15-year-old twins? Mine (girls) just turned 14. What's the secret? Some days I can feel the hair physically leaving my head. I'm fully convinced they both have bright futures as CIA-trained torture experts.
Hey Dr. Detroit - no secrets just the truth -its really easy to fall into enemy territory today with teens - so many messages hijacking their brains and work against parents. So you need to get clear with them and be consistent....whether its grades chores or gadgets - consistency builds street cred. I always tell parents focus on what you want - I am always looking for good judgment, accountability and the brains to ask for help when they need it.
Don't take the bait to escalate situations - they have nothing to lose and will jack you up as far as you will go - They don't want to be in charge - but they need you to be in control so that they can find some space to use their brain-
My chapter on teens and how to respond to difficult moments will give you a couple of gems to up your game with them -