Why does Elio have sex with Marzia even though he knows he is meeting Oliver at midnight? This question isn't really about sexuality, preference or identity but more about why would you have sex with someone else as a distraction to pass the time or was that it? Elio is certainly yearning to have sex with/be with Oliver but where is his mind when he is with Marzia?

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7 years ago
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This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I like what Marc Dejullstromme said about the sexual peak for males...it is almost enough to simply say that Elio was as horny as hell and would take anyone he could get. But Marc realizes there is more to it than that and we do, too. For one thing, Elio is learning about himself, figuring what his place is in the world and in the world of relationships. His beauty and everything else is drawing in the girls as well as the boys and men. Maybe he wants to figure out better just what he does want. Apparently not everybody is clear, especially if they are attractive like Elio was and people of both sexes are badly wanting you.

I think many people (perhaps primarily straight people) think same sex love is a snap...how many straight guys having trouble with women say "Oh how I wish I were gay, I could just go out there on the street and pick up somebody. And another guy would UNDERSTAND me!" Oh yeah, guess again.

I remember meeting a young lesbian at a party who said to me that her therapist gave her the assignment of asking at least one person to dance. I naively said to her, "Well, I'll dance with you." She said, "No, you don't understand, it has to be another woman. With you it's easy, because it doesn't mean anything." Hmm, she had a point there. It is really hard when it really matters. But back to Elio, women aren't really that hard when it comes to sex, they're certainly horny, too. The big turmoil is what happens afterwards because now the emotions are really ignited. A guy might be moving on to something else, then, but she is now thinking, "But we had sex!" Like she is already figuring out the color scheme for her wedding.

Anyway, by this time, Marzia was an easy slide for Elio, whereas Oliver had been an immense struggle. And even when Elio did have full on sex with Oliver, he ended up sick and depressed and seemed to hate Oliver for a while. So there, now, is something I don't get. I never regretted any sex I ever had with anybody. But maybe if ones identity is totally wrapped up in that..despite his attraction to Oliver, actually having GAY SEX might suddenly be a heavy load to carry, at least for a moment. "Does this mean that I am really GAY?" That may not necessarily be all that easy to take, not even nowadays, but certainly back then in time it was a bit more difficult.

And then look at Oliver...look what he chose. All this struggle and love for Elio, and he ends up married with two kids? And he says to Elio, "Do you mind?"

(hide spoiler)]

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Marc Is it because he is nearly 18, so approaching sexual peak for males. Also, he didn't know for sure what was going to happen at midnight.

I'm not sure I would separate the question of identity. But certainly, Marzia came over and there was plenty of time to fill.

Elio mentioned how good it felt with Marzia, that it was a feeling one could get addicted to. At one point, didn't he even admit that having sex with Marzia was more pleasant?

The author is a straight dude, so in my opinion he is representing Elio as getting quite aroused for Marzia, yet having a bisexual identity, that he is drawn towards Oliver and he finally wants to know what it feels like, what it is all about with those boys in the Roman alleys that wanted to sample this pretty boy Elio.

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Call Me by Your Name

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