Hijab Butch Blues

by Lamya H.

Slowly, it starts to sink in that it’s racism that’s the problem, not race; that it’s white supremacy that’s the problem, not me; it’s white supremacy that needs to be fought and dismantled.

And gender is nowhere within these concepts that define the Divine. God is neither man nor woman nor masculine nor feminine, nor not masculine, nor not feminine. This God, who teaches us that we can be both and neither and all and beyond and capable of multiplicities and expansiveness. Nonbinary, genderqueer, They, this God that is the God, my God, my Allah. Who created the world and created language and created the first person, Adam, this first person who was man and woman and neither and both and not a mistake, never a mistake. —

“My Lord. Expand for me my breast with confidence. And ease for me my task. And untie the knot from my tongue. That my speech may be understood.”

These people who are my people. Who know what it’s like to be shunned for Muslimness but can’t extend that empathy to queerness. It’s less heartbreaking that they don’t know.