Phoenix N. > Phoenix's Quotes

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  • #1
    Christopher Moore
    “Blessed are the dumbfucks.”
    Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

  • #2
    Christopher Moore
    “Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.”
    Christopher Moore, A Dirty Job

  • #3
    Christopher Moore
    “There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon.”
    Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

  • #4
    Christopher Moore
    “If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.”
    Christopher Moore, Practical Demonkeeping

  • #5
    Christopher Moore
    “People, generally, suck.”
    Christopher Moore, The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror

  • #6
    Christopher Moore
    “The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.”
    Christopher Moore

  • #7
    Christopher Moore
    “Science, you don't know, looks like magic.”
    Christopher Moore

  • #8
    Christopher Moore
    “You're trying to be tricky. What's morality?"
    "It's the difference between what's right and what you can rationalize."
    "Must be a human thing."
    "Exactly.”
    Christopher Moore

  • #9
    Christopher Moore
    “Charlie Asher: I accidently shagged a monk last night.
    Minty Fresh: Sometimes, in times of crisis, that shit cannot be avoided.”
    Christopher Moore, A Dirty Job

  • #10
    Christopher Moore
    “Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.”
    Christopher Moore

  • #11
    Christopher Moore
    “The Emperor decided to make a proclamation to his troops about the importance of compassion in the face of the rising tide of heinous fuckery and political weaselocity in the nearby kingdom of the United States.”
    Christopher Moore, A Dirty Job

  • #12
    Christopher Moore
    “I've tried to get the angel to watch MTV so I can learn the vocabulary of your music, but even with the gift of tongues, I'm having trouble learning to speak hip-hop. Why is it that one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere but you must busta cap in someone's ass? Is "ho" always feminine, and "muthafucka" always masculine, while "bitch" can be either? How many peeps in a posse, how much booty before baby got back, do you have to be all that to get all up in that, and do I need to be dope and phat to be da bomb or can I just be "stupid"? I'll not be singing over any dead mothers until I understand.”
    Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

  • #13
    Christopher Moore
    “Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.”
    Christopher Moore

  • #14
    Christopher Moore
    “OMFGEIGHTPOUNDBABYJESUSONAPOGOSTICK WHAT?”
    Christopher Moore
    tags: humor

  • #15
    Christopher Moore
    “Charlie noted that more and more lately, he had a hard time resisting the urge to fuck with people, especially when they insisted upon behaving like idiots.”
    Christopher Moore, A Dirty Job

  • #16
    Christopher Moore
    “Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both.”
    Christopher Moore, A Dirty Job



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