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Sometimes my life felt so small. And I had to wonder why those of us who were given small lives still had to feel pain so big. It hardly seemed fair.
She ended up being his greatest fortune because she gave purpose to his lonely life.”
“See, Tenleigh, your dad left you when you were three days old, and that hurts because he didn’t want to get to know who you are. But my mama, she knew me—she knew I loved her. And she left anyway.”
No girl had ever been more desirable in a more ridiculous, unbecoming outfit.
“There’s this line in it that talks about keeping a little fire burning inside, ‘however small, however hidden.’” “Yes,” I said softly. “I think about that line sometimes. I think about how that little fire is hope. I think about how you have to keep it burning to get you through the hard times, the times that seem so painful you don’t want to continue on.”
“The hope that life won’t always hurt so badly. The belief that I’ll get out of here someday—that I won’t be cold or hungry forever. It keeps me going. It’s my fire. It helps me do the things I need to do to survive, and it helps me hate myself less for doing them.”
I think that when enough time has passed, when you’ve survived that which you didn’t imagine you could, there’s a dignity in that. Something you can own. A pride in knowing the pain made you stronger. The pain made you fight to succeed. Someday, when I’m living my dreams, I’m going to think of all the things that broke my heart and I’m going to be thankful for them.—TF Even you, Kyland.
Half agony, half hope. Half pain, half ecstasy. Half grief, half joy. Half my downfall, half my savior.
It helped me remember why the suffering was worth it. It helped me focus on what I was doing and why. It helped me remember the moment at the edge of our lavender field after we’d made love, when I realized I’d do anything to get you out of here, even if it meant breaking your heart.”
We had everything we needed. None of it was big. Most of it was simple. But what I knew in that moment was that the size of your home, your car, your wallet doesn’t have one single thing to do with the size of your life. And my life…my life felt big, filled with love and with meaning.
