Poll

Why Do YOU Read M/M Romance Books? Why Straight Women Love Gay Romance by Geoffrey Knight

I love reading about acceptance. Two men in love are just beautiful.
 
  91 votes, 21.1%

The authors are AWESOME and these are some of the best books I've ever read.
 
  64 votes, 14.8%

I got tired of repetitive m/f books. I like the variety.
 
  63 votes, 14.6%

Because 2 C*cks are better than one. The hot sex scenes just turn me on!
 
  54 votes, 12.5%

A combination of reasons, I'll explain below.
 
  54 votes, 12.5%

I don't read m/m books.
 
  38 votes, 8.8%

Angst baby, angst. These guys really know how to rip my heart out.
 
  26 votes, 6.0%

Because I believe in Equality and reading m/m romance drives my activism.
 
  14 votes, 3.2%

Reading about vulnerable men is just so sweet.
 
  14 votes, 3.2%

To better understand a world I don't understand.
 
  7 votes, 1.6%

To feel like I belong.
 
  6 votes, 1.4%

To understand my husband/wife/ son/daughter, etc., better.
 
  1 vote, 0.2%


Poll added by: Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog



This Poll is About

Comments Showing 1-50 of 171 (171 new)


message 1: by Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog (last edited Sep 07, 2012 09:53AM) (new)

Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog What can I say, this genre really clicked with me. I LOVE reading it and talking about it on GR. I hope you'll share your thoughts either here or on a discussion thread about the book (no group to join - open thread) at:

http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/1...

It started as a group read thread but has skyrocketed into a hilarious and poignant discussion of the book...even before it's out.

UPDATE 9/7: The book was released early because of all YOUR awesome comments and your pleading to Geoffrey. Here's the link:

http://www.mlrbooks.com/ShowBook.php?...


Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog For me, my reasons for reading m/m have changed since I began reading it. First, it was for the angst fest of Qhuinn and Blay which got me hooked. Then it was because 2 ARE better than one. Now, it's almost all of the reasons above .


message 3: by Camilla (new)

Camilla Like many others, I also started reading m/m, when my life changed after meeting two guys called Qhuinn and Blay..

I voted for 'angst' because, really, angst rules the world, but I love reading m/m for so many reasons. To me there's nothing different (aside form the sex scenes of course ;) in reading a love story between m/m or m/f. Its just love..


Nathalie ~*Our Future Has Come*~ Yep I agree with u Lis, it's all of the reasons. And of course Qhuinn and Blay changed my life too Camilla :) honestly, reading m/m has made me a different person, it's so freeing if that makes sense. Besides the angsty moments, I'm a happier person now!


message 5: by Tiya (new)

Tiya Rosa It started out as the "two cocks are better than one" reason for me, but the more I read the more I realize that the main force driving me to continue reading m/m is the equal relationship dynamic between the two (or three) MCs.

I'll prolly fuck up my explanation, but what I mean is that both MCs offer pretty much the same things in the relationship. They have the same sex bits, they approach life, love, and sex - especially sex - pretty much the same way, and they can treat each other the same way they'd like to be treated. Of course there are exceptions, but in most cases - barring the usual differences in size, faith, upbringing, etc - the relationship between two men is equal in such a way that it can never be between a man and a woman. The same rule applies between f-f relationship. We have the same lady bits, we view most things the same way as people in the same gender are wont to do, and we know how we liked to be treated better than men could ever figure out.

I think this equality rids many complications - but can also bring up others - and is ridiculously sexy.

I'd like to be more articulate about this and I apologize if others might take offense with the "relationship between two men is equal in such a way that it can never be between a man and a woman" bit, but - English being a second language - this is the best I can do. :)

Anyway, gist is, I like two cocks more than just one and I love the idea of a relationship where both parties are pretty much on an even playing field relationship-wise.


message 6: by TracyMN (new)

TracyMN I like to say "I came looking for information, and stayed because I found it and more..."; the transformation of my work-life by an amazing man, a gay man, was the catalyst for an even greater transformation of my personal life, a life that had seen it's share of wonders, good and bad, but none the likes of those I see every day now- I have to remember to close my mouth before someone asks "What's with you?" because after all, I have a job to do and explaining any of it would take all day.


message 7: by Jen (last edited Sep 05, 2012 04:19AM) (new)

Jen Pretty much all of these:

-I love reading about acceptance. Two men in love are just beautiful.

-The authors are AWESOME and these are some of the best books I've ever read.

-Angst baby, angst. These guys really know how to rip my heart out.

-Reading about vulnerable men is just so sweet.

-Because I believe in Equality and reading m/m romance drives my activism.

-Because 2 C*cks are better than one. The hot sex scenes just turn me on.

-I got tired of repetitive m/f books. I like the variety.

On that last one, I'll add a delightful lack of TSTL whiney-ass, bitchy heroines.

And like most of us, Blay and Qhuinn really opened me up to a new world of great literature.


message 8: by Angela ♥ Mrs. Hollywood ♥ (last edited Sep 05, 2012 04:44AM) (new)

Angela  ♥ Mrs. Hollywood ♥ Camilla ~ ♥Qhuay At Last♥ ~ wrote: "Like many others, I also started reading m/m, when my life changed after meeting two guys called Qhuinn and Blay..

I voted for 'angst' because, really, angst rules the world, but I love reading m..."


I agree Camilla. That is exactly how I feel. There is no difference. "It's just love."


message 9: by TracyMN (new)

TracyMN I'm guessing that's QAF, and as usual, I'm as far from the pack as you can get and still be in the race.


message 10: by Tina (new)

Tina For me it is a combination of men being vulnerable and emoting honestly. It drives my acceptance and activism. I am much more open minded and liberal than before I started reading M/M. Also, two men together in a committed relationship is both sweet and hot!


message 11: by Ami (new)

Ami I admit that I started reading the genre because I got tired with M/F. But after I read it, I realized that there's so much more to love than just M/F. Two men in love can be more angsty, more powerful, just more and more ... and I find myself more open minded towards equality in love.


message 12: by Monika (last edited Sep 05, 2012 06:29AM) (new)

Monika Like Tina I love reading about the men being vulnerable and emoting honestly and when I read about the love and commitment between two men its just beautiful and sweet! Also because the authors are awesome and these are some of the best books I've ever read!


message 13: by Shirley (new)

Shirley Frances I also would have picked: "Angst baby, angst. These guys really know how to rip my heart out." Most m/f books tend to follow the same pattern - they meet, mostly can't stand each other at first sight but there is an undercurrent of lust that drives them together, they get together, have a fight of some sort, separate, then work it out. In m/m we get friends to lovers (one of my favorites!), gay for you (I love that inner turmoil of the 'straight' MC), and we get the 'cruising' MC that doesn't believe in relationships or thinks he's not worthy of love. It's an array of emotions and situations that has kept me reading non stop since I discovered it last year.


message 14: by Hannah (new)

Hannah I read mostly m/m now because I'm tired of the sense of gender inequality that I get from most m/f romances. I can name only a handful of m/f books in which I felt like the main characters were on an even footing throughout the book. Most m/f romances consist of the hero belittling or taking advantage of the heroine for 350 pages, then proposing to her in the end. Am I supposed to find that romantic? To wish them happy together? And why do so many female authors choose to write stories that reaffirm traditional (unequal) gender roles? I find that eliminating the female character altogether removes a lot of that frustration. It sounds odd to say that I read m/m because I'm a feminist, but it's actually true.


Alex is The Romance Fox Why am I reading and loving m/m romance?

1 JR Brotherhood Group members after joining up – because I love the BDB Series and QHUINN…..and thru time with much “nudging” I followed up on their suggestions to add a new and as they called it “a fantastic genre”, and wow….from starting with Dark Soul Series by Aleksandr Voinov…I was HOOKED!!!!

2. Why am I hooked? Because there are some brilliant authors who write this genre, who should be receiving more recognition for their incredible books and aren’t – why should Nora Roberts be recognized as a best-seller author with her books being displayed prominently in bookstores, etc and not Aleksandr Voinov, Abigail Roux, Amy Lane, etc.? Why is m/m romance not seen as a mainstream romance genre and receive the same exposure? I have yet to go into a bookstore in Johannesburg and find m/m romance displayed anywhere…it’s like something secret..you know…think m/m think porn!!! Someone at those huge publishing corporations need to get some “balls” and work on changing these perceptions that the majority of readers don’t read m/m…of course not…where can they find it????

3 Am I tired of m/f and find m/m more exciting – ABSOLUTELY NOT. I love well-written m/f books just as much as m/m….i love romance stories and does not matter who the mc’s are as long as I fall in love with them and their journey to finding their HEA…………..

4 Two c…**** better than one…right..yeah as long as it’s with me!! Just kidding!!!! Nah…I like it as much as 1 c**** and 1 p*****. The hot factor…well it doesn’t just happen with m/m…it may be more “less than gentle” than m/f, which I find can be just as hot and sizzling.

5 Repetitive stories … M/m books can be just as repetitive as m/f, believe me!!! Of course there are those stories that have the ultra alpha-male billionaire who meets the naïve virgin, wants to dominate her, she gets pregnant, blah blah,….but in the end he melts and they go off into the sunset to have their HEA…and then, we have two beyond “butch” looking males, of which one has always been straight and suddenly gets a hard-on for a MAN!!! ..who he thinks is straight but in fact not…the other guy acts all macho to hide his true sexual feelings for that man who he believes will never be his because he’s straight!! Then one night…wow..sparks fly….they get it together…but then both are afraid of coming out…but in the end they do and also go off into the sunset to have their HEA……

6 Vulnerable men are just so sweet….okay, now I can’t say that two men together are more vulnerable, sweet or whatever. All men, straight, bi, gay can show vulnerability, kindness, gentleness and understanding. I don’t go with the “gay men” understand each other more than a heterosexual man/woman do.

But hey, in the end,it's that I have discovered new, happy, fabulous, fantastic reads and very talented and great writers…..


message 16: by Fangtasia (new)

Fangtasia With no shame or compunction whatsoever, I have to say I started reading m/m because two men having sex is exponentially hotter than anything I'd read before, but...

I stayed with the genre because of many reasons also stated in the survey: tired of the same ol', same ol' in m/f romance, love the equality in a same-sex relationship which in and of itself generates all kinds of different conflicts and plot opportunities, the wonderful authors who are so available and write excellent angst.

Last is the great friends I've made in this community, full of intelligent and accepting people.


message 17: by FV Angela (new)

FV Angela I like love stories... no matter whose love stories they are. M/M, Menage, M/F, doesn't matter, I just like to read romance in many different, varied forms.


Alex is The Romance Fox & @angelai so so agree with you and @ fangtasia ....Last is the great friends I've made in this community, full of intelligent and accepting people. "...that is so true....i spend more time on gr than facebook these days!!!!!!! can i believe that???????????? but there are some amazing people here and I love all the intereaction....boooks boooks boooks...xxx


message 19: by SheReadsALot (new)

SheReadsALot If there's more than 1 cock involved, it's always awesome! Then including two men in love? Even better. There's just a different dynamic when reading M/M other than the obvious...and I love it!


Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog WOWWWWWIE WOW WOW (as Junie B. Jones would say)! I cannot believe the amazing comments here. I want to reply to each and every one. You guys are amazing and as Fantasia just said it's, "the great friends" here that make reading m/m all the more wonderful. (Now I wish I had that as a choice in the poll). The discussions I've had with some of you and some authors who are actually 'accessible' has been so eye opening and uplifting and hilarious, that I can't tear myself away.

I love this concept of equality of characters in a m/m relationship. That's a whole new idea for me to ponder. Tiya, you articulated that beautifully.

@Hannah - you said, "It sounds odd to say that I read m/m because I'm a feminist, but it's actually true." I guess it does sound odd on the surface, but doesn't it make perfect sense? I don't identify with feminism (I'm too old or something) but I can certainly understand many underlying issues and concepts and they do tie in perfectly with any subject that deals with equality. Hmmm, more and more to ponder.

@Alex, you bring up some very valid points. I think though, in gay romance, I do see a trend toward an even footing. In straight romance I don't often find that. It exists sure, but it isn't standard. It seems to me there is an underlying wave of activism in many glbt books trying to subtly change the message(s). One being the, "who's the girl", misconception.

I'm so glad Geoffrey's book is prompting this discussion. I've "talked" these books and characters for a while now, but now I'm seeing and discussing what's behind the craze and learning more about myself than ever. Plus, readers of m/m are, as Fangtasia notes, "intelligent and accepting" and I'm really honored to get to talk with all of you.


Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog That we CAN talk on a subject that covers hawt sex, equality, political activism, tender romance AND make friends, is an amazing area of conversation.


message 22: by Hannah (new)

Hannah LisaT - We Are Qhuay! wrote: "WOWWWWWIE WOW WOW (as Junie B. Jones would say)!"

I <3 you for that!


Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog Aww, what's not to love about Junie B. Jones, eh Hannah???




message 24: by Baba (new)

Baba  My combo:

To watch men fall in love is a thing of pure beauty.

Some of my all-time favorite books are M/M novels.
And I have discovered some AWESOME authors by reading M/M stories. Let me mention one author: Damon Suede is a super sweetheart. But of course there are many more.

Yes, m/f books can get repetitive. I started to read M/M books out of curiosity and I wanted to broaden my horizons. I will shamelessly admit that men lovin' is hot! *not blushing*


Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog @Baba - You are SO right, Damon is a doll. What a nice guy.

:D


message 26: by [deleted user] (new)

I love reading m/m fiction because I really love the whole strength/vulnerability mix and it's also just sooo hot! :))

Anne
xxx


Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog Okay Anne, now tell us why you Write m/m romance.

I meant to ask this over on the book's thread but here would work too.


message 28: by Elizabetta (new)

Elizabetta I read m/m for the top 8 reasons ;p


message 29: by [deleted user] (new)

I think for the same reasons I read it, Lisa - the voice in my head is mainly a male one so I grew up turning m/f fiction into m/m fiction in my imagination as it somehow became more powerful that way. Writing m/m also gives me a stronger voice that I don't feel I have in normal life (being a middle-aged average-looking woman living in the rural UK) - it means I can be angry, passionate, or "feel" any number of other strong emotions without people looking at me askance (though they often do that anyway).

Plus the more I write m/m, the more committed I become to it and the more issues of equality and justice become increasingly important to me - which is something I say a little about in the upcoming book - so writing m/m changes me too. It just feels more real - oh, and the sex is in some ways easier to write as it doesn't become too personal in terms of my own experience (my marriage is great but it remains private!), and it's still hot too!

Hope that rambling makes some sort of sense - I think this is just personal to me, as each writer is different :))

Anne
xxx


message 30: by Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog (last edited Sep 05, 2012 03:32PM) (new)

Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog @Anne - Boy oh Boy, can I identify with the 'people looking at you with preconceived perceptions' bit. I often describe my looks as "mid-western housewife" (see I can stereotype too *shame) AND I am A L W A Y S mistaken for a "good Christian woman" and NO ONE would assume there's gay romance on my kindle (maybe that's a good thing).

So, you're telling me that I can become a writer and live out my wildest fantasies through my characters? Well FACE PALM moment right there!

*Oh Lisa, open mouth, insert foot*

However, if you can use your passion and learn (and teach) something about humanity, then you are brilliant.


message 31: by [deleted user] (last edited Sep 05, 2012 09:45PM) (new)

Tee hee, Lisa, we "good Christian women" ALWAYS have secret lives - it's the only way to survive the rigours of church! :)) Get your keyboard out now and start writing!...

Anne
xxx

PS It is very interesting - and probably the subject for another discussion entirely - how many straight women who write gay romance ARE connected with the church in some way. There's quite a few of us! Is it because we just have a thing about men who wear a frock of a Sunday?.... :))


Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog Well, I wouldn't want to encourage you to write a saints to sinners story but......???

Me, I'm just another confused atheiagnostilibra who really doesn't know anything. Trust me, you don't want me sitting next to you in church on Sunday. My husband is Catholic (I think you said you were, right?), luckily he just nods and smiles at all my questions.

That is a fascinating topic though. Maybe Geoffrey's next book will be "Straight Christian Women Who Love Gay Romance".


message 33: by Elizabetta (new)

Elizabetta Catholic girl here, born and raised, church twice a week/sang in the choir. Unfortunately I grew to have too many qualms with the church and it's stand on many modern issues. Still, once a Catholic always a Catholic and... you know what they say about good Catholic girls :)


message 34: by TracyMN (new)

TracyMN Growing up, if you weren't Catholic your best friend certainly was, and you learn what it means either way. I was the one wishing I was Catholic, for the rituals of course. I changed my mind about confession, but still thinking lighting candles for people is the coolest thing on earth!


message 35: by [deleted user] (new)

Not Catholic, Lisa, but dyed-in-the-wool Anglican! Lots of my family are Catholic - they're the wild side! :))

I really love lighting candles too, though my Baptist-born husband thinks it's hysterical when I try to find a tall candle to suit him! Oh, and that should SO definitely be Geoffrey's next book, Lisa ...

Anne
xxx


Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog I would never deny your right to worship. Why oh why do some want to deny others the right to love?

Anne, you are a beautiful voice for equality and knowing that you and many other "good Christians" believe in love in all it's forms gives me a great deal of peace.

Here in the states it's an election year (I'm sure you know) and the noise level is so high that it's deafening. So to interact with you here, and have you be a reminder that not ALL people of faith are closed minded, is very refreshing.

Of course I know this already, but it's just a constant buzz here right now. This country is so divided, and while I think many want us to believe we're divided on economic issues, it's just not true. It's the social issues that are the electric undercurrent.

Economically people grunt and groan about how to "get it done" but it's the social topics that really rile people up.

Like me, I guess.

Honestly, I think the rhetoric is loudest just before, and because, great change is to come.


message 37: by Elizabetta (new)

Elizabetta Tracy wrote: "Growing up, if you weren't Catholic your best friend certainly was, and you learn what it means either way. I was the one wishing I was Catholic, for the rituals of course. I changed my mind abou..."

Yes, it was/is the rituals that I real loved. The singing and the pageantry. Live theatre in a way...


message 38: by [deleted user] (new)

So agree, Lisa - I do wish the media would stop assuming all Christians are against GLBTQ equality, because we're most definitely not! And I also really wish our own Church of England leadership would stop making statements and assuming things that we the pew-people just don't believe it - deeep sigh ... :((

Love the theatre comment, Elizabetta - and that's sooo right. I love theatre in all its form and church ritual is a big part of that! xxx


message 39: by Elizabetta (new)

Elizabetta Anne wrote: "So agree, Lisa - I do wish the media would stop assuming all Christians are against GLBTQ equality, because we're most definitely not! And I also really wish our own Church of England leadership wo..."

Well, y'know when you're a kid... then I hit middle school and all the questioning started, my eyes opening in so many ways.


message 40: by Monique (new)

Monique So I just read my first m/m and loved it so much. The reason why I chose 'reading about vulnerable men is just so sweet' is because when I read f/m, the male is always the controlling, dominant, alpha male. But when it's two men, you get that twice over and a whole lot of insight into how sensitive and vulnerable two men can really be.

And the contrast between how alpha male two men are and how sweet and tender they are together as a couple. It's so heartwarming to read about two men who care so much about each other and fall in love with one another.


message 41: by [deleted user] (new)

So true, Monique - I agree entirely! :))


message 42: by Tiya (new)

Tiya Rosa LisaT - We Are Qhuay! wrote: "I love this concept of equality of characters in a m/m relationship. That's a whole new idea for me to ponder. Tiya, you articulated that beautifully."

Thanks, Lisa. The book and your updates got me thinking. I used to shrug the question off and say I liked m/m because of that indefinable sexiness we women find when we see two men going at it, much like how two women affect men. Turns out there's more.


Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog Monique - Great choice on a first m/m read. You're in for many more treats with Ty & Zane.


Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog Tiya - That "women like 2 men for the same reasons that men like 2 women" concept really worked for me when I first came across it. Now though, I don't 'think' that's nearly the whole thing anymore.

Obviously, I would have to be a straight dude to know exactly what they're thinking while fantasizing, watching, or reading about two women. I've always assumed (yeah, I know) it was purely physical. Maybe there is more to it but I've never seen any evidence that men are considering the women's emotional connection to each other. Or their past and how it brought them to the point of being together. Of course, those things aren't portrayed in porn, either. So, I'd have to hear from a man reading lesbian fiction (or non-fiction, I suppose) to know if there is more to it for them.

Also, it was the emotion of Qhuinn and Blay that caught me first. We haven't gotten much "physical" from them, yet. So it definitely was the angst (which is an emotion right?). Moving on to more m/m the physical aspect rose up and took over any coherent thought I had on the subject for awhile.

Now, the subject has gotten so complex and interesting for me, that I don't think it'd be possible to narrow it down to one, or ten, thing(s).

THERE'S SO MUCH TO DISCOVER!!!! Which could have been another Poll answer. Hmm.


message 45: by Tiya (new)

Tiya Rosa We are on the same boat with Qhuay inducting us into the world of man love, Lisa. So I guess, the first attraction was the uber angst. But you're right, it's now a combination of a whole lot of reasons, though the top of which for me is still that idea of equality.

Being raised in a culture where gender roles are still expected - not always in a negative way, of course - I find it unbearably sexy reading both MCs not needing to jump through hoops just to get laid. There doesn't have to be excessive wooing. Discussion about sex is straightforward with the "How do you want me?" (prolly my most favorite line in m/m romance). And no one is treated like a slut just cause two consenting adults decide to get it on hours after meeting each other (slut shaming is a national past time in my country).


message 46: by Jen (new)

Jen LisaT - We Are Qhuay! wrote: "That we CAN talk on a subject that covers hawt sex, equality, political activism, tender romance AND make friends, is an amazing area of conversation."

^^^What you said here. :-D


Lisa Arbitrary - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog Tiya, what book is that line from? I love it.

Right, the male approach is so different. They may be hesitant about whether or not the other guy is accessible but the act of sex isn't typically looked at as shameful. (Aside from bigoted opinion). That is a big difference.

I do like a virginal dude losing it for the first time but, from what I've read, seems to just be about experience not about shame or "losing" something. Or "giving away a gift", ick!

Oh gawd, look at what I just wrote. I have 2 daughters. I'm a daughter. Those things for women are important and need to be considered. Maybe that's what's so nice with men. They just don't have that as a wall to push through.

Okay, now I'm going to contradict myself. I was on the bandwagon about Qhuinn being Blay's first. (view spoiler) So yeah, I'm just confused and wishy-washy, maybe.


message 49: by Jen (new)

Jen Ditto, honey!

Also, I have to say I'm glad Blay (view spoiler)


message 50: by Tiya (last edited Sep 06, 2012 09:55AM) (new)

Tiya Rosa LisaT - We Are Qhuay! wrote: "Tiya, what book is that line from? I love it.

Those things for women are important and need to be considered. Maybe that's what's so nice with men. They just don't have that as a wall to push through."


A lot of the contemporary m/m romance novels I've read have this line, I think. It's usually followed by, "On your back" or "over that bench" or "bending over the kitchen counter" or something dirty and sexy and delicious. :D

I want to believe it works the same way with f/f relationships, too. I mean, the equality. I'd love to read f/f - my gay friend is ridiculously mum about her sex life - to see if the same dynamic exists, only feminine. Sorta like the first time together is always important or doing small romantic gestures just because without people thinking you're a pussy or shutting up and being considerate when the other is having menstrual cramps. The sex is also pretty intense, I think, with both participants having a more concrete idea on how to please each other if only for the belief that "I like it when this is being done to me, so she prolly does too."

I'm veering way off course, now. Lemme turn around. :)

Re: Qhuinn being Blay's first. (view spoiler)


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