Even within the supposedly enlightened atmosphere of a college community, the amount of stir my son’s dresses has caused among our friends has surprised my wife and me. “Experts” we have known for years, psychologists who lecture around the country, have offered unsolicited advice about our “problem.” People have expressed great concern about Alexander’s impending “gender confusion.” Helen, Alexander’s day care provider, gave us characteristically blunt advice, not about how to handle our son so much as how to handle our friends. “If it was Alexandra and not Alexander,” she told us, “and if
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