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There are many moments you can run from in life—embarrassments, regrets, and failures—but others cling to you forever, seeping into your very being, becoming a transformative part of your soul.
“That’s very kind of you to say.” I force a smile. Although well-meant, I’ve never appreciated that particular sentiment. It implies that the only thing standing between a person and success is effort. But that isn’t always true, is it?
“Music has always been a balm to the downtrodden; a way to communicate when you have no voice, to transform the pain into something beautiful, something worthwhile.”
Because music comes from a person’s heart, from their soul, it’s not something that can be stolen or stripped away. And in its purest form, it’s not about performance or perfection. It’s personal.”
Art is personal, not perfection. Don’t overthink it. Just feel it. Let the brushstrokes find you.
There’s something about the way he so easily dismisses all the characteristics and achievements I hold in high regard that rubs me the wrong way, as if everything I’d been taught to revere in life is worthless.
“Perfection is a myth. We all have cracks, scars, and weaknesses. Just like we all have different strengths. But when you’re a team, when you can lean on one another and help each other grow, that’s when you’ve found someone special, someone worthy of forever.”
It feels like I’m standing on the edge of a precipice. I could jump, but I have no idea what’s beneath me, and more than a small part of me is afraid to find out.
What if he’s right? What if I should focus less on striving for perfection and more on continual growth and, dare I say, finding enjoyment in the process? It’s at least something to consider, isn’t it?
Just that this is what I remember most from when we were kids. You always had a book with you, like you preferred reading to spending time in the real world.” I color slightly at how well he knows me. “I suppose, in some ways, I did. When you read, you can be anyone you want. Someone funny or clever, adventurous and brave. Someone far more interesting than I ever was.”
“What about you? If I remember correctly, you were quite the bookworm yourself.” “That’s true. And in my own way, I enjoyed living vicariously through the characters, too. Mostly because they helped me see life through someone else’s eyes. I guess you could say books helped teach me empathy.”
But whether I leave tonight or in a few weeks, like planned, this life is temporary. It was always temporary. A reality I find far more devastating than I care to admit.
“The Skate-a-thon is a couples event,” she explains, albeit a bit muffled as she’s still facedown, her mouth pressed against her sleeve. “You’re supposed to skate in pairs, holding hands the entire time. If you let go or stop skating, you’re disqualified. The last couple on the ice wins.”
Gilmore Girls "Dance Marathon" vibes
“Oh, ye of little faith.” Ethan chuckles. “It’s simple psychology. Breaking a goal into smaller, more manageable steps makes it less daunting. So, next time you feel like giving up, tell yourself to take one more step. Then take one more.”
Is the promotion—and the possibility of finally making my father proud—worth losing a friend who sees the real me, inside and out, and not only loves me unconditionally, but actually likes me, too? Some days, I’m not so sure.
“You’re not the same person you used to be, Q. And I don’t merely mean from when we were kids. You’ve grown even during these past few months. I don’t think I’ve told you this, but I admire you tremendously. And seeing how brave you’ve been has given me a lot to think about. About myself and about how much I’m going to miss you.”
Encouraged, I carry her words with me, metaphorically tucked in my pocket as I complete mile after mile. When my muscles ache and my feet throb, I pick a spot in the distance and press forward, remembering that regardless of the past, I’m capable of more than I once believed.
