Shass > Shass's Quotes

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  • #1
    Neil Gaiman
    “Honestly, if you're given the choice between Armageddon or tea, you don't say 'what kind of tea?”
    Neil Gaiman

  • #2
    C.S. Lewis
    “You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.”
    C.S. Lewis

  • #3
    Aprilynne Pike
    “As far as her mom was concerned, tea fixed everything. Have a cold? Have some tea. Broken bones? There's a tea for that too. Somewhere in her mother's pantry, Laurel suspected, was a box of tea that said, 'In case of Armageddon, steep three to five minutes'.”
    Aprilynne Pike, Illusions

  • #4
    William Ewart Gladstone
    “If you are cold, tea will warm you;
    if you are too heated, it will cool you;
    If you are depressed, it will cheer you;
    If you are excited, it will calm you.”
    William Ewart Gladstone
    tags: tea

  • #5
    Jasper Fforde
    “Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.”
    Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

  • #6
    Gary Snyder
    “There are those who love to get dirty and fix things. They drink coffee at dawn, beer after work. And those who stay clean, just appreciate things. At breakfast they have milk and juice at night. There are those who do both, they drink tea.”
    Gary Snyder

  • #7
    David Levithan
    “She raised her hand to cut me off. "I am aware of your epistolary flirtation. Which is all well and good--as long as it's well and good. Before I ask you some questions, perhaps you would like some tea?"

    "That would depend on what kind of tea you were offering."

    "So diffident! Suppose it was Earl Grey."

    I shook my head. "Tastes like pencil shavings."

    "Lady Grey."

    "I don't drink beverages named after beheaded monarchs. It seems so tacky."

    "Chamomile?"

    "Might as well sip butterfly wings."

    "Green tea?"

    "You can't be serious."

    The old woman nodded her approval. "I wasn't."

    "Because you know when a cow chews grass? And he or she chews and chews and chews? Well, green tea tastes like French-kissing that cow after it's done chewing all that grass."

    "Would you like some mint tea?"

    "Only under duress."

    "English breakfast."

    I clapped my hands. "Now you're talking!”
    David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares
    tags: tea

  • #8
    David Walliams
    “In Britain, a cup of tea is the answer to every problem.
    Fallen off your bicycle? Nice cup of tea.
    Your house has been destroyed by a meteorite? Nice cup of tea and a biscuit.
    Your entire family has been eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex that has travelled through a space/time portal? Nice cup of tea and a piece of cake. Possibly a savoury option would be welcome here too, for example a Scotch egg or a sausage roll.”
    David Walliams, Mr Stink

  • #9
    Carol Ann Duffy
    “I like pouring your tea, lifting
    the heavy pot, and tipping it up,
    so the fragrant liquid streams in your china cup.

    Or when you’re away, or at work,
    I like to think of your cupped hands as you sip,
    as you sip, of the faint half-smile of your lips.

    I like the questions – sugar? – milk? –
    and the answers I don’t know by heart, yet,
    for I see your soul in your eyes, and I forget.

    Jasmine, Gunpowder, Assam, Earl Grey, Ceylon,
    I love tea’s names. Which tea would you like? I say
    but it’s any tea for you, please, any time of day,

    as the women harvest the slopes
    for the sweetest leaves, on Mount Wu-Yi,
    and I am your lover, smitten, straining your tea.

    - Tea
    Carol Ann Duffy, Rapture
    tags: tea

  • #10
    Jonathan Stroud
    “Making tea is a ritual that stops the world from falling in on you.”
    Jonathan Stroud, The Creeping Shadow
    tags: tea

  • #11
    James Boswell
    “I am so fond of tea that I could write a whole dissertation on its virtues. It comforts and enlivens without the risks attendant on spirituous liquors. Gentle herb! Let the florid grape yield to thee. Thy soft influence is a more safe inspirer of social joy.”
    James Boswell, London Journal, 1762-1763
    tags: tea

  • #12
    Frank McCourt
    “No one is so busy they can't take time to make a decent cup of tea and if you are that busy you don't deserve a decent cup of tea for what is it all about anyway? Are we put in this world to be busy or to chat over a nice cup of tea?”
    Frank McCourt, 'Tis A Memoir
    tags: tea

  • #13
    Terry Pratchett
    “Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
    Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

  • #14
    Terry Pratchett
    “Multiple exclamation marks,' he went on, shaking his head, 'are a sure sign of a diseased mind.”
    Terry Pratchett, Eric

  • #15
    Terry Pratchett
    “We're dealing here," said Vimes, "With a twisted mind."
    "Oh, no! You think so?"
    "Yes."
    "But... no... you can't be right. Because Nobby was with us all the time."
    "Not Nobby," said Vimes testily. "Whatever he might do to a dragon, I doubt if he'd make it explode. There's stranger people in this world than Corporal Nobbs, my lad."
    Carrot's expression slid into a rictus of intrigued horror.
    "Gosh," he said.”
    Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms: The Play

  • #16
    Terry Pratchett
    “Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book.”
    Terry Pratchett, Soul Music

  • #17
    Terry Pratchett
    “The world rides through space on the back of a turtle. This is one of the great ancient world myths, found wherever men and turtles were gathered together; the four elephants were an Indo-European sophistication. The idea has been lying in the lumber rooms of legend for centuries. All I had to do was grab it and run away before the alarms went off.

    There are no maps. You can't map a sense of humour. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs.”
    Terry Pratchett

  • #18
    Terry Pratchett
    “It had, however, been declared by his own physician to be a case of natural causes. Bentzen had gone to see the man and explained that falling down a flight of steps with a dagger in your back was a disease caused by an unwise opening of the mouth.”
    Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters

  • #19
    Terry Pratchett
    “She knew a cutting, incisive, withering and above all a self-evident answer existed. It was just that, to her extreme annoyance, she couldn't quite bring it to mind.”
    Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

  • #20
    Terry Pratchett
    “HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM.”
    Terry Pratchett

  • #21
    Terry Pratchett
    “HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE." Or, from the very next page, "YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?”
    Terry Pratchett

  • #22
    Terry Pratchett
    “I HAVE MADE THIS FOR YOU.
    She reached out and took a damp square of cardboard. Water dripped off the bottom. Somewhere in the middle, a few brown feathers seemed to have been glued on.
    'Thank you. Er ... what is it?'
    ALBERT SAID THERE OUGHT TO BE SNOW ON IT, BUT IT APPEARS TO HAVE MELTED, said Death. IT IS, OF COURSE, A HOGSWATCH CARD.
    'Oh ...'
    THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A ROBIN ON IT AS WELL, BUT I HAD CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY IN GETTING IT TO STAY ON.
    'Ah...'
    IT WAS NOT AT ALL COOPERATIVE.
    'Really ...?'
    IT DID NOT SEEM TO GET INTO THE HOGSWATCH SPIRIT AT ALL.”
    Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

  • #23
    Terry Pratchett
    “I'm your worst nightmare!' said Teatime cheerfully.
    The man shuddered.
    'You mean ... the one with the giant cabbage and the sort of whirring knife thing?'
    'Sorry?' Teatime looked momentarily nonplussed.
    'Then you're the one where I'm falling, only instead of the ground underneath it's all --'
    'No. In fact I'm --'
    The guard sagged. 'Awww, not the one where there's all this kind of, you know, mud and then everything goes blue --'
    'No, I'm --'
    'Oh, shit, then you're the one where there's this door only there's no floor beyond it and then there's these claws --'
    'No,' said Teatime. 'Not that one.' He withdrew a dagger from his sleeve. 'I'm the one where this man comes out of nowhere and kills you, stone dead.”
    Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

  • #24
    Terry Pratchett
    “Vimes woke in damp and utter darkness with sand under his cheek. Some parts of his body reported for duty, others protested that they had a note from their mother.”
    Terry Pratchett, Snuff

  • #25
    Terry Pratchett
    “Firstly,” said Ponder, “Mr Pessimal wants to know what we do here.”
    “Do? We are the premier college of magic!” said Ridcully.
    “But do we teach?”
    “Only if no alternative presents itself,” said the Dean. “We show ‘em where the library is, give ‘em a few little chats, and graduate the survivors. If they run into any problems, my door is always metaphorically open.”
    “Metaphorically, sir?” said Ponder.
    “Yes. But technically, of course, it’s locked.”
    “Explain to him that we don’t do things, Stibbons,” said the Lecturer in Recent Runes. “We are academics.”
    Terry Pratchett, A Blink of the Screen: Collected Shorter Fiction

  • #26
    Terry Pratchett
    “He sat back and drank the really horrible tea the dwarfs made. Just for a moment there was an unusual feeling on bliss. Strange word, he thought. It's one of those words that described something that does not make a noise but if it did make a noise would sound just like that. Bliss. It's like the sound of a soft meringue melting gently on a warm plate.”
    Terry Pratchett, The Truth

  • #27
    Terry Pratchett
    “Look down, your grace," said Skimmer. "Mhm, mhm."

    Vimes realized he could feel the faintest prick of a knife blade on his stomach. "Look down further," he said.

    Inigo looked down. He swallowed. Vimes had a knife, too. "You really are no gentleman, then," he said.

    "Make a sudden move and neither are you," said Vimes.”
    Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

  • #28
    Terry Pratchett
    “It was funny how people were people everywhere you went, even if the people concerned weren't the people the people who made up the phrase "people are people everywhere" had traditionally thought of as people.”
    Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

  • #29
    Terry Pratchett
    “Have - have you got an appointment?' he said.
    'I don't know,' said Carrot. 'Have we got an appointment?'
    'I've got an iron ball with spikes on,' Nobby volunteered.
    'That's a morningstar, Nobby.'
    'Is it?'
    'Yes,' said Carrot. 'An appointment is an engagement to see someone, while a morningstar is a large lump of metal used for viciously crushing skulls. It is important not to confuse the two, isn't it, Mr-?' He raised his eyebrows.
    'Boffo, sir. But-'
    'So if you could perhaps run along and tell Dr Whiteface we're here with an iron ball with spi- What am I saying? I mean, without an appointment to see him? Please? Thank you.”
    Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

  • #30
    Terry Pratchett
    “The commander went, as they say in Ankh-Morpork, totally Librarian on them.”
    Terry Pratchett, Raising Steam



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