“-Good thing you don’t own a mirror, Mr. Mirrorless, or you’d see how ugly you are.

-What makes you think I don’t own a mirror? Every face that ever looks at me tells me that I’m ugly. But every time I make them laugh, I get to show them what beauty really is.

-I see what you mean. Here, take my rearview mirror. I don’t need to carry it around like a vagina on a rope anymore.

-Mr. Thrustsalone, you don’t need to drag a vagina on a rope like some kind of pet on a leash to make you happy. There’s a reason why God invented right hands and hookers.

-Why, so politicians could have more productive ways to spend their time and our money than engaging in politics?

-Mr. Thrustsalone, you are wise beyond your years.

-I’m 88 years old.

-Yet you don’t look a day older than 87.”