Always On My Mind

by Beth Moran

‘You did just hear how I got pregnant during a crappy fling with a deadbeat? We all get in a mess at some point, Jessie. It’s what we do next that matters.’

‘Jessie, I can promise you I won’t ever forget who you are. I just wasn’t expecting you up yet.’

I’d really liked – loved – Elliot once. And while his injury had changed him, he was still the same person in all the ways that mattered.

‘Excellent tip, thanks Jessie!’ Arthur said. ‘Isaac and I would also like some help with conversational techniques, style and things to do on a first date. Oh, and Isaac would like to know how to stop acting like an arse in front of Connie.’ ‘And Arthur would like to know how to stop acting like a freak in front of everyone,’ Isaac snarked back.

‘Well, they all look very… nice. You can stay at home when the rest of us go shopping.’ ‘If it’s all right with you, I’d like to come. Like I said before, it’s time I expanded my world a little and I’d appreciate your opinion. I think we have the same sort of taste and you always look lovely. I really like that shirt you’re wearing so, well… time to shut up now, Elliot.’

‘Oh, you know I’ll do anything for a good breakfast. I’m pleased you felt you could ask me.’ When Elliot looked me in the eyes I could almost pretend the past ten years had never happened. ‘While I wouldn’t want everyone watching me fumble through a few basic tasks, I’ve never felt like I had to be anyone but myself with you.’

‘Jessica, this is my future wife we’re talking about! My unborn children. The legacy of Wood’s funeral directors. An entire family lineage!’

‘Plus, it would be completely unprofessional,’ I added, aware of the time ticking but working hard to keep my patience. ‘I told you Elsa won’t be impressed if she thinks you’ve tricked her into a romantic dinner.’ ‘Tricked is a little harsh. I prefer the term, “surprised her with”.’

‘I want you for your brawn, not your brains.’ Elliot jerked his head back. ‘I mean… not that I’m saying there’s anything wrong with your brain…’ I grimaced. ‘Crap. I’m sorry. I can’t think of a single way to make that comment not completely offensive.’ He grinned, making it my turn to be surprised. ‘We both know there’s a whole lot wrong with my brain and nothing to gain by pretending otherwise. I wasn’t offended. I just can’t remember a woman wanting me for my brawn before. Not that that means it hasn’t happened, of course. Given my terrible memory, thanks to the brain problem.’

‘I’ll be back here for the meeting next week. I’m not busy on the bank holiday, so Thursday is fine. Oh, and Jessie.’ He paused as he reached the main entrance. ‘Whatever you do, don’t let anyone treat you like a fool. Them,’ he nodded down the corridor, ‘or anyone else.’

‘You were going to make lunch,’ I said, realising the time. ‘I’ve messed up your schedule again.’ I shook my head. ‘I really need to stop doing that.’ Elliot stood up, a look on his face that I was too overwrought to interpret. ‘I’d rather you didn’t. You messing up my schedule is the best thing that’s happened to me in years.’

Alone. That was, until I remembered the look on Elliot’s face when he’d heard I was now single.

‘That’s why you’re here, after all,’ I said, bumping against his shoulder. Having the tournament to focus on had helped ease the simmering new something between us, but there had still been enough moments when it was impossible for me to ignore how when Elliot looked at me, it stirred up a heat deep inside that no longer relied on old memories to keep smouldering.