“There has perhaps never been a more beguiling concept unleashed upon teenagers: to hear, as an uncertain, unhappy adolescent, that you can become someone different, with a new name, a new identity, and nobody will be allowed to refer to your old, loathsome, shame-filled self ever again. Cruel optimism describes a situation where others cheer along a person who is becoming increasingly attached to a future that is impossible or will be a good deal harder than they have been led to expect.”