The Demigod Files (Percy Jackson and the Olympians)

by Rick Riordan

Like somebody was getting attacked by possessed poultry, and believe me, that’s a situation I’ve been in before.

You know how teachers tell you the magic word is please? That’s not true. The magic word is puke. It will get you out of class faster than anything else.

I guess that’s why you don’t see many fat gods.

“You were one of them,” I promised. “Just don’t tell anybody, okay? Or I’d have to kill you.”

Dionysus, was turning anyone who misbehaved into a shrub.

“Owl-head” and “Wise Girl”

It was hard for anyone to look cute in combat armor, but Annabeth pulled it off.

I’d never seen her so happy, like the chance to beat me up was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

“If I was going to pick one person in the world to reattach my head,” I said, “I’d pick you.”

“If somebody twisted my eyeballs, I’d wake up,”

Beckendorf, whose legs were now working fine (nothing like being chased by a huge monster to get your body back in order)

Its head creaked as it looked down at me. It seemed more confused than angry, like, Why did you cut off my toe?

“Percy, you’re a brave guy,” she said. “Just take the compliment. I swear, is it so hard?”

He’s good-looking, but don’t you dare tell him I said that.

and Clarisse is still sticking the new kids’ heads into the toilets. It’s nice that some things never change.

and I was stuck on a hill in a thunderstorm fighting this huge bull dude while Grover was passed out wailing, “Food!”

Our English teacher, Dr. Boring (I’m not kidding; that’s his real name),

I turned to Thalia. “I’ll hold the flower while you beat up the thief ?”

“He’s handy with zombie crowds,” Thalia admitted. “Think I’ll take him along next time I go to the mall.”

Sisy here—May I call you Sisy?” “No!” “Sisy tricked Persephone

“Iapetus shall crush you!” one shouted. “Who?” I asked. Then I ran her through with my sword. Note to self: If you vaporize monsters, they can’t answer your questions.

As we walked, I tried to think about positive things: my favorite basketball players, my last conversation with Annabeth,

I climbed out of the River Lethe, surprising Thalia and Nico, who jumped back a good five feet. I staggered forward, collapsed in front of my friends, and passed out cold.

“My—my lord?” he called. Iapetus sat up and stared at him. Then he looked at me and smiled. “Hello,” he said. “Who am I?” “You’re my friend,” I blurted out. “You’re . . . Bob.” That seemed to please him greatly. “I am your friend Bob!”

They weren’t thrilled about lugging Bob the Titan too, but I didn’t have the heart to leave him behind, especially after he noticed my shoulder wound, said, “Owie,” and healed it with a touch.