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My mother has always told me to trust my instincts. But it’s hard to trust your instincts when they’re breaking your heart.
“I do love you, Wren,” he claimed, tears clumping his brown lashes together in spikes. “In some ways, I wish I’d never met her because I think you and I could have been happy. But lately I’ve started to wonder if we’re really right for each other.”
“That’s okay,” I mumble. “No. It’s not. It’s going to take more than a simple sorry to make up for that and all the other mistakes I made when you were younger. But I hope I can make up for some of them now.”
“Please stay,” she murmurs into my ear. “I would like you to.” I nod against her shoulder and my voice is muffled when I reply, “I’d really like that too. Thank you.”
“I’ll be honest with you. I am nowhere close to letting her go. And it sounds as though you’re still struggling to come to terms with what your fiancé did to you.” He pauses, waiting for my confirmation, which I give to him by nodding. “But if you want a friend . . .”
As Anders tackles a particularly stiff wheel nut, the sleek muscles on his arms tightening and flexing, I remind myself that he just wants to be friends. But he’s a very hot friend. And it’s okay if I appreciate all of his assets, right?
Wilson high-fives me, then Davis does too, and I look at Anders with such glee, only to find him already laughing, his face full of affection. I am so full of like for him in that moment, and when he doesn’t break eye contact, neither do I.
“You’re right about Laurie,” I say. “She’s gone. And I am so very sorry you lost her.” His chest expands as he shakily inhales. “I’m so sorry,” I repeat as tears fill my eyes. “It’s not your fault that I couldn’t help falling for you.”
“I’m going to leave now, though, let you be. I don’t want to be another problem for you to have to worry about.”
I smile and glance at the dark fields again, sobering as I turn back to him. “Can you hide his car keys, just to be on the safe side?” “I’ll sleep with them under my pillow,” he replies. “I’m not joking.” “Neither am I.”
And I realize: I haven’t broken her. I haven’t broken us. This is Wren. Wren doesn’t give up. She doesn’t quit. And neither will I. Not on her. Never again.
We simply promise to love and honor each other and to always be there, as long as we’re needed. That’s how we put it. And I know that Anders will have thought of Laurie as he said those words to me, that I’ll never have his whole heart, not while hers is still beating. She will always be a part of our relationship, our marriage, until the day that she’s not.
