Shreya > Shreya's Quotes

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  • #1
    Sarah Rees Brennan
    “I cook better than you," Nick corrected absently. "I think monkeys can probably be taught to cook better than you."
    "I'd like to have a monkey that cooked for me," said Jamie. " I would pay him in bananas. His name would be Alphonse."
    "I agree, that would be awesome." Mae said. "People would come for dinner just to see the monkey chef."
    "You're raving," Nick said, defrosting chicken in the microwave. Mae was a bit impressed with how he seemed to look at the appliance and instantly comprehend its mysteries, when she'd been heating up ready-made meals for years by a method of pressing random buttons and hoping. " I know that's the only way Jamie communicates with people, but I expected better of you, Mavis."
    "We're cutting out the whole Mavis thing right now, Nick," Mae said warningly.
    "How many bananas would be good payment for a monkey?" Jamie wanted to know. " I would want to pay Alphonse a fair wage.”
    Sarah Rees Brennan, The Demon's Covenant

  • #2
    Jim Butcher
    “We have now left Reason and Sanity Junction. Next stop, Looneyville.”
    Jim Butcher, Grave Peril

  • #3
    Jim Butcher
    “Jobs are a part of life. Maybe you've heard of the concept. It's called work? See, what happens is that you suffer through doing annoying and humiliating things until you get paid not enough money. Like those Japanese game shows, only without all the glory.”
    Jim Butcher, Blood Rites

  • #4
    Emilie Autumn
    “I am my heart’s undertaker. Daily I go and retrieve its tattered remains, place them delicately into its little coffin, and bury it in the depths of my memory, only to have to do it all again tomorrow.”
    Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls

  • #5
    David Foster Wallace
    “Mario, what do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?"

    "I give."

    "You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog.”
    David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest

  • #6
    Jessica Valenti
    “What’s the worst possible thing you can call a woman? Don’t hold back, now.
    You’re probably thinking of words like slut, whore, bitch, cunt (I told you not to hold back!), skank.
    Okay, now, what are the worst things you can call a guy? Fag, girl, bitch, pussy. I’ve even heard the term “mangina.”
    Notice anything? The worst thing you can call a girl is a girl. The worst thing you can call a guy is a girl. Being a woman is the ultimate insult. Now tell me that’s not royally fucked up.”
    Jessica Valenti, Full Frontal Feminism

  • #7
    Charles Bukowski
    “An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way.”
    Charles Bukowski

  • #8
    Jessica Valenti
    “...idea at play here is that of “morality.” When young women are taught about morality, there’s not often talk of compassion, kindness, courage, or integrity. There is, however, a lot of talk about hymens”
    Jessica Valenti, The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women

  • #9
    Jessica Valenti
    “For women especially, virginity has become the easy answer- the morality quick fix. You can be vapid, stupid, and unethical, but so long as you've never had sex, you're a "good" (i.e. "moral) girl and therefore worthy of praise.”
    Jessica Valenti, The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women

  • #10
    Jessica Valenti
    “What’s the difference between venerating women for being fuckable and putting them on a purity pedestal? In both cases, women’s worth is contingent upon their ability to please men and to shape their sexual identities around what men want.”
    Jessica Valenti, The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women

  • #11
    Jessica Valenti
    “Girls “going wild” aren’t damaging a generation of women, the myth of sexual purity is. The lie of virginity—the idea that such a thing even exists—is ensuring that young women’s perception of themselves is inextricable from their bodies, and that their ability to be moral actors is absolutely dependent on their sexuality. It’s time to teach our daughters that their ability to be good people depends on their being good people , not on whether or not they’re sexually active…so while young women are subject to overt sexual messages everyday, they’re simultaneously being taught—by the people who are supposed to care for their personal and moral development, no less—that their only real worth is their virginity and ability to remain “pure”.”
    Jessica Valenti, The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women

  • #12
    Jessica Valenti
    “As different as we all are, there’s one thing most young women have in common: We’re all brought up to feel like there’s something wrong with us. We’re too fat. We’re dumb. We’re too smart. We’re not ladylike enough - ‘stop cursing, chewing with your mouth open, speaking your mind’. We’re too slutty. We’re not slutty enough.
    Fuck that.
    You’re not too fat. You’re not too loud. You’re not too smart. You’re not unladylike. There is nothing wrong with you.”
    Jessica Valenti, Full Frontal Feminism

  • #13
    Jessica Valenti
    “If your husband is cheating on you, it doesn't mean that you need to get prettier -- it means he's a scumbag.”
    Jessica Valenti, Full Frontal Feminism

  • #14
    Jessica Valenti
    “Do you think it is fair that guy will make more money doing the same job as you? Does it piss you off and scare you when you find out about your friends getting raped? Do you ever feel like shit about your body? Do you ever feel like something is weong with you because you don't fit into this bizarre ideal of what girls are supposed to be like? Well, my friend, I hate to break it to you, but you're hardcore feminist. I swear.”
    Jessica Valenti, Full Frontal Feminism

  • #15
    Margaret Cho
    “These days, I strive to be a bitch, because not being one sucks. Not being a bitch means not having your voice heard. Not being a bitch means you agree with all the bullshit. Not being a bitch means you don't appreciate all the other bitches who have come before you. Not being a bitch means since Eve ate that apple, we will forever have to pay for her bitchiness with complacence, obedience, acceptance, closed eyes, and opened legs.”
    Margaret Cho, Bitchfest: Ten Years of Cultural Criticism from the Pages of Bitch Magazine

  • #16
    Charles Bukowski
    “There is a loneliness in this world so great that you can see it in the slow movement of the hands of a clock.”
    Charles Bukowski, Love Is a Dog from Hell

  • #17
    “A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other...Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever”
    Dave Matthews Band

  • #18
    Taylor Swift
    “I suffer from girlnextdooritis where the guy is friends with you and that's it.”
    Taylor Swift

  • #19
    Candace Bushnell
    “Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”
    Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City

  • #20
    Jarod Kintz
    “I think the key indicator for wealth is not good grades, work ethic, or IQ. I believe it's relationships. Ask yourself two questions: How many people do I know, and how much ransom money could I get for each one?”
    Jarod Kintz

  • #21
    Kristan Higgins
    “I'm at a bar with a woman! So there, you disgusting whore! And I'm going to take her back to our house and I'm going to have sex with her!" His voice grew louder and louder, cracking with an intensity. "That's right! On the couch, in our bed, on the kitchen floor, on the goddamn kitchen table! How do you like that, you cheating, miserable skank?" Then he flipped his phone shut, looked at me and smiled. "So where were we?" he asked pleasantly.”
    Kristan Higgins, Too Good to Be True

  • #22
    Kristan Higgins
    “Here's the thing, Grace," Cal said, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "Ever since that first day when you smacked me in the head with your field hockey stick-"

    "You just can't let that go, can you?" I muttered.

    He grinned fully now. "-and even when you hit me with the rake and dented my truck, and when you were spying on me from your attic and your dog was mauling me, Grace, I always knew you were the one for me.”
    Kristan Higgins, Too Good to Be True

  • #23
    Shel Silverstein
    “I cannot go to school today"
    Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
    "I have the measles and the mumps,
    A gash, a rash and purple bumps.

    My mouth is wet, my throat is dry.
    I'm going blind in my right eye.
    My tonsils are as big as rocks,
    I've counted sixteen chicken pox.

    And there's one more - that's seventeen,
    And don't you think my face looks green?
    My leg is cut, my eyes are blue,
    It might be the instamatic flu.

    I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
    I'm sure that my left leg is broke.
    My hip hurts when I move my chin,
    My belly button's caving in.

    My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
    My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
    My toes are cold, my toes are numb,

    I have a sliver in my thumb.

    My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
    I hardly whisper when I speak.
    My tongue is filling up my mouth,

    I think my hair is falling out.

    My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
    My temperature is one-o-eight.
    My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,

    There's a hole inside my ear.

    I have a hangnail, and my heart is ...
    What? What's that? What's that you say?
    You say today is .............. Saturday?

    G'bye, I'm going out to play!”
    Shel Silverstein

  • #24
    Gena Showalter
    “Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date.
    1. You're wearing that?
    2. Something smells funny.
    3. Where's the Tylenol?
    4. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother.
    5. I have a confession to make…
    6. My dad has a suit just like that.
    7. That man is hot. Look at him.
    8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever…
    9. You're going to order that? Seriously?
    10. You're how old?”
    Gena Showalter, Animal Instincts

  • #25
    Gena Showalter
    “What's that smell?"
    I froze. What? Did I really smell so distasteful he had only to lean in my direction to catch a putrid whiff of me? I stayed the urge to break his freaking nose for pointing out my stinkiness.
    He sniffed again. "I can't place it."
    "How bad is it?" I asked, my cheeks heating.
    "It's good. Some kind of flower."
    My first thought: Hurray! I don't stink.
    My second: Ohmygod!”
    Gena Showalter, Animal Instincts
    tags: humor

  • #26
    Dan Bergstein
    “After swimming to France, Carlisle went to some universities, where he fell in love with medicine. He believed that by helping sick people, he could make up for some of the horrible things vampires have done. Maybe this is why Angelina Jolie adopts all those kids! It all makes sense. She must be a vampire. She has the sexy good looks, the overly dramatic attitude, and I've never seen her sleep or eat. Case closed.”
    Dan Bergstein

  • #27
    Dan Bergstein
    “I like the idea of Warrior Flitwick running to save the day by screaming, "Let's do some charm harm, my snitches!”
    Dan Bergstein

  • #28
    Sylvia Plath
    “Mad Girl's Love Song

    I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
    I lift my lids and all is born again.
    (I think I made you up inside my head.)

    The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
    And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
    I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

    I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
    And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
    (I think I made you up inside my head.)

    God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
    Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
    I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

    I fancied you'd return the way you said,
    But I grow old and I forget your name.
    (I think I made you up inside my head.)

    I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
    At least when spring comes they roar back again.
    I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
    (I think I made you up inside my head.)”
    Sylvia Plath

  • #29
    Sylvia Plath
    “I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between.”
    Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

  • #30
    Sylvia Plath
    “I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.”
    Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

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