts of our brain that deal with planning, cognition, learning, and decision-making become disconnected with the emotional parts of our brain – they can cease to talk to each other when an individual becomes traumatized. It usually takes a great deal of effort, resources, strength, validation, addressing wounding on all levels of body and mind, for a survivor to become fully empowered to begin to heal from this form of trauma.”
Shahida Arabi, Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself

“Dissociation leaves us disconnected from our memories, our identities and our emotions. It breaks the trauma into digestible components, so that different aspects of the trauma get stored in different compartments in our brain. What happens as a result is that the information from the trauma becomes disorganized and we are not able to integrate these pieces into a coherent narrative and process trauma fully until, hopefully, with the help of a validating, trauma-informed counselor who guides us to the appropriate therapies best suited to our needs, we confront the trauma and triggers in a safe place.”
Shahida Arabi, Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself

“Abusers – they’ll manipulate and they’ll lie to you.
And when you no longer give them that power, they’ll try to manipulate your family or the people close to you instead. Abusers want everyone to hate you just as much as they do. It’s sick.
Their lack of morals and integrity is sick. The amount of hate they harbor in their hearts is sick,
as are their psychopathic or sociopathic traits.”
LaTasha “Tacha B.” Braxton

Jude Gibbs
“Grief does not demand pity; It requests acknowledgement" - Jude Gibbs”
Jude Gibbs, Gifts from the Ashes: Hope in Jesus for Bereaved Parents

C. Kennedy
“Psychological and emotional wellness is an ongoing process for everyone.”
C. Kennedy, Ómorphi

C. Kennedy
“It is strange... the reasons one feels he doesn't deserve things.”
C. Kennedy, Slaying Isidore's Dragons

Lorraine Nilon
“Abuse is never deserved, it is an exploitation of innocence and physical disadvantage, which is perceived as an opportunity by the abuser.”
Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence: A respectful exploration into the ramifications of Paedophilic abuse

Maybe I needed that somebody else could cry over my pain, to become able to cry over it myself. Nobody ever cried or was moved when I suffered as a child. (Lisa)”
Giovanni Liotti

Lorraine Nilon
“When you feel at sea in an abyss of emotions, reconnecting to the beauty of your soul can be difficult, but it is never impossible.”
Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence: A respectful exploration into the ramifications of Paedophilic abuse

Kayla Krantz
“No matter what, the day didn't feel like Christmas to her.

She remembered years ago, when she had been just a little kid, and the word had been enough to make her happy. Nothing stirred in her now. Her childhood felt like it had been in another life. As she sat alone in her room with tears drying to her face, she resolved that no matter what the calendar said, it wasn't Christmas.

If it was, she'd feel happy, not depressed.”
Kayla Krantz, Survive at Midnight

Eskay Teel
“I'm still not sure if I was a victim or not... and if I was, who was my abuser?”
Eskay Teel, Alice in Worcestershire: Big girls don't cry

“DID survivors are failed twice: once at the initial point of their abuse/trauma and again when the system fails to acknowledge their needs, even doubting their diagnosis if they have been fortunate enough to obtain one. This cannot be right in the twenty-first century.”
Joan Coleman

“It doesn't matter how rich or poor a person is, what gender or social class, or how much fame or education she possesses. Verbal, mental, and physical abuse can happen to anyone. It doesn't matter what a woman’s ethnicity is because the only distinguishing color of abuse is black-and-blue.”
La Toya Jackson, Starting Over

Kris Kidd
“I love like a beaten child and I trust like an addict.”
Kris Kidd, Down for Whatever

“Attitudes and ignorance” about (any type of) abuse can be passed down through the generations. It is important to our healing that we sort out the belief systems we adopt; belief systems that were taught to us and because they are so full of lies, they lead to all kinds of depressions, addictions and other struggles while we try to cope with the manifestations of the problems instead of the roots of the problems.”
Darlene Ouimet

“Staying in an abusive relationship for the fear of public judgment is like allowing to be buried alive to impress a coffin maker”
Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

Patricia Dsouza
“I am who I am today due to my childhood abuse, I am a Survivor”
Patricia Dsouza

“... you may seek out a partner who psychologically resembles your mother and found that you have walked right back into a difficult relationship. Perhapse you chose to be close to someone who turns out to be as volatile as your mother and who inflicts discomfort all too familiar to you. Or perhaps gradually, over time, your partner or close friend becomes like your mother; that may be because you unconsciously behave in ways that encourage others to treat you as your mother did.”
Terri Apter, Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power

“As Freud noted: "A thing which has not been understood inevitably reappears; like an unlaid ghost, it cannot rest until the mystery has been resolved and the spell broken." . . . in ambivalent attachment, a mother vacillates inexplicably from being loving and tender to angry and threatening.. Faced with this unpredictable inconsistency, a child tries to appease the mother, anxious to control and monitor her shifting moods.”
Terri Apter, Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power

“Finally, I found that as a result of my abusive childhood I had developed the ability to deny my feeling, intuitive self. As a child this ability kept me alive. I was powerless, small & inexperienced. It was critical that I behave according to expectations--that I not resist my father's violence, that I cast my eyes downward in a posture of guilt, & that I accept my elders' view of reality...My childhood patterns fed into the mounting abuse--it did NOT cause it. This pattern does not make me responsible for Amy's violent & abusive behavior.”
Kerry Lobel

“Staying in a relationship with someone who doesn't love him/herself, is a direct reflection of how much you love and value yourself.”
Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

C.J. Fallowfield
“You're gay. I'm safe with you. Castle's not."
"(...) But me being gay doesn't make you safe in my company, Alex. Me choosing not to hurt you makes you safe. Gay, bi or straight, it doesn't matter, it's about respect for another human being and making the choice not to commit violence against them.”
C.J. Fallowfield, Inescapable

Mina Rehman
“Even though she looks the same as she always has, and the world goes on the way it always has, she isn’t the same on the inside. It’s as though she’s been paused on a single day, a single moment, as though she is stale, slowly rotting on the inside. It scares her, this standstill. There are days she wishes she’d corrode faster, until nothing is left. Those days are the worst, yet still somehow better than the ones in which she wants everything to go back to the way it was.”
Mina Rehman, Women Who Slay Women

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