Abuse Recovery Quotes

Quotes tagged as "abuse-recovery" Showing 1-30 of 93
C. Kennedy
“Don't judge yourself by what others did to you.”
C. Kennedy, Ómorphi

Jeanne McElvaney
“You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren't alone.”
Jeanne McElvaney, Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children

Lundy Bancroft
“When a man starts my program, he often says, “I am here because I lose control of myself sometimes. I need to get a better grip.” I always correct him: "Your problem is not that you lose control of yourself, it’s that you take control of your partner. In order to change, you don’t need to gain control over yourself, you need to let go of control of her.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Jeanne McElvaney
“Survivors of abuse show us the strength of their personal spirit every time they smile.”
Jeanne McElvaney, Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children

Nathaniel Branden
“Some people stand and move as if they have no right to the space they occupy. They wonder why others often fail to treat them with respect--not realizing that they have signalled others that it is not necessary to treat them with respect.”
Nathaniel Branden, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

Augusten Burroughs
“Having one's mother or father or past abuser admit to their crimes or even apologize for them changes nothing--certainly not what they did. Rather, such an apology would give you the psychological permission to "move on" with your life.

But you do not need anybody's permisson to move on with your life.

It does not matter whether or not those responsible for harming you ever understand what they did, care about what they did, or apologize for it.

It does not matter.

All that matters is your ability to stop fondling the experience with your brain. Which you can do right now.”
Augusten Burroughs, This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.

C. Kennedy
“Memories demand attention, and these memories will have teeth.”
C. Kennedy, Slaying Isidore's Dragons

Jeanne McElvaney
“You can recognize survivors by their creativity. In soulful, insightful, gentle, and nurturing creations, they often express the inner beauty they brought out of childhood storms.”
Jeanne McElvaney, Childhood Abuse: Tips to Change Child Abuse Effects

C. Kennedy
“It is strange... the reasons one feels he doesn't deserve things.”
C. Kennedy, Slaying Isidore's Dragons

Maureen  Brady
“Sometimes we self-sabotage just when things seem to be going smoothly. Perhaps this is a way to express our fear about whether it is okay for us to have a better life. We are bound to feel anxious as we leave behind old notions of our unworthiness. The challenge is not to be fearless, but to develop strategies of acknowledging our fears and finding out how we can allay them.”
Maureen Brady, Beyond Survival: A Writing Journey for Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse

C. Kennedy
“Psychological and emotional wellness is an ongoing process for everyone.”
C. Kennedy, Ómorphi

Maybe I needed that somebody else could cry over my pain, to become able to cry over it myself. Nobody ever cried or was moved when I suffered as a child. (Lisa)”
Giovanni Liotti

Kayla Krantz
“No matter what, the day didn't feel like Christmas to her.

She remembered years ago, when she had been just a little kid, and the word had been enough to make her happy. Nothing stirred in her now. Her childhood felt like it had been in another life. As she sat alone in her room with tears drying to her face, she resolved that no matter what the calendar said, it wasn't Christmas.

If it was, she'd feel happy, not depressed.”
Kayla Krantz, Survive at Midnight

“We can't start over again, and it wouldn't "be perfect" if we could. We can only continue.”
Theodore Isaac Rubin, Compassion and Self Hate: An Alternative to Despair

Trista Mateer
“My pain has always deserved a voice and I will not deny it that, but I won't devote my life to it either.”
Trista Mateer, Aphrodite Made Me Do It

Carmen Maria Machado
“And as the ground gets farther and farther away you swear to yourself that you're going to tell someone how bad it is, you're gonna stop pretending like none of these things are happening, but by the time the ground is coming toward you again you are already polishing your story.”
Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

Jyoti Patel
“No matter
how strong you are
as a person
loving a weak man
is like
sucking the blood
out of your body
drop by drop
by your own lips
- abusive relations”

John Mark Green
“Be a pain transformer,
not a pain transmitter.
This is the only way
the world will heal.”
John Mark Green

“In a state of grace with myself, I do not abandon myself when the going gets tough or should others find me antithetical in any way in their frames of reference. Loyalty means care and kindness at all times, and particularly when they are needed to reduce the pain of difficult times. I never, absolutely never, side with anyone who is against my welfare. I aid nobody who detracts from my dignity, who makes me feel less than human either through subhuman onslaughts or superhuman demands. I fight or avoid people whose effect is ultimately destructive to my validity as a person, or who in any way dilute my ability to take myself seriously.”
Theodore Isaac Rubin

Lorraine Nilon
“Soul Abuse is the destruction of a victim's awareness of the strength within their soul. It stems from the abuser's intention to corrupt another's understanding of their own significance.  ”
Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence: A respectful exploration into the ramifications of paedophilic abuse

“Walking away from someone you love is not an immoral thing. If that person isn’t good for your wellbeing in any way, it’s important to step away from that relationship.”
Arien Smith

“DID survivors are failed twice: once at the initial point of their abuse/trauma and again when the system fails to acknowledge their needs, even doubting their diagnosis if they have been fortunate enough to obtain one. This cannot be right in the twenty-first century.”
Joan Coleman

“Finally, I found that as a result of my abusive childhood I had developed the ability to deny my feeling, intuitive self. As a child this ability kept me alive. I was powerless, small & inexperienced. It was critical that I behave according to expectations--that I not resist my father's violence, that I cast my eyes downward in a posture of guilt, & that I accept my elders' view of reality...My childhood patterns fed into the mounting abuse--it did NOT cause it. This pattern does not make me responsible for Amy's violent & abusive behavior.”
Kerry Lobel

“It doesn't matter how rich or poor a person is, what gender or social class, or how much fame or education she possesses. Verbal, mental, and physical abuse can happen to anyone. It doesn't matter what a woman’s ethnicity is because the only distinguishing color of abuse is black-and-blue.”
La Toya Jackson, Starting Over

Mina Rehman
“Even though she looks the same as she always has, and the world goes on the way it always has, she isn’t the same on the inside. It’s as though she’s been paused on a single day, a single moment, as though she is stale, slowly rotting on the inside. It scares her, this standstill. There are days she wishes she’d corrode faster, until nothing is left. Those days are the worst, yet still somehow better than the ones in which she wants everything to go back to the way it was.”
Mina Rehman, Women Who Slay Women

C.J. Fallowfield
“You're gay. I'm safe with you. Castle's not."
"(...) But me being gay doesn't make you safe in my company, Alex. Me choosing not to hurt you makes you safe. Gay, bi or straight, it doesn't matter, it's about respect for another human being and making the choice not to commit violence against them.”
C.J. Fallowfield, Inescapable

Benny Woith
“Before you entered my body clear
and removed yourself bloody.
But I can recreate new blood,
that is the beauty of the body.”
Benny Woith, vast.

Alex Beecroft
“The right to say no was a right he ought to exercise if he wanted his yes to mean something.”
Alex Beecroft, Blue Steel Chain

Jyoti Patel
“Adjusting her red gown
she stared at the ceiling
with tears flowing down
her face, the white bed sheet
soon turned to red
with the drops of her wild
blood dripping down
her legs
- The dark nights (marital rape)”

Leah Horlick
“This is how I know I believe
my own story—that even when I think

a part of me should still love you, even
a little, I want the world to burn before

you come close to anyone I love again,
even with your kind self.”
Leah Horlick, For Your Own Good

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